(photo from Just Jared published 24/05/2012) Rob attending K's After Party for On The Road premiere in 65th Cannes Film Festival
***************************************************************************************
*flashback* (just before the cheating scandal in July 2012)
CANNES, May 2012
I've often wondered if her skin is as smooth all over like I always imagined it. Those were the days I envy someone so much coz he has what I don't.
I ran my hands all over her smooth porcelain skin, careful not to wake her up. She wasn't able to rest enough, after what I put her through last night. I grin to myself. There's no denying who she's with now.
She's mine. She'll always be mine.
I lay back down and hugged her back to me, nuzzling her hair. Contrary to what everyone thinks, her hair smells good. Her skin has its own scent, I would bottle it up if I can. "My own brand of heroine" Edward would say. Yes. I'm so addicted to her.
I noticed how I got so possessive of her lately. It's like I can't bear not knowing where she is every moment. I have the need to plaster her to my side and have her stay there forever. I sound like a maniac but last night I just couldn't help but realize that my fears where actually founded.
It's normal for couples in the industry, seeing your counterpart in a movie with somebody else. It's all work anyway. Easy for them to say when they've been through that emotion for so many times in their lives already. Seeing her nude with two men, aroused or slightly disturbed, I didn't know what I was feeling.
I ended up a little drunk in her after party last night. I wasn't able to say my feelings out loud. I was just so proud of her, yet i was feeling a little needy also. Arms wrapped around her the entire time, stealing all her attention. I wanted to get out of the place and just drag her back to the hotel room and mark every part of her. It's crazy!
Unlike them, I've only loved one woman, only her. I feel like a green boy with all the overwhelming emotions, I should be used to this by now. It's been like 2 years for us, but it's only lately that we've grown so close and transcended that easy-going relationship we used to have. Now, we have to be more serious. Moving in together, attending weddings, visiting family on holidays, considering the future, you can't call them baby steps anymore.
I find myself thinking about our future lately. Sometimes I open it up in small conversations, but I understand. We're still so young. She's still young. The thought of it scares her a bit and even if she doesn't say it I can see it in her eyes.
But No, I can't bear it. I can't bear the thought of her not wanting to share her future with me. If i have to wait, I'll wait forever.
It's so early in the morning but there's no post-coital glow for me, it's just me and my emotions choking me slowly. I hid my face in her hair not wanting to see the dawn breaking outside the french windows. I hugged her to me tightly and bid the day to come a little late. It's my turn now, I know she'll be there. She hasn't seen the movie yet, hopefully she'll like it.
"Babe...that tickles" she said breathlessly.
"You're awake" I chuckled, surprised.
She turned in my arms to face me with a little smile on her lips. She framed my face with both her hands and planted a morning kiss on my lips. I grabbed the back of her neck to hold her to me and prolong it, but she laughed and kissed my neck instead and hurriedly got out of bed.
"Come on, we have to hurry or else we're gonna be late" with her hands outstretched, she coaxed me out.
"Can we stay here forever instead?" I asked, languidly stretching on the hotel bed.
"It's your big day Rob, and I can't wait to be there for you" she reminded me.
I stared at her there, standing in all her glory. No thought of being shy, so proud like a goddess. My goddess. I smiled at her. No, I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to go back to the real world where I have to share her.
She sighed and sat back facing me on the bed. Slowly she brushed her hand over my hair, rumpling it more. We just stared at each other like that for a few seconds. Then she slowly whispered the words I rarely hear "I love you..."
I took a deep breath. Everytime I hear it, it always steals the breath out of my lungs. I find myself gulping for air each time. I suddenly sit up and grabbed her to me.
To hell with the festival.