"The baby is the size of a grape." Josh said matter of factly as he read a baby book over my stomach. "It can't do much right now though." He added which made me laugh.
"What are you expecting? It's a grape not a toy." I giggled. My top was rolled up so my stomach was out as I laid on the bed, Josh balanced a book on my stomach and once in a while kissed it.
"I know. I can't wait until it can hear us or it starts kicking." He grinned as he flipped through the book.
"Let me guess, you're gonna play it twenty one pilots." I joked but he just nodded seriously in reply.
"Maybe only the instrumentals so he can really hear the drums." Josh and surprised me with how full on he was about all of this.
"I'm sorry, he?" I snorted, it was very clear Josh wanted a miniature version of himself.
"Is it bad that I want a boy? I mean, it will most likely get on better with Ollie if it's a boy. Ollie's only gonna be like a year older than him." He explained, I raise my eyebrows.
"Shit, we need to buy Ollie a gift for his first birthday." I stressed, not having anything in mind even though it's a week away.
"We are giving him the gift of an automatic best friend. He doesn't need anything else." Josh replied, I rolled my eyes.
"Joshua." I scolded him, he grinned back.
"You're gonna be so good at telling him off." He started to crawl towards me but I just shook my head.
"Stop calling it a he, you're tempting fate and I want fate to have an equal shot here." I grabbed his face with one hand as he hovered over me. I gave him a quick kiss then rolled off the bed.
"Where are you going? We still need to pack for tour." He called after me. I just ignored him and made my way to the bathroom that wasn't in our bedroom.
I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself. My hands ran along my stomach, I turned to the side where a bump was forming. It had only just hit me how big I was going to get and I wasn't sure what to do.
"Sage?" Josh called as he walked out of our bedroom. He noticed me from the open door, looking at myself and holding my stomach in the mirror and smiled. "You're gonna glow babe." He snaked his arms around my stomach and rested them over my belly button. I leant my head back and closed my eyes.
"Still gonna be fat." I pointed out. He kissed from behind my ear down to my shoulder, his arms refused to move from my waist.
"You're still going to be beautiful." He whispered. I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to let me have a doubt in my mind about this.
"I wish you were the pregnant one, then I wouldn't have all these negative thoughts." I said quietly, he picked me up and placed me on the counter top of the bathroom. He tucked my hair behind both ears and leant down so he was my height.
"What negative thoughts?" He asked. I wrapped my legs around the back of his thighs and pulled him closer.
"Just everything that can go wrong. I've got emotionally attached now. And I'll never have that figure again or the life we used to live. It's all going to change so much." I confessed, Josh gave me a sympathetic smile.
"It's okay baby. Yes it'll be different but you will love it so much more." He tried to convince me but the truth was that, whether or not I voiced them, I had doubts about being a mother and having children. It was completely terrifying.
Josh smiled at me his beautiful smile and leant down to kiss me. His hands roamed my legs while they gripped his hips. My head hit the mirror, causing me to giggle into the kiss.
"Hmm, do you wanna go for a walk?" Josh asked as he pulled away from me. I nodded and kissed him once more.
Josh held Jim's lead as we walked the usual walking route. He held my hand in his free hand and let them swing in the middle.
"So, you know my friend Jesse?" Josh started the conversation. I nodded, having met him at a few occasions. "Well, he wants me to go out with him and couple of guys tonight" he added.
"Oh. Okay." I was never going to stop Josh from going out with his friends as long as he told me beforehand.
"If you don't want me to that's fine." He looked at me as if he were asking for permission.
"It's fine Josh, I can handle a night on my own." I laughed as if it were ridiculous. Josh grinned.
"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Where are you going?" I asked out of curiosity.
"No where fancy, probably just to a bar or something. Get some drinks, I haven't seen them in a while." He shrugged, I didn't see this as a problem. There was no reason for me to.
"Is Jesse the one with the girlfriend who's like..." I didn't know how to word it properly.
"Psychotic? Absolutely" he finished my sentence, I laughed and nudged him.
"I wasn't going to say that!" I laughed, he just chuckled.
"Yes you were. She is though, he's literally trapped with her because she'll murder anyone else who goes near him" he laughed.
"I'd murder anyone else who goes near you. Girls are like that, it's not psychotic it's romantic" I grinned, he rolled his eyes.
"You would invite them in for dinner and make them your special pasta. You couldn't hurt a soul." He kissed my head but I just shook it.
"I almost hurt Debby a couple of times and she didn't even do anything wrong really." I shrugged. Hindsight was such a beautiful thing.
"You didn't though. That's where you and Jesse's girl differ. She's actually harmed people over it." He said seriously.
"See, I don't see why girls hurt the other girls. If the guy is straying, it's his fault for not being loyal." I replied. Josh jolted as Jim pulled him but he looked back at me.
"What if the girl knew that the boy had a girlfriend?" He asked.
"Then yeah I guess that's different. Just to let you know, you cheat on me and I'll cut your dick off and take Jim away." I smiled, his eyes widened.
"I don't know what's worse." He laughed.
Josh left the house to see his friends in the evening and I sat in front of the tv with my food. I didn't plan on moving anytime soon.
Jim laid next to me for most of the night, only getting up to go to the toilet or for food; a boy after his own parents.
I watched a few movies before it started getting really late and the old person in me was screaming for sleep. I let my movie play out as I laid on the couch and closed my eyes, hoping Josh would return soon.
The smell of alcohol woke me up and made me jump as Josh was sat on the floor in front of me.
"Hey baby." He grinned, I smiled and sat up.
"Hey, did you have a good night?" I asked, he nodded and kissed me. I pulled away instantly.
"You taste like a brewery, that's not good for the baby." I pointed out and stood up so I could finally go to bed.
"You didn't have to wait up" he followed me upstairs.
"Yeah but that's what good wives do" he stopped me on the stairs and slammed him mouth onto mine again forcefully. I pushed him away.
"Josh, you're drunk and taste disgusting. Stop." I held his face and watched his eyes begin to roll back.
"Uh, rude." He sang as I pulled him up the stairs and into the bedroom. "Ah ha, the bedroom. Good choice." He said as he took off his trousers. I took off his shirt but not in a sexy way, in a more motherly way. Josh however, didn't get the memo and tried to take off my shirt.
"Joshua, stop it." I poked him in the chest and finally pushed him onto the bed.
"Forceful, I like it." He growled, I rolled my eyes and pulled the covers from below him so I could put them over him.
"I'm gonna get ready for bed. Close your eyes and think of nice things" I recited what my mom used to say to me when I went to bed as a child.
"I'll be thinking of you!" He called as I made my way to our bathroom.
When I was pampered and ready, I climbed into our bed where Josh was still lying awake.
"You're gonna have to learn to be quiet when you come in from nights out when the baby comes." I pointed out. He turned to look at me and smiled.
"I thought you wouldn't want me to go out after that." He confessed, I shook my head.
"You can go out as long as you come back." I held up my pinky and he shook it with his.
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short and pathetic. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been on holiday. New chapters coming soon and thank you all for your baby name suggestions!