Amber's P.O.V
I sat at my piano and just played the tune that kept repeating in my head. Every since Xiamarion told me he didn't want to see me, I stopped trying. I haven't seen him since he woke up the other week in the hospital.
He's home now, but mama Jackie is staying with him so she can watch him closely and taking care of him. He has to do physical therapy and see a psychologist once a week. He can walk just fine but the doctors wanted to make sure since he was in a coma for so long and he can't really remember certain things quite well.
Of course I take Xiamara to go see her daddy everyday, but I just avoid seeing him now. When he's ready to talk to me, he'll come around. I started singing as the words just came to me. I really felt it in my soul.
"My heart sings in a key no one has heard
And when you doubt, you make me smile
I tune out the world
And all the sadness disappeared like magic
And love was all that remained
You can't run, you can't hide
From my love
Never, I thought but I was wrong
Have to make sure every morning
Wasn't a dream, 'cause that's what it seems
But you're real, I can't stop falling
A deep connection, oh, your imperfection
I wouldn't change you at all
You can't run, no, you can't hide
From my love
People can say what they want
I really don't care at all
I know this love is for real
And I don't care about the way they feel
'Cause I know that I'd trade it all for you
The ground may shake us
One day the sky will take us
Despite what we go through
You can't run, you can't hide
You can't run, you can't hide
You can't run, baby, you can't hide
From my love"
I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I gotta get my man back before it's too late. I need him to see and know the new and improved Amber. The old me was lost, bitter, and seeking attention in all the wrong places. I'm not that girl anymore though. I'm ready to love him and be love foreal this time, the right way without all the games and lies. He just doesn't know that yet.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Daddy!!!" Xiamara jumped in his arms as soon as he opened the door, which I wasn't expecting since mama Jackie is always here when I drop her off.
"Hey princess!"
I watched as he scooped her up showering her with kisses. He looked me up and down with an attitude, then nodded his head towards me. I guess that's his way of speaking to me? I just said hi politely and gave him her book bag with all her toys and her favorite blanket.
"Um I'll be back to pick her up at 7."
"Alright. You can leave now. Bye." He said mugging tf outta me.
"Whatever man." I rolled my eyes.
I turned to walk away but then I heard him say something else that made me stop dead in my tracks.
"You looking a lil thick, by the way. Ass still fat asf, sitting perfect, just how I like it. You either pregnant by that nigga or still letting him hit..."
"No I'm not pregnant and I haven't talked to him in almost 6 months now. I ended all that for you. Because I love you and I want us to work this out, even though you've been being real disrespectful to me lately."
"I don't know why. I don't want your ass back. I mean, maybe we could fuck from time to time, but I'll never be in a relationship with you. Can't trust you. You been acting like a real hoe and I really don't even want my daughter around that shit." He shrugged. I can't believe he just said that shit in front of our daughter.
"I'ma go before I let you and your smart ass mouth ruin my day. Y'all have fun and be safe. Love you ladybug."
"Shit it's too late for that, I already got a kid with your lying ass. Just hope she don't turn out to be a hoe like her mama though. Ain't that right babygirl?"
I kept walking ignoring him, even though it hurt my feelings and I really wanted to beat his ass. He knew wtf I meant when I said be safe. I got in my car slamming the door and sped off. I really can't believe him. Like is he serious? And since when am I a hoe? We weren't even together when I was with August. And I would never say shit like that to him in front of our child. It makes me not even wanna bring her around him. But that would be selfish asf. I don't want my baby hurting because of me and my emotions.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Bitch what is this?" I took the Victoria's Secret bag from Ashley. I just know she did not.
I was helping her decorate her new apartment that she just moved into.
"A little welcome home gift from me, to you and your man."
"He's not my man and I don't think he ever will be again. He actually hates me and he's disrespectful asf, so that's a definite no go."
"Are we talking about the same Xiamarion? The same nigga that's been obsessed with you since the first day he saw you, hates you?"
"I'm serious. He actually said out his mouth that he doesn't even love me anymore. Oh, and as of today, I'm a hoe that he would like to fuck from time to time. And he said this in front of Xiamara, Ashley, like twice. I mean, I get that he's still very upset about me and August and lying to him, but I don't know how to take this shit. To hear the love of my life just talk down on me like that, it's heartbreaking. And even when he cheated I never told him I didn't love him anymore. That's deep for me."
"Awww. I thought I was gonna have another niece or nephew on the way soon, damn. I ain't know it was that bad between y'all now. And really called you a hoe? Like foreal came out and said it?"
"Yes. I'm not even that type of girl and he knows that. August was just there at a time when I was just lost and looking for love, that's all."
"But you have to admit you did actually like him too though. Like y'all had an actual relationship. So what now, you just giving up? You don't wanna be with him anymore?"
"I do, but I'ma keep my distance until things cool down. In his mind, it hasn't been 5 months, it's just like the next day to him. And all he sees is me in the bed with August right now."
"He'll come around. Hopefully sooner than later cause I don't wanna have to beat his ass about my little sister now. He can be mad and hurt all he wants but he's not finna disrespect you and call you all type of hoes like it's nothing. Especially in front of Xiamara. She doesn't need to see or hear that shit."
"I'm not gonna let you do that anyways though. Xiamarion does what he wants to do, so I really can't change his mind right now. All I can do is let him be mad and have whatever feelings he has towards me, until he gets over it or I find a way to fix this between us. At least to where we can hold a conversation without wanting to cuss each other out."
"Ouuu, I might have an idea."
"I'm listening. It better not be nothing stupid either. Cause sex ain't the answer right now." I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Girl no. His birthday is in 2 weeks. You could throw him a big surprise party. Invite all his friends from the industry and stuff and you can have them ice sculptures he likes with his Hollywood ass. Something to show him you still care despite all the problems y'all have." She hung some artwork on the wall.
"That's a good idea, I knew you was smart for something. But do you really think I'll be able to pull it off. And how I'ma even get him to come. He literally hates me right now. I don't even think he can stand to be in the same room with me for long. Today was literally the most he's seen me or said anything to me, and it was nothing good. So what makes you think he'll even show up?"
"That's where Mama Jackie comes in. She can make that nigga do just about anything-."
"Except talk to me with some decency. But continue."
"I said almost. But anyways, me and mama can help you plan the whole thing. It's gonna be perfect. He's gonna love it and he's gonna realize how much he still loves you and how much y'all deserve each other. And then you two are gonna get back together and have your perfect little family again."
"Maybe, let's just take baby steps right now. Let's just finish decorating this apartment then focus on this idea of a surprise party. And here, I don't think I'll be needing this." I tried to hand her the bag back.
"Oh bitch you wearing this shit. Just put it up in your closet. That can be his birthday special from you." She winked at me.
"Mhm, we'll see. If it's still in my closet collecting dust by next month, I'm giving it right back to you."
"By next month I bet it's gon be torn up from him literally tearing it off your body. Watch."
"Whatever man. That ain't gon be happening no time soon, I promise you." I rolled my eyes at her craziness.
"You say that now, but just watch. Y'all gon back together and stuck like glue."
"I wish I had the voices in my head telling me that like you. Must be nice to actually believe that shit. Cause from my point of view, it's gon take a damn miracle for that man to forgive me. I mean, I literally crushed his entire heart."
"Amber y'all did it to each other. And you have to show him that you've changed and stop doubting yourself boo. Let him sort through whatever issues he has with you on his own. Just do your part and at least try. That's all I'm saying."
"Well, I kinda wrote a song about him lastnight. Before he pissed me off today, I was gonna go to the studio and record it. I might still do it though. Once I get out my feelings though cause right me he got me tight."
"You should do that. Then you could play it at his party and y'all can be all lovey dovey and shit."
"Okay bye."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I sat outside of Xiamarion's house just wasting time. Mama Jackie had called me and told me that she was on here way back to Texas now. So that left me stuck to deal with Xiamarion's attitude by myself. I just cried on the phone and tried to convince her to come back, it didn't work though.
She said that we had to deal with our problems on our own like grown adults and stop all the fussing, but she would help out with the party and stuff. I just don't see how me and him will ever see eye to eye again. He's never really been the forgiving type. Once you fuck him over, that's it.
I finally got out the car and went to knock on the door. I don't even use my key anymore. He came to open it after a few moments, but guess who was behind him? In some damn hoochie outfit?! Chyna bitch!! I immediately went into defense mode because I could've sworn I told him not to have her around my child.
"Xiamara come on, your mama here!"
"Xiamarion, what is this man?" I looked up at him.
"What you talking about?"
"Her. Why is she here? While my child is here?"
"She's my child too. And I ain't say shit when you had your little boyfriend, August, around her. So what the problem now?"
"That's different Xiamarion. You're just doing this to make me mad. This bitch right here has disrespected me too many times and I refuse to have my child around somebody like her. And she needs to go out some fucking clothes on. That's the example you want our daughter to follow, really?!"
"Bitch you just mad your fat ass can't walk around like this. And your child actually likes this bitch right here, hoe. Everything was going just fine until you showed up. We were watching movies and baking cookies, as a family. Something you probably wouldn't know about right? Can't keep your legs closed I hear."
"Where's my daughter, Xiamrion before I have to kill you and your girlfriend." I had tears in my eyes, that's just how pissed I was.
"She's getting her cookies. She coming, chill."
How tf is this niggas so calm right now?
"Maybe I should go help her. She needs a real mother figure in her life anyways."
Next thing I know, I was pushing past him and beating this hoe ass. I was just throwing punch after punch. She pulled my hair tryna gain control and him me back, but I wasn't letting up. All I seen was red and her face. I couldn't even pay attention to the fact that my baby was literally screaming and crying trying to get to me while Xiamrion tried to get me off of her.
"AMBER STOP! I'M SORRY MAN, STOP!!"
I ignored him and kept hitting this bitch until I got tired. He finally got a hold around my waist and pulled my off of her. She was on the floor crying and screaming about how her he finna call the cops and press charges. I was still tryna fight that bitch regardless though.
Xiamarion me into the living room and made me sit down while he went to got tend to her ass. He came back after about 5 minuets looking shook asf with a damn water bottle in his hand tryna give it to me. I looked at this nigga like if you don't get tf on.
"Look I'm sorry. She's gone now okay. I ain't know all that shit was gon happen."
"Well what the fuck did you think was gon happen? We was gon be holding hands and singing kumbaya? Hell no!!"
"I just thought you was gon be mad and take Xiamara home."
"Whatever. I'm ready to go. Where's my child?"
"She's upstairs in her room. And I'm not finna let you leave."
"Xiamarion what do you want? Cause before you was just saying how much you don't love me no more and how I'm a hoe, so what is it?!"
"I was mad okay. I ain't never have to deal with you fucking anybody else before and when you did, that shit devastated me. I always knew you would never let another man have what belonged to me, so I wasn't worried. But when I saw you laying up in bed kissing that August nigga, I lost my shit. You was always mines, even when we weren't together. And for you to let another nigga have what belonged to me, I just felt disrespected. And not only that, you lied to me. Had me believing we was gon be a family and shit, but you had a whole ass relationship with that nigga."
"Okay and I apologized a million times. I didn't mean for that to happen and I never meant to hurt you. And bringing him around Xiamara without your knowledge was wrong, but he loved me and he would've never did anything to hurt her. Chyna on the hand doesn't like me and would do some spiteful shit to our daughter just to get at me. And I would never allow that to go down, ever."
"Well look, I'm sorry for calling you a hoe and all that. But I still can't get over this shit Amber. That shit hurt me to my core man. I heard every word you said when I was in my coma, but your words don't really mean shit to me right now. Like you always telling me, I need to see it. Otherwise, anything you say to me is a lie."
"Typical Xiamarion. Then why tf am still sitting here for?"
"Cause I'm not letting you go home like that. And I want my daughter around me 24/7 cause who knows what could happen."
"So what does mean?"
"I think you should just move in."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Comment/Vote
This chapter was an intense one. Took me forever to write.
Obviously Xiamarion was wrong about what he said to Amber, but how y'all feel about it? Agree? Disagree? 🧐
Is Ashley's plan gonna work?? 🤫🤔
She Amber just doubt herself and her & Xiamarion's love like that?? 🤭🤔
Will Amber be able to deal with Xiamarion without mama Jackie ring there to keep him in check?? 😫
Now this bitch Chyna done came back up...AND GOT THAT ASS BEAT!!! 🤣🤣
Was Amber wrong for fighting her? Or even getting mad for that matter?? 🙁🤔
Does Xiamarion need his ass beat too?? Jkjk 😂😂
How y'all feel about him letting Chyna be around Xiamara?? Was he just being spiteful or they got something going on?? 🙃🤨
Is it the same for when Amber was with August?? 😕🤔🤔
So after saying all that....Xiamarion wants Amber to move in?? 👀😶
Should she move in with him? Or stay at home with just her and Xiamara?? 🤔🤔🤔
Thanks for reading and showing love!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💗🖤