Notes:
Additional Cast:
Nick Zano as Alex Summers
Margot Robbie as Susan
Sophie's POV
Sunday
I could see the hurt in her eyes the moment I finished my sentence, but my anger and fear got the best of me, and I just couldn't stop. She left and I don't blame her... I would have left too. I hear Joss's voice, offering her to drive her home and then the door shut, letting silence fill the room, as I stand still in my room replaying the scene over and over again in my head. I am not a person that can deal with emotions logically, not like she does, I am more blatant and forward, acting first and think later.. more like destroying first and think later... So now is the time that my head cooperates.. better late than never, right?
But first things first... I will pull probably the lamest move ever and call my mother to find out if my little brother outed her... Kudos for being brave, Soph... I am such a fucking coward.
I grab my phone and call my mother and as the conversation progresses, with me trembling uncontrollably, waiting for her to ask me about Robin, the only thing I get is how amazing Robin was and how much fun Ben had with her and that Robin is invited for a Sunday dinner soon, and I laugh at myself once again because they could tell what an amazing person she is, while I acted like that. As the phone call ends and my fear subsides, my brain allows me now to feel the long due hurt and the feeling breaks me. I have never felt like that before.. so helpless... I have no idea how to describe what I feel, I just know what I feel and that, to put it simply, is lost.
I don't know how much time has passed when I hear the door open, signaling Joss' return. I take a deep breath, wondering how to proceed with things when my door opens abruptly.
I raise my head and I see Joss standing at the doorstep giving me a judgemental look. "You know you acted like a bitch, right?" he says not moving and arms crossed. But he is being honest and that's what I need to hear right now.
"I know... I complicate things." I murmur but I know he heard me.
"But you still don't do anything about it" he says and I think his eyes will open a hole through my head.
"Like what? Tell my parents?You know I can't do that right now, Joss!" I raise my voice getting up and start pacing the room.
"I didn't tell you that! But don't diminish her! She's your girlfriend and she needs to know that you're not ashamed of her!" he yells, coming towards me, and his words hit me hard.
"That's what she thinks?" I ask afraid of his answer.. he stops and stays silent for a few moments, and then, clearly less judgmental he gives me his answer.
"I believe it would be better to have a conversation with her. She's no psychic to know what's happening in this head of yours, so tell her what's bothering you and why you acted like that. She's not Yoda to know everything that's going on in the galaxy." He smirks approaching me again and then puts his hands on my shoulder, while lowering himself so his face is on the same level as mine.
"You will never be serious, will you?" I say giving him a momentary smile. He is such a guy sometimes!
"Not even in a thousand years." He says and then he smiles as he puts his arms around me, closing me in a tender hug. "The psychological support and advice cost the laundry and the dishwashing of the month." I laugh squeezing him back. We stay like that for a while while thoughts race through my mind like crazy. I raise my head and look at him.
"If I ask you a question, will you be 100% honest with me?" I ask.
"You know I always am." he replies, looking serious.
"This is mostly my fault, isn't it?" I ask but I already know the truth .
"I am afraid yes. But it's nothing you can't fix." He winks at me and then pats my back, before he carries himself out of the door, leaving me alone again.
He confirmed what I already knew, that I overreacted and that my last sentence was a low blow, but I never thought Robin would think I invalide what we have... That I am ashamed of her? That sparks the weekend's memories and as I replay the movie in my head I can pinpoint the discrete change in Robin's face the times I called her "friend", over the weekend. To my mother.. to Ben..to some acquaintances in the park on Saturday... I pace around the room again, dragging my hand through my hair and releasing long breaths as I get my thoughts straight. Twohours of pacing later, here's what I got so far:
I reacted spontaneously without realising that it wasn't really the outing to my brother that bothered me, not really, and that all the things I said, backpedaled all the progress I had made all these months with Robin. I snapped at her for not being ashamed of who she is, while I freak out everytime people stare at us together. I now realize I am jealous of her because I don't find that strength in me yet...
As for Robin... I can't possibly imagine how she feels right now, if she is more angry than hurt, more reasonable than irracional or more understanding than hateful. The truth is this: my fear of my secret being exposed and the anxiety mixed with, as I now see, unreasonable anger, hurt the person I love the most, and I need to fix it. ASAP, because, after 5 months of dating, spending my every free time with her, I got to the point where I can guess pretty well what she is thinking about and what her reactions will be to certain things, so I am certain that she blames herself for this... That her inner conflict to respect my wish and stay true to herself has been hurting her all alone, and for that, there is only one person to blame...
How do I apologize? Should I call or text her? nahhh... I shouldn't apologize via phone to my girlfriend..no.. but how do I face her? What if she is super angry and doesn't want to see me? Even worse... What if she doesn't forgive me? What if she wants to break up because of what I said? Oh God.. was that a break up?
At this thought I grab my phone to call her but her phone was switched off! She never does that... I start panicking, biting my nails, thinking that I should go to her place to talk to her, or maybe call her uncle? What if she told him what happened and he is mad at me as well? Ok ok, Soph, maybe going there is not wise right now... The only thing I can do right now is give her space and apologize tomorrow at class...
Drained and tired, emotionally and physically, I lay curled up in my bed, and close my eyes to dream of her and her beautiful blue eyes that always looked at me with love... But tonight I dream of her angry.. lifeless.. hurt.. and with blue eyes filled with tears.
***************************************************************************************
Monday
I peek at my watch every other minute, eyes hooked at the door as students fill the class, all of them except Ro... I tried calling her but her phone was deactivated so I sticked with texts.They went like this : I am sorry. I love you. Please don't be mad.
All 20 texts went pretty much like that. I turn my attention to the class to see the professor talking and I don't even remember him entering the class. Soon the class is empty while people one by one leaves the room and I do too, throwing away the her favorite coffee along with my I AM SORRY post-it on it.
Late afternoon I talked to the girls about it. They feed me chocolate saying it's the right food for the after-fight mood and gave me their opinions. Vanessa was sweet as always, and positive that we will be fine if I apologize, while Alice kept things grounded telling me I was at fault and I needed to make a grand gesture to make her forgive me...
I spent the rest of my day thinking of what to do and how to apologize while I kept calling her, but to no avail, she never picked up, which made me sadder than ever. I was listening to music dozing off when my phone vibrated and startled I opened the message app hoping it was a message from Ro, but the name I saw made my blood run cold.
From Sam: Get off your high horse and fix this.
Hmm, sweet as always. I swallowed hard staring at the phone. Great, Sam dislikes me again. At least she was exceptionally polite.
Robin's POV
I spent my Monday in, watching tv and talking with my uncle about it. His input what the following : 'when you get mad about something someone did to you, remember all the good things they did to you as well. We are all human and we make mistakes.' He should have been a psychologist or a love guru.
Sam's input on the other was this and I quote : "I told ya from the beginning she was trouble. Do you want me to kick her ass?" She earned a smack on her head. Nicky's was this: "I am sure she will apologise, she made a mistake and she feels sorry. I know you love each other, so don't hold a grudge." Yeah, Nicky earned a hug from me and an eyeroll from Sam.
I had been getting messages from her all day and I felt bad for ignoring her but I need my space. I've been thinking since last night, weighting possibilities. If she really feels ashamed, then why are we together? And now that we pointed the elephant in the room, what's gonna happen? She goes back to the closet until another fight breaks? She comes clean? Uhhhhhhhhh, my head hurts. I do know this though: once a subjects causes a fight, if not dealt, things are bound to get bad till you either make it or break it.
***************************************************************************************
Tuesday
I got up more tired than I was last night. I don't bother getting dressed because I don't feel like going to class again today, but I do make my way to the kitchen because I am starving as hell. I can hear my uncle speaking as I make my way down stairs wondering who is he on the phone with, at 8: 17... As I enter the kitchen area, I stop abruptly. My uncle is facing me with a sweet smile while Sophie is next to him, eyes looking at the floor.
"Well, that's my cue to go." He says and leaves the house for his shift. I stay on my spot not moving while Sophie is playing with her fingers, her nervous tick. We make eye contact before she speaks.
"I wanted to bring this to bed. You beat me to it." She mentions the tray on the kitchen table. There is a plate with scrambled eggs, a glass of juice and a single blue rose."I also got you your favorite cookie, I even made the employee write I AM SORRY on it." She brings the cookie in view... I keep being silent for some reason. "I am sorry." She murmurs and her eyes water. We lock eyes again and at the sight of her tears, my cold demeanor flatters. She sees it in my eyes too, that's why she runs and hugs me, laying her head on my shoulder, staining my flesh with tears, and I hug her back squeezing her as well. I missed her so much...
We stay there for what seems like hours holding each other for dear life, breathing in each other's scent. "I am so sorry, baby, I never meant to say that... I love you so much..." She cries clinging to me, cutting my breath sort. I think I will have bruises on my ribs by tomorrow. I finally find it in me to speak.
"Shhh... It's ok... Stop crying, Soph, please..." I whisper in her ear and then I kiss her hair. She lifts her head looking at me like a kicked puppy and I wipe her tears with my thumb.
She cups my face and she speaks again, voice hoarse from crying "I am not ashamed of you, I got scared and...God... I am so stupid... I love you... I..."
I drag my thumb from her cheek to her lips shushing her while my other hand puts a lock behind her ear. "I know..shhh... Let's forget about it, ok? Like it never happened." I say tired from all this... I don't want to continue this because it hurts not talking to each other. I still feel a bit bitter though, but that's how I process things... It's gonna go away in like a day or two, and I tell her so.
"What you said hurt me, but I will get over it, I might act distant for a few days, but that's how I process things ok?" She nods.
"Can I kiss you?" Her question surprised me but I nod yes. She leans in to give me a kiss but my lips don't move nor my eyes close. She senses my distance and she moves away tearing up again but I grab her waist keeping her close and I kiss her forehead.
"Let's go take a nap, ok?" I ask because she looks as exhausted as I do. She takes my hand and moments later we lay in silence as I spoon her. I doze off after I hear her say 'I love you' one more time and just like the previous times I don't say it back.
Vanessa's POV
I just got out of my last class for the day. The truth is yes, Interactive Narratives might be my favorite lesson this semester but I couldn't concentrate as much as I wanted during the lecture. Since Friday night and the disqualification of our basketball team, I can't help but think of Nathan. Well, to speak the truth again, I have been thinking about him since his late night visit at the dorms a couple weeks ago. Okay, that is not exactly 100% accurate because he has been in my thoughts way before that, but what I mean is that now I think about him even more than I used to. Besides the butterflies I feel in my stomach everytime he smiles at me or the goosebumps I feel everytime he touches my skin, there is also this worry that consumes me during the day that is difficult to ignore. He is having a lot in his plate right now with his family and with his mom. He is putting a brave face so nobody suspects a thing but I do know that this little something has really got him bad. I do know because he has let me know. I am sad about this misfortunate family situation of his,but at the same time I am happy too, since he decided to share it with me. The least I can do is try my best to help him and be there for him. Especially now that his team got disqualified. I have seen how much effort he puts in every game and it is obvious that he loves basketball. At such a time, when he desperately needs something to keep his mind off, it is an undeniable shame that they lost and that the team is not going to play again this season. The last game was on Friday and I went with Alice and Nina. The whole team fought really hard but unfortunately that didn't lead them to the desirable result. They really deserved to win, I was hoping the tables will turn around even at the last second but they did not. Everybody seemed disappointed, from the fans to the team itself. Alice had the same opinion on talking to somebody who just lost as the guys from the paper; there is no point and you will definitely make things worse. I guess she was right. They didn't just lose a game but actually the chance on winning the championship. I kept it simple to a text, just telling Nathan he did great and that they will do their best next year. I don't know if it was ideal but I have no clue what to say when it comes to sports. Anyway, it took him two days to text me back so I think he might not be really cheery. I am not letting this be though. He did open to me and it did mean a lot, so I have to do something. I was precisely thinking about what is the right thing to do during the last 40 minutes of Interactive Narratives, which is why I have to ask Clarissa for notes tomorrow. Anyway, I think I came up with the best idea but I am going to need help.
I pick up my phone and call just the right person.
"Hey Ness! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Joseph picks up the phone after 2 rings.
"Hi Joseph! How are you?" I greet him joyfully.
"Pretty good! I just left from mr. Roberts' lab. You?" he asks.
"I just finished with my classes too for the day." I tell him as I make my way in the crowded hallway. "Are you still on campus? Can we meet?"
"I can always find some time on my busy schedule for you, sweet Vanessa." He answers playfully.
"I am kinda honored." I giggle. "Have you come here by car?"
"Always! Do you want me to pick you up?" He asks.
"Not exactly. I'll meet at your car. I am at the west side of the campus right now so it won't take me long to come over the parking. See you in a bit?" I ask after finally getting out of the building.
"Yeah sure! See you in a bit!" he says a bit puzzled and he hangs up.
So far so good! I hope Joseph is in for this. I believe he will be. I arrive at the parking spot and wait for him by his car. It doesn't take him long either to show up, smiling and with his significant look, jeans and a black jacket.
"Hey Ness! Always looking good! So what's up?" He asks passing his hand through his hair.
"Hello again Joseph! Well, in person this time." I greet him back grinning. "I hope I am not keeping you from anything. I know it was really last-minute, I do appreciate you coming right away."
"Don't worry! Just tell me, what's going on?" He asks impatiently.
"Well, I was thinking we should arrange a group meeting!" I announce to him excited standing on my toes. "I believe gathering everybody will cheer up the mood of our common friend! The team fought so hard, they so deserved to win, it's such a shame that the season is on but they won't be playing anymore, isn't it?"
"It sucks big time! They had the potential, but only if it wasn't for this fucking shity game with the Reapers!" Joseph exclaims disappointed. "Anyway, I believe you're right! A good gathering with booze it will definitely cheer them up." He smirks.
"I wasn't exactly thinking of booze but um, yeah, we can stick to the gathering idea for starters." Nathan and alcohol cannot be combined, I do know that well. "So, you think Nathan will like this idea of ours?" I ask him anxious.
"Yeah! Nathan likes our small gang and since it's you the one who's organising it, there's no chance he would say no." He smiles mischievously.
"You think so? Great! That's really great!" I say clapping my hands. "Let's go drag him out of that frat house, I bet he is just laying there doing nothing. Can you unlock the car?" I ask him beaming pointing at the passenger's door.
"No, it's beyond my abilities." He says seriously and I gawk for a second and then I understand he's joking. "Get in!" He smiles, tapping my head and he unlocks the door.
"I am so enthusiastic about this mission of ours!" I tell him while putting my seatbelt on. "He must likely be at the ΚΕΓ house, right? Vincent told us yesterday that not a single person from the team has showed up at campus after the loss. Apparently, they are still trying to accept the disqualification."
"It's hard to process it. We were expecting to be at least on the finals this year and now we left with nothing. If it's frustrating for the fans, imagine how the players must feel. I propose to call him first in case...." he gives me a look with the corner of his eye, "Just in case!" he says sharply.
"Okay." I smile at him gesturing to make the phonecall.
"It's turned off!" he sighs. "I guess he's sick of hearing the condolences."
"Sounds like him." I can so picture Nathan staring at the ceiling feeling angry and guilty for himself not only for last game's outcome but about his family situation as well. "I hope he likes our idea, he can really use some friends right now. With everything going on."
"Special friends." Joseph remarks smirking.
"Yeah." I say nodding. Wait. What? "What?" I exclaim raising my eyebrows at him.
"What?" he repeats my word with a casual attitude.
"What..." I look at him confused and frowning. "Nothing." I shake my head fast and decide to drive the conversation elsewhere. How does he know about that though? I believed it was something between me and Nathan. Maybe he had told Joseph about it. Wait, he talks to Joseph about me? Or was it a one time thing? Or was it simply mentioned as they were talking? "Um..." I should come up with something but I fight really hard my urge to not ask Joseph about it. "I haven't seen you in a while, what's up? You know, like in general." I ask waving my hands. "What is the latest in Joseph Nelson's life?"
"What can I share about my fascinating life?" He grins. "Let's see... I thank God everyday that Sophie found Robin and she isn't home that much anymore." He jokes laughing. "The project with mr. Roberts is going great. We had some problems, but they are solved now... Other than that things are the same. Classes, nights out and stuff."
"Oh, yeah! You sounded really thrilled about this project! I am glad you overpassed this kind of difficulties you had. It means a lot that you are a part of such a project, Joseph! Well done! You should be really proud of yourself! You have accomplished something quite exceptional! Your parents must be really proud too! And Dan!" I congratulate him smiling. "It is also remarkable that you still manage to attend your classes and have fun with your friends as well. As for Sophie and Robin, they are adorable, aren't they?"
"If you don't stress out, Ness, everything works perfectly fine! And adorable doesn't exist as a word in my dictionary! Now that I think about it there isn't a good word to describe a relationship, but since Sophie is happy that works for me!" Joseph says as he keeps driving.
"They are the definition of adorable, you should update your dictionary then!" He lifts his eyebrows at me and I end up chortling.
"Have you informed team Robie about the gathering or not? Alice as well?" he asks.
"Not yet. We can do that later. I believe they will be willing to do this. Alice has no classes today. She will probably be with Nina. If she is not with Matt. Or hit the gym. She has this perfect body but she insists she has to stay in shape. I don't quite get it since if I had gone to the gym as many times as she has, I wouldn't exercise for the rest of my life." I remark shrugging.
"If she likes it, just let her go! It helps get off some steam! And it's better to do it there than on people!" He jokes and I chortle. That's Alice, always ready to pick up a fight. Then he ticks tock the wheel, musing before he speaks again. "How is she?" His face looks serious and a bit concerned.
"Good?" I look at him confused. "I haven't noticed anything out of usual which means she is still my lovable roommate trying to catch up on projects' deadlines, making sarcastic comments on her professors but still staying up all night to be precise to her responsibilities while in the meantime she manages to still have time to go out and have fun with a God knows who! Alice knows so many people! I hardly know the half of them!"
"Go out and have fun with friends I assume..." Joseph says looking at the road, tightening his grip on the wheel.
"Yes! She is well known for her sociability! Oh! I hope Sophie and Robin will be willing to participate today! Do you know where they are?"
"I bet in Robin's house!" He states. "Here's the frat house." Joseph announces and he pulls over.
We get out of the car and march over the ΚΕΓ house. This building seems so much bigger in the daylight. I wait at the front door for us to knock but Joseph opens the door with a smirk and nods his head for me to follow. I don't think it is a safe choice to keep it unlocked but I guess it is practical since a lot of people come in and out of the house everyday. Joseph greets friendly some guys at the living room as I stand behind him awkwardly and after a tall blond guy informs us that Nathan is probably upstairs, we climb the stairs to the first floor. I walk over to Nathan's room first and Joseph rushes to reach me.
"I think we should knock!" Joseph informs me. "You know as guys we have the tendency to walk around with our boxers in our rooms." He smirks and I immediately look down sure his words have made my cheeks blush.
"I just thought, um.. Since you didn't knock downstairs, you wouldn't, um, anyway, yeah, we should knock." I tell him nodding my head a couple times. He raises an eyebrow at me playfully and points at the door gesturing to me to go ahead. "Okay then." I sigh and knock on the door twice. We wait for some seconds but nobody answers. I look at Joseph waiting for more informations on what is the ritual during knocking on a guy's bedroom's door.
"I should better do it because there is no chance he heard that weak knock. Hasn't Alice taught you anything?" He jokes and he knocks much louder than I did.
"Okay, I won't argue. There is no chance he didn't hear that!" I tell him giggling.
And then the door opens.
And I stop giggling.
Because it is not Nathan.
A blond girl wearing nothing but a black t-shirt is standing in front of us. The t-shirt barely covers the places it should cover since it reaches the top of her thighs. She looks at us with sleepy eyes passing her hand through her untied hair.
"Can I help you?" She asks.
"Hey Susan!" Joseph greets her, checking her out from head to toes. "Is Nathan inside? I hope we didn't interrupt anything!" He says in a steady and playful voice. Susan, yes. My brain makes the connection now after the first shock. I know who this girl is.
"Well, if I was alone, it would be no fun, right?" She answers with a cocky smile. "Don't you worry, we were just sleeping. Now. It was an exhausting night." She says yawning and stretches her hand while lifting her t-shirt some inches up further.
"I can figure..." Joseph says grinning mischievously, while his eyes have widen instantly. "So are you done with all the sex positions or do you have some left?" He smirks sarcastically.
"I would say that it shouldn't trouble you. We have creative minds, Nathan and I." She states and supports her head on the doorway. "Hey there." She smiles at me, acknowledging my presence. "It is Vanessa, right?"
I nod my head as an answer with eyes wide open. It is natural for me to remember her but for her to remember me? I didn't expect that. She is who she is and I am just nobody compared to her.
"You're cute." She tells me chuckling. I can so picture myself right now. I must be redder than a dozen of tomatoes.
"Who's cute?" A voice comes from the inside of the room.
Don't. Please, don't come out.
Unfortunately, Nathan appears after some seconds with messy hair pulling abruptly a t-shirt to cover his naked torso. I guess Joseph was right. He must have been in his boxers since they are the only thing he is wearing now along with the t-shirt. Susan makes some room at the doorway for him to see us. His eyes first fall on me giving me a questioning look and then at Joseph.
"Seems like we have some company." Susan informs him smirking.
"Not just any company! The best company you could ever wish for!"Joseph jokes and I wonder how he can have such a casual and playful attitude. I also wonder if what he just said could hide another meaning, as sexual meaning. Oh my God, we practically caught them doing a God knows what!
"What are you guys doing here?" Nathan apparently asks us but looks only at me. I turn my head towards Joseph giving him a pleading glance. I hope he can do the talking. I am incapable of talking right now. It is a miracle how I am still standing and breathing.
"Nate, sorry to disturb you, but your special friend here had an idea." I gulp. Joseph did me the favor to speak but practically managed to make things worst. Nathan lifts his eyebrows at him surprised. I don't know if it is because of the fact that the idea was mine or because of the way Joseph referred to me. "She proposed to gather all together and-"
"I didn't!" I exclaim and everybody turns to look at me.
"Anyway... The idea is to gather all and cheer you up, although Suzan beat us to it." He says with a mischievous attitude.
"I tried my best." Susan winks at Nathan and hooks her hands around his waist embracing him. Nathan's posture stiffens but he doesn't jerk away.
"I think we should go." I murmur fast looking down and grab Joseph's sleeve.
"What did you say, sweetie?" Susan asks confused. I mustn't have made myself clear. I raise my head up to see her big blue eyes staring at me as she keeps her head on Nathan's shoulder.
"You should go, yeah. I'll call you. Thanks for passing by." Nathan suggests saving me from the unfortunate situation I found myself in. I thought Joseph would do that but seems like I have to thank Nathan for it. He looks at Joseph intensely and then at me from the corner of his eyes. And then he looks back at Joseph.
"Ok man! Have fun!" Joseph winks at him. "Bye Susan!" He nods towards her.
"Bye guys!" Susan raises her one hand to wave at us while keeping her other one around Nathan who stands still and looks at me for one last time. He half opens his mouth but no sound comes out. I don't know if he wanted to say something and I honestly don't want to stay to find out. I think I have embarrassed myself enough for a year. I nod my head trying to smile and hurry to the stairs with Joseph following me.
"That's why his phone was off. I had a suspicion to be honest..." He says casually, when we get out and he reaches me as I stop to take a breath.
"Well, why didn't you say it?" I ask him raising my hands up in question.
"Because it was just one possibility. Anyway, they were just sleeping, so we didn't interrupt them in the action. It sucks being cockblocked." Joseph remarks, like he's talking about the weather.
"If you have mentioned it, maybe we wouldn't have come all this way in vain!" My tone is louder than how I intended it to be. I go by Joseph car and wait for him to unlock it.
"Are you sure that's the reason?" He asks facing me. His hazel eyes are scanning me.
"Don't you think it was just all for nothing?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "And can you unlock it?" I point at the car annoyed.
"Yeah Ness, just calm! What happened out of the blue? We didn't commit any crime." He points out, unlocking the car.
I shake my head in disapproval and jump at the passenger's seat after leaving a sigh.
"Just spit it, Ness!" He turns his head to me when he sits next to me.
"You want me to spiti it? Okay, I'll spit it! Don't you think we made a fool out of ourselves?" I turn my whole body to face him as well.
"No! Why? Do you know how many times Matt, Grant or even Sophie had popped up to me like that? It's not a big deal. Nathan will give us a call sooner or later, so relax." He pauses for a second. "I go with later, because you don't let your hands that easily off a woman like that." He smirks.
I turn around and fasten my seatbelt waiting for him to start driving. A woman like that. Of course, Joseph is right. I know he is right but this doesn't ease the rage I am feeling inside. Me feeling rage? I didn't know I was capable of that. And I don't know why I feel this way. I mean, what did I expect? That because Nathan told me a few things and we stayed until the dawn together once and we have been exchanging some texts since then, things have changed somehow? Joseph might not be a fool but I definitely am. Even if I know how things are, it doesn't stop me from daydreaming.
"So where do you want me to drop you? Are you in the mood to grab a bite? You know Alice comes back from the dark side with chocolate." He beams. "What does Vanessa Adams like?"
"I'm okay with you dropping me at campus. I have already eaten." I lie. I have no appetite. "I'll just go home. I have to study. Thanks, Joseph." I try to give him a smile while rubbing my temples. My head is killing me.
"Too bad! Your prestige will hit the top if you'll be seeing with me." He jokes and he taps my head.
"I guess you're right." A weak laugh escapes my lips. "I am sorry for wasting your time like this. I am sure you had better things to do."
"Don't worry, Vanessa! It's always a pleasure seeing your pretty face!" He says to me in a sweet tone, like he's addressing to his younger sister.
"It's always a pleasure seeing you as well. It's a good thing we didn't say a thing to the others. We would have bothered.them for no reason." I remark biting my bottom lip. I hope this ride reaches its destination fast because I can feel my eyes burning from the inside, sign that the tears are about to come.
"Vanessa, you worry too much about too many things! Just try to chill a bit!" Joseph smiles to me, while he's driving.
"Yeah, I guess." I say faintly and lean my head against the window. "Joseph?" I ask him after some seconds.
"Tell me!" He answers in a steady voice.
"You think,um... Never mind, it's not important." I say regretting making the question.
"Ness, I see something is bothering you since the time we left the frat house, although I am not talking about it. Maybe I am not the best option for a girl talk... Well I suck at girl talk, but I am your friend too and you can trust me." Joseph says.
"It's not about girl talk." I sit up and look at him anxiously while he keeps his eyes on the road. "If it was you, would it mean anything to you what we just did? Would it... Would it make you happy? I don't know, um, happier?"
"What do you mean? Cockblocked me? Happier? I guess no!" Hr jokes cracking a smile. "Although it wasn't a cockblocking exactly, but the answer is still no." His smile becomes wider.
"No." I rest my head on the seat sighing. "I meant-"
"I know what you meant! I was just messing with you!" He grins playfully and then adds seriously. "Yeah, it would! Everybody loves having people around them who care for them."
"You think it would mean something to Nathan too?" I ask what I truly wanted to know in the first place.
"Of course!" He replies beaming.
"I hope so. Sometimes I just can't tell what is going on with him. And he needs people to support him. I want him to know we are here for that." I say and tuck a strand behind my ear.
"Don't worry he knows that! And he will call." He reassures me as he pulls over. "Go now and tell Alice to cheer you up! She's good at this! Watch one of these shitty vampire shows she has told me about." He smirks.
"I will!" I say chortling as I pop out of the car. "And Joseph," I tell him before I close the passenger's door, "thank you."
"Don't mention it!" He winks at me. "Also say hi to Alice from me!" He beams.
"Okay! Bye!" I wave at him closing the door. Somehow I feel kinda better.
Alice's POV
Damn it! This project is so getting on my nerves! The subject is so generic and stupid! I wonder what the professor was thinking when he posted it. Not that the professor is on his right minds, but anyway. Arrgh! I can't keep wasting more time on this. It's causing me a freaking headache and it pisses me off. I know what I should do to take out all this exasperation. I'll hit the gym! What a better way to get off some steam, by kicking the punching bag. I get ready really quickly and I leave the dorms in an instant.
As I am driving to the gym, my mind goes back to the day that I was the definition of a wreck and of course to what else... Joseph! I have to admit that if it wasn't him, I would be a mess the whole week, not to say until the end of the month, but thanks to him I got back to be my usual self really quickly. He also sent me a message to check if I was ok the next day that I left his house, taking my mind off the Skype convo with Emma and we started texting since then.
The texts were mostly about interests and saying whatever stupid thing comes to our minds, but it made me feel like I was 16 again. I found myself giggling without a good reason, so I guess I go really downhill. The whole plan of forgetting Joseph and getting him out of my mind went to trash. I told Ren about the whole incident on my mother's death day and he really appreciated and praised Joseph for being there for me, but then he warned me to keep my eyes open, which I do, but why do I believe in this tiny chance that Joseph might have developed feelings for me? Why else would he say or do all these things? Even our texting branches off the friendly field and has become more flirting. Anyway, I shouldn't be on cloud nine, because with guys like Joseph you never know and I have no mood to bleed in love like Leona Lewis' song.
When I get to the gym, I go to the treadmill right away, where I run into Nathan. We talked a bit as we were running and it surprised me again how talkable he can be when he teases me, especially about Joseph. Like seriously, dude? You haven't got bored of it yet? When I finished warming up, I informed him that I will go upstairs to practise my punches and kicks, so I decided to catch up with him after exercising.
Joseph's POV
It's always a pleasure to my eyes to be at the gym. All the hot girls wear their tights, thus you can gaze at their well shaped asses wherever direction you look at. It's not my fault, but I can't help it. The view is too irresistible for me to ignore and it's no news that my defense is really weak towards hot girls with tights. Of course it gets better when I manage to take those girls' number or even better when I get a laid session in the changing rooms. Let's see how lucky I will be today.
After the treadmill, I head to the space with the weights, because it's back and biceps day, where I see Nathan.
"I didn't know throwing a basketball,required so much weight." I joke to him, observing how much he's lifting.
"I won't be throwing one in the near future since we did get disqualified, but a man has to always be prepared." Nathan says as he continues his exercise. "And you were just the one person I was hoping to see around." He raises an eyebrow at me.
"I am the person anyone wants to see." I smirk to him smugly.
"Yeah, I guess Alice would like to see you too. It sucks that she just missed you. I think I hit another nerve while teasing her and she went upstairs to give some punches to shake the tension off." Nathan says playfully. Alice is here? In the gym? Wearing tights? Oh man, that's a view I am dying to see.
"Alice's here?" I ask more excited than I should be.
"Are you deaf?" Nathan gives me an eyeroll. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about-"
"Catch up with me later, dude!" I tell him as I am turning my back to the training room in a rush,leaving a confused Nathan behind me.
I go upstairs in a hurry to see her. It's been awhile since the last time and I kind of missed her. I haven't realized how much I enjoy being with her, talking with her, making her laugh, watching how she reacts to everything I say. It's a nice chance to meet her now by surprising her, not from behind of course, remembering how she tossed me like a bag of potatoes. Make eye contact first, just to be safe.
And there she is, in the training room alone kicking and punching a bag with ferocity. She's the most wild and yet the most beautiful and hottest sight I have ever witnessed in my life. She's wearing black athletic tights, a black sports bra and hand wraps to protect her hands from the intense punching. I wonder how I manage to resist and not push her against a wall, with force and start kissing her whole body. She's an invitation to hell. She's fire and I want to get burnt! Her stomach is flat, in perfect shape with abs without being anti aesthetic, which makes me want to begin kissing her from there and bite this shiny belly button. It's so fucking hot. Then, her big boobs are bouncing up and down and I am holding myself not to gulp,while my eyes fall on her ass, which has no difference from a Victoria Secret's model. I think I need a cold shower to gather myself together.Her muscles tight everytime she makes a move and her ponytail waves animatedly. I want her so bad and I feel my erection coming to life. If she was another girl, I would totally pull my moves on her and we would be having sex, but this is not a usual girl. This is Alice... My moves don't work on her and that irritates me when the same time it fascinates me. Not to mention, something deep inside me doesn't think of Alice as a girl to have sex. It thinks of her as something more. Damn with this girl, messing with my thoughts.
"I bet you're imagining me as you're punching this." I remark with a smirk, the time I get next to her.
"Why? What did you do?" She asks me stopping at once, raising an eyebrow full of suspicion.
"I swear, nothing!" I raise my hands in a surrender position.
"That's rare, but good!" She smiles. "So what are you doing in the training room?" She rests her hands on her waist.
"I was informed that you were here, so I came to exercise with you." I pull on my puppy eyes.
"On martial arts?" Her expression is full of doubt.
"Yeah! Except if you're thinking something else..." I say with a mischievous smile.
"What? Me?"
"You were the one who asked. I don't know where your sinful mind runs to."
"I swear I wasn't thinking of you when I was punching this bag, but now I will definitely do. I would prefer to take it out on you, but you can put charges on me whereas this punchbag can't!" She snorts, but I know she finds this amusing way too much.
"That's why I want you to teach me, Electra, so I can protect myself from your raging moments." I go closer to her and my proposal surprises her. She muses over it a second, but she finally accepts.
"Let's go to the special mattresses over there, so you won't break anything." Her attitude is so cunning.
"You didn't think of that when you tossed me 2 months ago!"I complain, following her to the mattresses.
"I am thinking of it now, because I can't stand your grumble!" She stands opposite from me, face to face. "First self defense move. If someone catches you by the shirt like that." She decreases the distance between us and she catches my T-shirt and then she indicates to me to do the same. Oh fuck! Her smell is so intoxicating. "You catch your opponent's hand with your opposite and with the other you turn it around from the elbow." She does it with ease, so naturally. "And then you take his hand, turning it behind his waist, applying force to the wrist and while he's bending over from the pain, you kick his leg from behind with all the strength you've got!" She says and does a demonstration with me, without applying any strength. "Now do it!"
I do the move as she instructed me and she corrects me if I do anything wrong. As we keep going, she shows me more moves, but I have to say she goes really easy on me and it's boring. Let's spice things up and make them more interesting.
"This is all you've got?" I raise an eyebrow. "I guess you beated me, just out of pure luck and because I was unprepared..." I shrug.
Alice stops to look at me, like she couldn't believe in her ears. I've got her attention for good! Her whole expression screams 'Are you kidding me right now?' I wait for an outburst, but instead of that her attitude becomes cocky and smug and says.
"It's on!"
"As you wish!" I bow, stretching my hand.
"You go first." She says so smugly. I know where I am getting myself into, but I have a few aces hidden.
She thinks she can beat me with her eyes closed, which is true, but Alice doesn't know everything about me. My grandfather was a general and he insisted for me and Dan to learn some defensive techniques. He used to teach us every chance he got and we learned a few stuff. My grandfather was an amazing teacher. Even Dan can pull two moves without tripping. Of course I am not as near good as Alice, but I can deal with her if I catch her off guard, now that I am aware what I am waiting for or at least I hope.
So I make my move. As it was expected she laid me down in one move, but I will let her be complacent.
"Do you want more?" A smug smile spreads all over her face. I love all of her smiles, but this full of confidence is my favourite.
"That was a warm up! I just let you think you have the upper hand!" I shoot to her and I stand up.
"Since you enjoy having your ass beaten, who am I to disappoint you?" Her smugness almost reaches mine. Impressive.
This time she comes at me, but she doesn't treat me as a serious opponent as I expected, so this is my time to act. I have observed that her strong hand and leg is the right, so I should deceive her to hit me with her left and take advantage of that. I should misdirect her somehow.
Here she comes, she grabs me and...
"You're very sexy when you come at me like that!" I say with a flirty voice and Alice loses her focus at once. I take advantage of that small window and I manage to bring her down, with one of grandpa's James favourite moves. Alice is laid on the floor and me on top of her, our faces inches from each other. Our bodies attached and my hands pin hers to the ground above her head. It feels great to be on her like that. I look intensely at Alice, whose expression is astonished and shocked.
"That's cheating!" She complains, but she doesn't move.
"All's fair in love and war."
"Where did you learn this move?" She asks really astonished.
"Do you have to know everything? I have my secrets." I wink at her and the distance becomes smaller. Her body feels so amazing under mine. I can feel her breath on my face. Alice looks at me with her captivating eyes and she moves her legs slowly until they are wrapped around me. She bites her lip and I am going crazy. Her eyes invite me in. She wants it... now! I lean closer to her neck, but suddenly she spins me around and I am pushed down on the floor with her on me.
"Did you really think you had the upper hand?" She simpers.
"Playing dirty I see..." I answer back.
"As you've said, all's fair in love and war." Her eyes throw sparks to mine. Then, she stands up.
"So you don't mind me doing that!" I grab her by the hand and I bring her down again. For once again, I am on top of her. I block her both hands on both sides of her head. She tries to make a move to escape, but I don't let her. I am sure she can get rid of me pretty easily, but she doesn't. Actually she let me really easily to grab her like that. I feel like one of my fantasies is coming to life. Me on top of Alice.
"Do you have fun?" Alice asks me with an attitude that implies 'Enjoy it as it lasts.'
"You can't even imagine! I have restrained the famous Alice Reynolds! I think you're more of a brand, than..."
Suddenly she uses her legs and somehow she catches my body. I didn't even realise when her hands were released from mine and I am once again on the floor underneath her. Not that I mind... Her legs at each side and her chest on mine. Her hands restrain my hands as I did previously with hers. Her attitude is so cocky and smug. A mischievous smile is pinned on her face. My erection is pretty hard to hide right now, but I don't mind. This is her creation. I have to say I don't really mind the restrainment though, which is really weird as I like being the one who's in control, but seeing Alice like that makes me even hornier. I wish I had my hands free though to explore her body.
Suddenly, we hear someone clapping. We turn around and see Nathan standing with his back on the door enjoying the view.
"That is quite a show, you guys." He remarks with a smirk as he stops clapping.
Alice has frozen on top of me without moving staring at Nathan and me underneath her not knowing what to do. Like seriously, dude? Fucking seriously? This is the time that you decided to pop up?
"I see you don't mind having audience. Are you planning to stay like this for long?" He asks pointing at us with a mischievous smile, as me and Alice remain still, staring confused at him.
Alice stands up abruptly trying to maintain a poker face and I raise myself after her.
"Dude, what are you doing here?" I ask him, trying to hide my annoyance, but I am not sure if I managed that.
"Have you reserved the floor to yourselves? There wasn't any sign and I didn't know." He shrugs while barely holding himself from laughing.
"Don't tell me you got lost and magically found yourself here?" Alice speaks raising an eyebrow in a sarcastic attitude.
"Hey Alice." He raises his hand up to wave at her. "I see you've found your voice back."
"And I see you've found new ways to be annoying." She answers back.
"Oops. Someone is kind of tensed." He lifts his eyebrows playfully at her. "Don't you worry, you can take it right from where you left it. I just need Joseph for a bit."
"Don't worry, we are done!" Alice says and Nathan gives her another playful smirk. "I mean, I am done!"Alice corrects herself and Nathan tries really hard not to say another sarcastic comment. "Anyway, I am leaving, so I am letting you two bffs be." She snorts and leaves, but she gives me another fast glance before she disappears.
"What the fucking hell, man?" I exasperate the moment Alice is gone.
"Okay, cool down." He raises his hands up apologetically and then shakes his head laughing.
"That's freaking hard right now." I huff irritated and in despair. Alice really turned me on and now I am left with none. How am I supposed to cool down?
"It is obvious, yes. And I believe it was obvious to Alice too." Nathan remarks and nodding with his head down at me. Well, it's pretty hard to be missed.
"Can you blame me? I had an exploding volcano all over me!" I yell to him. I still have Alice's intoxicating smell on me.
"Man, I had no idea! I mean I got a hint on what could be happening upstairs but I thought since this is technically a public place, you would behave yourselves." He tells me with a giant smirk all over his face.
"Since when did you behave in a public place?" I give him a meaningful look.
"You've got a point. But man, this is the gym, people come in and out all the time. If it hadn't been me, somebody else would have interrupted the action. You both should be thankful that it was me, especially Alice. That makes me the only one to know your secret. Or should I say dirty little secret?"He raises his eyebrows at me once again completely enjoying every second he teases me.
"There's nothing going on between me and Alice..." I start saying and he gives me a meaningful glance "Well, except from those times that you happened to be present. The conclusion is that it can't go anywhere so end of story." I say firmly, trying to put an end to that.
"Sounds like you should require my presence then. Apparently I am bringing you luck. And what do you mean it can't go anywhere? From what I've seen and especially from what I just saw, it can go to all places." He states with a cocky smile.
"It means that I can't offer her something more than sex." I point out.
"At least , tell me you have done that at least once." He says in a questioning tone. "What? Still not?" He asks without hiding his surprise.
"Do you think that Alice is just a call for sex? Like you do with Susan? That I call her when I am turned on?" I get angry at him, like I do every time that he refers to Alice like another ordinary girl for a hook up session. When I am with Alice even in a sexual way, I feel things that I haven't experienced before with any other woman. There's something more than raw sexual desire.
"Man, I'll say it one more time 'cause you're obviously blind. I walked in two people on top of each other who definitely wanted to be on top of each other. She is into it. She is into you. And you're telling me that you're gonna let her slip from your fingers? 'Cause even an idiot wouldn't do that." He approaches me and rests his hand on my shoulder.
"Man, are you not listening to me? I can't give her what she wants. Not to mention, I don't want her to be just another number on my list of endless women. She doesn't deserve it. And most importantly, I don't want to hurt her. I don't think of my actions... I just do them! When I see her, everything shuts down." I confess to him in a deep voice.
Nathan stays silent for a second, which is kind of unexpected, considering how amusing he finds this whole conversation.
"You know better." He says sighing. "Just be careful because there is no way back and things seems crucial in your case."
"I can assure you there's nothing to worry about." I reassure him. "Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about, before I ditch you?" I change the topic, because I suddenly remembered that Nathan was telling me something in my excitement to see Alice.
"I am happy you remember that. If you haven't ditched me, maybe I wouldn't have shown up here. Anyway, why did you come by the frat house yesterday?" He looks at me anxiously.
"Ah that! I came because your special friend Vanessa wanted to gather us in order to make you feel better after the disqualification. Note that I didn't cockblock you." I remark giving him a meaningful look. Why do I still keep complaining about that? On the contrary I should be thankful he did, because if anything had happened between me and Alice, then what? I should put a stop on myself, but when I see her I just act on impulse without thinking the consequences.
"You won't be recovering from it any time soon as I see." He says beaming. "Why are you calling Vanessa like that? Did she tell you?"
"Tell me what? I've just made it up since she's the only straight girl that you casually hang out without banging. Doesn't it sound catchy? Like a song." I mess around with him and I really enjoy it. As Nathan knows that something dirty is going on between me and Alice, I believe something similar it's going on with him and Vanessa.
"What a coincidence." He gives me a sceptical glance. "I know it is catchy 'cause I've made it up first and quite a while ago I might add. Did it slip from her? Come on! You can tell me, Joseph!" He says in a demanding tone.
"Why? Is it impossible for me to have made the same thought?" I smirk teasing him a bit more.
"Come on, just spit it." He demands with anticipation.
"You'd better spit it! It's caught on my radar that something's on between you and Vanessa." I tease him with a smirk.
"And may I ask what lead your radar to that conclusion?" He raises an eyebrow at me.
"General moments, but what really intrigued me was Vanessa's freak out yesterday. In the time that I know her, I know that she is quite nervy, but what I witnessed yesterday was too much even for her." I tell him with a meaningful look.
"She overdid it, didn't she? I thought it was my idea but since you've noticed too..." Nathan says with a cocky smile.
"Exactly. Sophie, who is as nervy as Vanessa, sees many women come and go in our apartment and I've never seen such a behaviour." I remark to him.
"Sophie is nervy yeah but after all this time she might have immunity to such meetups. Vanessa though... I guess she is not used to such situations. But it was like she did lose her voice, right?" His eyes are on mine waiting for confirmation.
"She lost it the moment she saw Susan half naked opening the door." I answer him and Nathan chuckles shortly.
"Exactly! You could say it was fun to see her reaction but I think it really made her feel uncomfortable. You should have warned me, man. I would have taken care of that." He adds in a more serious tone.
"I called you, because I was sure you were up to something, or to put it better, on to someone, but you had turned your cell off."
"You did? That was thoughtful." He smirks. "Was she okay? Afterwards?" He asks with concern.
"Don't worry! Joseph knows how to relax the ladies." I answer playfully and I notice that Nathan is really concerned about her.
"Good. She did all these for me and I send her away like that." He remarks and rubs the back of his neck. "She ran into you at campus and told you what?"
"Actually she called me and took me to the frat house to inform you about the gathering. The whole thing it was her idea. I was just the driver."
"I see." He nods looking sceptical. "Maybe we can arrange a hang out or something this week. Does Friday works for you?"
"Yeah! I haven't got any plans! Actually let's do it in my place!"I propose enthusiastically.
"Cool. So I'll see you then." He tells me and heads towards the door. "And Joseph. Thanks."
"It's settled!" I exclaim. "Wait for me, dude! I haven't done my exercises yet."
"Yeah, let's go. Maybe Alice is still downstairs." He teases me with a smirk.
"You're such an ass!" I swear to him laughing and he laughs as well.
The next hour I focus on my exercises and talk from time to time with Nathan and other friends, but my mind is stuck on what happened between me and Alice. She turned me on to a level that I wanted her to be the one who put out the fire and no one else, so for the rest of the day I try to put it in the back of my mind, but it always pops up. Fuck with this girl. She has messed with my mind and my body.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Plese feel free to share your thoughts.