Have you ever wondered what its like to be a whole other person? Like who you are isn't what you're meant to be? To be someone bold and brave and to have something to care for and protect. All things that I'm not and do not have. Life hasn't ever come easy for me. Between my father who works in the states. Chicago to be exact, and my mother who disappears for most of the time to only come back as someone I don't recognize more and more. I'm alone. I remember the good times I used to have with my family up until we moved away from our comforts of the country side to the most popular city in Japan. Tokyo.
Once we moved here everything went downhill and I always have felt I'm the one to blame. I was born different. I've always have had heterochromia eyes which are believed to represent demons. Ha, how funny is that? Such a simple thing can make anyone fear you. Although is being feared so horrible? After the reactions of people around us my parents began to fight often and distance themselves from not only each other, but from me.
So here I am. A loner in junior high. With no adaptations on how to make a single friend. Although why should I? Being alone means peace and quiet and is it all that bad? The correct answer is yes. There's something terrifying about being alone. Whether it be because of the silence or because no matter what choice you choose you're always going to be alone.
As I was saying before, have you ever wondered if you're meant to be a whole other person? Deep down I know I'm not who I am meant to be. Deep in the abyss of my body and soul I know something is missing from me but I can only hope and dream to find out what exactly and that is what keeps me going. That's what keeps me breathing because one day I feel deep in my bones I will be somewhere in this world where I'm meant to be.