A/N: Okay, before we start this chapter, let me just say that I've got all the Gom's phone numbers and this chapter is just a special side story and does not effect the actual story. There are gonna be at least more than 3 side story's. The special chapters are just for comedic relief. Okay? Got it? Good, over and out.
"Alright, now that I've met all the Gom, I can finally set my plan in motion." Mackenzie grinned evily and looked over her list. "Hmmm, the first thing on the list is a prank call. Now, who should I prank call?"
"It'd be pretty amusing to prank call Midorima or Akashi. No, it can't be Akashi, he's rich enough to use his money to find the location of the caller and frankly, I don't feel like dying by a pair of scissors. As for Midorima, well I've got something else in store for him. So they're out." She thought about the rest of them. "Kise? While I love his cute crying face, I don't want to add to the load of bullying he gets everyday from Kasamatsu. Kagami and Kuroko? No, they are really nice gentlemen so I can't possibly ruin their man ego from this prank phone call. Murasakibara....don't even get me started."
"So, I guess the only person left is Aomine. Actually, he'd be the perfect victim. I could get revenge on him for looking at my boobs." She remembered this really funny youtube video and decided to use that. (A/N: It's actually true, the video is called LOTR: Easter Egg)
She went to a phone booth and typed in Aomine's number. She cleared her throat, ready to speak in her German accent.
*Ring*
Aomine's POV:
"Hello?"
"Guten-Tag!" an energetic German accent replied. What the hell? How did this guy get my number?
"Ist zist za residenze of..uh..Aomine Zaiki?"
"Yeaaah..." I said with slight suspicion. I wasn't really sure if it was a guy or a girl, the accent was kind've hard to understand. Maybe it's a guy?
"Ah! Excellent, excellent! First of all Mr. Aomine, I vould like to say zist ist an incredible, incredible honor to speak to you. Incredible honor," The German added in a low exited tone, which made me a little uncomfortable.
"Oh excuse meh!" the voice said suddenly, "I forgot mine manners, I vas just so excited to meet you." Okay, this is officially creeping me out. "Um...mine name ist Jorgin Van-" The person hesitated for a second, "Schmeltzmabaken."
This guy's name is Van-smell-my-bacon?
"I vork for zuh German male modeling agency of Luxenberg. Ve have heard vonderful szings about you Mr. Aomine."
Okay...this has to be a joke.
"What?" was all I could say in a distraught voice. There was a muffled sound at the end. Was this guy laughing?
"Look pal," I said, temper spiking, "if you think I'm gonna fall for this sick prank of yours, you got another thing comin. Now who the hell this?!"
"I-I do not understand Mr. Aomine," the voice said confused. "V-vould you like meh to introduze myself onze more? Mine name ist-"
"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!" I yelled. "Look man, I'm not interested-"
"But you vere recommended to us by a cloze friend of yourz, did he not inform you of zis? His, his name ...hmm let's see...I believe it vas...Kise Zryouta?... He has already filled out your papervork and sent in your confirmation form."
"Kise?" I snarled into the phone. That son of a bitch! He probably would set me up with something like this. I'M GONNA KILL THAT DUMB BLONDE!
"Yes, yes Mr. Aomine. Your ahhh, oh... how do I say zis wizout being rude... uhhh, your man-friend, Kise, told uz zat you vere both interested in our program."
"Wait, wait!" My voice was fuming, "What the hell do you mean 'man-friend'?"
"...Vell... I vas told zat you... you and zis Kise, Vell zat you are..um, together, you, you are man-friendz, or do you have another vay of saying it, in your country?"
I was so angry that I saw red. Not only had Kise set me up with one of his Modeling gigs, he told them that I was GAY!
"Ahhh, no, no, no. I don't like guys like that. This whole thing is a big misunder-"
"But- excuze me Mr. Aomine, I interrupt you- I'm sorry, your friend called you, Beautiful Man, he said you.. you are Beautiful Man. And you say zat zis has no... gay connotation?" The voice emphasized on the word gay.
"Listen," I said through gritted teeth, "Whatever Kise told you, IT'S A LIE, I'M NOT-"
"Ooh," the voice chuckled, "you do not have to be so shy! Ve are very velcoming to your type. You vill be sure to fit right in vith our agency." The German talked so fast, I could hardly get a word in.
I thought about hanging up and silencing this nut-job for good, but I had to make things clear. No way would I let my reputation be sullied by Kise.
"Und if you are having some problemz vith your current relationship vith um... zis Kise- you should have no fear for ending your relationship vith him. Ve have so many other men for you to choose from-"
"-WHAT!?-"
"-Und ze are all so eager to meet you, ze just adore your hair and your... your blue eyes."
"How the f*ck did you know I had blue eyes?!" My pulse was rising in fear now. What the Hell?! The f*ckin Nazis are drafting me cuz' they know I'm hot!
"Ze amount of sex-appeal you have on ze male species is incredible, incredible..."
I listened with a horrifying chill running down my spine.
"And your big blue eyes, yes, ve all love your, your eyes..." to my disgust, the voice was getting heavy. "Big... Blue..." the lustful voice trailed off into a pause.
This guy... he sounds like he's GAY FOR ME TOO! For my own safety I wanted to hang up now. RIGHT NOW. I had been through a lot of deadly situations in my day, but I have never felt my life so threatened until this German guy came on to me over the phone.
The voice on the other end cleared their throat.
"Excuze meh Mr. Aomine, mine mind vas vondering into..um.." the voice mumbled, "plazes it shouldn't, I'm sorry. Ve vill talk business now, yah? Gut. First, zere vere a few questions raised zat ve must have you answer for us before ve can admit you to our agency."
I was about to cut in but he kept going.
"Ve notized zat you, zat your hair-it's very stylish, yes-but it seemz almost unreal how silky and soft it looks, how silky it could be to the touch...and feels...Now tell me! Do you vear vigs?"
"What did you just say?" I asked menacingly. First, this guy calls me gay, then comes on to me and is fantasizing about petting my hair, and now he's accusing me of my hair being fake?
"Do you vear vigs?"
"HELL NO!"
"Have you vorn vigs?"
"No, I have not worn wigs!"
"Vill you vear vigs?"
I blinked and scoffed, annoyed out of my mind.
"You know what? Yes, I definitely would." F*cker! I want to pulverize him!
"Vhen vill you vear vigs?"
"ENOUGH WITH THE WIGS!" I yelled, pissed off.
"I-I am upsetting you? Okay, new question."
Finally!
"I vear you play basketball, yah?"
"Yeah"
"You play vith balls?"
I was quiet for a moment. Then I burst into a roar of laughter. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't hear the German on the other end.
"Zis...zis ist funny to you?...I...I am upsetting you?" He asked in a concerned tone. "Vell zen, ah, Mr. Aomine.... I vill just, uh, move on vith za questionz..."
"Yes," I said through laughter, "please, move on with the questions." What other sick kind of stuff can this creep have to ask me?
"Ve hear rumors from your partner zat, before you decided to um...ooh..how do I say...before you svitch your taste in gender, you had relationship vith vomen, uhh, Momoi Satsuki? Yes?"
Satsuki!? I thought viciously to myself at that accusation.
"But you, um...you drop her... you uhh, finish, yes," the voice said happily, finally finding the right words, "you finish relationship vith her,....vhyy?" the voice asked curiously.
"Tch, I didn't-" I scoffed again and rolled my eyes. This freak wouldn't obviously believe me if I denied the lie, so I might as well give the wacko a good story, "The truth is her boobs weren't big enough."
"Ah, yes but....how long vas she your vife?"
"Ah, no...she was never my wife-"
"-You vere engaged to her zough...You have baby?"
"What?" I didn't think he would take it this far, "No! We were never-"
"Ve hear she haz small child. Eh...Tetsuya...I believe zat ist his name. Very small child."
"That doesn't even make sense!"
"So you, you do not... support your baby...You, you leave him to starve? You abandon him?"
"I don't have a kid! I was just-"
"I apologize to you, Mr. Aomine-ve have run out of time. But I vill say congratulationz, you have passed the verbal interview. Ve vill be in contact vith you very soon, ze plane leaves for Kalakula in short hourz- oh and I vould just like to add....FOOLED YOU SUCKA! HAHAHAHA! Maybe next time, you should stop checking out ladies boobs you perv, see you!"
My jaw dropped, eyes bulging out of my head in anger and embarrassment.
"MACKENZIE!"
*click*
The dial tone from my cell hummed in my ear.
"She's gonna pay for this." I growled to myself and my hands balled into fists, humiliation flaring my cheeks red.
Normal POV:
"That was so satisfying." Mackenzie said triumphantly, happy that she accomplished her mission.
"Now that that's out of the way, who should I prank next?" She looked over her list.
A/N: How did you like it? Please tell me who should I prank next.