"Who on Earth deserves this and what the hell do we do now? So we live like we have lost and we love like we are broken. And as the colour leaves the sky, we're left in reference of the frailty of it all".
The Colour Of Leaving // Parkway Drive
A/N: This song is so beautiful. It's on the new album of Parkway Drive and it's a bit short and calm, really worth a listen. Also, don't forget to check out my new fic Veni Vidi Amavi with Daniel! 👀
Spa-Francorchamps, another been there, done that weekend for Red Bull. Daniel managed to drive himself to P3, probably to blow all the steam off of the stress that has been loaded on his shoulders with the private things that had happened before the race. Max could sadly add another DNF to his calender. Daniel wiped the sweat off his forehead as he took the trophy with him and put it down on the table as he sat down on the couch inside his driver's cabin. He stared at the shiny trophy, part of him feeling happy, feeling relieved the car had been this good to him today, but a part of him didn't feel happy at all. Because when he looked down at his team that were pushing against the barriers of parc ferme, while he was up on the steps of the podium, he didn't see Giulia.
Daniel didn't see the bright smile and the sparkling eyes he could recognize in a group of a thousand people, he didn't see the face that warmed up his heart. He didn't see the one whose support he needed the most. Daniel saw Jemma and mostly her phone as she was taking pictures of him. Maybe for a new background on her phone or laptop or for her instagram page or to brag about what her boyfriend had done this weekend across her friends. He didn't know and he didn't really care either. Daniel looked up as the door of his cabin opened and he was about to go wide-eyed as he thought he saw the dark brown strands of Giulia, but they belonged to Jemma. "I'm so proud of you!". She squealed and moved towards him. Jemma wrapped her arms aroudn him and he weakly hugged her back.
Jemma's smile sunk a bit as he turned his head when she wanted to kiss him. "Is there something wrong?". She asked, unsure if it was her or if his mood had completely turned around. "No, I'm just really tired. And sweaty, you don't want to kiss or hug me now". He chuckled and took his arms away from her. Jemma frowned as they both didn't mind normally. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting...". Anna stood in the doorway with her laptop and recorder. "Media meeting time". She said with apologizing eyes towards Jemma. She could understand if she wanted to be with her boyfriend, but she could be all night. They just had to get this done for the media rapport. "You can go back to the hotel, I'll follow you later". Daniel muttered and Jemma silently nodded. She didn't say anything when she walked out, making Anna look over at him.
"The air's thick in here. A tense conversation?". She softly spoke. His PR officer knew him long enough to sense Daniel wasn't in his usual habitat. "Nothing, it's nothing". Daniel waved her away and started to undress himself and get back into some shorts and a Red Bull shirts. He answered some of Anna's questions as he was swinging the shirt over his head. He splashed a hand full of water in his face and hoped it would clear his thoughts a bit too. "Daniel?". He looked up at the blonde as she was seated at the small desk. "I just asked you a question". Anna said, a small smile on her face and her eyebrows slightly rose. "Sorry, what?". Daniel sheepishly asked and she shook her head. "You know what, I'll just finish this on my own. Please go and fix whatever you need to fix". Anna said, a gentle look in her eyes.
Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I'll do that. Okay". He gathered his stuff and smiled at her. "Thanks, Anna". She waved him goodbye and Daniel closed the door behind him. He took his car keys out of his pocket and made his way to the parking lot behind the hospitalites of the circuit of Spa. The car beeped softly and the lights flickered when he unlocked the doors. He had to tell Jemma. He had to tell her that he had sex with Giulia and that he had feelings for her and not for Jemma anymore. He could already guess that it will turn out in a drama, but he still had hopes for a calm and easy conversation. Daniel got in his car and put it in reverse to turn out of the parking lot. The gates opened automatically when he appeared and he drove through to get onto the road. Because they had the same hotel every year, he easily remembered the route by now.
The radio played a song in the background, but it didn't really soak into his brain as he was busy with thinking ahead. What was going to happen afterwards? Was he going to talk to Giulia. Probably. Daniel already turned towards the hotel, stopping in front of the entrance and handing the keys to one of the personnel, so they could drive it to the underground parking lot. Daniel walked through the lobby and took the elevator to the fourth floor. Jemma was seated on the bed with her laptop in front of her, a pair of headphones on her head as she was probably watching some kind of series. "Hey, you're back". She smiled as she saw Daniel coming through the door. He turned to shake his arms out of his jacket and throw it over one of the chairs in the corner of the room.
"We need to talk". Daniel said, taking a deep breath. Jemma's smile sunk again and she nodded, closing her laptop and pushing it to the edge of the bed, her headphones placed on top of it. "What is it?". She asked, feeling slightly nervous. Daniel ran a hand through his raven curls, he didn't even know how to say it. "Giulia and I...". He cleared his throat as it came out weakily. Jemma pursed her lips together. "We had sex". He continued, his teeth digging into his lower lip as he looked at her face, her expressions not changing. "You're funny, Daniel. But I don't appreciate this joke". Jemma said, her eyebrows raising in an annoyed way. His lips parted to respond something, yet he didn't find any good response to it. "You're not joking". Jemma stated. "Oh my god". She stood up from the bed, her hands balling into fists. "I can't believe this, tell me it isn't true". Tears started to form in her eyes.
Daniel felt the guilt burning a hole in his heart and he wanted to step forwards and reach out for her, however her frustrated motions with her hands told him to stay away from her as far as possible. "You told me you never had feelings for her!". Jemma yelled. "Jemma, I'm in love with her since high school, I can't get over her". Daniel softly said. "Of course, Giulia Spinelli, the beautiful Italian girl, the best friend since high school. Tragic love story, Daniel". She snarled, wiping her tears from her cheeks, but new ones already fell out of her eyes. "You fucking told me I didn't need to worry about her, Daniel!". Her voice rose again and it made him flinch from his spot in the hotel room. "And I trusted you. I fucking trusted you. You're all smiles, you're Formula One's most funny and humble and nice and whatever goddamn else driver, but behind all those camera's you're a real asshole". Her finger accusingly pointed at him.
"You can't deny that we're not in love with each other anymore for a really long time". Daniel said. "Giulia's been there whenever you're not and it just happened". He softly added. "I don't give a fuck about how it happened. Get out, please". Jemma cried and pointed at the door now. "Get out!". She yelled. Daniel looked at her for a moment and just nodded, moving to take his bag that was already packed before the race. He took it and stood still in the doorway, hesitating to look back over his shoulder, but he didn't. Daniel took the elevator downstairs and asked for his car at the reception, receiving a slight look as he had been barely ten minutes inside, but they said the personnel will drive it out in front for him. The flight back home was going to be lonely.
Giulia had taken the flight back home alone as well and she arrived in Monaco around the evening. She hoped Pierre was out to train or something else so she could have a moment for herself, preferably to cry in the shower and let it all out before having to tell Pierre she cheated on him. She took a bus to a station a block before the apartment she shared with Pierre, moving into the hallway and taking the stairs to walk to their floor. Giulia took the keys from the door, her hands a bit shaky as she turned them in the lock to open the door. She was greeted with the smell of home and a great meal being prepared in the kitchen. She silently took off her coat and dropped her bag on the floor. She calmed herself a bit before walking into the kitchen, seeing Pierre cooking behind the stove. "Gules, you're back". He smiled and walked up to her as soon as he saw her.
Pierre pressed a kiss to her lips and she awkwardly pulled back. "Pierre...". She looked up at him. "I'm cooking your favourite dinner, thought you'd like it! Take a look outside, I made the table on the balcony and-...". "Pierre". She stated, a bit louder and it made him look up at her. "I need to tell you something". Giulia said, taking a deep breath to force the tears back for now. "What is it?". Pierre became worried at her tone and at the look on her face, taking her back in his arms, but she gently freed himself from his grip. She didn't want him to hold her like that, he would probably be disgusted of her after she told him. "Something happened between Daniel and I". Giulia couldn't even look at him. We... We had sex". Pierre blinked a couple times at what she said. "You had sex. With Daniel".
Pierre put down the things he had in his hands, leaning against the kitchen. Giulia was afraid that he would started shouting at her, breaking her completely after she already felt so guilty, but it was worse than everything she expected. He said nothing. She saw the hurt in his eyes and she coulndn't hold in her tears anymore. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to cheat on you, but Daniel and I just have something between us and I couldn't stop myself". She sobbed. "I don't want you to be in a relationship with me, Pierre. I don't deserve you". Pierre had tried his best to get their relationship back to what it was, but with her telling him this, it also told him it didn't work out at all. "You're right, about the relationship. We should've broke up a while ago". Pierre said softly, nothing in his voice or head looked like he was angry.
Giulia was somehow glad that he didn't shout at her, but his heart was clearly broken. "You hurt me, Giulia. Because I loved you". Pierre's voice cracked as he blinked against the tears. "And you kept me in this illusion that you loved me too and you wouldn't ever catch feelings for Daniel. That your best friend wouldn't influence our lives and our relationship but it did, look where we are now". Giulia's tears blurred her vision. "Why are you not mad at me?". Her voice croaked and Pierre took a few steps closer to her. "Because if you couldn't control yourself while you slept with him, I clearly did something wrong in our relationship too. I didn't give you enough love or anything else you needed that would stop you. You didn't cheat on me because you like to hurt me. You slept with Daniel because he could give you the feeling and love you long for". Giulia scoffed, she couldn't understand why he was like that. She swallowed hard and wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her shirt.
"I don't want to break up with a huge fight, Giulia". Pierre softly said. "We're both hurt in this situation. It's better to break up". He added and he stepped towards her again, this time to press her against his chest. Giulia hesitated, but hugged him back and let out another sob as the next emotional wave crushed her. Pierre rested his head atop of hers and moved his fingers through her hair until she calmed down. He gently pulled away from her and took her face in his hands, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to pack my stuff and book a flight to Nice. I'll stay at Norman's place for a bit. I think that's better". Giulia nodded, sniffling as she remembered his friend, Norman Nato. He managed to smile a slight bit at her and moved out of the kitchen to get upstairs. Giulia turned off the stove, the pasta meal he was making being as good as ready. She silently grabbed a small lunch box and scooped some in it, so he could take it to the airport. She wasn't hungry anyway and she didn't want to throw it all away.
Pierre came back, or well, he stayed in the doorway as he packed most of his clothing. He could always stop by later if he forgot anything essential. "I guess we'll see each other again, around the track or something". He said and she nodded, her bloodshot eyes from crying looking up at him. "We have beautiful memories, Gules. Let's focus on those, hmm?". He hummed, caressing her face as he was trying not to cry too. "Bye, Pierre". She watched how he walked out of the appartment, the silence filling the room.