I am Sorry
It's been 2 weeks 5 days 12 hours 10 mins and 24 seconds since we had talked (yeah I'm good in numbers). Everyday was like, you know the feeling you are attending a funeral?? well like that. fuck!
gosh did I just said that??? grrr and now I'm having a foul mouth.
My physical physique attends school and do the talking with my friends and Aidan but my mind always floating up to the planet venus where I and Kaia kinda meet.
shit! I'm really going crazy
yes you are how can you go to planet venus if you doesn't own a rocket ship? ha ha
back off you pissing little mouse.
then come to your senses litte cat! you did that to yourself.
I know so stop on repeating it again and again!!!!!
someone's angry! ha ha
I'm gonna kill you for real
go on kill your stupid self ' oopps! I stand corrected...you're dead actually.
shut up!
you killed yourself when you pushed away kaia the one you truly love.
I'm not inlove with her!!
okay as you say so goodluck with your suffering I mean our suffering.
'' Gosh! I'm really ------- '' then I was cut off
'' you really what bestie!!! '' Hermonie shouted at my ear enough for me to abruptly get up from my seat causing the juice I'm drinking to spill out on my skirt.
'' oh my god Hermonie, stop doing that look what you've done '' I told her feeling annoyed while wiping it dry with tissue.
'' I'm sorry Sky I didn't mean to '' she spoke feeling sorry while helping me from the mess she had committed.
'' I'm going to the bathroom instead, stop now ''
I picked up my bag and left my bestfriend with a worried face when I declined the help she's offering.
I open the faucet without doing anything and let the water run. I feel sorry for Hermonie for what I've done. I shouldn't have spoke to her like that, she's my bestfriend who always there for me. I didn't know what came up to my mind a while ago.
I sighed.
'' oh what a sigh cousin '' Keana told me appearing herself from one of the cubicles. I glanced at her and started to wash away the stains on my skirt totally ignoring her.
'' someone's not in the mood? Wow that's new my so so good and the perfect cousin of mine is not in the mood '' she told while playing my loosened hair with her finger.
'' what do you want? ''
'' nothing cousin. I just feel privilege to bumped you in here '' she smirked
'' well it's no big deal and you're welcome '' I replied sarcastically after closing the faucet and ready to take my leave.
'' What happened to you and Adrienne? '' she blurted out.
'' you seemed so close before and now it's like it's over, maybe she doesn't need your help anymore and find your company a boring one '' she chuckled in a bitch way like what she's potraying to.
'' or maybe she plainly doesn't like you, right!!'' She added clasping both of her hands infront darting me her fierced look.
'' Look keana I don't know what's your problem but look it's not your call to whom I'm going with or whoever out there doesn't want to be with me and please do me a favor just keep your mouth shut if you don't have important matter to say infront of me, get it?? ''
'' okay '' she mouthed giving me her trademark but most annoying wink I've seen ever even in the history of winking.
whuuut??? grrr okay never mind that.
With no more to add. I shook my head and left not glancing back at her. I hate that girl, she is the most hateful cousin of mine today. I don't know what's the matter why she hates me so bad.
We used to be friends before. I did love her, she was my bestfriend. We hang out with our other cousins until one day she had change of heart. I talked to her, asked her what's wrong but she didn't answer me with the real one, she just told me this.
'' because I don't want to be your friend anymore ''
Just that! what the heck right so fine I got tired of her and all the drama she's having and up to now we're not in good terms.
The bad thing is, she and Kaia becomes close. I mean yes Kaia was literally become friendly to everyone, she smiles and talk here and there not just to me anymore.
We're not also even seat mates, occasionally our teacher makes the sitting arragement different so you have a chance to be seated with others and make friends and you're lucky if you've got the chance to be near with your crush or the one you like, so before I liked it NO I MEAN I LOVED THE IDEA, you know to have some space with Aidan who are like always glued to me but now I think I hated it already 'cause Kaia was taken away from me and she's now beside Keana!
damn!!!
watch your language Skylar!
I was drowning with my thoughts when Hermonie appeared infront of me with her still sorry face.
I smiled to her and say
'' hey, it's okay now look '' pointing my now cleaned skirt.
'' like nothing's happened right? '' I make few more steps and hugged my bestfriend
'' I'm sorry. I was just you know-----''
'' not in the mood? '' she continue hugging me back.
'' Yes ''
we freed ourselves from the hug
'' I know something's up with you for the last 2 weeks. Aidan is worried and totally not in his ownself too, is there something wrong between the two of you?? '' she asked looking deeply into my eyes .
I shook my head.
'' actually I don't know too I just feel so lost and Aidan was not the reason, it's jus......just....''
I paused couldn't complete my sentence when all of a sudden a stray of tear fell down to my face. Hermonie wiped it and hugged me again.
'' ssshhhh it's okay, its okay everything's gonna be okay '' she said giving me comfort until someone's back got bounced on hermonie's back so literally on my face as well.
'' ohh!!!!! I'm sorry '' she said as she saw us gotten a bit unsteady.
'' watch out your steps nex---'' my tongue got froze when I saw no other than Kaia.
She glanced at me for a second. No just a half second, would you believe that she couldn't look at me.
ouch #1!!!
'' I'm sorry!! '' she apologized and my tongue was cut.
'' it's fine Adrienne, oh nice to see you again! '' hermonie exclaimed happily
'' we just did a while ago hermonie '' she laughed at hermonie
I missed that laugh! ouch#2
'' oh yeah haha how could I forget already '' hermonie teased as she slapped her hand to her forhead for the act.
'' bestie are you just going to be a mute there?? '' she told transferring her attention to me.
I hate you for this hermonie don't make me talk, don't because I might not hide the pain inside me when I speak.
'' hey!!! ''
she is now snapping her finger infront of my face.
'' it's okay maybe she's not feeling okay '' Kaia said and I gulped.
'' I think so this one who is standing here is not my real bestfriend, probably her clone '' she joked holding my hand and kaia let a soft laugh escapes her lips until keana called her.
'' Adrienne!!!!!! '' she shouted running towards our direction. She ceased beside kaia and hooked their arms.
why she's hooking her arm to her? ouch# 3
'' oh lets go now?? we're going to be late ''
'' okay, so guys we're going now ''
'' oh.. where to ?? '' hermonie pry.
'' none of your business !'' keana replied pouting her lips as she dragged kaia's away from us
'' goodbye guys '' kaia shouted
'' goodbye adrienne, be careful with keana she's a bitch who bites!!!! '' hermonie shouted back
'' f**** you hermonie!!! '' she backfired laughing loud.
'' is that really your cousin?? '' she asked me having our way to the main entrance
'' unfortunately yes '' my voice cracked from the pain I'm feeling in my chest.
'' I'm glad you're way too different from that bitch keana!'' she paused then continue.
'' I'm sorry bestie I should've known you're having a bad week, fine weeks, if you are ready, just tell me okay?? '' I smiled to her and nod.
'' I love you sky you know that right? ''
'' I know and I love you too hermonie, so I'm going first okay, my driver is here '' she nodded as her confirmation, when I was about to go I turned to her again.
'' bestie do you have adrienne's mobile number? ''
she looked at me skeptically. I know she's smart and will start to think what happened to us if I was the one who's close to her from the very beginning yet still not having her number.
'' I amm ammm you know I didn't really asked about her number before ''
'' I think so, wait ''
she might still thinking of whatever but that's the real truth I didn't asked about it.
'' here '' giving her phone to me
'' thank you '' I told copying her number to my phone.
That night I was just lying on my bed when I remembered how keana's arm hooked to kaia's. My chest felt a pang and my blood started to boil. I am fidgetting in my bed like a kid and yanked my phone tapping the message icon for Kaia.
what I'm going to say??
that you're sorry maybe?
it's hard!
how come it's hard when you really mean it?
it's fine to message her right?
I don't see any reason in messaging someone could be a wrong idea and give yourself a rest from hurting and being miserable.
okay fine.
So here I am after what I've told her and pushing her away I'm now infront of my phone typing the word I'm Sorry sending it with my eyes closed and hammering chest.
When I heard the message sent sound I slowly open my eyes and wait for her reply and I wait and wait and wait until my alarm buzzed !
damn it's already morning and there's none. I never leave my eyes from my phone screen to see instantly her reply even I put it's ring tone to the highest level but there's nothing.
She's mad at me I pushed her away, this is my fault and now I'm sufferring like hell.
'' I'm sorry kaia, I'm sorry '' I mumbled and started to cry my heart out.