"Hey, I was looking for you" He said to her, I could feel him standing just behind me. His voice... it felt so calm and so sad...
"Yeah me too. I don't even know why you left just like that. Where did you go?"
"Never mind"
"Whatever" "she rolled her eyes "So here's your P.A"
"I know"
How could his voice be so calm?
After everything that happened...
"Alrightie y/n, why don't you come hangout with us?"
"No... I-I was leaving for dinner..."
"Just exactly what we were planning next! Come on, let's go!" She threw a hand over my shoulder and as we turned around, my eyes met his.
It felt as if my heartbeat stopped, as I let myself fall deep and still deeper in those dark eyes. And they almost mirrored mine. Afraid of letting go, but even more scared of holding on.
If you really love me, why did you do all those things? Why did you hurt me so much?
I felt my heart clench in pain. I still loved him. After all he had done, he still affected me. Age, years, they had no effect on my heart. They say that for every girl there is a boy she can never get over. Jungkook was that guy for me, unfortunately.
Irene kept talking about stuff as we walked but I couldn't hear a word. All I could hear were his footsteps behind me. All I could feel were his eyes on my back.
She brought us to an area that was supposed to VIP dinning lounge.
"And they serve the best steaks here" She concluded as Jungkook pulled out a chair for her. I pulled out one for myself while trying to avoid his eyes.
"I think I'll go for a salad, nothing too heavy... What do you think Kookie?"
"You and your obsession with fitness" he rolled his eyes, smiling.
"Hey!" she protested. Meanwhile I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, trying to be as invisible as I could. Even a blind person could notice how comfortable both of them were each other.
So.
I was wrong all this time.
He loved her, not me.
It was just an illusion l was under.
And I was here in this city because he wanted revenge, not me.
"What about you y/n?" Irene asked me.
"Huh?"
"What would you like to eat?"
"Uh, just anything..." I tried to pick up an item, flipping the pages of the menu clumsily but my eyes were blurry with tears.
"Are you okay though?"
"Sorry I-I will just go to the rest room for a while"
I excused myself and hurried out of there. This was too much, I couldn't take it. He wasn't mine, never meant to be mine... still it hurt to see him with another woman.
What did I ever do so wrong? Why was my life punishing me so? Living near someone you've loved... still love maybe, but knowing they belong to someone else and will never be yours is one of the most painful feelings. It kills you inside and every second tears threaten to expose you but what can you do other than to just... hide every single thing inside and die a little bit every moment...
Once inside, I splashed my face with water, trying hard to breathe, with my hands clasped on the edges of sink, as if it was the only support for me at the moment.
Why was my heart so stubborn? Why was it still hoping, that he would turn to me? That he would be mine in the end? When he was clearly in love with someone else. Some one who was way more gorgeous, way more beautiful than me and suited him so much more.
"Are you still upset with me?" I heard his voice. and closed my eyes shut. So he had followed me.
What for?
I wiped off my tears and hurried towards the exit, trying to ignore him but his hand blocked my way as it landed on the wall in front of me.
"What do you want?" I asked, without looking at him.
"Am I that hateful to you now, that you won't even look at me?" He tried to touch my cheek but I moved my face away so he couldn't. He looked down, biting down on his lip. His breathing was heavy on my face as his eyes slowly rose to study my face again.
"April..."
"Jungkook, let me go"
"I'm sorry for... that day"
"Are you?" I looked at him. So was I, for leaving you like that. But was that enough? Apparently not! I thought bitterly.
"April..."
Why do you have such double standards? You saw Daniel with me one day and you decided to raid my apartment and nearly did me but every time I step out of my apartment, I see you with her. I wished I could say that to him.
"She's waiting" was all I could manage.
"You know I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you..."
"But you did!" I simply said with a broken voice and removed his hand, slowly bringing it down and then pushing it away. I left before the dam in my eyes could break. I didn't go to the dinning area, I just left.
That's what I am best at after all, running away. I thought bitterly.