-Vincenzo-
Pain. That was all I could feel. Pain.
I was assuming I was on some kind of medication but nothing seemed to be working. I was in so much pain in my chest and abdomen, that I almost wanted to give up.
'Don't give up, hold on' is what Mia said. She hadn't been talking to me in ages and I could only hear her angelic voice when she was talking with someone else in the room.
Her voice was slightly hoarse and she sounded tired, as though she hadn't slept in days. Her voice would crack and she would cry whenever I heard her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and comfort her but I couldn't.
I felt so exhausted and my body felt heavy. I couldn't move as much as I tried and when she asked me to squeeze her hand, I had to use all my energy just for a small squeeze. It was hard and I didn't think I was going to be able to do it but I did and I heard the happiness in her voice.
I didn't think that I deserved to live. I hit Mia - I hit the love of my life. I sniffed so much drugs to calm myself but all it did was make matters worse. What kind of man was I? How could I slap her?
The look on her face hurt me so bad. I had never felt so guilty and disgusted with myself in my entire life. Who was I?
When she told me she hated me, I knew I deserved it but it felt like a stab each time she said it. It hurt so much but I was horrible. It was no wonder she was angry. I didn't deserve her.
I had been regaining more energy though in the last few days. I felt lighter and slightly better but I still felt exhausted and wasn't quite ready to wake up. My body wasn't letting me move. I wasn't even sure of what happened. I knew I was in a hospital but what happened to me? Was I shot or something? Either way, my body ached.
I needed to rest and get better - get better for Mia.
She needed me.
-Mia-
I abruptly sat up, beads of cold sweat all over me as I gasped. I wiped my forehead, trying to control my breathing pattern. I had my hand on my chest, as it rapidly rose and fell. I wiped my tears and sniffed before sighing.
I had another nightmare about that horrible argument between me and Vincenzo, however this time, he bled to death and his hazel eyes were widen open and gazing into mine as his soul left his body. I was freaked out and still felt claustrophobic due to the fact that I was locked in a small room in my dream and haunted by Vincenzo's ghost.
I said a prayer before slipping out my bed and going into the kitchen. I was no longer living at the maid's house, Valentina didn't want me to feel alone so she persuaded me to stay at the Rossi house so she could keep an eye on me.
I grabbed a glass of water and drank it, the cold liquid slowly sliding down my throat, making me feel cold inside. I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I had a headache so I decided to take some paracetamol.
What was the amount to take again? I asked myself as I looked at the packet that was out of it's small box.
Three? No. . Two? . .maybe . .
I wasn't thinking straight and didn't want to make any big decisions so I only took one and walked back upstairs, passing April's room and stopped, noticing that her bed was empty. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused.
Where was she?
I glanced into her cousins' room but she wasn't there so I went into Vincenzo's room and there she was, laying on the floor with some of his clothes around her.
There was his shirt pressed against her chest, slightly soaked by her tears as she cried silently.
I walked over and kneeled down, shaking her awake. "April?" I whispered as she woke and sat down, pulling her onto my lap and cradling her.
"I want daddy!"
I kissed her forehead, pulling her closer. Neither of us had told April or Ariana and Alex about their father and uncle. Leonardo and Dante thought we should tell them about what happened to Vincenzo but we weren't so sure. We didn't want them to come to that dreadful hospital.
"Daddy is away working. He'll be back soon, April," I told her quietly as she wiped her eyes with her small hands. "No. Daddy in hospital, Alex told me." I frowned. How did Alexander find out?
I felt guilty for my lie. "I know. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be sad, April. Daddy wouldn't want to see you upset."
"Mama gone, papa gone."
"No, no, April. Daddy is still here. He'll be alright," I said, blinking back my tears. "He'll be alright," I whispered more to myself.
I carried her to her father's bed and lay down next to her under the covers, kissing her forehead and telling her to sleep and have sweet dreams.
I squeezed my eyes closed, praying that Vincenzo would be alright in my head before drifting away into a more relaxing sleep.
I woke in an empty bed feeling better. I yawned, stretching before going into my room and through the en suite to shower.
I changed into some black leggings and and a grey hoodie with some boots before going downstairs to see the Val and Dante kissing in the corridor. They snapped their heads towards me once they saw me. "Hey, Mia," Dante said, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Sorry," Valentina sheepishly apologised, looking away from Dante.
"It's fine," I replied genuinely with a small smile. "Where's April?"
"She's playing in the living room with Ariana," Valentina responded, "how are you doing?" She asked, her eyes concerned.
"I'm fine, don't worry, Val," I told her, smiling. "April wants to see her father. Alex told her about him. Can she?" I asked, hopeful. It would really Please April, I didn't like seeing her sad.
Dante winced, "I don't know. I don't think Vincenzo would want her to see him in that state. What if she got scared?"
He was right. As attractive as Vincenzo was, he looked like a mess even though he wasn't shot in his face. He had scars on his face from surgery that were healing quickly but were still visible. I didn't want April upset.
"You're right," I said, looking down. Valentina shook her head, "let her see him anyway. No matter what, that's her father. April won't resent him."
Dante looked weary but agreed so later that day, I took April to the mafia hospital.
"Is papa here?" April asked as I stood in front of the door. I nodded, scared to go in myself. I didn't want to start crying in front of April. Whenever I saw him, I would cry from guilt, anger, sadness. I was distraught. Seeing Vincenzo like that hurt me badly.
"April," I said, bending down so I was the same level as her as she sucked her thumb. "Daddy is in there. He's a little bit sick and sleepy but if you talk, he can still hear you, okay?" I told her, carefully as she nodded, "he might look a little bit different but papa is still there. That's the same daddy, okay sweetheart?" She nodded again and I held her hand as I pushed the door open, seeing the doctor write a few things on his paper.
He looked up at us, smiling. "Any change?" I asked as April stared at her father on the bed. The doctor grinned, "he's improving rapidly. He's getting better." I smiled widely as he left the room and closed the door behind him.
I walked over sitting down and pulling April onto my lap. "That's daddy?"
I nodded, "yes, honey, that's papa." She nodded wearily before laying her head on my chest while I gazed longingly at Vincenzo. I missed him badly. How I yearned to see those hazel eyes again.
"Hey, Vincenzo," I said, taking his hand and rubbing it gently. "I'm glad you're getting better and holding on. I'm so proud of you," I told him, with tears in my eyes. "Keep going, you're almost there, okay? Soon, I'll be to see those attractive eyes of yours." I felt him squeeze my hand faintly and I smiled, rubbing my thumb over it.
"I brought April with me because she really wanted to see you," I said, "April, do you want to talk to daddy?"
April hesitated before getting off me and taking his hand and kissing it. ". .Hi, dada. ." She quietly said as she watched him in his sleeping state. "I miss you. Why you sleeping? It morning time," April said, confused a little.
She gasped and turned her head to me, "daddy squeeze my hand!" I smiled widely, "Keep talking, darling."
She nodded and turned and continued to talk to her father for a while before I took her back to the house so she could go to school a little later.
I sat in the quiet kitchen with my head in my hands, sighing. Somehow, I was exhausted but didn't feel like sleeping.
"Mia!"
I snapped my head to the door to see Valentina there, panting as if she had been on a run.
"It's Vincenzo. .he's awake!"
I sprinted past her, going into the building and into the infirmary, pushing past people and zig zagging my way past furniture and yelling multiple 'sorrys' on my way there.
I didn't know how I felt.
Was I happy? Sad? Scared?
I couldn't think in that moment, all I knew was that I had to see Vincenzo.
I don't think I had ever ran so fast in my life.
I finally got to his door, breathing heavily as I stopped in front of it. I was suddenly nervous. What if it all went wrong? I decided that it was now or never. Although I was freaking out inside, I shakily pushed the door open to see a group of mafia men talking to a closed eyed Vincenzo.
His vibrant hazel eyes opened and opened and immediately locked with mine, giving me tingles on the inside as I bit my lip.
"Mia," he croaked out as tears tingled in my eyes. I covered my mouth, choking on a sob as his men packed their things and left the room, closing the door behind them.
"Vincenzo," I whispered, tears rolling down my face as I cried for what seemed to be the millionth time in the past two weeks.
He winced before cracking a lopsided smile, "I've missed you."
___
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