THE COLOR FADED FROM ESTELLA'S hair and for the first time in her life, she lost control of the one thing she always had.
Her once vibrant locks turned into a dull blonde as tears streamed down her porcelain cheeks. The girl shuffled in past the portrait into the Gryffindor Common Room.
Inside the room was only a few people as it had grown quite late. James Potter was huddled in the corner with Lily Evans, studying for the test in Transfiguration after break. In the middle of the room was Peter Pettigrew and Marlene McKinnon in a intense battle of wizard chess.
Estella didn't seem to notice the others in the room, she barely noticed anything at all because she felt was in living in some kind of blur that wasn't real life. It was numb, dull even.
"Estella!" James Potter's voice finally snapped her out of the trance. She glanced over at her best friend to find him in company of her favorite redhead. Both of them were looking at her with curious, worried eyes.
"What?" Her voice was so quiet that James barely heard it.
James stood up from his place with Lily,"I'm sorry, Lily, I am, but...she needs me. I know I asked for your help, and I do need it, but this is more important."
The girl just nodded,"Just make sure she's okay."
Estella's bottom lip quivered as James approached her, wrapping his arm around her. The tears started to flow again and she wasn't exactly sure how she was gonna explain it all to him.
"You want to go to my dorm?"
"No!" Estella answered quickly,"I can't...He's up there, I can't see him."
"Who?" James asked before it finally dawned on him,"Remus? What happened?"
Estella shook her head vigorously, trying desperately to find the words as James led her out into the corridor and away from any prying eyes.
"I can't change it back," she whimpered, motioning towards her hair. The way she says it breaks his heart,"It's the one thing I could always do, I always had control of it....and now it's gone."
"You've been gone for hours, Estella, I thought you guys went to Hogsmeade, he came back an hour ago, I need you to tell me what happened," James cupped her face, trying to get her to center in on him instead of panicking.
"We went to Hogsmeade, he was so great all day and then I went to get some more snacks and when I came back, he was gone. Teddy was there, and he told me that he got into it with Remus and he stormed off," Estella explained, taking a deep breath to stop herself from choking on her tears.
"It's okay, hey, just relax. It's just me," He assured her soothingly.
"So I went after him, and at this point, it started to get dark. I found him the corridor downstairs, and he was so upset because he lost control and I just wanted to make him feel better because I love him, oh god," Her head fell onto James' shoulder, sniffling into his shirt.
It took her a couple moments to compose herself before she could continue. James was more than patient.
"He kissed me, James," She whispered miserably.
"He did what?" James shouted in utter shock.
"It was so amazing and so right," Estella wiped the tears from her cheek."But then he said the only reason he kissed me was because I was there and it was moment of weakness. He told me that he couldn't do this, not with me, and that all we'll ever be in friends."
James pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close and letting her cry into his shoulder."I'm so sorry, Ella. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. If we were at home, I would set up that muggle film playing thing and we could build a blanket fort. Just eat snacks, cry, and cuddle."
"I wish we had gone home for the holidays," She whispered, her voicing cracking as she spoke.
"You would have still been miserable, and you wanted to spend it with the lads and Evans. You stayed for Evans, remember?"
"Yeah, I did," She let out a deep sigh,"What am I gonna do, James? I can't see him, I don't want to drag you lads in the middle. You love him, and he needs you too."
"He's one of my best mates, I can be friends with both of you, don't worry, okay?" He smiled slightly,"He broke your heart, but you still worry about him."
"I love him, I already said that," Estella reminded him sadly.
"It's time to move on, I believe," James told her.
She mumbled,"I don't know how, he's the only person I've ever thought about that way."
"Maybe Sirius can help, maybe play match maker and just get back to meet people. What about Theodore?"
"I'm not his type," Estella chuckled sadly,"I don't think I'm ready to date."
"Well, just work up to it," James told her,"We should head back to the Common Room, last thing we need is for you to get in trouble."
Estella nodded slowly, following James to the living area. Lily was waiting in the Common Room for them. When she caught sight of the broken girl, she ran her friend and wrapped her arms around her.
"I love you, Estella, I don't know what happened, but I'm here, and you don't have to talk about it, but I have tons of chocolate and we can go upstairs and not come out until break is over," Lily smothered her.
"Yeah, I'd like that, Lils," She murmured,"I'm gonna head up. James can tell you what happened, I don't want to talk about it anymore."
ღ ღ ღ
Remus Lupin didn't see Estella for the rest of the holidays. Of course, he had seen the boys, but things were weird because no one addressing the fact that Estella was actively avoiding Remus.
To make matters worse, she seemed to glue herself Theodore Fletcher and Sirius Black. Remus wasn't sure which was worse at this point because every since Sirius admitted to having a crush on her in first year and then later told the boys he also liked in third year, Remus felt a ugly feeling in his chest. Maybe because Sirius was obviously attractive and charming, and maybe Estella deserved someone like him.
Once everyone returned to school and the classes resumed, Remus found himself in the Great Hall with Peter Pettigrew and James Potter. He didn't even bother to ask where Sirius was because if James wasn't with Estella, Sirius was.
"Stop stabbing your sausage, Moony," Peter poked at Remus' side,"Are you ever going to tell us what happened?"
James glanced up at Remus,"It's none of our business, Wormtail,"He interrupted,"Stella doesn't want to put us in the middle, so we need to stay out of it."
"That's the last thing I want, for you to get in the middle. We're all friends, and just because we had a falling out doesn't mean things have to change to much," Remus tried.
"You're right," James murmured before sighing, glancing around before looking at Remus in defeat."Look, mate, I'm sorry if I've been a little weird. I can't pretend I'm not a little angry, you could have done it differently, but I also know how you felt about her, I just need some time before you can vent to me."
"I know, I know, Pete, here, has been helping me," Remus told him,"I just, I miss her, and I know that isn't fair."
"You know, she's got asked out on another date," Peter murmured,"I heard Nolan Jones was going to ask her out."
"Oh fuck, no, absolutely not,"James and Remus both blurted out.
"Jones is honestly the worst person I've ever met and simultaneously one of the nicer people in this school," Remus admitted.
"He's not real, he's completely fake. He doesn't have a personality, except for being a player," James added,"There is no way she will date him, she'll say no."
"I don't know about that..."Sirius told them, clearly overhearing the conversation as he approached,"She thinks he's fit and he's really charming towards her, Jones' has had a thing for her since last year. Regulus is friends with him, apparently he was hoping that Reg would link him to her through me."
"He's a tosser,"James stared,"Do not let him near her, Padfoot. I'd rather her date Fletcher or one of Prewetts before she dates Nolan Jones."
"Well...it might be a little late for that,"Sirius admitted,"He was going to talk to her when I left the library."
Remus sighed frustratedly,"This is all my fault, none of this would have happened if I hadn't let Fletcher get me. If I hadn't ran off, we would have never talked about our feelings."
"It's better she knows now, so she can get over it," Sirius input,"I mean, she'll start to move on and so you will."
But what if Remus didn't want that?
ღ ღ ღ
"Hey,"Nolan Jones whispered, sliding into the seat across from Estella in the library.
She glanced up from the Ancient Runes text she had been going over. Well, more like staring at blankly trying not cry.
"Hi?"She uttered back, closing the book.
"I..Uh, I heard about your fight with Lupin, and I just wanted you to know that he's a total prick for that,"Nolan told her,"And if you ever want to get away from those boys, I would be quite happy to be in your company, if you're interested."
"Oh..."Estella smiled awkwardly, not really sure what to say. For some reason, the news that Remus rejected Estella has resulted in proposals like this. She was shocked to say the least, but the only one she had actually been interested in was at this one.
"Was that too forward?"Nolan asked with a chuckle.
"No, no,"Estella told him,"I'm just not sure I'm there yet, you know? I'm not very fun to hang out with right now."
"Well, when you think you're ready...come find me, okay?"
"What? You gonna wait for me?"Estella joked.
"Girls like you are worth the wait."