Alex let out a melodramatic sigh as he looked down at his grade. How the hell did he get such a bad grade on this? He worked so hard! He didn't sleep for a whole night because he was working to get this paper done. So it wasn't my best work, he thought, remembering he was particularly distracted that night. John showed up, uninvited, when Eliza and Philip were spending the night a few doors away with Angelica. They do that when Alex is a bit preoccupied with school.
He knew it was wrong. It was terribly wrong. Alex should have learned with Maria, er- Peggy. It was a blessing that Eliza stayed with him then. And he couldn't shake the feelings with Angelica, either- he was awful.
Alex remembered once, before he was adopted by the Washington's, when he was with his mother.
She was arguing with his dad, about him. Alex knew it was about him.
"He's my son too, Rachel!" His father, James, screamed.
"Why the hell are you so sure about that?" Rachel responded with a sarcastic smirk. Sweat was on her brow, she was heated from the argument.
It was silent for a very, very, long time, and Alex realized what his mother meant. James wasn't his father, was he? Or she wasn't sure?
It was then Alex decided he never wanted to end up like that. Sleeping around with so many people, having so many relationships at once he didn't even know how many children he had.
But here he is. Like her, and he couldn't even drink legally yet.
Alex, in the public, held himself to a high esteem. He bragged and spoke up and shared every little thing that crossed his mind. How many people know that that's an act? That he really was this kid, this young kid, with terrible issues with intimacy and settling down?
He knew it sounded cliche.
Every time Alex thought about this, about how he had feelings and fears and problems, he would push it away. Swallow the feelings and continue on with this act. He couldn't remember the last time he cried, out of sadness other than joy.
He wondered about who saw the real him. And to be honest, it was probably only John.
His beautiful, innocent, Eliza.
How could he be so in love with two different people?
---
A nice, quick lil' update for ya'll. I thought of Alex and how little his feelings were thrown into play. And how very little people understood him, I guess? I know it was like 200-plus years ago and I'm feeling sympathy for a cheating man. I'm sorry. Anyways, just a kind of thing to say, but I suck at french and I used google translate and I'm working on re-writing it! Thank you for people that pointed that out to me, I am open to any constructive criticism!