Not Legends of Tomorrow but whatever. I didn't want to go to bed angry so...
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen
Caitlin Snow had never been a particularly open person. Due to several cases of bullying in her childhood, she had learnt to keep herself closed off in order to protect herself, should anyone try to ever attack her emotionally or physically ever again.
She was the queen of a kingdom of isolation. No one seemed to care much. They just thought she was a huge bitch. But with everything she'd been through, the bullying, getting kidnapped more than once, losing the love of her life not once but twice....how could she not be?
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
For the past several weeks, Catlin had been struggling with her new meta human abilities. She tried her best to contain them, to keep them secret from the rest of the team. She even took Cisco's meta human cuffs to try and block them. But she couldn't do it. She wasn't strong enough to keep herself from going full on Killer Frost. She'd almost killed her friends. The only reason she hadn't was because Barry had somehow managed to talk some sense into her.
Barry Allen. He was such a good friend. She still wondered what she could have possibly done to deserve his friendship. And Cisco too, even as she was still mad at him for telling the team about her abilities...his intentions were good. He was a good friend.
Caitlin sighed and looked out the window, watching the wind howl and toss around the snow outside. She couldn't help but to feel as though this was a real life replication of what she was feeling inside. She just felt so much rage and hatred and hurt. Everything sucked right now. She hardly even knew her own identity anymore.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Caitlin thought back to before the team knew. She had thought hiding it would be better for everyone. That it would somehow keep them safer. Happier.
Killer Frost was cold, murderous. Caitlin Snow was kind, generous. She was a good girl. Weak, but good. She had to be. She always had to be.
Since losing Ronnie the first time, she'd always concealed her feelings. Maybe she would be less likely to get hurt if she just closed herself off completely. And considering her powers...Well if she stayed closed off than maybe she wouldn't hurt anyone else either. It was best for everyone if they didn't find out.
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
But of course Cisco had decided otherwise and told the entire team, before she was ready to share that knowledge with them. So, now they knew and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
And, she supposed, that's partly why Killer Frost took over for a while. She was just so done with everything. Life. People. Metas. And so she just let the cold, monstrous beast take control of her body without any regard for any one else. She regretted it now, of course, but at the time she really didn't care.
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
She smirked, as she remembered the feeling of Killer Frost taking over for the first time. For the first five minutes she actually enjoyed it. It was thrilling to watch people cower in fear because of her. To do exactly what she wanted because they were afraid of what she'd do.
She didn't care what anyone would say about her for once. She was just....free for a moment. So, she let it go on like a raging storm, desperate to keep that feeling of freedom going.
She'd buried people alive under ten feet of snow and ice. She'd frozen them to death in solid blocks of ice. Killer Frost made the world a cold, cold place....and for several frightening moments Caitlin Snow didn't mind. The cold had never really bothered her much anyway.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go)
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Caitlin had let Killer Frost take over because she was weak. She couldn't hold her back anymore. She was tired of holding on all the time, tired of trying to be strong when she knew it was pointless.
And so she had just let go. She gave in to the killer begging and pleading to come out. She let her cause chaos and destruction all throughout Central City....and in spite of that her friends never gave up on her. Even after everything she did.
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
When she was Killer Frost she was unstoppable. Nothing could touch her. Not her enemies. Not her friends. Not even her fears.
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
For the first time, Catlin wasn't afraid of her abilities. She was actually quite excited to see what she could do. How far she was able to go without wearing herself out. As it turned out she could actually go quite far.
At the time she didn't have any worries. She didn't care if what she was doing was immoral, wrong. She didn't have any rules what so ever. Caitlin Snow was completely free to do what ever the hell she wanted.
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I stay
Let the storm rage on
She remembered soaring through the air, as she sprayed ice below her feet like a surfboard. She one with the wind and the sky.
She just let everything go all at once. All her pent up rage from her mother's neglect and her bullies crap, all her grief about Ronnie, all her hurt from being tricked and kidnapped by countless villains. Everything. Killer Frost was making a stand for Caitlin Snow, because no one else would. And she had planned on staying, until Barry brought Caitlin back to her senses.
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
Killer Frost was a mad woman. She was scary, as she unleashed her powers on Central City. Slowly, Caitlin began to realize her soul was quickly spiraling out of control, like frozen fractals flying through the air in a snow storm....Snow storm. Yes. That's exactly what it was. Which was kind of funny, because her name was Snow...
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
Caitlin had begun to fear Killer Frost. She never wanted to become her ever again....But her friends had forgiven her, and she was on her way to forgiving herself too. The past was the past, she supposed, and so long as you genuinely want forgiveness you can always find that in a true friend. She smiled softly to herself. She was so lucky to have Cisco and Barry as friends. She wasn't sure what she'd do without them.
Let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on
Slowly, she was learning to let the things Killer Frost had done go. She didn't define Caitlin Snow as a person. Of course, she'd need her help every once in awhile, when the team met a stubborn meta....but that was okay. Caitlin couldn't go back to being the perfect girl everyone thought she was....but that was okay. She'd figure out who she was meant to be soon enough. Until then, the eternal storm that was raging between herself and Killer Frost would continue, until one of them took control for good.