Ethan's P.O.V
"What wait... your dad's gay. How do you know that?" He asked.
"Well, his pastor just told me and he-he medicated or something I-I I don't know but he... lost it along the way. I'm-I don't know the details. I was born of a lie! A-a love-less marriage. He lied to himself! To my mum! To me..." My voice grew weak and my tears fell free.
"Hey, hey, look at me. Ethan..." Alex lifted my face to his and our eyes met.
My stomach filled with butterflies and my chest filled with warmth once again. Stop feeling like this! Stop!
"Think at yourself for a second, think of your father, he decided that he wanted to change who he was for the sake of something unbeknown to us but you chose to embrace who you are for yourself and for others. With your father a decision he hurt people, Dianna, and you. Two amazing people who are constantly being victimized by his terrible decisions. The fact that he chose to hurt people by pretending to someone else has nothing to do with the kind of person you are. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it, you're too good for him for many reasons, accepting who you are is just one of them." Why?
Why is it that he can always make me feel better?
Always.
No matter what state of mind I'm currently in he always make me feel better. He always changes my perspective of myself. He changes the way I see everything, the way I see him.
He smiled at me, a nice smile that hid a touch of sadness.
I looked at him, the way his eyes would squint a little when he smiled and his eyes reflected the light of the room brightly. The way his cheeks held a tinge of red tint, the way his cheeks contoured his face and his-no don't look down there. His- no- his lips with the rosy pink... lips... that smile... the way they curve up gently... the smile... What if I? Lean in... maybe just a tiny... little... bit. My eyes closed the closer I got and he didn't move so I closed the last bit of space attaching my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. He placed his hands on my sides and pulled me closer as well. I stood on the tips of my toes to reach his face as a swarm of butterflies violently overpowered my stomach and the heat in my chest intensified by a thousand degrees, it felt as though the heat would burn me. My lips yearned for more and began to tingle every time our lips would come together. I could feel my cheeks heating up as a strong feeling of euphoria flooded my senses. For a second-- a minute, maybe two it was all okay until... Andy.
I pulled away, unwrapped my arms from his neck and ran around and away from him as fast as I could. My breathing began getting unsteady and not just due to the kiss, I was literally running so fast my breath couldn't catch up to me.
"Ethan, stop fucking running!" Oh no... Meg.
I stopped in my tracks.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed, "What about Andy, did you even think about him? What the hell? An-and Luis?"
"Meg, I'm scared. I-I don't know why I did that I- he- we..." I sighed.
"Dude, look at yourself, you're all flustered and...do you like him?"
"I don't know. That's the problem." I said.
"Well there shouldn't have even been a problem, you should have told me. I could've helped. Now, now that you've don't this, one of them is gonna get hurt and it's completely up to you to decide that."
"Tell Jax I'm walking home." I sighed walking around her.
And I did, I began a long walk, but not home, my house is too far away, instead I walked to a nearby store and called an uber. When the car arrived I took my phone out and put in my ear buds and listened to music.
When I got home I noticed my mum's car was still not here... thank goodness. I opened the front door and rushed upstairs to my room slamming the door shut locking it, removed my tie, unbuttoned the first two button of my shirt and jumped face down on my bed. I can't believe that happened. Meg is right, someone is bound to get hurt. Andy is a nice guy, he's funny and charismatic, and caring but Alex has this thing about him, he doesn't have to be anything for my to care about him, but he's nice... really nice, gentle yet strong, fun yet serious, he's outgoing yet timid, he's... everything at once and it's really confusing. Being near him makes my heart race, he makes me feel nervous yet confident. But Andy is my boyfriend and I'd be lying if I said I don't care about him. I don't want him to get hurt as for Alex well I'm not sure what I feel for him. He was my boss, now he's my friend and... I like him a lot too. Wait, like is a strong word. I meant I also care about him. Or said what did I mean I-I don't know.
"What if he didn't make it back? What if he was stolen by a man is a mysterious white van and we never see him again?" The familiar voice of Meg rang downstairs.
"What happened at the wedding anyways that caused him to run off like that?" Jax asked.
"That's for him to tell you. Ethan!"
"Leave me alone." My mumbled my head still down on my pillow, what I didn't realize were the warm tears that fell down my cheeks.
"Oh thanks God, how didn't you get here so fast?" Asked Meg though my door.
"Uber." I sighed.
"Hey, Ethan, what happened?" I got up and rushed to open the door.
I saw Jax and Meg and behind them was a nervous looking Alex.
"I kissed Alex, like so." I said pushing past and attaching my lips to Alex's again.
I'd done it once what was the harm now? I'd have to tell Andy either way.
We kept our lips together for what could've been two seconds or two minutes before I pulled away going back to my door.
"Can I be alone now?" I said trying not to acknowledge the burning in my chest and cheeks.
Jax stood there wide-eyed with his jaw hanging down slightly. I looked at Meg who gave me this a look as if to say 'I'm sorry you're going through this.'
"I'll call you." I said looking at Meg and closing myself into my room once again.
Alex's P.O.V
"He just- he kissed you, for like two minutes, and you- you-"
"You're making him feel worse. I'm sure he can hear though the door." I whispered to Jax who seemed to be enjoying what's going on as if he won something.
"We're gonna go Alex. I'm sorry this is all happening. I'm also sorry for him." She said pointing at Jax who just looked at her like, 'what did I do?'
She dragged him down the stairs and all I heard was the door close before I got closer to Ethan's door. I could hear faint sobbing sounds.
Why?
Why did he do that?
I know at one point I wanted- but not like that. He looks so hurt. I'm not gonna lie the kisses he gave me were by far the best I've ever experienced but it's not worth it if he's getting hurt or that it's hurting Andrew, from what I've seen as seems like a nice guy. He just beat me to the guy I like.
I want to knock on his door. I want to stop his tears. I want to comfort him. But I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now. After all he must be beyond confused right now.
I walked away from his door. Frankly in starting to worry about my constant need to be around him to comfort him to make him feel lo- c-cared for. Y-yeah. That. I just can't help it though. It's as though my mind has built a section dedicated to him and his well being. It's so unhealthy.
I need to make him feel better... but how?
March 2, 2018