Samantha was awakened by her ringtone blaring in her ear. She wasn't even sure when she'd taken it off of silent mode. It took her a minute to emerge from the haze of the intense dream she was having and tap the answer button. She didn't even read the screen before she did.
"Hello?"
"Sam," The voice was male and Irish and speaking so fast that it took Samantha the entirety of his first paragraph to realize it was Niall.
She ran her hand over her eyes,
"What?" She hadn't heard a single word he said past her name.
"Are you at Harry's?"
Samantha's eyes flew open then. She frantically looked around to find her alarm clock. Was she late? When her eyes landed on the clock that read 6:00 am she relaxed, she still had a half an hour before she even had to be up. She pushed herself up with one hand,
"No. It's 6 in the morning."
"I know. I'm headed over there. Can ya meet me?"
"Niall, what is going on?"
"He texted me last night. Said I can't."
"I can't? What's that mean?"
"I don't know." Niall responded, "I'm headed over there now t'talk t'him. He's not anwerin' his phone."
The fear that tore through Samantha's body made her heart skip a beat. She untangled herself from the covers and immediately walked towards her underwear drawer to grab some before she went into the shower,
"Ok, I'll be there in an hour."
She didn't wait to hear his response. She tossed her phone onto the bed and jogged towards the bathroom.
-----------------------
Niall was leaning against his car when Samantha walked up to the house. As he saw her approach he walked towards her, gesturing up to Harry's house. Samantha could see the house was closed up again like a tomb. The curtains she'd opened were closed and the house was void of life.
"He's not answerin'. I can't get in." Niall informed her.
"What did he do last night? Did you talk to him?" She asked as she pulled her keys out.
Niall shook his head,
"No. What did you guys do yesterday?"
Samantha's heart sank when she remembered the tabloid. She stopped, turning towards Niall with her head down,
"The tabloid..."
"What tabloid?" Niall asked.
"A tabloid came out. They said something about me replacing Gwen."
Niall's eyes widened,
"What?"
"But he seemed fine." Samantha rushed on, "We had lunch, we took Rufus out. He was fine when I left last night."
"Well he's not fine now, that's for sure."
Samantha finally got the door open, she burst in stopping when she saw Harry standing in front of her looking just as surprised as she did. He was holding an empty plate, clearly on his way to the kitchen. He swallowed whatever final remnant of food was in his mouth,
"Something wrong?" He asked when he looked between her and Niall.
Samantha was still quiet. She was so shocked to see him and so relieved he wasn't curled up into a ball that she didn't know what to say.
Niall stepped out from behind her,
"You're not answerin' your phone."
Harry nodded. He looked bored as he turned into the kitchen,
"Your powers of observation are staggering, Niall."
Niall followed him, leaving Samantha standing in the foyer,
"Why aren't ya answerin' your phone? What was that text last night?"
Harry set his plate down in the sink,
"Read some tweets last night," He started, "Wasn't good."
"So what did 'I can't' mean? You're not gonna record with us anymore?"
Harry threw his hands up,
"C'mon Niall! You can't expect me to get out there again. People hate me for what happened when Gwen died."
"We don't." Niall pointed out, "People will get over it."
"Most of the tweets I read were from last night. And did you see the morning shows this morning? They're discussing it too. Along with that damn tabloid story. The going story seems to be I don't give a shit about anyone but myself and ya know what? I can't blame anyone for thinking that."
"Twitter is the tenth level of hell, Harry. Ya know it is. You and I used t'talk about it in the group."
Harry nodded,
"Yeah, but now it's being discussed on morning shows."
Samantha walked into the kitchen just as he finished. It had taken her a moment to regain herself out of the fear that he'd been hurt. She stayed quiet, walking towards the island while Niall and Harry kept talking. Niall was trying his best to convince Harry he was mistaken but it just wasn't happening. Samantha pulled up her phone. She tapped the Twitter icon and she searched Harry Styles.
She was dismayed when she saw the first few tweets were exactly what he said. She backed out and instead looked at some of the trends. She tapped on the trend SupportHarryStyles and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a barrage of supportive tweets.
"Harry Styles is still the love of my life." She read out loud, interrupting Niall. Both boys looked over at her, "Harry Styles lost his fiance, the pain must have been unbearable. I support him returning."
Samantha looked up at Harry, watching as he dropped his eyes. She continued on,
"I can't wait to be front row at a Harry Styles show again. No one makes me feel the way he does."
Harry shook his head,
"It doesn't-"
"I will always be his fan. I will always support his career. He deserves our love." Samantha set her phone on the countertop. She shoved it towards Harry, "Read them. There's millions. What you read last night, those idiots on TV, they aren't your fans." Samantha gestured to the phone, "These people are your fans."
Harry didn't move to take her phone. He drew his eyes up to meet Samantha's,
"It's not that simple."
"It is that simple." She challenged, "You're making it complicated because you want a reason to retreat back into the cocoon you created for yourself in this house." Harry's mouth closed, his eyes flashed a bit but not with anger.
Niall stayed silent while she spoke. Clearly nothing he said was making a dent but Samantha seemed to be making some headway.
Samantha rounded the counter to walk towards Harry,
"I know you're scared that you can't handle this. But you can. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."
Harry stared back at her for a moment before he dropped his eyes. He wanted to yell, tell her she didn't know what she was talking about, but he knew she did. Samantha knew him better than anyone at the moment.
He lifted his eyes to Niall's,
"Had to open your mouth huh?"
-----------------------
Samantha walked in from the backyard a few hours later. Rufus was in need of some serious time playing catch. She enjoyed watching the dog happily chase after the frisbee and then trot back to her with it in his mouth. She knelt down to scratch his ears once they were back inside,
"Go eat huh? Probably no run today...it's raining."
Rufus licked his chops but otherwise didn't seem to care. He trotted over to his food bowl and started to eat. Samantha looked up to see the basement door was open,
"Harry?"
The last she'd seen of him after Niall had left was his back as he walked downstairs to his studio. She took a few steps towards the door,
"Harry?"
She was met with silence and the lights were all off. Was this some kind of mood thing? Was he in complete darkness down there? Recording some angsty ballad?
"Hey."
Samantha screamed at the top of her lungs as she whirled around to see Harry standing in the doorway of the master bedroom. She grabbed at her heart,
"Oh my God!"
Harry couldn't help but laugh while she calmed down,
"I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"
She swallowed as she closed the basement door and turned to him,
"Yeah. What are you doing?" She asked, suddenly realizing the master bedroom door was open.
Harry gestured into the room,
"Figure it's...time." He said, a deep breath blowing out of his mouth, "Need to get the room cleaned out." He opened a trash bag, "Wanna help?"
Samantha tried to keep her shock under wraps,
"Yeah. Um...yeah." She said as she walked towards the room.
She followed Harry into the room, glancing around at the mess. Harry was shoving things into the trash bag, almost robotically. Like he just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible and get it over with.
Samantha walked towards him. She grabbed his wrist, his hand full of a few articles of Gwen's clothing. When Harry looked up at her, she shook her head,
"Not like this." When he only blinked in response she kept going, "These were her things Harry. They don't belong in a trash bag."
Harry took a breath. He looked down at the half full bag,
"I don't-" He took another breath, this one shakier than the last, "I don't know how to do this."
Samantha moved her hand from his wrist down to his hand. She squeezed gently,
"We'll do it together." She glanced around at the closet, instantly realizing some of these items must be expensive. She turned back to Harry, "What do you say...we put this stuff in some of your suitcases...folded...and we take them to a battered women's shelter. They give those women clothes to help them start new lives." Samantha shrugged, "It would be another away she was helping people. I think she would've liked that."
Harry's eyes lifted to hers. Soft and a bit glassy with tears he clearly wasn't going to allow to get any further than that. He nodded gently.
Samantha squeezed his hand again. She turned to go get the suitcases, well aware Harry was watching her the entire way.
-----------------------
It took them at least an hour to get through just Gwen's clothing. The rest of the room was still a mess but Samantha could tell that Harry was approaching the end of his rope. The last few articles of clothing were gowns or fancy dresses. It was clear Harry was having some pretty intense flashbacks.
She helped him load the last of the suitcases into the back of his car and then got into the passenger seat. The entire ride to the shelter was in silence. Samantha was far too concerned with his state of mind to make him talk about anything. And it was clear he didn't want to get into it anyway.
When they got to the shelter, he held the door for her. Samantha knew he wouldn't say a word while they were there.
A woman who looked to be about 30 years old approached them,
"Can I help you?"
"We have four suitcases full of clothing to donate."
She smiled, glancing up at Harry. He refused to look at either of them. He kept his body turned towards the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. She looked back at Samantha,
"Oh well that's amazing. Do you need help to bring them inside?"
Samantha nodded,
"Sure. That would be-" She stopped when Harry turned and walked out of the building. She watched him angrily walk across the parking lot and then stop. Samantha looked back at the woman, "That would be great."
The woman nodded. She curiously shot a glance at Harry and then looked back at Samantha,
"We'll be right out then."
Samantha smiled gratefully. She turned to walk outside. She stopped at Harry's car, reaching forward to open the back lift gate. She smiled when four teenage boys came running towards the car,
"Those." She directed them to the four suitcases in the back.
She didn't wait for them to take them, turning and walking to where Harry was standing. His hands were shoved in his pockets as far as they could go. The tension in his shoulders could be seen all the way from where she was standing. She took a shaky breath,
"Harry-"
Harry whirled around,
"I'm fine."
He didn't look fine, but Samantha didn't push.
"Ok." She answered.
Harry started to angrily pace back and forth,
"So what if they still smelled like her. So what if I can remember the last time I saw her in each and every piece...so what...right?" He turned to walk back, his anger ramping up with each step, "It's fine. I'll get rid of it and then I don't have to think about her anymore. Isn't that how it works?"
"No." Samantha said, shaking her head as she walked forward, "That's not how it works. Those are her things, Harry. That's not her soul or her heart...those are just belongings. Who she was, what she was to you...those things will stay with you no matter what physical things you give away."
Harry stopped, his eyes falling on her while his chest heaved with deep breaths. He waited for a moment before speaking,
"It hurts." He admitted, "It's like I'm giving pieces of her away."
"I know it hurts." Samantha turned back to look at his truck. The teenage boys were putting the now empty suitcases back in the back. She looked back at Harry, "It's going to hurt."
She offered her hand to him. Harry stared down at her hand for what seemed like forever before he lifted his hand to take hers. She threaded her fingers through his while they slowly made their way back to his truck.
Much like the ride to the shelter, the ride home was silent as well. Only this time Samantha could feel the anger echoing off of Harry. She wasn't sure why she felt like it was her fault, but it did feel like she had some culpability here. She was, after all, the one who made the suggestion.
Once they got back to his house, she gathered her things quickly. Harry came in from the garage just as she was making her way towards the front door,
"Are you leaving?" He asked as he walked by.
Samantha nodded,
"I have to uh...I should...I mean I think you-"
Harry turned to look at her,
"Can you stay?" He asked, his eyes dropping to the floor, "I don't really want to...be alone." He laughed softly, his face relaxing then, "Ya know."
Samantha's shock was evident on her face. She tried her best to relax her face but nothing helped.
Harry continued on,
"We could get delivery...or some take out somewhere." He looked back up at her, "Whatever you want."
Samantha finally regained control of her body. She nodded gently,
"Yeah. Ok sure."
Harry walked towards the kitchen,
"I think I have menus somewhere."
Now that he was out of the room Samantha devolved into a full on meltdown. She threw her arms out before running her hands into her hair as she knelt down. Holy shit were the only words she could repeat in her head.
"Do you know where the menus are?" Harry yelled from the kitchen.
Samantha quickly stood back up and righted herself. She quietly cleared her throat,
"Um...drawer next to the sink." She yelled as she walked towards the kitchen.
Harry insisted on taking Samantha home after dinner was over. He succeeded in calming down while they ate. Samantha no longer felt his anger or frustration. He did, however, close the master bedroom door before he followed her to the garage.
-----------------------
Mia looked up from the couch when Samantha walked in,
"Hey...you're late."
"Harry wanted..." Samantha let her sentence trail off, "Had some things to do."
Mia nodded. She still felt like Samantha was keeping things from her and as much as she wanted to push her to talk, she knew Samantha wouldn't.
"Ok." Mia grabbed the remote and muted the TV, "So...I've been thinking. About that whole tabloid thing." She pushed herself onto her knees, leaning her forearms onto the arm of the couch, "I think I know who might have given them the information."
Samantha finished setting down her things. She unzipped her hoodie as she turned to look at Mia,
"Really? Who?"
Mia took a breath. Lately she hadn't been able to accurately predict Samantha's emotions,
"Kelly."
The taking off of Samantha's hoodie slowed to a stop as she stared back at her best friend. Kelly? Was she serious? Kelly didn't know-
Samantha stopped then. Her arms falling to her sides as the realization hit her hard,
"Oh my God." She breathed out.
Mia watched as Samantha's hand went into her hair and grabbed. She waited until Samantha seemed ready to hear what she had to say,
"He caught me in the grocery store the other day. Said he was worried about you." When Samantha's eyes widened she continued, "He had the occasion to do it. He had the information. Didn't you say he was a wri-"
"Shutup." Samantha interrupted. She quickly turned to look at Mia with an apologetic look, "I'm thinking."
Mia was right. Kelly knew everything that had been put in the article. He hated Harry and was angry Samantha had decided to continue working for him.
Samantha lifted her hand,
"I can't believe...would he do this?"
Mia shrugged,
"Why wouldn't he? You said he was giving you shit about Harry a lot." Mia stood up, approaching Samantha cautiously, "Maybe he thought it wouldn't be as big of a deal as it was."
Samantha pulled her hoodie back on. She grabbed her purse,
"I'll be back."
Mia shook her head,
"Hell no, you're not doing this without me!" She called out, shoving her feet into some flip flops and grabbing her phone as she chased Samantha out the door.
-----------------------
Thankfully the coffee shop was still open when Samantha and Mia got there. Kelly was cleaning up behind the counter, his back turned to them when they walked in. He turned around when he heard the bell ring above the door alerting the employees to a customer in the store.
His face relaxed into a wide smile,
"Well hello you two. What brings you out here? Surely there are coffee shops near where you live."
Mia took a breath but kept her mouth closed, her eyes focusing on Samantha as she stared back at Kelly.
Samantha took a step towards him. Her eyes narrowed while she studied his face. He had no idea what was headed his way.
"You did it. Didn't you?" Samantha said mostly to herself but out loud.
Kelly's smile faded. He blinked,
"What?" He walked out from behind the counter towards Samantha, "Are you alright? What happened?"
When he reached out for her hand, Samantha yanked it back,
"Don't touch me." She warned, taking a few steps back.
Kelly studied her for a bit. His eyes drifted up towards Mia,
"What's she talking about?"
Mia kept quiet, stepping back towards the front door. Kelly looked back at Samantha,
"I don't know what you mean."
Samantha's chest rose and fell with deep breaths. Her anger was so overwhelming she actually felt like she might punch him and she'd never hit another human being in her life. She glared daggers into his head,
"The tabloid...you wrote it. Didn't you?"
Kelly's face changed. His mouth closed into a tight line,
"Samantha-"
"What better way to get a job being a writer than to start at a disgusting tabloid telling lies. Holden Caulfield would be impressed." She seethed.
Kelly shook his head,
"He said he wasn't gonna tell you." He whispered under his breath.
Samantha's eyes widened,
"He knew? He knew you did this?"
Kelly took a step towards her,
"You have to listen to me."
"I don't want to hear it!" She yelled, causing two women in the shop to look up from their cups of coffee.
Kelly took another step towards her,
"I did it for you. So you would see that he doesn't care about you. Did he blame you for it?"
Samantha shook her head angrily,
"No, he doesn't blame me at all. He knows I didn't do it. He knows I didn't have a thing to do with it. You moronic idiot."
"He's using you, Samantha." Kelly reasoned, "Once he decides he's over his fiance he'll throw you in the garbage just like he did everyone else."
"You don't know anything about him!" Samantha yelled back.
Everyone in the shop was looking at them now. Samantha didn't care though. She charged forward in her accusation,
"What did they give you?"
Mia saw the announcement for Kelly's going away party behind the counter. She snorted out a laugh,
"Looks like he got a job."
Samantha's eyes widened,
"You sold me out for a job?"
"No, I didn't sell you out. I told you...I did this so you would see-"
"Ya know what I see? I see someone who let his jealousy get the best of him. I see someone who doesn't listen to anyone but just charges forward with his own agenda despite the possibility that he might not have the whole story." She shook her head, "Everyone told me to watch out for him. Mia, Jeri, You...how interesting that out of the two of you, it was you who ended up hurting me in the end."
Samantha gave him a hard stare. She turned back to the door, walking out without another word.
Mia looked back at Kelly, shaking her head as she turned to follow Samantha,
"Mia...make her understand."
Mia laughed out loud as she turned to him,
"You don't get it do you?" She studied him for a moment before she went on, "Sad...cuz you're cute."
Mia turned back around and left, jogging after Samantha already a few feet down the street. Mia grabbed her best friends shoulders,
"That was the most amazing take down I've ever seen. Let's go home and do a shot."
Samantha shook her head,
"I can't go home." She said, stopping to look at Mia, "I have to go talk to Harry. He knew Kelly did this. He didn't tell me."
Mia sighed, her shoulders slumping,
"Are you in love with him?" She asked finally, "Just tell me. I already know anyway."
Samantha knew Mia was worried. She also knew Mia was her best friend and wanted to help,
"I have a connection to him, Mia. I don't know what it is...but I can't walk away from it. It's so strong that sometimes it puts me on my ass. It's more to do with Gwen or even Tabitha. I get him. I don't see his anger or irritation. All I see is someone crying out for compassion. I can give that to him."
Mia nodded without hesitation,
"I know you can. I know."
Samantha licked her lips,
"I know you're worried. I know nothing I say will ease your mind. But I can't walk away from him. Even if nothing happens...I can't let him do this alone anymore."
"Ok." Mia agreed after a moment, "Ok, I get it."
Samantha kissed her cheek,
"I'll be home later. I promise. He won't let me ride the tube anyway now that it's dark."
Mia watched Samantha walk towards Harry's house. She folded her arms over her chest, hoping it would calm her nerves, but it didn't.
-----------------------
Samantha debated between using her key or ringing the doorbell the entire walk to Harry's house. Would he still be awake? He'd had such an emotionally taxing day she wouldn't blame him if he'd sacked out the moment the sun set.
She opened the gate, still unsure what to do by the time she got to his front door. She pulled her keys out, the cold metal pushing into her skin as she squeezed. That's when she heard Rufus barking. A few moments after that, the door unlocked and Harry pulled it open.
He looked confused as well as alarmed,
"Watts? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" He asked, his voice full of concern as he stepped out onto the front stoop.
Samantha stared up at him, her mind flooded with all the things she knew and all the things she wanted to say. She gestured into the house,
"Can we talk? In there?"
Harry nodded,
"Sure. Yeah."
Samantha pushed past him, her heart pounding in her ears at the same rhythm of her footsteps walking into the house. She turned around in time to see him close the door,
"You knew." She blurted out.
Harry stepped towards her,
"What did I know?" He asked softly.
Samantha was at a loss for how to even begin to explain anything. She felt like she was going to cry and laugh all at the same time,
"Harry, I don't know how to apologize. This is my fault. He knew what he knew because of me. He used it to write a nasty story...he used me to get a job."
Harry understood then. He stepped forward,
"Watts, it's not your fault. He used you. There's no way you could have known he would do that. He was good at making himself out to be the good guy."
Samantha shook her head, a single tear slipping down her cheek,
"I should have been more careful. You asked me not to tell anyone who I was working for and I always thought that was crazy. But I get it now." She balled her hands up into fists at her sides, "I get it now." She whispered.
Harry felt terrible watching her shoulder the blame for this right in front of his face. She looked so sorry even though he didn't blame her for anything. He reached his hand out to her face, lifting the pad of his thumb to wipe away the lone tear.
Samantha's eyes were riveted to his. All this time she'd been so concerned about him hurting her and she'd been the one to cast the first stone. And the worst part was, he wasn't even angry about it.
She felt herself move, though she wasn't exactly sure what her end goal was. Her eyes focused on his mouth, slightly open while he kept still. And then darkness overtook her as her eyelids fell closed.
His mouth was warm. His lips soft. His hand was against her cheek, moving just slightly to slide under her ear when she kissed him. And just as quickly as it started, it ended as she pulled back.
Samantha's eyes darted back and forth between his mouth and his eyes. Her breath stuck in her throat while she waited for his reaction.
Harry's eyes never moved from hers. His hand stayed against her cheek while his mind raced. However quick it had been, he felt that kiss all the way down in his toes. His heart sped up to an alarming rate while they stood there in silence.
Samantha was about to take a step away. That was a mistake. He was in no shape to be returning this kind of emotion. Harry's other hand slipped up onto her hip, his eyes closing while his mouth came down on hers.
Samantha's head tipped back, her fingers curling into his shirt and grabbing hold. His hand moved from her face to wrap around her waist. He pulled her up off her feet, crushing her body against his while his mouth connected with hers over and over.