"Lindsey!" Stevie called out to him for the hundredth time that day. He jumped, placing her plate down as he would finish with it later.
"Coming!" He replied, jogging into the living room where she was stretched out on the couch
"Yes dear?" Lindsey asked, out of breath.
"Honey would you be a dear and-"
"Are you tired, hungry? I'm almost done with your plate."
"No, will you bring me a drink?"
"Water?"
"Juice." Stevie said. "I want something sweet."
"Apple? Orange? I'm pretty sure there's mango!" He said quickly
"Apple, please! Oh! And animal crackers!"
"Got it!" He gave her a peck before racing back to the kitchen
"Tee, you're going to run the poor boy into the ground," Barbara said
"He likes to do it. He told me so."
"Well, just remember he gets tired too." Barbara pat her daughters head as she walked past.
In her eighth month Stevie seemed to double in size, she had noticed the baby hit a growth spurt rather late, diminishing her hopes of a smaller baby. "You are killing my back, Sara," Stevie whined
"Want me to rub it for you?" Lindsey returned with her juice and snack
"Yes, please." Stevie wept, shocking Lindsey. Her emotions were wild and unpredictable. If he tried to hug her, sometimes she would cry more or push him off. "I'm so tired"
"Do you need a nap?"
"Then I'll be up all night again."
"Alright, well just let me know if you change your mind. Where does it hurt, lower?" He asked, guiding his hands down her back.
"Yeah, my hips hurt too..." he wiped her eyes, "this isn't what I thought it would be...."
"It's beautiful! You look beautiful!" Lindsey rubbed her back softly. "The midwife will be coming today so maybe she can give us tips, yeah?"
"I guess" Stevie sighed.
"I know you're tired and you feel done with being pregnant but we will miss it when it's over."
"No I won't" she protested and he chuckled.
"Don't laugh at me. I'm serious. Don't you ever do this to me again." Her voice was stern and his eyes widened.
"Okay, I won't," Lindsey nodded as if talking to his mother
"They all say that, Lindsey. She'll be begging for another one in six months," Jess said from his chair
Lindsey laughed and Stevie gave him a pointed look, making him stop immediately. "If everyone is going to gang up on me, I'm just going to go to my room." Stevie told him.
"We're not ganging up on you. We love you."
"Yeah, right. You get the fun part. You're all excited about the baby coming but you forget that I'm the one who has to do all the work."
"I don't forget. I told you I'd hold your hand the whole time and make you as comfortable as you can."
"I blame Eve. She's the one who could stay the hell away from the damned tree. She made it so women had pain during labor. For a stupid apple! It wasn't even like a cookie or piece of cake." Stevie hoisted herself off the couch and went upstairs without another word. Lindsey couldn't help chuckling.
"Well, she seems happy. Sheesh!" Chris said. "Whats eating her?"
"Pregnant women are a delight," Jess said sarcastically
"I'll finish her plate and bring it to her," Lindsey replied, going to the kitchen and finishing his husbandly chores
"He's whipped, dad." Chris said.
"He's not whipped." Barbara said. "He loves her and he cares about how she feels. He will make a wonderful husband and father one day."
"I would prefer both had been in about ten years, but I agree," Jess said, watching as Lindsey jogged up the stairs to Stevie's room.
"Baby? Are you hungry?"
He knocked again and saw her curled up, fast asleep in bed. He smiled, sitting down next to her with her plate in his lap.
"Honey? Sweetheart, you need to eat." He stroked her face and kissed her forehead.
"Feed me," she puckered her bottom lip
"Feed you?" Lindsey chuckled, rubbing her side
"Yeah, I'm so tired," she replied like a child
Lindsey sat a little closer and spoon fed her mashed potatoes, listening to her moan. Meals were pleasurable to Stevie, especially as she got bigger. She could eat and eat, Lindsey watching on with eyes bulging. No wonder Sara was getting so big in there. Stevie perked up a little, raising up onto her elbows as he continued to feed her.
"Is it good?" He chuckled, watching her dab at her mouth
"Mmhm!" She nodded excitedly
"Eat up! Little Sara will grow!"
Stevie suddenly stopped, sitting up fully. "What?"
"We want Sara to grow, don't we? She needs to get big and strong in there. Only another month or so left."
"But she's huge!" Stevie said, bursting into tears.
"It's okay!" Lindsey took her into his arms and rocked her, "she will be perfect! Everything will be fine!" He kissed the side of her head, he had much to learn about women in general, much less pregnant women
"But what if I can't lose the weight and I'm fat forever?" Stevie wailed and Lindsey tried his best not to laugh.
"You won't be!" he reassured her.
She pushed him away. "Oh, you don't know!"
"I know you will. I will love you no matter how you look because you are always beautiful to me."
"Promise?" Stevie asked and Lindsey nodded, kissing her forehead.
"Take a nap, the midwife will be here in an hour," He helped her lay back, rubbing her large stomach, "Let Mommy sleep a little, Sara."
"You're going to lay with me, aren't you?"
"Sure, angel." He got in behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She drifted off easily as he rubbed her stomach in slow circles.
Lindsey gently lifted her hand, looking at the promise ring he had given her. Stevie had never taken it off and seemed proud to wear it. Lindsey on the other hand had been having second thoughts about his capabilities as a parent and partner. He often worried about not knowing what to do or mixing up stuff and hurting the baby. He hadn't spoke of Stevie about any of his fears but as her due date grew closer he felt more and more stuck.
He carefully got out of bed and went downstairs. He needed space, he needed to go for a walk. He quietly left the house, careful not to slam the front door and alert anyone. He exhaled heavily, feeling like he could finally breathe.
"Calm down. Calm down," he cried to himself as he paced, feeling a melt down approaching. He hadn't had one in months...
He ran a hand through his unruly curls that Stevie loved so much. He thought about Stevie and their daughter, frightened and nervous. He couldn't go to anyone, especially not Stevie about how he felt. He couldn't take someone telling him how selfish or stupid he was for needing a break.
Ruth appeared from their house, "Lindsey, it's alright!" Carefully approaching him as she knew the signs
Lindsey stopped and looked at her, leaning into her as soon as she was close enough. She wrapped her arms around him and her tall son laid his head on her shoulder and cried.
"Come in the house, we don't want Stevie to see you," She wrapped her arm around him and led him to their house. "Tell me what's wrong, hm? Tell me," Ruth encouraged softly
"I'm not good at anything. I'm a bad husband, a bad father...the baby's not even here yet and I'm failing. Stevie is so...and I'm..." He couldn't come up with the right words, sighing heavily.
"You are not any of those things! That girl would be in a heck of a situation if you weren't here! Stevie and Sara adore you! You are made for Stevie!" Ruth took his face in her hands
"What if I mess up something and Sara or Stevie get hurt! You remember what happened to Greg when I helped Dad with the tree house! And when I tried to help you cook! You had a burn for weeks! I can't do anything normal!" He sobbed
"We all make mistakes but everyone is here to help you figure it all out. You should talk to Stevie because I bet she's scared too. She's never been a mother before, and she's never even been around any babies. You're both in the same boat."
"I'm scared she will freak out and worry....I don't want her to feel like she will be taking care of them alone..."
"Let her know you're there and that you want to learn things together. They have baby care classes at the hospital. Maybe I can swing by tomorrow and sign the both of you up. Sara will be coming soon and I think you'd both benefit from being more prepared."
"I will talk to Stevie about the classes. Maybe they will help me with my feelings so I don't have to worry her right now."
"You may think that but what if she feels just like you? You could be helping her by coming clean about how you feel. Relationships, especially serious ones, shouldn't have secrets."
"What do I do if she gets upset?" He asked, there were parts of him that missed staying with his mother, feeling safe from the outside world as she had always protected him.
"Comfort her and let her comfort you too. Lean on each other. You two are so in love. I can see it. That will get you through the hard times."
"I'm not supposed to lean on her! I'm not supposed to be a problem! I'm supposed to solve problems!" Lindsey was working himself up once again
"It's not your place to solve all of them. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. You need to realize that you need her just as much as she needs you. Solve problems together, work through tough emotions together, raise your beautiful little girl together. It's 50/50, Lindsey." His mother spoke passionately and he nodded. She could tell he was shutting down, touching his face. She caressed his cheek with the soft pad of her thumb. "We are all so proud of you. You have come such a long way."
"I didn't have a choice..." he said sadly, "I wanted Stevie to keep the baby..."
"Is that the only reason why you stayed?" Ruth asked, looking deep into his eyes.
"Of course I love her with my whole heart. But at first that was my heaviest influence..."
"Oh, Lindsey...did you tell her that? Does she know the whole truth?"
"It would kill her, mom." Lindsey said sadly. "I love her, promise. I didn't even know what it truly meant to be this head over heels for someone before. She's why I wake up in the morning, and the one I want to fall asleep with each night. She's the one I want to provide for and dream about the future with. She's it for me."
"I think that you two should come clean to each other..." Ruth said, "I will be there if you want me to be."
"Will you?" Lindsey asked and Ruth nodded. "Thanks mom" He hugged her tightly. "Uh...I should probably be heading back. I don't want her to wake up and worry."
"If you start feeling this way again come to me. We don't want you having anymore meltdowns, you've been doing so well!" Kissing her son's cheek
"Thanks mom" he repeated. He left the house and started walking back to the Nicks' home. He opened he door and jogged upstairs to find Stevie crying on the bed.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Forgetting his troubles as he kneeled in front of her, "Are you hurting?"
"I thought you left me" she wailed, throwing her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the crook of her neck.
"I would never leave you! I just went for some fresh air, it's a beautiful day," Lindsey pulled back and held her face
"Really? You didn't run away from me because I'm a mean girlfriend?" she pouted.
"No! You are the best girlfriend ever!" He kissed her softly, "I love you!"
"I love you too! I can't live without you, Lindsey!" she wept. "Promise me you will never leave me, baby. Promise me."
"I promise" he said, looking deep into her eyes.
"Tee," Barbara knocked on the door, "your midwife is here."
"Send her in," Stevie wiped at her eyes
"I'll go to the living room, okay?" Lindsey had never been allowed to be present when the midwife came
"Can you stay this time?" Stevie asked and Lindsey looked toward the door. "I could ask if she would be okay with that, if you're nervous."
"You were never comfortable before."
"Well, you're going to see the baby come out so I should probably get used to it" She giggled.
Lindsey shrugged and nodded, "True. I will be glad to stay with you," Kissing the side of her head
The midwife walked in just moments after and started her usual exam. Lindsey sat across the room, watching.
"Alright, which would you like first? Measurements or exam?" The midwife clapped her hands together, Stevie dreading both of them
"Measurements. I want to ease Lindsey into this." Stevie replied.
The midwife chuckled, glancing over at Lindsey in the corner. "Men tend to have weaker stomachs when it comes to this sort of thing."
Lindsey covered his face in embarrassment, and Stevie smiled lovingly at him. "Don't be shy, sweetheart."
"I'll try." he promised and her smile broadened
"Lindsey, would you like to come over and hold Stephanie's hand?" The midwife, Gloria, asked him softly
"Yes ma'am," he moved next to Stevie and took her hand tightly in his, "will all this hurt you?" He asked Stevie
"No, she just presses down a little to feel my uterus, and then she will check for dilation. That part is uncomfortable but doesn't hurt."
"Oh." Lindsey said, still a little confused about the process.
Gloria patted Stevie's leg, moving her dress out of the way, "Remember this may be rather uncomfortable as the baby doesn't have much room to move around, okay?"
"Okay" Stevie nodded, letting the midwife do what she needed to do. He studied Stevie's features, making she wasn't lying about it not hurting her. He felt fiercely protective, stroking the back of her hand with his fingertips.
"I'm okay, Lindsey," she reassured him after she had winced, he looked like he wanted to pounce on the midwife
"Ah, you're coming right along" the midwife said, finishing her exam.
"Is she...uh..."
"She's dilated a centimeter and very thinned out but don't be alarmed. This doesn't mean the baby will be early. She could start to experience some intense Braxton-Hicks, practice contractions, but that's all. It's just her body preparing to bring this little one into the world." Stevie smiled, sitting up. "Are we still wanting to have a home birth?"
Stevie nodded and Lindsey looked to his girlfriend, nodding as well.
"I will bring a few things for you next time I come, a yoga ball seems to do the trick in relieving pressure," Gloria replied, "but I think you will handle this like a champ."
"I'm scared that she will be too big to come out," Stevie said, "what if she gets stuck?"
"That's a very common fear and it's very rare. If it does happen, I am equipped to help both of you. If it's an emergency, we will call an ambulance and transfer you to the hospital for a cesarean." Stevie's eyes were still fearful. "I have been a midwife for many years and delivered very large babies. My largest was twelve and a half pounds. I was astounded when we weighed him. Your baby is measuring slightly ahead but I am not concerned about your ability to birth her."
"I still have a month to go...will Sara grow to twelve pounds?" Stevie asked, Lindsey turning pale as he knew something that large could not come out of his girlfriend
"I highly doubt it. My personal guess would be around eight or eight and a half pounds based on how she feels. That's a nice, healthy, normal size. Not too small and definitely not too big. She will be sweet, chubby perfection." Gloria pat Stevie's bump.
"Can you do anything for her pain?" Lindsey asked softly, he always worried with how bad her body ached
"This is a good time for expecting parents to connect. Massage is a favorite, warm baths and showers...I don't recommend medicine only because they could mask real labor contractions. It's important to know when labor begins."
"Will her water break before or after contractions?" He asked Gloria, Stevie loving how he took over with asking the questions
"Every woman is different. Text book labors say contractions will begin, the water will break and the baby will emerge in that order. But I have seen women with no labor signs have their water break. I have also seen women not have their water break until the baby is emerging."
"What do I need to do to help her when the time comes?"
"Whatever she needs you to do. She may want to rest so keep an eye on her. If she wants to walk around then you will be her support. Your roll is endless and so important in this process."
Lindsey gulped, nervous and Stevie smiled brightly at him, squeezing his hand. "I know I won't be saying this during labor but I'm so excited to do this with you, Lindsey."
"I can't wait. I'll be by your side the whole time!" Kissing the side of her head
"Well, I believe that's all we have to do today!" The midwife smiled softly
"Thank you so much for coming." Stevie said, hoisting herself up to hug Gloria.
"You're more than welcome. I will be coming every week, since the baby will be coming soon. You're in the home stretch! It was so nice to meet you, Lindsey."
"You too," he shook her hand timidly. Barbara had come up and showed Gloria out. Lindsey helped Stevie back down on the bed. "I'll go run you a bath!" He rushed into the bathroom and turned on the faucet
"I don't want a bath, Lindsey." Stevie told him
"Right," he nodded turning the water back off, "A shower?"
"No, I just want to lay here and cuddle. It won't just be the two of us forever anymore. One day our little girl will be here."
"I know. Her bassinet is right there." Lindsey points across the room. "And when she comes, we will move it to the side of the bed to make it easier for you to nurse her."
"You think of everything." Stevie kissed him. "I love you."
"I love you too," he brushed her hair from her face