it had been four days since they had found out ryan was in a coma. the majority had been told by their parents that they had to go back to school. but brendon hadn't. he tried to go to school on tuesday, but he just couldn't go through the whole day knowing that his best friend was in a hospital bed, pretty much on the verge of life or death. dallon still hadn't turned up. he was supposed to get there on monday, but his mum had kept refusing. even his dad hadn't been able to convince his wife to let dallon see his childhood best friend. she strongly believed that school work was more important, and that dallon would not ruin his education for someone he hadn't physically seen in years.
dallon's dad was seriously planning on driving dallon over to LA instead of taking dallon to councelling, but had decided against it. instead, he planned on telling his wife that he'd pick dallon up from the school tomorrow, and let dallon spend the weekend over there. it was the best thing that he could do. dallon didn't like it, but if it was the only way that he was going to be able to see ryan, he'd go along with it.
brendon went to see ryan everyday. the others would bring him food after school. if they were being honest, they were getting worried about brendon. they were all missing their best friend, but brendon wasn't taking care of himself. and he needed to. he rarely ate breakfast, and when he did, it was a mcdonald's drive thru breakfast. it wasn't healthy. and it wasn't as if his parents could stop him. they'd tried to, but he'd just leave the house before they woke up. brendon just wasn't brendon anymore. he was a wreck. and it was getting hard to deal with. he was there so often that the nurses knew him by first name.
"brendon?" a nurse walked into the ward, careful not to make brendon jump. she waited until he lifted his head as acknowledgement before continuing. "okay, we need you to leave. i'm sorry, it will only be for a bit, i promise. we just need to run a couple of tests on ryan. we want to move him to a ward with someone else too, because this is essentially one of the emergency rooms, and we need to move him out, as he doesn't seem to be in a critical condition any longer. this will take half an hour if we decide to keep him here, and a little longer if we move him. again, i'm sorry. please may you wait in the reception room?"
brendon just nodded and stood up. he should probably grab a coffee anyways - it would keep him awake for longer. besides, he hadn't really been sleeping, and although it had only been four days, he was struggling to stay awake during the day. he didn't really like a bad sleep schedule, but he always ended up with one, and he'd have to bare with a really fucked up one for a while. because ryan would wake up. he would.
brendon's phone went off then, breaking his train of thought. sighing, he took it out of his pocket. it was spencer. he debated whether to answer it or not, and decided against it. he didn't really want to talk to anyone right now. he didn't think that he could speak to anyone without crying a little. and brendon didn't want to show that to people. he'd always been the stronger one of the group - cheering up the others when they got sad - it hadn't ever really been the other way around. oh, how the tables had turned.
a couple of minutes later, brendon's phone went off again. it was spencer again. he knew he should answer it. but he really didn't want to. he thought for another few seconds, before finally accepting the call, and bringing the phone to his ear. once the call connected, he could already hear a couple of voices coming from the other end. great, the majority of the group were probably there. it was their school lunch break after all.
"hey bren. how are you holding up?" spencer asked, shushing the rest of the group. brendon just sighed and shook his head, before realising that spencer was on the other end of the phone, not in front of him.
"i- i think i'm alright. just tired as hell." brendon replied, trying to act a little more cheerful than he was feeling. he really didn't want to talk for a long time - he just really wasn't up to it. too much effort for him right now.
"any news about ryan? or is he in the same condition?" this time, it was gee speaking. brendon really didn't want this subject to come up - he was going to start crying. but ryan was their friend too, and they had a right to know as much as brendon did.
"well, there is some," brendon took a deep breath before carrying on. "they just asked me to leave the room because they want to run a few tests on him." he felt a tear roll down his cheek. he sighed, wiping it away. "the nurse said that he was currently in the emergency ward, and they can't really keep him in there much longer." another tear, and a sob. "so, uhm, they're seeing if he's s-stable enough t-to be moved into a ward with another p-person." by the end, brendon was sobbing after every couple of words. this wasn't like brendon. brendon didn't cry.
"hey, bren. don't cry. it'll be okay. i promise. ryan will wake up, i'm sure of it. ryan's gone through so much. he's not going to let this change everything. sure, he might not be the same for a little, but i promise he'll be fine." that was kenny.
"but that's just the thing! he's been through so much - without us! why couldn't we be with him through this? why did none of us notice that he was going downhill again? the majority of us have been there, we should have known the signs."
"i know, b. but sometimes the signs are just completely unnoticeable. until after the consequences happen. it's not your fault. it's no one's fault. if anyone would have noticed, it really should have been his parents. if they didn't notice anything, ryan was hiding it too well. i know that he shouldn't have done - but he did. and we can't change that. we've just got to make sure that this doesn't happen again." halsey.
"thanks, hals. but it won't change anything. ryan wasn't okay - and he won't be for a while. you know how much he hates therapy, and now he has to go through at least three months of it."
"but you know that it's good for him! yes, he hates it, but it will help him. therapy will do a much better job than we ever could. i hate to say that, but it's true. we've been through similar things, but we can't physically do anything. we can't prescribe ryan pills. we don't know what's best for him in medical terms." halsey argued back.
"he hates therapy, he's not exactly going to open up to some random therapist! if he didn't open up to us - or his parents - who the hell is he going to talk to?! i'm sure as hell it's not going to be a goddamn therapist!"
"he could lose us, bren! he was probably worried about us leaving him! you've got to have been worried about telling us something, haven't you? he's not going to feel comfortable saying to us: 'hey guys, i feel like i need to... uh, hurt myself. please help', is he? a therapist isn't allowed to openly express their opinion about the situation to the client." halsey sighed.
"fine." brendon just hung up after that. he was done with all of this bullshit. all of it. he was tired. and not just physically. he didn't want to live like this anymore. getting sad and then not being able to control his anger. what if his friends didn't want to be around him anymore. he figured that sending halsey a quick 'i'm sorry. i didn't mean to have a go at you. i just feel like shit and i know that isn't an excuse for being rude, but i just can't help it. i'll make it up to you.' would hopefully be enough.
the people at reception were already giving him slightly weird looks. he was the only one in the waiting room, so raising his voice was not a good idea. it would have just echoed, meaning that the receptionist probably heard every word. brendon just let a couple of tears fall as he slouched into a seat with his head in his hands. he was quite done with his life just about now.
hey so it's been like a month and i'm sorry. i had a little bit of writer's block. but i just wrote 1200 words in 20 minutes, just so i could finish this chapter and try and write a second one. that probably won't come out until the weekend or something but oh well, i can start it.
we had a snow day today, so that was fun. i spent pretty much two hours crying over my cat because the vets thought they were going to have to put him down. they cut him open for the second time in two years. we honestly spent so much money on him... but i think he's going to get better now, so it was worth it.
haha, so that's enough complaining. is there anyone you want me to add? i'm thinking of adding all time low, waterparks and palaye royale - but i don't know if you want that? so yeah, just tell me who you really want in here, or if there's someone you really don't want in there. i kinda need to know soon, because i want to add them in the next chapter.
thanks for 25k reads! have a meme.
or two
please look at them
i couldn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes when i saw the second one and idek why