"So It Goes" - Taylor Swift
||Nikki's POV||
I was on my third glass of wine. I felt pretty drunk since I already had two piña coladas before I switched to red wine. Somehow I was still able to keep up a conversation with Anne and Robin. I was only giving Harry one worded responses if he spoke to me.
Harry is very affectionate and has to be touching me in someway at all times. I could see the hurt in his eyes every time I moved away from his touch. I even slapped his hand away from my thigh. Of course, I normally loved being touched by him, but he lied to me. I don't care if they're texting, but if he felt the need to lie then he must be hiding something from me. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't let him and Kendall be friends, but so many different scenarios were running through my mind now.
He did say he had commitment issues before. Well, I've had addiction issues and it's not easy to just quit cold turkey. I feel like I'm overanalyzing, but I can't help it. That's what I do. I don't always lash out at people, but I somehow end up twisting shit and end up thinking that I'm the problem. It makes me want to runaway from people. I think that's why I never felt like I fit in with the celebrity lifestyle. Hollywood is full of backstabbing fake assholes that make you feel like you're not enough or this and that needs to be tucked or snipped. I already have enough issues, thanks.
I finished my third glass and topped off the rest of the bottle. I must look like an absolute lush to Harry's mum and stepdad right now. Isn't this what people do on vacation, though?
"Baby, no more after this, ok?" Harry whispered into my ear.
"Piss off." I mutter, taking a generous sip.
"I know you're mad at me. I don't why, but remember you shouldn't drink when you're upset." He continued to whisper in my ear.
"Stop." I lean away from him and finish my wine. I look up and see a blurry silhouette walking up to our table. I can't tell if I should start wearing glasses or if I'm so drunk my vision is blurred. I'm disappointed. I used to be able to drink way more before getting to this point.
"Harry! Hi!"
Kendall.
I blink hard twice and see her in all her glory.
What the fuck is she wearing?! I try hard not to laugh, but end up giggling into my hand. Anne can't hide the look of slight disgust from her face. Kendall is a sexy girl, but this outfit is cringeworthy. Boobs out and sparkly boots. Maybe she dressed up for Harry.
"Hi, Ken. How are ya?" Harry smiles politely. She leans down to hug him and her crop top literally slides up over her titties. She is fully exposed and doesn't care. I mean, ok, do you, but his parents are right there!
"Anne! Robin! It's been a longtime!" Kendall hugs them before they can protest.
"Yes, Kendall...it certainly has been." Anne looks at me apologetically. If I was sober I know I would be uncomfortable. We were all getting some tits in our face tonight, though. I'm amused and pissed at the same time.
"Nikki! You look so gorgeous!" She bends down and hugs me; I accidentally move my head and get a face full of perky tits.
"Oh, a little exposed aren't ya?" I tightly grip Harry's thigh, hoping that it's painful and he gets the hint about why I'm so mad.
I think he took it as a different kind of gesture. I felt him reach down and adjust himself. He was fucking turned on—by me or this titties-in-my-face bitch?!
"Sorry! I didn't think this top was that short!" She laughs like it was nothing but a little whoopsie.
This isn't backstage at some fashion show, ya twat.
Her and Harry are talking, but all I hear is noise like the voice of the teacher in Charlie Brown. I found myself wanting to be obnoxious. I began tracing L-I-A-R over and over on Harry's thigh. He started to fidget and placed his hand over mine to get me to stop. Bloody jerk looked confused.
"I'm going to the ladies room." I pulled my hand away from Harry and somehow gracefully walked in the direction of the restrooms. I knew I was going to pass Zayn on the way. He made eye contact with me and I tapped on my chin with two fingers. It was our secret signal growing up for when we both wanted to leave a crowded room to talk in private. He hated putting on a polite face in front of these kind of people even more than I did.
I walked out onto the patio and waited by the old tamarind tree that the restaurant and tropical garden were built around. Apparently the tree is centuries old.
I saw Zayn walking with Gigi, but she stopped to go into the restroom. He continued walking outside towards me.
"I wonder why there's no one out here. It's nice." Zayn says as he walks up.
"They're all too busy keeping up appearances with each other." I stumble a little and Zayn catches me. He wraps an arm around me until I can steady myself.
"I tried to stop Kendall from going over there. She doesn't understand boundaries. To be honest, her entire family has that fuckin' problem." He shakes his head. "And you know Harry, he's—"
"Too fucking nice! He lied to me about texting her. I get that they're friends, but why lie to me now? We've always been open to each other."
"Did you tell him about Taylor, yet?" He asks with a little smirk.
"Well, no..." I slump against him.
"That's lying by omission. Maybe you're both not as open as you thought. It's a two-way street, Nikki."
"When did you get so wise?" I laugh lightly. He grew up way too fast.
"I'm a lot like you. I don't follow my own bloody advice, so take it or leave it, yeah?" He smiles and brushes my hair away from my face. It felt flirty, almost romantic.
Yeah, remember that thing you said about understanding boundaries, Zayn...
"I should go back to Harry. It was nice to see you. I'm sure we'll bump into each other again. This island isn't very big." I quickly hug him and go to walk away, but he grabs my hand.
"I miss you. We don't see each other enough." He pulls me to him. "Why is that?"
"You and Harry hate each other and won't tell me why. Speaking of lying with omission..." I roll my eyes and make sure to add, "Let go of my hand. Do you want Harry to murder you by hanging you from this tree?"
He abruptly lets go of my hand. "I'll see you around then."
I turn to walk back inside. Gigi is standing in the walkway with her arms crossed. She doesn't look surprised. She gives me a small smile instead of her normal bitchy scowl that she usually reserves just for me. Maybe Taylor had a talk with her so-called squad and they're being nice to me now. Did she see Zayn grab my hand? I cringed at the thought of some sort of fabricated story making it into the media.
I made it back to the table. Harry was putting my food into a box since I barely ate. He also ordered me a dessert. His mum and Robin already walked back to our villa since it was very close by.
I wasn't even that mad anymore. I felt more disappointed in the both of us. We were both keeping secrets. There would never be a right time to tell him about Taylor and I. Tonight wasn't the night either.
"Let's go." Harry barely looked at me. He didn't even grab my hand like he usually does. I felt guilty for some reason. Zayn was acting differently towards me. Did Harry see us?
I followed him out the door. He was walking in front of me without a word. I didn't like how it felt like the tables were suddenly turned. I'm supposed to be the one who's mad.
He stopped halfway to the villa. I almost ran into his back. He grabbed my hand, holding it the rest of the way. I leaned my head on his arm. I was feeling a little dizzy from the alcohol and not really eating much.
"Harry—"
"Don't...not here. We're almost there."
When we got back to the villa, he got out a plate from the cupboard. He placed my leftovers on the plate then put it in the microwave.
"You need to eat something, baby." Harry sighed and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. He handed me one. "Hydrate."
I took the water, drinking down about half of it in one go. When I sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island, he took off my boots for me. We looked at each other for a moment. It seemed like he was about to say something, but the beeping of the microwave interrupted him.
My tummy was growling now. The smell of the steak and potatoes were making my mouth water. I felt sort of silly in my half drunken state with Harry, yet again, making sure that I eat. It felt patronizing even though I know that he means well.
I started eating with the hope that he would be satisfied and tell me why he lied to me or apologize that I got titty slapped by Kendall because he's too nice to tell her to piss off.
I let out a laugh.
No. Her tits in my face was just ridiculously funny.
"What's so funny?" Harry sat on the stool next to me. He had gotten a lemon meringue pie for us to share and was cutting it in half, so he could eat his portion.
"Kendall's tits." I laugh harder now that I've said it out loud. "I mean, what the fuck was she wearing?! Ya know I am no fashionista, but clearly that has to be a faux-pas for a model!" I was waving my fork around. Harry had to pick pieces of potato out of his hair.
"Nikki, watch the hair!" He was laughing with me. "That was embarrassing, though. Did you see my mum's face?"
I stop laughing and slam my hands on the counter. "Why did you lie to me?!"
Harry jumped at my sudden mood change.
"I don't care that you're friends with Titty McGee, but you were being sketchy on your phone and then lied about texting her!" I groaned in frustration.
"That's why you're mad at me? I'm sorry about being on my phone. That was rude of me. I just responded to her texts saying she was here in St. Barts. I wasn't texting her the entire time."
"Ok fine. Why did you lie then?" I held my fork up, threatening to fling more potatoes into his hair. "We don't lie to each other. If you felt the need to lie then you must be hiding something from me and I hating thinking about what it could possibly be or if I did something to make you want to leav--"
"For fuck's sake! I'm planning something special for you and I was making the final arrangements! You're such a silly, fucking woman!" He threw his hands up in defeat.
No twitchy lying lips.
I slowly put my potato filled fork down. Well, now I feel like cold hearted bitch.
"I'm sorry, alright?! I didn't realize I was being sketchy. Do want to see the texts between me and Kendall?" Harry gets his phone out.
"No. I don't want to be that kind of girlfriend." I looked down sheepishly. "You're planning something?"
"Yeah, but I want to keep SOME of it a surprise. I know you're uncomfortable with this particular lifestyle. I wanted us to do something that I know you would enjoy...away from...what did you call her again?"
"Titty McGee and the gang?" I sighed. " Sorry I snapped. You don't have to go out of your way like that. I can hold my own with these kind of people."
"Angel, you make me happy, so I want to do the same for you."
Harry goes to touch my thigh, but I smack it away. I realized I was mad about the encounter with Kendall, despite the hilarity of it. He was more worried about being Mr. Nice Guy then showing me respect in front of his exes. His poor mother and Robin got titted in the face, too. It wasn't funny to them.
"Nikki, what can I do to make this right?" He sighed and poked at his dessert.
"I need to beat your media trained ass. When you don't speak up and I'm forced to...it makes me feel like a petty, jealous girlfriend. When people cross the line, tell them. I feel disrespected when your exes or other hoes you've slept with parade around you like I'm not right next to you. Fucking man up for once, will ya?!" I kick my stool back and storm off to the bedroom.
He was on hot on my heels, grabbing my hand and whipping me around. He back kicked the door shut and crashed his lips onto mine. I pushed him up against the door and roughly pulled his shirt open. The buttons go flying everywhere. He unzips the back of my dress, but it still gets ripped from him impatiently prying it off me and throwing it across the room.
"Condom?" I pant against his lips.
Harry shows me the condom that he had in his back pocket the whole time. I pull him away from the door and push him onto the bed. He rips the package open with his teeth while I yank off his skinny jeans.
"There's one rule. You can't touch me." I grab the condom from his hand. "Understand?"
"Yes." He croaks out.
I roll the condom onto his hard length. He watched me remove my panties with hungry eyes. "You look like you want these. Here." I stuffed them into his mouth. "I guess there's two rules. Keep those in your mouth or I won't let you cum."
Harry vigorously nods with wide eyes.
I straddle his waist, pushing at his shoulders so he lays flat on the bed. Leaning back, I make sure he has the perfect view of my pussy as I start to pleasure myself. I needed to be extra wet to take all of his cock inside of me. His frustrated groaning just turns me on more; I insert one, two, then three fingers inside of my tight cunt.
"Mmm fuck...I should just make myself cum and leave you with blue balls." I smirk as I keep edging myself.
Poor Harry shakes his head with muffled whimpers because of my panties in his mouth.
I smiled wickedly and took him all the way in, the entire thick shaft. I felt the pressure of the tip of his cock bottom out on my cervix, pressing on the inside of me. He stretched me out so perfectly every fucking time. I rose up slowly then pressed down again, this time faster. I kept taking him all the way in, and then withdrawing again to the tip.
Harry's eyes rolled to the back of his head, his hands fisting at the sheets. His muffled growls spurred me on. I laid my hands flat on his chest and could no longer hold back. I began fucking him fast and hard, my tits bouncing to the rhythm of my legs slapping against his.
"I take your cock so well don't I? No one else can fuck you like I can." I throw my head back, swirling my hips. I could feel myself already about to come undone. I can never last long when I've been drinking. Furiously rubbing my clit threw me over the edge.
"Harry...I'm cumming...shit!" I sucked on my fingers to keep myself from screaming. My legs shook and I had to still my movements as I throbbed and creamed all over his cock. My pussy squeezing around his dick made him cum so hard. Harry looked like an animal biting down on my panties. His entire body was trembling.
Sex doesn't solve anything, but damn does it feel good.
After calming down from my high, I disposed Harry's condom for him. When I came back over to him, I kissed up his abdomen to his chest. I fucking love this sweet human being, but I'm so done with him letting people walk all over him.
"Are you going to at least try to stand your ground for once? Say how you really feel, Harry, because that's why you have a temper. You let it all build up and then you explode at the wrong people. Stop holding all of your real feelings inside. You don't always have to hold up some persona for the public eye. It's ok to be human." I remove my panties from his mouth. "Ok?"
Harry nods, "I'll try. This industry really fucked with my head. I don't want to you think that I don't respect you." He is still trembling slightly beneath me. "Can I touch you now?"
"Yeah, I'm done torturing you, baby."
He wraps his arms around me and rolls us over so he's on top. "Do you forgive me?"
"Depends on the surprise you have planned." I tease.
"Oh yeah, you'll forgive me. Tell me you love meeee..." Harry blows a raspberry on my tummy.
"Oi! I love you, weirdo." I giggle, tugging at his hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After some passionate shower sex, Harry was passed out on the bed. I, on the other hand, felt oddly refreshed. I think the time difference was messing with me. It was around 1am which would make it 10pm in LA.
I decided to Skype with Taylor on my laptop and listen to this song she sent me together. I sent her a text to see if she was available.
I'm down. I'm just chillin' like a villain with Olivia. - T
I laugh out loud at the picture she sent. Her cats were something else. I didn't want to disturb Harry, so I grabbed my laptop and walked out onto the balcony. There was a little table, so I set my laptop on it. I plugged in my headphones right as her call started ringing through.
"Hey Tay!"
"Mad looove! Where are you? I hear wind." Taylor made a confused face.
"Oh...I'm in St. Barts on holiday." I plugged my phone in to transfer the song file to my laptop.
"What? Oh, I forgot. You're dating Harry." She snickered, knowing that I usually travel to more obscure places for a cultural experience.
"It's beautiful here but I did get Kendall Jenner's bare tits shoved in my face and it's only day one."
Taylor busted out laughing so hard that I had to remove one of my earbuds.
"Do I even wanna ask HOW that happened? Wait. Yes. I do."
"Listen. All I'm gonna say is, I'm not fashion literate, but I know a crop top shouldn't be cropped AT the tits. She hugged me and out came the titties." I started laughing again about it. I guess it's still funny even after I've sobered up.
"Ugh. She's gross. Gigi worships her for some reason. Oh! She's down there, too!" Taylor rested her chin in her hand and smiled. She looked so damn pretty.
"Hmm yeah. Wanna listen to this song together?"
"Are you naked?" She giggled.
"What? No! Ooh..." The robe I threw on had fallen past my shoulders. "Grow up, Swift. Nothing you haven't seen before. My collarbones gettin' ya all hot and bothered?"
"Maybe. Put the song on, bitch." Taylor smirked and looked away.
I put on the song and it's just Taylor and her piano. The first verse and pre-chorus already surprised me. I felt a little uncomfortable with her watching my reaction. That chorus, though.
And all our pieces fall
Right into place
Get caught up in a moment
Lipstick on your face
So it goes...
I'm yours to keep
And I'm yours to lose
You know I'm not a bad girl, but I
Do bad things with you
So it goes...
When the song ended I was a bit shocked into silence. Taylor wrote a sexy song and it was about us.
"Sooo that bad, huh?" Taylor groaned. "Back to the drawing board."
"Um no...it's good...I just...wasn't expecting that." I cleared my throat. "Let's see what we can do with it when I get back. You're coming to London soon?" I asked.
"Who is coming to London?" Harry sleepily walked out onto the balcony. "Come to bed, angel. S'late."
"He calls you angel? Well isn't that sweet. And yes, I will be in London after the New Year." Taylor confirms.
I realized with my earbuds in that Harry couldn't hear her, but she heard him from my mic. He started to walk towards me to look at the screen, but I put my hand up to stop him. He was naked and I knew he wouldn't want Taylor to see him.
"Uh Taylor, I gotta go. I'll text ya." I hang up the call and take out my earbuds.
"Why are you talking to her this late?" Harry yawns.
"It's not that late in LA. We had to discuss a song. We're doing an EP together." I might as well tell him about us in baby steps.
"Oh? S'kind of weird." His voice was thick with sleep. He might not even remember this.
"We've known each other a long time. I think it's time we collaborated." I shrugged. "Wanna hear what she sent me?"
"Tomorrow, baby girl. Come cuddle me." He practically whined, pulling me back inside.
I felt guilty cuddled up completely naked with Harry and thinking about that song Taylor wrote. It made me realize that maybe I did harbor some feelings for her. I wasn't IN love with her, but I felt something when I heard that song. Maybe that was the point. I was feeling the way she felt about me once upon a time.
Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow would be more normal—no ex lovers making shit weird.
•••
This vacation got off to an interesting start, eh? Lol
Anyone have a guess as to why Harry and Zayn dislike each other so much? That reveal will happen sometime soon. ;)
Hi to all of my new readers! Hello! Hiya! 👋
Shout out to MarylandMansion for being supportive of my story and a fellow 3rd shifter to talk with all night! ❤️ Her story, Set Free, is phenomenal! Please go and check it out!
Love you all!