Ethan's P.O.V
I woke up exhausted having barely slept. First the thought of my father's wedding and now... something I can't allow myself to think about any further. I kicked my sheets off and sighed rubbing my eyes. Why did everything suddenly get so... complicated? I sighed again louder than before. I have to pick a suit. I put my slippers on and walked down the stairs. My mum was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
"Mum, do you have the invitation to dad's wedding." I asked with drowsiness in my voice.
"Yeah, it's on the coffee table in the living room."
I walked into the living room picked up the invitation and read it...
'Please join us in witnessing the marriage of Steven and Elizabeth.
We hope to see you there.'
"Bullshit." I sighed.
"Have you picked a suit?" I turned are saw Alex behind me.
"No, I might not even wear one, just a button up or something." I said.
"I don't think I can do this. But... I have to... he's my dad... biologically." I sighed for what felt like the millionth time today.
"It's gonna be okay. What can go wrong?"
"A lot of things actually, he could insult me in one of his stupid speeches, his fiance could hate me. She might be super nice and shit, I can't handle that."
"Well remember that he doesn't define who you are, you do." He smiled grabbing my shoulders bringing back the warmth I always seem to feel when he smiles.
The doorbell rang though the house making us both turn to it.
"I got it." He went to the door and in came... Luis.
I felt a whole ocean of jealousy flood my senses as he greeted him with a hug. I left without excusing myself rushing to my room locking myself in.
Why do I feel so jealous when they're close to one another? Just thinking about Luis makes my blood boil and makes me uneasy. I never thought I'd be the jealous 'type' but I guess I was wrong. No, it's not jealousy, what could I have been jealous of?
I started hyperventilating my entire life beggining to weigh upon my shoulders. I don't know what to concentrate on, if I concentrate on the wedding I freak out if I concentrate on Andy a weird feeling comes to me, one harder to describe, kind of like sadness if I think about Alex and Luis I get angry. Jealous? I don't even know. I sighed again before picking some clothes hoping that a shower will calm my anxiety. I have to get to work anyways.
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"Okay, I'm going to work. I'll see you guys later." I smiled walking out a fake ass smile as I looked at Luis.
Alex's P.O.V
"You didn't notice that?" Luis asked as soon as Dianna left the living room for work.
"He looked at he with so much... jealousy. It was kind of endearing." He laughed.
"I didn't see anything unusual." I said.
"Well, it's no wonder the two of you haven't gotten together. You're both blinder than a... blind mole rat. It's kinda getting annoying." He groaned loudly.
"I still feel awful for doing this, it feels like... I not know but I know that I don't like it. I'm not doing it anymore, in fact after his dad's wedding I am gonna stay away from him as much as possible. I want to be with him but not if it means making him loose something that is currently making him happy." I sighed, feeling defeated.
I want him to be happy and he is so I'm gonna leave him as he is. I really care about him and this is what's best.
"Okay, if that's what you want. That would mean that our 'relationship' is over... finally. No offense man but you're still not my type." He laughed.
"Yeah, everyone know your 'type' is Abigail." I chuckled, "She doesn't even care. I'm pretty sure she thinks football players are assholes."
"She's just not like everyone else. She's smart and nice and funny unlike those stupid ass cheerleaders you took to bed for your facade. How did that even work, did you just imagine that they had a-"
"Shut the fuck up!" I interuped before he went to far.
"My bad, but seriously though, how?"
He looked at me his eyes swimming with genuine curiosity.
"I don't even know anymore. Last time I tried something like that, Ethan walked in the room. He got so shy, he apologized with the cutest little stutter and his while face turned red." I smiled remembering that day.
I'm sure that I've always known I like him I just was an idiot and now it's too late.
"Lets watch something no?" Luis bounced up and down in his chair, I'm unsure why he's so excited but it's weird.
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Ethan's P.O.V
I walked though the door and set my keys down plopping on the couch next to Alex.
He started laughing a little.
"What?" I asked my eyes half closed.
"You smell like chocolate." I looked at him only then noticing how close I really sat.
"Oh, chocolate muffins are very popular at work." I said scooting over a little.
I looked at the screen, he seemed to be watching The Office.
I live the show but I'm so tired I feel like Steve Carell's voice is gonna lull me to sleep.
"I'm actually gonna go to sleep now." I sighed.
For some reason I didn't want to, I wanted to stay with him a little longer. Maybe I was hoping to fall asleep here and have him take me to my room. I mentally shook my head ridding myself of those strange thoughts coursing through my mind.
"Goodinight. Oh and by the way, when's the wedding, as in what time?"
"Three. 3 p.m." I smiled before walking to my room to sleep.
Three... 3 p.m.
That should be fun.
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I woke up at seven in the morning. Nerves filled my entire body. I showered quickly and rummaged through my closet. I grabbed my black dress pants, white button up, and a pink tie I had lying around. I'm pretty sure it was from Meg's sweet 16. I rolled the sleeves of the button up a little bit and walked out of my room. My hair was still undone but I'm hungry so, priorities.
"Hey, dear, almost ready I see." My mum smiled.
"Yeah, is Alex up yet?" I asked, with furrowed brows.
"Yeah, I think he's changing now."
"Actually I'm ready." Alex said coming down the stairs.
I turned to look at him and I felt a tingling feeling in my abdomen. He looked... great... He, like me had a white button up and black dress pants and a black tie. His hair was gelled back with a weird swoopy thing, I can't explain it but he... wow.
"Good." I chocked out, "I called Meg and Jax and asked if they could come too and they said sure so they're coming to get us. They way you can go to your meeting on time mum." She smiled at me.
"Thank you. Breakfast is on the table, help yourselves boys, I gotta go." My mum rushed out the door, clearly already running late.
"I don't mean to be... intrusive or anything but, how long did your dad... leave?" He looked at me bashfully.
"Long enough apparently." I chuckled.
"Come on let's go eat." I said grabbing him by the wrist.
Aside from the tingling, I felt Alex stiffen the slightest bit at the contact of our skin.
We ate while having a bit of small talk before the bell rang. I went to get the door.
"Ethan!" Meg went in for a hug before stopping abruptly, "go fix your hair. No better yet, follow me young one." She dragged upstairs to the bathroom to fix my hair.
"You know there's a bathroom downstairs too." I said as we got in the bathroom.
"Yeah, I know. I just like climbing stairs." I rolled my eyes at her statement.
She began brushing though my hair with her fingers adding some hair products that I usually try to avoid. Like hair gel.
"Okay, let's go." She began pulling me again and rushing me down the stairs.
"Come on we've got a wedding to go to!" Meg clapped by my ears causing me to bring my hands up to cover them.
I glared at Meg and she mouthed an apology. We all left the house and got into Jax's car. I took a deep sigh sitting in the back with Megan.
"Hey, it's gonna be fine. Besides if he says or does anything that could cause you harm, I'm gonna kick his ass." Meg said as she rubbed my back in soothing motions.
I laughed at the seriousness in her voice.
"Thanks Meg." Her words soothed me, though not enough my legs bounced with nerves terrified of what will inevitably be a disaster, if it weren't too late to turn back I would.
I leaned my head against her shoulders taking deep breaths trying to calm myself down, tensing every time the GPS announced another direction. Med grabbed my hand in hers rubbing it soothingly. Much to my demise we arrived at the wedding location, a church.
Fuck...
"No, I can't do this. Go into a church with people who will undoubtedly hate me at first glance." I said getting up from Meg's shoulder as the car parked and moved away from all of them.
Meg scooted closer but I just put my hands over my face and brought my knees up. She put her hand on my knee and and rubbed again.
"Come on, it's okay. If their is any trouble at all we'll leave. You don't need people like that." I could picture her face, her eyebrows scrunched together, a sympathetic smile on her face.
I could feel tears gathering at my eyes. I'm scared... I'm so scared. The sound of the door opening almost made me look up, but I didn't I just tried to hold back my tears.
I felt I hand on my wrists as well as a familiar warmth. I shut my eyes tightly allowing my tears to slip out as Alex moved my hands away from my face.
"Hey, look at me." His voice was quiet and calming, I must look like an idiot but I can't help it, I opened my eyes slowly, "People are always gonna have something to say, but because of that you'll have more to show. People can say anything, they can say that your sexuality makes you deplorable but that means that you just have to show them that it doesn't and sure it's a lot of work but it's gonna be worth it, trust me." I don't know at what point in his speech I stopped crying and put my legs down.
"One day, they'll look at you... maybe they'll still hate you or they won't but you need to know that at the end you're better than them because you would have held your head up and you would have gotten past all of their negativity. You are better just for making it this far. Now you will walk in that church and show you dad that you don't give a damn what he thinks or believes." I found myself getting lost in his eyes as his words sunk deep into some part of my heart.
I didn't notice that his hands held my face and wiped my tears or that I was leaning into his touch.
"Lets go." I said, my voice hardly audiable.
He smiled widely leading me out of the car. Meg and Jax stood by the door of the church so we rushed to meet them.
"Wow, Alex must have some kind of magic touch or something. Whenever Ethan panicked as a kid, no one could calm him down, not even Dianna." Jax laughed.
I blushed thinking about that, how is it he can calm me down so easily anyways?
"Oh! That's so true! Alex has some skills!" Meg shouted.
"Can we go in before I regret bringing you guys?" They laughed before walking in.
Immediately we saw a long corridor with door frames and no doors. We could hear voices so we followed the sound to the third door to the left. My father stood at the end of a long isle he was looking at a woman with black hair pulled back in an elaborate hairstyle in a white dress with a long tail. The audience was quiet and paid attention to the priest performing the ceremony.
We sat at the last set of seats at the far back. I'm not sure if anyone was listening but I know I'm not. I am looking at this... Elizabeth, studying her face, she has skin like cinnamon, she has eyes like chocolate, her upper lip is bigger than her lower, her cheeks are chubby, in a cute way. She's pretty... but my mum is prettier. She is a great deal shorter than my dad. She looks like a common person, I wonder what he saw in her. Or what she saw in him.
"I do." She smiled happily at my father who smiled back at her.
"I do." He laughed a little.
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." He leaned down to her level picking her up to place a soft kiss on her lips.
People began standing up and exiting the church. We followed after an elderly couple to see the guest lined up on either side of the cemented pathway. When my dad and Elizabeth began to come out every other person began to throw rice at the newly married couple. We stood at the far end, farthest away from the church door.
The couple approached us with smiles on their faces.
"Oh, you're Ethan, right? I'm Elizabeth." Elizabeth stopped in front of us holding on to my dad's hand.
"Yeah, nice to meet you." I smiled politely.
"So, are you his boyfriend?" She smiled looking at Alex making my eyes go wide.
I didn't expect her to react that way.
"No ma'am, I'm just a friend." He smiled, but it was weird, it seemed forced almost, not like the ones that bring the warmth to my chest.
"Oh, okay. Umm... I'll see you at the party we've got to go." She smiled one last time before walking with my father to a limousine parked a little ways away.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in with a heavy sigh.
"See, nothing happened." Meg said.
"Well we've still got four hours left of party to go."
"That doesn't start for another two hours though." She countered.
"Yeah."
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So, next chapter, things get complicated so take a minute to mentally prepare yourself for anything and everything. I was gonna make this chapter with next chapter but it would be too long so I cut it in half. By the way I'm not really sure how weddings work the last wedding I went to was my grandmother's when I was like eight so I don't remember much so don't judge me. Anyways I gotta go. I need to take a shower. By the way guess who's in my school musical? Me. We're doing In the Heights by Lin-manuel Miranda. Love that musical. We have a lot of rehearsals so if I'm late to updates that's probably why.
January 28, 2018