What? I signed, expecting the worst.
"Nico, look," Will said, "I'm sorry. I was acting in the moment- I shouldn't have... have..."
Kissed me? I felt my heart sink.
"Exactly." Will's head hung a little. "You made an... awesome... love confession thing, and... just... let me saw something." He seemed to be picking his words very carefully.
"Nico, I've wanted to be with you for a while, and I'm pretty sure you know that by now." He pulled a pack of yellow sticky notes from his pocket. "But... I guess I'm not ready yet. You've been through so much, and I don't know if..."
I looked Will dead in the eyes. If what? I tried to make my sign as menacing as possible.
"If I'll ever be able to make you... happy enough."
Sure, it was cheesy, and yes. I loved Will, the cheesy mess. Sue me. I don't care. So, I marched right up to him. Our bodies were less than three inches apart, but I was shorter than him. My head only went up to his neck. I was eye level with his collarbone.
W-I-L-L, I signed, spelling out every letter in his name, you're an idiot. But you're also the best idiot alive. Yes, that was one of my pick-up-line/joke crossovers.
Will smiled at me, but stepped back a bit. "Nico, I don't know... just give me time. Please."
It's fine, I signed, looking down. Will could have been signing swear words at me and I wouldn't have known. Most people don't, I stopped signing midsentence. Then tried again. Most people don't care.
I smiled at him. Just friends?
Will didn't smile back. He didn't even blink. It was hard to tell if he was breathing. All I knew was that his mind was at work. Angelica Schuyler would have been proud of that mind, for sure.
But I didn't know what he was thinking of- probably some "Turn Your OperGAYter Straight Or Your Money Back!" thing for himself. I don't know.
So I turned away.
And walked.
Not home, but anywhere. I wasn't sure where, but I wanted to end up somewhere. Anywhere except home.
Ha ha, yeah, no. I walked straight home in an angry/disappointed march. I was a good child and my mother knew it.