I'm getting better with updating, are y'all proud of me? My first New Years resolution was to finish this story, so I'm getting pretty close to my goal. Thanks so much for your continued support and patience again. 😭💕
31. My Dirty Little Secret
Nia Riley
My fingers traced the lines and patterns scattered around Dave's bare chest as we laid together, really for the last time before I went home.
"You gone cry or you gone stay strong for daddy?" I mumbled, brushing his unruly eyebrows into place with my fingers.
"Girl please don't get hurt in here."
I laughed. "Forreal Dave, whatchu gone do? We been together everyday, fucking everyday, you gonna replace me?"
"I couldn't replace you even if I wanted to."
"You're such a smooth talker."
Now it was his turn to chuckle. "I'm forreal, the way you make me feel, only you can do that for me."
"And how do I make you feel?"
"Like I can tell you anything, we can do anything, be anything. I only felt like that when I was with my cousin Leek, I ain't felt that way 'round anyone since he died."
I leaned on my elbow and pressed my lips against Dave's. "I feel special that I can make you feel that way."
"You are special Nia Love, I see so much creativity, love, and good in you, don't ever forget that, and don't ever let anyone dim your light. You hear me?" Dave's eyes locked with mine, trying to show me he meant every word.
I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't want this to end."
"What I told you? If we meant to be God's gonna bring us right back to each other. Let's just enjoy each other right now, and worry 'bout all that later. Okay?"
I nodded and allowed Dave's tongue to slip past my lips and interlock with mine, just as our fingers weaved together.
Right back to each other like we never even left, I hoped.
•
I stretched out my arms, allowing myself to take my phone off of airplane mode and text Ebony to let her know I had just landed,
"Please stay seated until the aircraft doors have opened. Thank you for your patience." The voice said over the intercom.
It was a booked flight, and I was all the way in the back, so I adjusted my carry- on on my back and got comfortable, cause I had some time to waste.
My phone started buzzing, all the notifications I'd missed due to lack of service popping up on my screen.
Emails, emails, reminders, calendar alerts. David.
I'm tryna sleep before this show and all I smell is your hair products - David, 9:23 AM 💙
I smirked as my fingers flew across the screen.
Is that a bad thing? - Nia, 12:56 PM
I locked my phone and tucked it away before starting my journey through the airport to get my bag and find Ebony.
I managed to find my one suitcase and walk to the terminal entrance where I told Ebony to meet me, but once I got to the doors, I quickly started regretting my choice.
It was noon at LAX on a Saturday, paparazzi was just crowding the door like leeches looking for any celebrity they could put their eye on.
I wasn't a celebrity at all, but I had been recognized with a few, and Chris was in the tabloids somewhere every other day it seemed.
I put down my head and put my head over my head, looking down at the ground as I walked outside.
"Hey that looks like Chris Brown's girl, hey Mrs.Brown is it true that Chris is a bad father? Is it true you two are breaking up? You both have been spotted in different parts of the world, can you confirm any rumors?" Three photographers started questioning and flashing their cameras in my face as I tried to look for Ebony's BMW, thankfully the rest really didn't care about me.
"No comments. Please go get Chris's latest single on iTunes and every streaming platform, thank you."
I spotted Ebony's drop top convertible and maneuvered over to it, throwing my suitcase in quickly and rushing to the passenger side.
"Bitch you know they dry when they start asking me questions." I laughed after she'd pulled out of the makeshift parking spot she made.
"They'll make a story about a like bitch, anything, a slip of the finger. But anyways sis, you look amazing."
"I do?"
She nodded. "You look so refreshed, I've never seen your skin so clear."
I couldn't help the smile on my face. Dave had taken a lot of my facial routine out, just leaving me with a good facial cleanser and moisturizer, coconut and rose water.
"It's Dave, he's been so good to and for me bitch. I'm thinking about going vegan soon."
Ebony's eyebrow raised. "The bitch who orders steak everywhere we go, is gonna stop eating meat. I gotta meet this guy, seriously."
I shook my head. "It's not even like that, you know how I have my moments of confusion, where I'm just like what the hell am I doing with this life of mine? When I'm with Dave, I don't have to question a thing, everything makes sense and just works."
"And I support you, and I'm happy you've found someone who understands you, but have you talked to Chris at all? You just gone act like he don't exist?" Ebony questioned, merging into the lane beside her. One thing I didn't miss about LA, the traffic that just appeared out of nowhere, and lasted for hours.
"Definitely not. Why do you think I came back? Things need to be handled and talked about."
"There we go, that's what I wanna hear. Business first, pleasure second. Speaking of business, who's writing me my check?"
I rolled my eyes at Ebony, cause she knew I wasn't signing a damn thing.
Business first, pleasure second, yup, it was good to be home.
•
I unlocked the door to my office, bending down and picking up all the mail and packages that had been slid through my door mail door.
"Ayeee my Polaroid camera came in." I mumbled to myself, sifting through everything I'd missed. I could only imagine what the mailbox at home looked like, especially because Chris wasn't there.
At home. Was that really my home anymore? I knew my things and life were there, but I was already living out of boxes, what would it hurt to live by myself again while I figured things out.
Like Dave said, I needed to figure out what worked for Nia, and right now it wasn't Chris and I. There was so much negativity and toxic energy in that relationship, and I didn't know how to clear the air.
Of course I loved Chris, we'd been through so much and learned valuable life lessons though each other, but sometimes that's all relationships were, lessons.
Who knew though, only time could really tell.
I leaned against my desk, ripping open envelopes with my nails, when there was a loud knock on my office door.
I didn't really have pop ups, but I wondered how many people had come to my office while I was away. I had updated my social media's, but not everyone followed me.
I opened the door, staring at a wide built white man who looked to be in his mid thirties, who held a white envelope in his hands.
I was getting really tired of envelopes.
"Can I help you?"
"Nia Riley?" His eyebrow raised.
"And you are?"
"A delivery man from a very prominent visual design company located downtown. This is for you." He handed me the paper, turning around and walking away just as quickly as he'd came.
Very prominent visual design company? And they had something for me? Whet?
I ripped the envelope with my thumb slowly, not so eager to read what was inside. It didn't make sense.
I scanned the words, almost wishing I could redo the previous hour. I wouldn't have came to my office at all, just went straight home and stayed there. Scratch that, I would've missed my flight on purpose and stayed with Dave, where things were simple, and I didn't have to worry about bullshit like this.
I was being served, well not just I, Chris was being taken to court, yet again, by his baby mother Nia, for being an unfit parent, and she wanted full custody of Royalty, with of course, an increase in child support.
But this time, I was being included, as a witness against Chris, to discuss his parenting skills. Man didn't no one have time for this lame broke bitch!
This had to be God though, what were the odds that I just got home from being in a whole other state, and as soon as I came into my office I got served.
You had to make sure someone received the information when serving someone, and I had just happened to be here.
It wasn't just coincidence.
Now I just wondered if Chris knew about this, when he was going to receive his, and what he was gonna do about it.
•
When I walked inside the house, I guess I expected things to be different, arranged in a fashion, things taken out, but it looked untouched and unlived in.
I knew Chris wasn't here, he was somewhere in Europe or Asia, I couldn't keep up, but somewhere on tour. I also knew we needed to talk, especially before I made any drastic decisions.
I didn't know if I wanted to speak on Chris's behalf, simply because it was too much drama going on. Everyday it was some new shit with Nia, and her crazy broke desperate life.
How many times was she gonna drag Chris, and her daughter especially, through court and all this bullshit just to get more money. It was ridiculous.
I did the first thing that came to my mind as I walked through the house, memories just filling my mind.
I called Chris, listening to it ring over and over again, until his voicemail came on. I hung up and tried again, same result.
He was probably somewhere with an eight hour time difference, so I decided to text.
I just got back to LA, and we need to talk ASAP. I know I been running from things, but it's serious. Please call me when you have the chance. - Nia, 2:50 PM
I even went as far as to text Patrice, Chris's assistant and asked her to have Chris call me ASAP.
Ever since that crazy message, he hadn't reached out, and I hadn't either, but now it was time to, and I just hope he wasn't on any childish or hostile shit, I was just trying to help him.
I went upstairs to the bedroom, expecting it to look like how it had when I left, but it was clean and prepared just like a hotel. He must've had someone clean it up, cause it was too spotless for Chris to have done it.
I walked into my closet, and my bins full of clothes were still there, as I hoped, so I grabbed random things I needed to take a shower.
My phone was on the bed where I left it, so when it started to ring I almost missed it. Hopefully it was Chris, so I could get this over with.
Instead it was David, which automatically put a smile on my face. I plopped down on the phone and waited for the FaceTime call to connect.
"Hey you." I smiled when Dave appeared in the car, driving somewhere smoking on a backwood of course.
"Hey, sorry I didn't text you back, I been in the studio all morning. Wassup though? How was your flight?"
I shook my head. "It's okay, my flight was fine, after was different though."
"What happened?" Dave's eyebrows furrowed together.
"Just some legal shit with Chris's baby mom, as soon as I step into my office I got served, like what the fuck."
"Served to what?"
"I don't even know! I guess she expects me to say Chris isn't a fit parent, which isn't true. I don't like her, why would I speak on her behalf? She's nuts bro. I'm just so annoyed I'm getting involved in all this, especially when this is exactly what I need to get away from."
Dave nodded. "Yeah that shit is toxic, I could tell your mood was off as soon as you answered the phone. You prayed about it?"
"Not yet."
"Well you know what you need to do first then. Then talk to Chris, see how he wants to go about it, and go from there. But don't stress about it, what I always tell you?"
I sighed. "Just hold what I got. God got me."
"Exactly. Focus on your photography, your business, your brand, finding what Nia needs to do."
Dave genuinely cared about my wellbeing, and my happiness, and that just put me at peace. It was literally all about me, like he said all the time, he catered to my every want and need. Giving me my space when I wanted it, and touching me how I needed to be touched when it came down to it.
He allowed me to play with his emotions everyday, while I figured out what I wanted to do with this life thing, with no complaints.
Dave was just amazing.
"Girl what you over there thinking about? Looking like you bout to nut."
I laughed. "Just how good you are to me, and how you make me feel."
"How I make you feel?"
I sighed, thinking of how to express what I wanted to say. "You just put me at ease, as soon as that shit happened earlier, I just wanted to run back to New York to be with you. You genuinely care for me and how I feel, and what I want, and that's all I could ask for. You're so selfless and you have such a beautiful mind and soul, I just appreciate you so much."
"Aww baby girl, you got me ready to cry. I appreciate you so much. I told you I care about you Nia, I meant that shit from the first time I said it. I don't wanna say I love you, but you grow on me more and more everyday."
I couldn't stop smiling as I listened to him talk, especially when the word love came out his mouth.
I kinda think I understood what Chris was saying all those times about loving two people at once, cause I think it was slowly happening to me, and I didn't know what to do about it.
My Dirty Little Secret (in multimedia)
You claim you want me, that's something that you just gotta prove
A lot a dudes in Gucci uniforms like it's private school
Crazy me wearing these red-bottoms, done brought 'em out the blue
Young rich nigga, probably find me where Stella got her groove
Feel like I got her, so now I just gotta follow through
She telling me if we was together, I'd have to follow rules
I'mma see you, when I'mma see you, I make a lot of moves
I don't need you but I might keep you
What do I gotta prove?
[Chorus]
Don't nobody know we speaking
Thinkin' 'bout if I should keep it
You could be my little secret
Don't nobody gotta know
Thinkin' 'bout if I should eat it
If I'm workin' then I'm workin'
If I'm creepin' then I'm creepin'
Don't nobody gotta know
She got me thinkin' 'bout it if I'ma put a rubber on it
If I ain't wakin' up to her message it's just another mornin'
She really my type because she think love is boring
I don't know if it's the jewelry or the cash
That made her respond to me so fast
She ain't never asked me nothin' 'bout my past
Speeding I'm trying to look through her pictures
I almost crashed
Don't nobody know we speaking
Thinkin' 'bout if I should keep it
You could be my little secret
Don't nobody gotta know
Thinkin' 'bout if I should eat it
If I'm workin' then I'm workin'
If I'm creepin' then I'm creepin'
Don't nobody gotta know
Don't nobody gotta know
Don't nobody gotta know
Don't nobody gotta know
Christopher Maurice Brown
I sat down on the bed, my raw rolling tray in my lap, and my prescription bottle of Percocets spread out beside me.
I crushed one up and arranged it into a line, using my already rolled hundred dollar bill to sniff it into my nose.
"Woooooo!" I exclaimed, my whole body getting an adrenaline rush, just what I needed to do my show.
I started to crush another pill, and was about to inhale it, until Patrice bursted through the door, forcing me to have to move the tray over, and drop everything on the damn ground.
"Fuck Patrice! You don't know how to fucking knock?" I yelled, kneeling down to pick up all my shit quickly.
This dumb ass hoe had some nerve just barging into my room like that. I know we were on a tour bus but goddamn, was everyone gonna keep interrupting me like this?
"Chris I was knocking for two minutes. I just wanted to tell you that Nia's been reaching out to me. I know you said if she contacted you or any of us to let you know, so I am."
"Fuck that hoe." I snarled.
Patrice sighed, taking in the situation. "Chris, are you okay? You know you can talk to me about anything, and lately you've been really snappy, late to practices, just not you. I'm not gonna act like I'm blind Chris, I care too much about you to do that."
My eyes rolled. "You really care Patrice?" I sat back on the bed, opening my eyes up to take her in.
She really wasn't ugly. I'd never looked at her in that way, 'cause my momma had hired her like two years ago, after the Mina situation, and we didn't really talk unless it was about business forreal.
But now we were talking, and she was talking about she cared about a nigga.
Nia said she cared about me too. Look how that turned out.
I fucked it up. I fucked everything up.
"Come suck my dick if you care so much."
Her eyebrows raised. "Chris what?"
"I know you heard me, I'm going through it like you said right? Come help me." I shrugged.
"U-umm, I'm gonna go." Patrice stuttered, turning around and running out the same door she'd just barged through, closing it behind her.
"Shiiiit." I groaned, throwing myself back on the bed.
Now this bitch was gonna sue me for sexual harassment. Like I wasn't already on thin ice with Royalty right now.
Then Nia got the nerve to call now, a week later, like we need to talk. Bitch you need to eat this dick. Just like Patrice.
"Alright one more line and I'm done." I mumbled, sitting up and getting my routine ready again.
I'd clean up all my mess later.
You could be my little secret.
Don't nobody gotta know.