You said you love me but you left
Lord knows I really did my best
I relied on you to do the rest
Can't say I never loved you
And I was giving you me
Hoping that the possibility
Wouldn't need to set you free
Can't say I never loved you
Where you going I hope you're staying
There's no way you can repay what you took from me
Baby, no way
I'm not crying over you
Not gonna chase you down like some fool
If this is it baby have it your way
Amber's P.O.V.
"Wait, so this man is still spending thousands of dollars on you and you don't take anything from him? Now that's just crazy." Jordan said sipping on her drink.
My bestfriend Jordan had came over for breakfast since Xiamara was with her dad for the day. I was telling her about all Xiamarion's little antics lately.
"No, what's crazy is how he's trying to buy my love back. But money ain't gon help him with this. He needs to grow up."
"So you don't ever see you two together again? Like you wouldn't give him another chance ever?"
"I don't know. He says he's sorry and he says that he loves me, but I don't think he fully gets it yet. Everytime we see each other he's tryna sweet talk me back into his arms, but I'm not letting him off that easy."
"Well have you at least forgiven him?"
"I mean, I want to because it's the right thing to do. I really need to, but everytime I see him, that's all I think about is that night when I came home and found him in bed with somebody else. It would be one thing if he was at a hotel or something, but he brung this bitch to my house. And fucked her in the same bed that I slept and we made love in. That's what hurt the most. Not only did he cheat, but he didn't have respect for me either. And now he thinks I'll take him back after a few sorries and gifts."
"That's because he realized he fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him. Can't nobody love him the way you did. Y'all were inseparable since you was 14, eight years y'all were together. He loved you more than anything and when you had Xiamara, he seemed to fall in love with you even more. I seen it in both of your eyes. The problems only came when all the fame came."
"Which was another embarrassment. It was in the magazines, the blogs, everywhere. All because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. I'm just focusing on my music and Xiamara now."
"But you still love him don't you?"
"Of course I still love him, he was the love of my life. My first everything. My bestfriend."
"So you're still in love with him too huh? Cause see, right now the way you're looking and talking about him is saying you are."
"I don't know what it's like to not be in love with him. That's all I've ever known. But that's not the point. He hurt me in the worst way possible. I'm the mother of his child and I was supposed to be his wife. I just wanna punch him in his face sometimes. Then fuck the shit out of him. I don't know maybe I'm just crazy."
She bust out laughing, but I was so serious.
"Yeah, crazy in love. You still have a soft spot for him. You just be tryna be all tough in front of him to keep from letting him know he still got you. Yeah, you mad and you hurt that he cheated, but you love that man. You haven't been genuinely happy since the two of you broke up. Your ass used be all smiles everyday, now you just mean as hell."
"I am not mean." I thought for a second. "Am I?"
"Yes bitch. I'm just waiting for this world war between you two to be over, because bestie you need some dick, bad."
"Whatever. He's never getting any of this again until he learns how to be faithful. Or I can find somebody else."
"You know damn well you ain't gon date nobody else, let alone have sex with them. You so stuck on Xiamarion, you won't even go out on a date if I tried to set you up."
"That's because you don't really have good taste tryna choose somebody for me."
"Well maybe if you stop tryna compare every man to Xiamarion, you would actually find somebody else."
"I don't compare. They just don't interest me. Every guy wants to impress me with money and show off what they have because I'm the daughter of a legend and they think that's the only way to get to me. But I don't care about that shit. It's about your personality and how you treat me. See, with me and Xiamarion, he was literally the ying to my yang. And then I'm not about to have our daughter around just anybody. That wouldn't be fair to her or him."
"Well I have a friend. He plays for the New York Giants. He's really good with kids. Y'all have a lot in common too. Just hear me out before you say no."
"Oh, so you had this shit planned all along huh?"
"Maybe. But I swear he's a nice guy. Just give him a chance."
"Okay, were you not in the conversation we just had? I don't want anybody else."
"Amber waiting on Xiamarion ass is not gon help. It's gon take some time for him to grow and you haven't even forgave the man yet."
"I will eventually. I'm just still tryna heal. But tryna set me up with one of your lil friends ain't gon help me either. So tell your friend that I'm not interested."
"Ugh, you're so annoying I swear. Just go on a date with him, I'm not asking you to fuck the man. Maybe it'll help you get over Xiamarion. Try something new for a change."
"I will never get over him and I don't wanna try something new. But if I go on this date, will you please leave me tf alone. Don't try to set me up with anybody else either."
"I promise."
"Fine, but as soon as he do or say the wrong thing, I'm out."
"You don't have to worry about that with him. He's a gentleman."
"Yeah well we'll see about that."
"Just try to have a good time at least. Now, I gotta get home to my baby. We have a lil date tonight."
"Tell Isiah I said wassup and to keep ya ass in the house next time." I walked her to the door.
"Bitch bye. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you."
"Mhm love you too hoe."
I didn't feel like sitting in the house all day, so I called Ashley and told her to be ready in 45 minutes. I also called my other bestfriend Tae, I missed his crazy ass. I took a showered then got dressed and did my hair. I grabbed my keys and locked the house up before leaving.
I pulled up in front of Tae's house first since I knew Ashley's ass still wouldn't be ready. His ass came out the house being all dramatic running to my car.
"Bestfraaaaan!!!! It's been too long bitch!" He got in the car hugging all on me.
"I missed your crazy ass too. How's the new boo by the way?"
"Oh he's good. I been putting that thang on his ass too." He started twerking in the seat.
I just shook my head and laughed. As we were nearing Ashley's house, I called her to tell her to bring her ass on. She was sooooo slow getting ready.
"Bitch don't be rushing me. I'm coming shit! Don't make me call Xiamarion and tell him to come handle that ass." She yelled across the phone.
"Bitch bye. Just be outside when I pull up or me and Tae kicking your door in."
She just hung up on me, but she knew I wasn't playing with her. Tae has turned on the radio and had it blasting. You couldn't take his ass nowhere because he was gon show out! But I needed to let loose have fun today.
I pulled up in front of Ashley's house and she was standing in the door frame looking pissed asf. She got in the car slamming the door.
"If you break my shit, you're paying for it."
"Amber don't start lil girl. Hey Tae!" She hugged him from behind.
"Hey sis! Now Amber why you got our asses out here looking all fine and shit? Cause your ass be cooped up in the house nowadays. You got some dick didn't you?"
"What?! No! I just wanted to have fun today with my two favorite people."
"I thought Xiamara and Xiamarion were your two favorite people." Ashley said smirking.
"Okay y'all are like my second two favorite people. But we gon turn up today. I need to start back getting out of the house more."
"Okay, you sure Xiamarion ain't been breaking your back in on the low?"
"NO! Now stop asking me that shit! First Jordan got me agreeing to go on a date with this football player, now y'all worried about my sex life."
"Wait, you said you going on a date with somebody. And it ain't ya cheating ass boyfriend? How that work out?" Tae took his shades off all dramatically looking at me.
"Jordan convinced me to go on this date with her friend this morning. I told her I wasn't interested but y'all know how Jordan is, so I agree to go as long as she don't try to set me up on anymore dates."
"What if you end up actually liking this guy?"
"We'll cross that road when and IF we get there. Now we're gonna have a nice lil spa day, get all dolled up, then we fucking some shit up in the club tonight."
"Bitch you must be back foreal!! I thought your ass was gon be depressed FOREVA!"
"I wasn't depressed. I was heartbroken. And y'all acting like I just sat up in the house crying over that nigga all day."
"Because you did bitch. I was there." Ashley said perplexed look.
"Cause she looooooooooove him! That ain't ya babydaddy bitch, that's ya zaaaaaaaaddyyyy! You ain't gotta front for us."
"Tae I will stop this fucking car and put you out on the side of the road hoe."
"I'll just call a Uber tf. You just mad cause you know it's the truth. But y'all gon get back together soon, I know it."
"You mad sis?" Ashley rubbed my shoulder.
"Nope, but y'all can both suck a dick."
"It's okay boo. We gon get your nigga back and he gon be faithful this time."
We were at the spa now so I got out of the car locking the doors and went inside. I had already scheduled our appointment so we went straight back into the changing room. We took off our clothes and put them in the lockers, then put on the robes and slippers. After we were done, we were escorted into the treatment room.
2 Hours Later
"I needed that shit like a mothafucka. I feel so relaxed now." I said as were out at lunch.
The spa day was everything! I really had time to actually relax, release all the tension, and think about everything going on.
"Mhmm, maybe now your ass won't be so damn mean." Ashley said eating her salad.
"Nah her ass still gon be the devil. She's in a drought. She ain't had no bomb ass dick in a whole year. You need to call Xiamarion and stop playing. Forgive that man and let him beat them walls in so you can stop being so angry, shit."
"Yeah Amber you gotta stop being so resentful of him. I can't say I know how you're feeling but I do know that the only reason why you're so angry is because you won't let it go. I know it hurts that you gave him literally all of you and only gave back 60% in the end. He fucked up in the worst way possible but I ain't never seen two people, besides mama and daddy, love each the way you two did. And you still do up under all that anger, you do."
"I know y'all but it's so hard for me. In that moment, everything he told was a lie. Everytime he told me he loved me, everytime we made love, everytime he told me he was gon marry me one day. We were together for eight years and it just all washed down the drain. We literally talked about everything. And then once the first few albums dropped and he started working and being on the road more, it stopped. He started staying out late going to the strip club, come home either high, drunk, or both. I mean, I don't know how long it was going on or how many girls it was. I don't know what made him cheat or anything."
"But you have to forgive him Amber. And you have to remember that even though he cheated, he did love you. I mean, look at mama and daddy. He did her worse because he got the girl pregnant, but look at them now. That's the type of love that can't be broken and that's what you and Xiamarion have. Y'all just need to sit down like adults and talk. Do whatever you need to do to get closure from this. Scream, cry, hit him, whatever. Hear each other out. If that doesn't work though, you gotta let him go and move on. You're gonna be in each other lives for the rest of your lives, so you have to find a way to get along for Xiamara if you decide to never be together again."
"And we're gon be here, just as ratchet, every step of the way." We all started laughing.
"But foreal y'all, thank you. I need to do this, and I will. Whenever I feel comfortable though. But I will do this.
"You know her ass gotta be dramatic first and drag this shit out as long as possible."
"Goodbye Tae. Staying ruining the mood and shit."
Comment/Vote
Any thoughts?? Suggestions??
Is Amber really ready to let go abs forgive??
Why is it so hard for her to forgive him??
Will she be able to take him back or move on??