Selena...
The image reflected in the mirror is distorted and undecipherable – the aftermath of my very long hot shower, though failing to deliver the relaxation I was hoping for. Wiping the steam off its' surface, a girl with pallid skin and dark-ringed eyes is revealed.
I sighed. So much for trying to look better.
But what can I expect? It's been two tedious nights with not even a single ounce of sleep for me and now...
...now Harry's back in town and I don't have a single clue how to face him.
I've mulled it over and over again and I still haven't got an inkling on what I'm supposed to say to him. With a groan of defeat, I spun on my heel and paved to the bedroom. Since the incident two weeks ago, I haven't had the heart nor courage to stay at my house again, fueling my initial thoughts of having it listed. It felt too big for me anyway.
I knew house hunting should be up my alley soon, feeling I'd be more likely to cave in with the idea of selling my current one and quite near in the future. But for now I can't be bothered with it, having no qualms on staying in hotels for the meantime.
My hands toy with the different fabrics of my many clothes. There was already an ensemble waiting readily for me on the bed. I chose it before I went to the bathroom. But eyeing it now...I've no clue why I felt any sort of preference towards it in the first place. It was too...floral and I wasn't in the mood to be so cheery as of the moment.
My eyes scanned the pieces in front of me again.
Cashmere...hmm, no.
Crop top...too revealing.
Long skirt...too breezy.
Sheer...I'm not going to a club.
One after another, I choose a garment and after much ill-earned reviews from my own scrutiny place it back. And when I pick on the last piece I ask myself if I've always been this picky. Instantly my subconscious answers with a 'no'.
Just as a scream of frustration bubbles in my throat, I am distracted by a ping from my phone.
From: Harry
Babe? What time will you be here?
It's already 9:45. I could just go to yours, if you want.
Tossing my phone, I arbitrarily snatched a pillow and release the scream since I felt there was nothing more that would hinder it except for the fluffy material.
I don't want this day to end even more than I didn't want it to even begin. But it's here now and two hours later than our rendezvous time, I'm still here having accomplished nothing. I guess I've exhausted every possible reason I could and should finally get a move on from my dilly-dallying.
A tear escaped my eye and I wipe it angrily, grabbing the first outfit I could. Upon inspection, it's a black, long-sleeved, form-fitting mini dress and even if I first thought it's a tad bit inappropriate for the situation, now as I look at it, I'm thinking why the hell not. Sniffling softly, I put it on top of the bed, replacing the dress that was previously there and with the afterthought of dressing up for him one last time, went on to grab a red, sleeveless undershirt and a pair of stockings from one of my suitcases.
(o)
Ever since Harry sold his LA home, he's usually holed up in some hotel. It's quite risky seeing each other this way, but the one time I'm praying for some sort of delay, everything pans out smoothly. The back entrance is miraculously void of a single pap, an elevator is available with just a second from pressing the button and not one person disrupts my ride from the basement to the 42nd.
My head becomes lightweight with each step and when I arrive in front of his suite much sooner than anticipated, I almost feel faint. Before I could start with reasons, I bring a fist up for a knock, surprised by the firm sound it exudes, considering I'm currently having a hard time keeping everything still. The door opens soon enough, catching me in the act of smoothing non-existent creases from my dress.
Funny we're both shocked on seeing each other, but that soon dies down when our eyes meet. I see a tenderness in his pools I've never witnessed before and even with what I'm about to do, still it scares me to ask what's brought it on him. Our initial reaction is quick to dissolve however as soon as he notices my dress, his eyes raking over my form making warmth pool in my belly and it makes me glad I chose this dress.
"Hi" he says, swallowing a lump in his throat.
"Hi" I return, taking the hand he offers me, easily pulling me inside.
Once I'm inside, he releases my hand, turning around to close the door. He faces me again and I'm stunned speechless by the intensity of his green eyes boring into mine.
I don't think there'll ever come a day when I won't be charmed by his good looks.
These thoughts are forced at the back of my mind as his large hands find my waist, spinning me around, my back landing against the door with a soft thud. Soft, warm lips claim my own before his tongue coaxes for an opening and I gladly accept the invitation. Too distracted by this, I don't notice his hands moving until I feel them kneading my backside, the hem of my dress lifted to my hips. I lay my palms on the sensitive skin beneath his laurel tattoos and take pleasure from the hiss he emits.
This wasn't a part of my intention, thinking it was better to lay it out in the open and leave once done. There was no need to prolong the agony.
Nonetheless, I relished in it. It was a distraction, but more importantly I longed for the feel of him in between my legs, for him to bring me to that place where he and I only existed.
Not too long after, I'm left in my underwear and leggings, lying on the plush mattress of his bed. He's clad only in his boxers and standing in between my legs, desire washing over me as his eyes continued to study me.
"Can I please take a picture of you?"
"Wha – now?"
Harry gave me a silent nod, bottom lip caught between his teeth.
A lump in my throat caused me some difficulty in swallowing. He eyed me with hopeful excitement and that inevitably stirred some butterflies to fly in my belly. But as naughty as his request sounded, I didn't feel any ounce of disrespect at all.
"So I wouldn't have to miss you."
My mouth fell open, totally nonplussed by his statement.
What does that even mean? Does he know?...
Just as I made a move to sit up, Harry's lips came down on mine. One hand of his was on my cheek, giving my jaw soft strokes with his thumb while his other one gently kneaded my shoulder. If that wasn't encouragement enough, I don't know what is.
"Okay." My eyes were still closed as I conceded quite breathily, but I could still perfectly picture the grin on his lips.
I watched him disappear off to his wardrobe, probably to look for his camera. Having nothing else to do I laid down and began fumbling with my hands not knowing where to put them at first. One ends on top of my tummy and the other curled beside my head. Then on a last minute decision, hook my knees, crossing my leg on top of the other. Yes, I wanted it to be sexy, but I also want to make it classy as I can in case it's accidentally seen by somebody else, though I hardly believe Harry'll be careless with it.
He's distracted with his polaroid as he saunters back into the room, but when his gaze flits back to mine I literally have to bite my bottom lip from smirking as I witness him close to dropping his prized camera.
He gulps quite audibly before bringing the camera to his eye level and once satisfied with the angle, captures the image. The picture prints out and soon after he has it between his fingers, face breaking in a gentle smile as he stares at it. He tosses the camera onto his open luggage sprawled open on a corner and comes at me on all fours. I take that as the cue to separate my legs, giving him space to settle between them.
"Here" he hands me the photograph once he's hovering on top of me.
I take a look at it and can't help but to frown in confusion. It's a normal picture of me, nothing special compared to those taken at photoshoots, so I'm entirely at a loss what made his orbs gloss just by looking at it.
But that thought dissipated when I look at him again and I forget how to breathe properly as he stared at me so fondly.
And at that moment a song starts playing in my head.
Here we are so close to the end now
Still holding on and trying to pretend now
Clinging to a love we both know is dying
Tears prickle my eyes as I'm now glaringly convinced of the obvious
He knows. He knows.
He must've spotted my expression as he's quick to capture my lips with his. My pain undecidedly subdued or intensified as he expertly distracted me yet reminded me of what I'm about to lose.
His teeth nibbled a path from my lips to my jaw before nestling on the crook of my neck, his tongue soothing the indents left by his canines. I don't even realize he's got the both of us fully naked in a matter of seconds until he gives my nipples a taste while his arousal grazes the skin of my inner thigh.
"Harry" I moaned, grabbing fistfuls of his hair, tendrils curling around my fingertips.
Satisfied, with his assault on my now tender nipples, he raises his head, looking at me with intent.
"I love you"
I smiled, brushing some of his wayward curls off his forehead with my knuckles. "I love you."
I raised my head just as he ducked down, my mouth meeting his halfway. His tongue was hot and soft against mine, domineering yet compliant. He paid no heed as my left hand travelled south, blindly appreciating the sharp yet gentle contours of his body.
"Mia" he groaned against my mouth as I grasped his thick and pulsing shaft, thumb feeling for his slit that was slightly covered with warm moisture.
I can't help the smile on my face, proud of his body's reactions and even with his eyes closed I knew he felt the corners of my lips twitch against his as he gave out a playful growl before nipping on my bottom lip, making me giggle.
His lids lift, revealing vibrant green orbs as his hand tugs on my wrist, making me release my hold on his arousal. He encloses his hand on mine and lifts it up, placing a kiss on my knuckles when its level with our faces.
"Don't be cruel baby, no teasing please." He murmurs, lips brushing mine, laying our clasped hands beside my head and using it as leverage as his free hand took a hold of himself, lining it with my entrance.
His tip parted my folds and slipped into me with ease, making our lips separate as both our heads fell back from the pleasurable intrusion.
He stayed still for a moment, savoring my warmth that tightly clung onto his length, before his hips started thrusting back and forth in a gentle motion.
"Oh God" my nails raked down his back, stopping only to squeeze his firm ass, urging him to pick up the pace a little. Catching my thoughts, the movement of his hips quickened a little, making my toes curl against the sheets each time his pelvis brushed my clit.
"Mia" Harry groaned, burying his face onto the crook of my neck, as if drawing strength as my walls inadvertently clenched around him.
Picking up my left leg, he drew it against his shoulder, his member reaching deeper crevices, making me arch my back and pant his name in a scream. Harry lifted his head and I was glad he did as I was able to watch his beautiful face contort in pleasure. Drawing my head up, I opened my mouth and grazed his jawline with my teeth, eliciting another groan from him that I relished in.
He shifted again, drawing my lips in for a kiss, my hands instinctively tangling on his tresses, the strokes of his tongue matching the movement of his hips.
"Harry" I gasped breathily, the telltale signs of the pressure in my abdomen starting to coil.
"Hmm, you're close" he observed, his left hand coming to rest on top of my thigh as his thumb started drawing lazy circles on my clit.
My head shifted to the right, jaw dropping at the pleasure he was giving me. Harry took this opportunity to litter kisses along my jaw and neck before playfully giving my earlobe a gentle nip all the while his hips never ceasing with its movements.
"H-Harry"
"Hold it a sec for me babe"
"I-I can't" I cried out, my thighs tensing.
"Please baby"
Mg eyes clenched shut at Harry's whisper in my ear, willing everything in me to hold on to the bubble inside me that was begging to explode. His thrusts were becoming jerkier, giving me the impression that he too was close, but I really didn't have a clue how much more I could hold it in.
"Now baby"
Harry's mouth descended on mine, swallowing my scream of his name as I felt the aftermath of our pleasure trickling between my legs and seeping through the fabrics of his hotel bed. Harry's hips continue to roll onto mine albeit with weaker force before completely stilling as he spills the last of his load. Our lips separate, breath breaking out in pants as we stare at each other. Harry lets out an exhausted breath before slipping out of me, the sensitivity making us groan in unison.
He collapses beside me, arm instinctively reaching out to pull me onto him. There isn't any ounce of resistance as I roll on my side, body curving onto his. We lay there for a while, breaths evening out though none of us fall asleep as we are kept awake by the previous thoughts that occupied our minds, slowly tainting the high that enveloped us only a few seconds ago.
As I gain control of my senses, my gaze falls on his torso and instantly I am mesmerized by the swaths of ink decorating his skin. I don't even realize I'm doing it but I do notice a little later that I curiously trace each mark with my eyes and the tip of my finger until no image is left unexplored.
My eyes then come up to his handsome face...
"Don't do that"
"Do what?" I asked, brows furrowing in confusion.
Harry gave me a look, sighing before directing his stare at the ceiling. "The way you stare, it's like your memorizing me...like you're never going to see me again." If my heart wasn't broken enough, his words break it a little more.
"I'm not" I fib meekly, but only because I know his features by heart.
Unimpressed green eyes stared at me. "Feels that way and I don't like it."
My chest tightens, but try as I may I'm out of words. So I opt for something much better.
I cup his face and the instant my lips brush his, Harry wastes no second to respond. He kisses me like our very souls are on fire, like...
It's the last thing we'll ever do...
Our lips part as his knuckles brush down my arms.
"Stay" he says, more of a demand than a request. Though I'm uncertain if his plea means extending my hours here at his hotel today or to a much, much longer period.
And as much as I'd like to acquiesce to both, too bad I can only agree to one.
"Okay"
Yet despite myself, I smile when he does too.
"I'm starving, you want to check out the hotel menu for today? We can just have room service."
His statement reminds me I'm yet to fill my stomach with the first meal of today and in spite of the initial tension lingering in the room, this one doesn't take me long to decide. "Yeah sure"
With another kiss to my temple, we both stand up to get dressed. After putting on my underwear, I scavenge the room for the rest of my clothes and when I finally get a hold of it, I realized how intricate it was to put on again when chances are high that we'd be discarding our clothing again later on.
"Uhm, Harry"
"Hmm?" he inquired turning to me once he's managed to poke his head out of his shirt.
"Can I borrow one of your shirts?"
His eyes widen a bit, obviously not expecting my wish though seemingly appeased with it as he sends me a warm smile before grabbing a clean shirt of his and handing it to me.
"Here, I'll see what's on the menu okay?"
He pecks my lips again, lingering longer than necessary, though I don't find anything wrong with it and almost beg him to come back as soon as he steps out of his bedroom. I stared at the door, long after his figure is nowhere to be seen and I wondered if by the end of this day that's all it'll ever be – empty doorways and echoes of his fading footfalls.
Shaking my head, I pull the shirt over my head and follow him down the living room. Just as he declared, he's busy silently perusing the menu with his eyes and I take the time to appreciate his side profile. My arms wrap around his slim waist as I nuzzled my cheek on his back taking in the scent of clean musk and a tiny hint of sex that warms my entire face. One of his hands withdraw its hold from the menu and goes on to lace with mine that's on top of his tummy.
I sighed, no matter how tedious my day was, this right here, with his hand on mine was my reward. Unfortunately, there seems to be truth indeed in the saying that all good things must come to an end. Yet despite all odds I wished in my heart that I could keep this forever.
Inadvertently, my eyes land on one of the couches and recognize my purse laying idly on it.
Funny I don't even remember leaving it there...oh well
Reluctantly, I disentangle myself from him, his groan echoing my sentiments. Grabbing it, I think of checking my phone and frown when I see it's almost completely depleted of power, only realizing now that I've forgotten to charge it.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?" He asked offhandedly, not tearing his gaze from the menu which gives me the urge to laugh.
"Food choices giving you a hard time?" I chided resuming my former position.
"Hey! I can't help it, you made me hungry." He turned, facing me with a pout that instinctively pulled me in for a kiss.
I rolled my eyes slapping his chest lightly. "Could I borrow your charger?"
"Sure, it's in the top drawer, right side of the bed."
"Thanks, please choose for me. I just need to check on my emails." I said, pecking his lips before going back to his room.
As instructed by him, I found his charger with much ease and wasted no second on grabbing it. The drawer was filled with Harry's things and normally I would never be a snoop and invade a person's privacy, especially his. But that was until I spotted my name printed on one of the documents.
It could've been anything, anything that he might be planning to show me later on. But as much as I tried to convince myself to look the other way and close it shut, the sudden thundering in my chest prevented me from prying my gaze off it.
My hand snatched it quicker than I could re-consider and as soon as my eyes ghosted over it, my heart sank.
August – First sighting
September – Second sighting closely followed by a couple more (no confirmation should be made but pictures should guarantee to create speculation)
September (3rd to 4th week) – Publishing of articles....
Pictures...articles...
A numbness I've never felt before came over me and even before I could stop myself my hands were already pilfering through the drawer and just like it said, pictures of me and Harry were bundled on top of the number of articles I recognized by memory. But the most striking thing of it all was the familiar signature scrawled above the dotted line at the bottom right of what I'm now certain of as a timeline.
Just as if to validate my discovery, in came barreling a very disgruntled and frantic Harry.
None of us were able to say anything and I didn't think we needed to anymore, our eyes were already conveying the same emotion that we both felt – regret.
Him, probably regretting that he forgot the contents of his drawer or perhaps of not telling me anything sooner.
And mine – the regret of finally finding my reason to break up with him.
AN: I know!
I'm terrible. But thank you so much for putting up with me.
I love you all!
Please don't forget to vote and comment.
Thank youuu!