Torn

Chapter 4

AN: Thank you for your kind words everyone! :)

A little warning, a bit self-pleasure involved, if you'e not comfortable with that you can PM me and I can send you the chapter without that part. I love you all :)

August 2015

Selena...

The gravel of the tarmac that crunch beneath my shoes is all the acknowledgement I need to say that we have indeed finally landed. I have been so used to spending my days and nights on the comforts of the jet, tour bus and different hotels that the idea of settling down on one place is quite foreign to me now, even if it's my home.

Home.

I admit that I have been and still am quite unsure of my emotions with the thought of coming back here. But I can't deny the surge of excitement that I felt, especially with the idea of being able to cuddle with Gracie again.

Despite the twilight covering LA, the blowing breeze does not give me the need to don a heavier jacket especially since it is still summer. This is one of the things I've certainly missed about this place.

"Oh LA, how I've missed thee"

I instantly feel a pang of guilt from Liz's melancholic tone as she descended the jet, her eyes roaming around to observe the possible changes. I know however, that it is not the place that she refers to, rather her family that she had been forced to abandon due to my adamant request to stick to schedule. Different from the original plan, 18 months had stretched to 26 months on the road and it didn't help that our commitments have been pushed to an early start because of my intent to leave in haste.

It's been two years.

STOP

This has been a practice of mine now. It wasn't easy at first, but in time I got better at it - filtering my thoughts in order to prevent it from wandering towards dark waters.

"So is there anything to disrupt our six-month vacation now?"

"Just a few interviews, promotions, premieres and music videos. We would be flying to a few places, but nothing major Kate." Aleen replied after successfully winning the battle with the stairs and her luggage.

It wasn't my intention to come home yet actually, but I know I owe it to them already. I did insist at first for them to head home without me, keen to search and bury myself into new commitments. They scoffed at this newly developed behavior of mine, saying I was becoming a workaholic. I just smiled at them.

I thought of it as an accolade, but really if I was being honest with myself - it was just an alibi. Unfortunately however, I ran out of it.

I knew however, that no matter how much I prolong it, I will eventually cross paths with him, more so that we're under the same industry and share almost the same circle of friends, though of course, I prefer it later than sooner.

I just pray that when that happens, it will be in a room full of people that would limit our chances of taking notice of each other's presence. Besides, there's even no guarantee that they're here right now.

My decision to go home after Christmas was immediately flushed down the toilet after hearing the strict order from my mother's voice, that and the pesky demand from one obnoxious blonde that I am not allowed to miss her birthday.

"Rosebud!"

Speaking of the devil

My head whipped at the excited voice and I'm sure that the smile on her face mirrors my own. "Care bear!" I open my arms and immediately the wind is knocked out of my lungs as she launched herself towards me like a projectile locked on its target.