Torn

Chapter 8

Harry...

It's been 4 hours since my lunch, but the steak I had has finally been successful in leaving my stomach after making numerous trips up and down my throat. I flush the toilet as I finish my heaving and make my way out of the cubicle.

It's a good thing I'm alone because I'm not in the mood to deal with prying eyes and nosey questions right now.

The pale, clammy reflection that greets me in the mirror is not a welcoming sight and makes me cringe.

I guess this is how much effect she has on me.

I don't know if I have the right to be mad, we did share one night. A night that I have almost been convinced she wanted too, but she did flee, leaving me with a broken heart and a thousand questions. I am already on the verge of insanity, but I meant it when I said that we should talk only when she's ready. But now, with more revelations surfacing, I am not so sure anymore if the time I gave her is a good thing.

I am thankful that Louis bit his tongue and saved his inquiries for another day. But there's no denying the bitterness his tale left me.

Louis closed his eyes and took a breath before opening them again. "It was brief, but I'm quite positive that they dated last year."

I almost wanted to double check if I heard correctly, but I preferred not to, hearing it once is more than enough.

"I'm sorry Harry, but please calm down mate." Louis said in a placating tone, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I haven't told anyone about my feelings for her, but the way my best mate comforts me makes me almost certain that he knows.

At first I am baffled why he is calming me down, since he has seen me at my worst behavior and right now, I am just standing silently still. But that is until I take notice of my breathing coming out in hard, angry pants while my fists are almost drained off color, my nails undoubtedly leaving marks on my palms.

With that I become aware of the great urge to throw or smash anything within arms' reach. I don't care how, as long as it is wrecked.

"When?"

The gruff voice is almost unrecognizable but I know it's mine as I feel my lips move.

"Let's sit down first, yeah?"

I almost snap at my best mate thinking it's unnecessary; whatever I'm doing won't soften the blow anyway. But I comply nonetheless; he's doing nothing but to be a good friend and to lash out at him would accomplish nothing other than to burden me with guilt.

"Niall always fancied Selena" Louis said after seating down.

My eyes close on instinct at the same time I intake a sharp breath. But just like a while ago I prefer to remain silent since I do not trust the words that will leave my mouth.

"He said they just sort of bumped into each other last year. They talked and well I guess he saw the chance to ask her out. So they did...three times. We don't really know what happened after that, but Niall said it just didn't work out."

I don't need to guess who Niall quoted that statement from and honestly I don't know if I should be relieved or bothered, since that was the phrase she reserves on occasions that affect her more than she lets on.

I close my eyes again, burying my face in my hands, bent elbows settled on top of my knees. I feel Louis place a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I do not make any move to acknowledge it. I could see her face in my vision, a light to the darkness against my closed lids.