I watch what use to be Sophia stumble towards us. I slowly walk backwards then turn and walk towards the woods. Once I hear the gun shot I start running. What do I do? Do I cry? Do I scream? Why did it have to be her?
When I reach the edge of the woods the barn is in the distance and I walk into the woods. I lean on a tree for a moment to catch my breath. Then something grabs my shoulder. I rip my knife out of my boot and turn around quickly but, I have nothing to worry about.
“What do you want Daryl?” I ask and turn a away from him and start walking further into the woods.
“Ya ran off I didn’t want you hurtin yourself.” He tells me and follows behind
“I can handle myself. You think that you would realize that by now.” I bark at him
“Are you okay?” he asks me
I don’t think I am.
“Of course I’m not. I prayed. I begged. Damn, I almost died.” I yell at him and continue “ But it all ended up how it usually does with someone dead. I can barely comprehend that she’s gone. I mean I knew somewhere in the back of my head that she was gone once she ran into those woods but I just kept fighting it.” I don’t know what else to say. Sophia’s dead. Oh my God. Sophia’s dead.
I collapse to the ground and Daryl sits next to me. Tears stream down my face but I don’t make a sound I just look at the ground.
“Why!” I scream “Just why?” I face him “You know part of me wishes you just let me jump. This pain is just as bad as when Mavie…” I trail off and sob some more.
“Ya don’t mean that.” He tells me
“Yes I do I can’t take-“ Daryl puts his hand to my cheek and pulls me in and kisses me and most of the pain disappears. Then he pick me up bridal style and carries me out of the woods. I don’t think I would have been able to walk out myself.
He brings me to the R.V. and I get down from him carrying me. I walk into the R.V. and see Carol sitting in the booth. I take a seat in front of her.
“Carol we are going to go have a service for Sophia.” I tell her weakly
“I’m not going.” She says simply
“That’s your little girl.” Daryl tells her
“That’s not my little girl.” She says and I hold her hand and another tear rolls down my face.
“Well at one point she was.” I tell her and she looks at me with big sad eyes.
I get up from the booth and wipe any stray tears on my cheeks and I walk out of the R.V and they follow.
----
We all stand in silence. I watch the faces of everyone here. Some angry. Some sad. I finally understand what I’m feeling and its disappointment. I really thought that she would have made it. That she would be the miracle the group needed. Then I look at Lorie. Maybe her baby was the miracle. I feel for the onesie in the back of my pants and it’s still there.
Everyone goes their own way and I stay at the grave for a moment kneeling in front of it. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder that belongs to Daryl. I stare up at him for a moment then look back down.
“Are you okay?” he asks me worriedly I shake my head.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be.” I say truthfully and get up from my kneeling position.
“I’m going to go to the house for a bit.” I tell him and he nods.
As I make my way towards the house I see Lorie exiting the house. She has her gun out and is checking it.
“Where are you going?” I ask
“Rick went out to find Hershel because Beth is catatonic and he hasn’t come back yet. I’m going to find him.” She tells me and starts to make her way to the car.
“No way are you going alone.” I tell her and I jump in the car with her before she can refuse.
“So where are they?” I ask
“There at a bar I town.” She tells me and I nod.
I suddenly remember the onesie in the back of my pants. I lift myself barely off the seat and pull it out to show her.
“I saw this and thought the baby would like it.” I tell her and she turns to look at it and smiles and I put it in the back of my pants.
“You didn’t have to do that. But I love it thank you.” She says then looks back to the road and screams.
I turn forward and see a walker in the middle of the road then suddenly the car flips and everything goes black.
----
I wake to the sound of click clack. My head is pounding. I open my eyes fully to see a walker eating through the glass trying to get to Lorie.
I shake Lorie and she opens her eye. Then she screams when she notices the walker. As she takes the shift of the and drives it through the walkers skull as I kick the door open. We quickly climb out of the car. My head still pounding. When I go to standup something grabs my hair and Lorie goes back into the car to find her gun. I grab a nearby tire rim and hit the walker’s neck with it and listen to the sound of it snapping. Then Lorie shoots it in the head.
“Are you okay?” I ask rubbing my head.
“Yeah I’m fine.” She says I look ahead of the road and see what looks to be a gas station.
“We’ll hold up there.” I tell her pointing ahead
We start to walk towards the station. I still hold my head and stop for a moment because I feel dizzy. But I keep going. We reach the station and I walk in and grab my knife from my boot. I hear slight moaning coming from the back of the store.
“Stay here Lorie.” I tell her and she nods
I walk down the aisles and see at the end of one is a walker that looks to be a man but half his face is missing. I quickly plunge my knife into its skull and I wave Lorie in.
She walks up to me and I notice blood dripping from her forehead.
“I’m going to check the bathroom for a first aid kit. Okay.” I tell her and walk towards the end of the store and into the disgusting bathroom. I look under the cabinet of the sink and find a few bandages and some gauze. I take them and shove them in my pocket. I look in the mirror. I notice I have a busted lip and my cheek is starting to bruise. I look at my hair that goes down to the middle of my back. I rummage through the cabinet again and find scissors. I look back at the mirror and start to cut my hair, when I’m done its shoulder length. I take a hair tie around my wrist and put it up in a small ponytail.
I walk out to where Lorie is and I take a bandage out of my pocket and start to put it on the side of her head.
“You cut your hair.” She says and smiles
“Yeah don’t need a repeat of what happened at the car.” I tell her and when I finish I smile back. I take a bandage out of my pocket and put it on her temple and throw the wrapper on the ground.
“You hungry?” I ask and she nods
I walk down the aisle labeled “Snacks” and grab a bag of onion potato chips.
I walk back to her and we walk outside and sit on a bench. I hand her the chips and she laughs.
“When my mom was pregnant with Mavie this is all she ever ate.” I say and she smiles and opens the bag and hands it to me and I grab a handful of chips.
“Where’s your mom?” she asks me
“She died when in the beginning of this.”
“Oh I’m sorry Gemma.” She pats my shoulder
“It fine.”
As we sit outside I notice a light shining in the distance as it gets closer I recognize it as a car. I get up and try to get the attention as soon as I realize it’s one of our cars. Shane gets out of the car and Lorie joins me by my side.
“Are you okay?” Shane asks us but I know he’s only asking Lorie.
“We’re fine.” She tells him
“No you’re not I saw the wreck.” He says and takes a flashlight out of his pocket and shines it in her eyes and then mine.
“Gemma you might have a concussion. Your eyes are really dilated.” He tells me and I make my way to the car.
“I’m fine.” I say then slightly stumble “Just need some sleep.” I say and hold my head.
I get in the back of the car while Lorie and Shane talk. I stare at my feet. Trying to focus on something so that everything around me isn’t spinning. I think of the funeral today and it reminds me of the funeral that Mavie never had. I don’t really even want to think about it if anything, she would have gone to my funeral before she had her own.
Lorie climbs into the driver’s seat and I push the thought to the back of my head. We drive off back to the farm.
----
When we arrive to the house I quickly get out of the car and run towards Daryl. I jump in his arms to hug him and he swings me around. He lowers me and scans my face.
“What happened?” he asks me and puts his thumb to my lip and it slightly stings.
“We were in a car accident.” I say and pull the hair tie from my hair.
“You cut your hair.” He says and runs his fingers through my hair.
“Yeah it was getting in the way.”
“Where’s Rick, Shane.” Lorie asks frantically she looks around for Rick and looks back to Shane “You liar.” She half yells
“I had to keep the baby safe.” He tells her
“Your having a baby?” Carl asks sounding hurt.
I feel weak and I almost collapse but Daryl catches me before I can fall. He must know I’m tired because he carries me to the tent and lays me down and as soon as I hit the pillow I pass out.