Zay sighs, still avoiding my gaze. "I'm sorry. If I were normal we wouldn't have these problems."
"Zay, don't start with that again."
He stays quiet thankfully, and we both lay there for a while, listening to each other breathe. Our heated make out session had ended abruptly, and the lack of contact between us now feels as wide as an ocean.
"Amber?" he says next to me.
"Hmm?" I mumble.
"What do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what do you want to do after you graduate?" he asks tentatively, changing the subject entirely.
I'm quiet for a minute. He waits patiently, giving me time to answer. "I don't know," I finally say.
"Well, do you have any colleges in mind?" he asks, prodding further.
"No, not really. I've been thinking about it, and I don't know if I want to go to college right away."
"Why not?"
"It's just, I really love animals. I might continue to work with my mom at the Center and take her place as manager when she retires."
He thinks hard before he speaks again. "That sounds, smart actually. So you're pretty much set huh?"
"I guess so." I reach out my hand and lay it out in the space between us, an invitation for him. He doesn't move, although I know he's aware of my actions. I try to keep the disappointment out of my voice. "What about you? Do you want to go to college?"
"Honestly? I haven't thought about college at all."
I'm surprised. "Not at all?"
"Nope. This human school thing is kind of overrated if you ask me. From what I've learned about my ancestors, the way we went about life was much simpler."
I laugh quietly. "Oh really? And how would that be?"
"Well, when we still had packs with an Alpha and everything, none of us had to go to human school at all. We had wolf Scholars that taught us things, and then we found our rightful place in the pack, whether that be as a Doctor, Cook, or some other essential position. The Scholars taught us all of the important stuff we need to know about you guys. None of the useless math and science crap that we would never use again in our lives. Not unless we really wanted to learn it, or if we wanted to leave the pack to join the humans, and that was rare."
"Why doesn't that happen anymore? Why are you at high school?"
"Because of the Decreasing. All of the educated Scholars disappeared. So the Head wolves decided on sending some of us to high school to get our education. The other teens are getting the shorter version of high school, and a lot more werewolf training."
"Why you? How did you become one of the unlucky few that have to go to real high school?" I feel like an interviewer asking all of these questions.
"Cause my father has a higher rank in the werewolves that are left. Me and eight others were supposed to take four years of human high school and then finish with the other werewolves. I'll be the second one not to finish the whole way through."
I wait and see if he'll explain on his own but it's obvious that he won't. "What happened with the first one?"
He finally grabs my hand. "Being around humans was too much for him. He became what we call a MW. A misanthrope wolf. His wolf dislikes humans so much, that being surrounded by them too much drove the human part of him to be insane. Another glorious perk of the Decreasing. A lot of wolves giving into their true nature and becoming monsters."
A rush of fear goes through me, starting at the palms of my hands, swimming all the way to my heart. I squeeze his hand. "That won't happen to you babe. Don't worry. Besides, you couldn't possibly turn on humans now. If you can deal with Austin's existence you can deal with anyone. Plus, I know Maxim is growing on you," I say, ending with a yawn.
I hear him chuckle, which warms my heart. "If dealing with Austin means restraining myself from punching him every time he's around, then yeah."
"Hey, that's pretty good considering he's such a dirt bag." My eyelids start to droop shut , so I just give in. I close my eyes and move forward to lay my head on his chest. After a while I hear him start to hum, and instead of teasing him about it, I let it lull me to sleep.