You'd really expected Matt to have taken you on a date by now and if it wasn't for your stupid brain telling you to wait for him to arrange it you'd have asked him eight times already and it had only been six days. It was Friday now and despite your four lunch outings with him he had acted partially as though your kiss hadn't happened. It put you on edge; your brain wasn't wired in ways that allowed it to block out the over thinking; in fact it was quite the opposite. You didn't understand his disinterest some days, most of the time you'd been out at lunch he'd been showing you his comic drawings and you'd shown him your sketches, very reluctantly.
If Matt hadn't asked yet his kiss was one of three things, a dream that felt so real you were sure you were in the inception movie, an absolute fluke that only happened because the fans made him dizzy enough to latch onto you or the worst one of all a genuine kiss that he'd fully intended to dump on you but an after thought that made him rethink his stupidity. Your brain liked to push that one through your head on the hour and it had so far been enough to keep your questioning at bay.
Today was different, for a start college wasn't on this week which meant a day of suffering Janet. You'd happily caught the bus to work after your car was at the garage for a service it wasn't a big deal you were quite happy picking it up the next day.
You'd been so excited to see Matt on the day you wouldn't normally - opting to even make tea in the morning to catch him as you knew you'd find him there - but today you'd soon found out really wasn't your day.
After Matt hadn't showed for tea you'd text him, and taken the lonely lift journey up to your floor. You walked over to your desk Janet shuffling papers, her wiry hair even more untamed than usual, the grey strands reflecting under the light over head.
You looked to find John but he wasn't in his seat, though not uncommon for him to get in after ten an inkling fell to the pit of your stomach. You sat in your seat biting the bullet like every morning to acknowledge Janet's existence in not just the room but your life in general.
"Morning," you said as enthusiastically as you could muster.
"Hello," she chirped in a shrill unneeded tone, "John's not in today. Decided to fly out to France for the month."
"Oh...okay" was all you managed before you turned on your laptop to block her out.
It was mid afternoon and you'd managed to persuade yourself not to text Matt again, he clearly wasn't in work, but his silence had gotten you a little worried.
"Oh ___" Janet sighed rather loudly in a sarcastic tone.
You regarded her seriousness, surely she hadn't needed to say it so loudly people at least eight feet away had heard.
"Umm what di-"
Before you could even finish your sentence she had cut you off, and though you'd not thought it possible, she'd somehow managed to both whisper it and shout it at the same time, "You see these numbers?" She was round your side of the desk now bending over excruciatingly slow to show you the red binder in her hands.
You nodded in response dumbfounded by her audacity to show you up.
"Well what number is that?" She sighed impatiently rocking back on her heels.
"Eight-hundred and twenty nine?" You queried as though it wasn't the most obvious question someone had asked you since you'd left Primary school.
She flipped the page in a swift motion, your eyes adjusting to the page before ~ eight-hundred and ninety two ~ you smiled relieved you hadn't done something far worse, "ah okay I'll get that sorted right away, my mis-"
Again she cut you off her voice a snarl against the sudden silence on your floor, "And. What number should it be!?"
Your voice didn't falter, "eight-hundred and ninety three..." you trailed off feeling nervous under the intense glare she had on you.
"Get it done please," Janet proclaimed once more.
You steadied your fist under the table from swinging for her, as Pete rounded the corner.
Pete was the founder of your company, he was a smart confident business man that never had a smile on his face. He moved to stand by Janet his hand grazing her lower back somewhat discretely. You'd never really understood why they'd chose to keep their quite evident relationship under wraps, it was embarrassing to say the least.
The way they tried to deny it was often talked about by people around the office, especially on your floor.
"Is something wrong here ladies?" he said in his usual mundane tone.
"____ did the numbers wrong," she paused to roll her eyes and you reflexes yanked your other arm down from hitting him too "it's becoming a usual occurrence..."
"What!?" You blurted absolutely dumbfounded she had said something so obscene an uncalled for. You'd always known you and Janet weren't the best of friends but that low blow had really taken it out of hand, "Excuse you Janet but I never get the numbers wrong. This is a one off tiny mistake in the grand scale of things I told you I would happily change the numbers. If you'd have let me finish to begin with I'd have fucking told you I could do it in fifteen minutes maximum. So no for once no. I'm not fucking taking your bullshit because the amount of times I've covered for your mistakes I couldn't count on one hand!" you stopped for breath the sudden realisation of what you'd said dawning on you. The whole floor was silent and now your eyes had lost contact with hers you could see most of the other people around your desk were watching as baffled by what you'd said as you were.
"My office. Now." Pete stated. Your legs rising on their own to follow him into his glass office to the side of the floor you worked on.
He followed close behind you, an arm pulling the glass door too with a bang that didn't sound healthy. You were too afraid to look back and check there wasn't any cracks on the surface of it, in case your eyes should meet his.
"That is not how we speak to our colleagues. Especially our senior colleagues." He shouted and you were sure it was for the satisfaction that Janet would praise him later.
He was under her thumb as much as you were and that was saying something.
"I'm so sorry. It just came out, but I think her actions to belittle me were uncalled for," would your stupid mouth stop getting you in trouble today, you weren't sure.
"I don't care what she did. She is your boss when John isn't there she deserves respect-"
"-and I don't? I know the numbers were wrong she didn't have to announce it to the whole floor."
"If I hear just one complaint from Janet going forward you'll face a disciplinary. Do you understand?"
Your teeth grinded together he'd ignored you and he wanted you to respect him and his fifty-odd year old fuck buddy trapped with a ten year olds mentality.
"Fine."
You tried to leave his room, but he made you halt when he spoke again, "please close the door on your way out," you pulled it open and closed it as slowly and sarcastically as you could, flashing him a fake smile. Then you marched over to her and sat in your seat determined not to say one more thing to her, fuming Matt wasn't there to look out for you.
You left the office without speaking another word the reality of Pete's warnings resting heavy on your shoulders. You'd spent the entire day keeping eye contact with anything other than humans quite content on staring at your stationary holder.
Once you'd made it outside the rain that was pelting the ground had become a perfect cover for the impending tears. In your sorrow and anger you'd caught the bus you knew went close to Matt's desperate for some form of sympathy. Once you'd got off at the stop you thought was closest you'd began your soggy walk to his house.
You'd be walking a while before you'd decided to call Matt to tell him you were turning up at his house, the thought dawning on you he may not have been in. The rain was relentless your clothes sticking to your skin like a wet suit. You found every step you got closer to the triplet's house, the more you began sneezing, the more your tears fell and the more your body shook from the cold.
Matt hadn't answered but you were too needy for attention to stop, realising you could have gone to Sarah's had you have been less stupid.
It was too late to rebuke yourself you were going regardless even if you sat on his front step and cried until someone called the police. Your pace slowed as your got closer to the large house, far too large for the three of them, the garden out front looking more and more untamed the closer you got.
You reached the drive turned to see Ben's bike: a trophy to top off your misery that day. You couldn't go in if Ben was home, Matt's car wasn't on the drive, Kylo's nowhere to be seen. You couldn't rely on Ben for comfort. You wanted to drop to your knees, curl into a ball, let the pavement absorb you coat you in water, so your tears ceased to exist. You vaulted your buckling knees turned to walk back to the bus stop, the walk of shame, when you heard the beautiful sound of a car engine.
You turned on your heal intrigued which brother had come to your rescue wiping your soaked sleeve over your face as though it would remove your tears. The rain didn't seem to phase the shining black vehicle, in its presence you couldn't help be in awe as it parked on the brothers drive, from this angle you couldn't see its driver until he stepped out. He pushed the door shut and locked it using the button on his key fob, finally in view you saw it was Kylo.
You released the breath you didn't know you were holding, waiting for him to make the first move, "___?"
"Is Matty home?" You sniffed knowing the tears were about to reappear.
Kylo winced away from the rain as he came over to take your hand. He dragged you to the door, not speaking a work until he'd shut it behind you.
"What were you thinking? Where is your car?" he said concerned
"I'm sorry..." was all you managed as more tears flooded you.
"What are you apologising for?" he said rolling his eyes returning back into the corridor where you hadn't realised you'd been left. He passed you over a dry towel and you threw it over your shoulders desperate for even the tiniest scrap of warmth. You dropped to your feet trying and failing to untie the soggy laces on your shoes. You finally gave up and forced them off, propping yourself against the wall.
"Thank you..." You shivered wrapping the towel around you further.
He sighed, "I don't want any arguing. You're having a shower, and we are finding you some dry clothes. And then you're going to tell me what's happening."
You sniffed reluctant to get up from your comfort in the corner, he grabbed your hands pulling you up with him and walking you to Matt's bedroom, "This is Matt's room, have a shower then we talk."
"Where is Matty, is Ben home?" You sobbed
"They are at Mum's with Dad" he stated plainly.
"He didn't answer my calls he...he..." Your sobs started again as if you were incapable of turning the water off.
"Shower now," Kylo said getting impatient with your trail of dripping water that was following you around.
You didn't argue anymore only took his command and got into Matt's shower. You started the water peeling off your layers, your body tingling from the dramatic change in temperature, thankfully your pants and bra were dry enough to put back on later. You sat on the floor of his walk in shower the bumpy tiles sticking into you as you wallowed under the hot water in your self pity. Your tears had stopped your body too tired to cry anymore. You found yourself scratching your skin, itching from the temperature, refusing to stand up to wash yourself you grabbed his shower gel and lathered yourself up on the floor.
After some time just enjoying the heat, there was a knock at the door. You turned off the water and grabbed your towel wrapping it around you. You grabbed the handle deciding only to poke your head around the corner, "I've brought you some dry clothes, so pick what you want. Bring your wet clothes down and we can wash and dry them for you" Kylo said making sure not to look at you so you'd keep what scrap of your decency you had left.
You looked through the mainly black t-shirts he'd passed you, finding yourself gravitating towards the album t-shirt of Marilyn Manson's and chuckling tossing it over your head. It smelt like it had just come out of the wash but you doubted it, not imagining any one of the three brothers would wear a top like this regularly. You looked in Matt's mirror agreeing with yourself you could get away with the t shirt acting as a dress. You scooped up your wet clothes and saddled down stairs feeling embarrassed.
"I'm guessing this isn't Matt's?" you smirked as you walked into the kitchen hands full.
"It was a phase..." he said taking them from your hands and putting them in the washing machine.
"If you say so but I might call you Marilyn from now on..." you said learning on him slightly.
"I made you hot chocolate," he said rolling his eyes.
"Yes!" you said happily.
"Do you want to talk about why you turned up on our door step crying?" Kylo said and you turned back silent. Yes you did want to talk you wanted to tell him what had happened but you were more concerned as to why Matt had ignored you, it wasn't like him.
"Um..." he placed the hot cup in between your hands and guided you to the living room. You sat down in the spot you think you'd claimed as yours and placed your cup on the side table. Kylo sat beside you and pulled a blanket over for you to take. You gladly did pulling your legs up under it, now there was no chance of you flashing him.
"I want to tell you Ky. But I need to know why Matt is ignoring my calls first" you sighed.
"Dad doesn't come home very often. He's usually away for work,"
"Oh so why didn't you go?" No you shouldn't have asked that it probably wasn't in your jurisdiction to know their family affairs.
"I don't get on with Dad. But since he was in town such short notice Ben and Matt went to spend the day at theirs. I'm at a very important seminar," he rolled his eyes.
"Well I am quite important," you said feeling a lot happier than you had arriving at the triplets house, "still don't see why he wouldn't answer my calls" you said a little more bitterly than you had wanted.
"I wouldn't worry. Matt's a peace keeper no doubt he's just stressed and trying to keep everyone happy."
"Not me though," you huffed, "um...sorry."
"Stop apologising," he smiled taking a sip from his mug.
"Sorry..." You laughed, "So as for the reason I turned up at yours. I just really needed Matt," you shuffled to get comfortable, "someone I work with she full on humiliated me in front of my whole floor and to make matters worse, the boss – who she's fucking - walked in at the moment I lost it and basically said he's putting me through a disciplinary for basically doing absolutely nothing wrong".
"That does not sound good," Kylo furrowed his brow
"You're telling me. She deserved it. Stupid-" your voice was faltering but you didn't need to cry anymore you'd had quiet enough water running down your face today.
Kylo pulled you into a tight hug which you really hadn't expected, his strong arms making you feel safe "I'm sure that your boss won't fire you over this."
He pulled away from you all too soon and went back to get his drink, you went for yours now. It was just the right temperature when you brought it to your lips, sickly sweet taste and you hummed in approval.
"I'd hire you," he laughed "If he did."
"Oh really and you think I know how to teach..." you paused and air quoted "quantum physics".
"No but Matt told me you're good at art," Kylo shying away a little.
"You...you're...you teach," you said flabbergasted.
"Don't act so shocked," he laughed jabbing you in the side.
"No I love art. I'm don't think I'm any good but I do love to see all forms of art even the weird stuff you know just because it's so interesting to see how people interpret things," you prattled on.
He just smiled at you and you regarded it may have been the only genuine smile he'd ever given you.
"Perhaps I should call Matt you know. Just to make sure he knows I'm here...so he can warn me when he brings Ben home..." you fidgeted for your phone.
"Don't worry ___ I called him while you were getting dry" he used your nickname he'd chosen for you.
"Oh...so he answered you," you said sadly
"What did I say about him being a peace keeper? Thought I'd changed my mind and was coming over. I just told him I'd stole his girl for the night because he hadn't answered your calls. Sufficed to say I don't think it made him any less stressed," he laughed.
You laughed too but it was short lived when you realised what he'd said, "His girl?"
"You know he's been head over heels for you the first day he saw you. Me and Ben have told him to ask you out so many times before now. He wouldn't tell us much about you though, he probably knew this might happen," he rolled his eyes.
"Really?"
He just raised an eyebrow as if the three brother's attraction for you, wasn't the most obvious thing in the room.
You were blushing like crazy waiting for him to change the subject but you were too impatient, "can we watch something?"
"Sure," Kylo shrugged.
After a while of silence you managed to swallow your awkwardness and go back to being yourself. You could tell it was getting late and your earlier decision to accept any alcoholic drink he offered you for a bit of comfort and confidence was starting to make you regret it.
Alcohol made you flirty and that wasn't what you wanted right now, "Kylo you're such an idiot why would I do that?" you laughed.
You'd been talking about you and Ben. He'd known you were tipsy and liable to say anything to impress him and he was trying to get out of you what you'd done to make him hate you so much and likewise why you hated him equally as much.
"So what happened? I can't get a word out of him..." he admitted taking another swig from the bottle he'd brought in earlier.
"Why do you want to know so badly?" you laughed feeling a little better about the whole ordeal.
"Me and Matt have a bet," he said sheepishly.
"Well then I'm not letting you win it Marilyn," you laughed at his attempts but you were not drunk enough for his antics.
"You call me that in front of them and I'll never hear the end of it," he sighed but you couldn't help laughing.
"You're not helping yourself here..." before you could finish your sentence you heard the front door open and out of gut feeling you downed the entire bottle of whatever Kylo had brought you, placing it back down, it wasn't like you could just make a run for it in just a baggy t-shirt.
Kylo pulled you a little closer to him protectively and you gladly obliged wishing you'd been sane enough to check your phone for miscalls.
"Kylo!" you heard Matt shout kind of angrily, he was making his way to the living room and your heart was making its way up your oesophagus.
"Oh um ____ I didn't think you'd still be here. Your car wasn't out side," his voice was barely above a whisper and he'd instantly lost his courage to argue with Kylo, who squeezed you as if in thank you.
You slightly moved away just not to make Matt too suspicious of your actions that evening, "Where is he? Where's Be-" you couldn't finish the sentence before he was in the room.
"What is she doing here?" he said stopping in the door way.
You whole body tensed and you had an impulse to punch him, "Ben" Matt willed him to calm but you were past calm, you'd bottled it all up before now but seeing him stood there handsome as ever was bringing back some sickeningly good feelings.
"She came over to see me," Kylo and Matt said protectively in unison.
That was the epitome of the tension that night and you were glad for having downed that bottle before Matt had got into the room, "what!" again in unison.
You wished you'd just melt into the sofa, why were they all fighting over you?
You shared an awkward glance with Ben, tucking some hair behind your ear.
"Kylo what you said on the phone-" Matt started.
"Well if you had just picked up for her instead of being with him-" Kylo said
"Don't bring Dad into this. It's her whose making you fight-" Ben joined in.
"Fuck you Ben, I did nothing to deserve what you called me," their anger riling your own.
"What like fucking my brother?" he shouted now.
"That's not fair Ben! Me and Matt barely knew one another at the time," you stood up and all three brothers were staring. You remembered your distinct lack of clothes and that probably wasn't giving off the best vibes to Matt or Ben, but Kylo was loving your action to show off his somewhat possession over you.
You could tell their eyes were trying not to wander down past your waist, "seems like you're getting to know Kylo pretty well too now huh?" he said and then Kylo and Matt were interjecting.
"You piece of shit," you growled advancing on him, "least he was fucking here for me when I needed someone," Ben half expected to be punched in the face but you were too upset to deal with the three of them and a little too emotional from the drink.
You stormed past Ben through the corridor and out into the rain. It was less torrential now, but you still didn't fancy another shower, you pulled the door closed behind you and slunk down against the alcove wall, hugging your knees to your chest. It was cold but refreshing, the air taste like upturned mud, but the smell wasn't unpleasant. You knew for once you wouldn't let one of them find you crying, you'd half given up on the idea of someone coming to find you. You closed your eyes listening to the calming sound of the rain hitting the roof of the house above you, quickly learning the pavement under your bare legs was icy cold. You squeezed yourself tighter, wishing you'd drove to their house in order to find comfort drunk driving your car home.
The door squeaked open on its hinges and someone dropped to your level but you didn't dare open your eyes to see which brother it was. He enveloped his hands around yours his thumb instinctively stroking your skin.
You let your eyes open to find yourself staring into Kylo's, there was concern there and something else you couldn't quite judge, "I'm such a burden. I need to leave you all alone, I'm doing nothing but tearing you apart."
"We've always argued it's what brothers do," Kylo laughed helping you up.
You pulled your shirt down where it had rode over your hips and exposed your pants.
Clearing your throat so Kylo would stop staring, you crossed your arms over your chest not that your bra wasn't protecting you, "Does Matt hate me?" You questioned trying to avert your eyes from getting lost in his. You were fidgeting in his arms, not realising he still had your hands in his. His body language was sending mixed messages and you desperately wanted him just to answer if he'd have left you any longer your heart would be in your throat, or you lips would be on his. Half to end the silence, half because the alcohol had risen your lust levels into overdrive.
He licked his lips and you doubted he'd held the silence for a long as it felt, you were convinced you'd let time slow down in his presence. You bit the bullet too paranoid to let him stare at you as though you were his prey any longer, "Kylo..."
"No he doesn't hate you," he said his voice a husky whisper, as he pulled some of the now dry hair out of your eyes to tuck behind your ear, closing the small gap between you in the action.
You wanted to grab onto the eldest brother, nuzzle yourself into the crook of his neck to stop your body from taking advantage of the situation, still hurt by Matt's willingness to stay away.
"-but he's about to," Kylo said against your lips seeming impossibly closer than you'd last remembered.
He pressed his lips to yours and before he even had time to rethink his actions your hand was climbing up his chest to the back of his neck. He regarded your action not to immediately pull him off and took it as permission to advance.
Your lips had instinctively started to kiss his back, his approach was different to both his brothers, he'd let you take lead so far making your ego sky rocket. You'd pushed your hand further into his curls tugging at them which earned a moan from Kylo, he pulled his lips away but kept them close enough for you to want more.
Maybe he was having second thoughts.
His breath was heaving and you imagined yours sounded similar, but your brain was too intoxicated with the taste of him.
He tasted like alcohol: a generalisation, your brain too clouded to remember what kind, "don't stop" you heard but it hadn't come from him, your own mind forcing words from your throat without permission.
He smirked and pushed his lips against yours, this time he wasn't going to let you be in charge and his tongue pushed past your lips. You enjoyed the sensation, his moves forcing a seed of lust to be planted in the pit of your stomach. Your teeth clashed as he took everything he could from you finally submitting to just taking your lips between his teeth and sucking.
You moaned at the sensation as your leg was being hoisted around his hips to bring you closer to his attack. You pulled his hair again as if it would rebuke his actions but instead spurred them on as he bunched your shirt at your waist to stroke the skin at your hip.
You shuddered from the cold hitting it and hated him for his subtlety, despite knowing full well he couldn't fuck you on his brother's door steps.
You drew back panting and resting your forehead against his, Kylo forced himself from your grip clearly hearing something you hadn't and you made an executive decision to fix your make shift dress.
The door swung inwards and Matt appeared concern on his face, you looked up to Kylo who seemed to have calmed himself down a lot better than you had managed, he saw that you didn't calm down at all after a quick wink meant only for you.
Your crossed your legs and then remembered who was stood in the door frame, "Matt" you said bitterly hating the both of them staring now.
"I've made up the guest bed, I'm going to bed," he said through gritted teeth, had he known what you and Kylo had been doing?
You saw the opportunity to get back at Kylo for making you squirm, "thanks can you show me which room because I'm tired".
Matt was taken aback by your willingness to leave Kylo and something that might have resembled a smile crept onto his face, "of course."
You followed him into the house passing Kylo a seductive sideways glance, "thanks for coming to check on me Marilyn," you said back to him as Matt took the lead up the stairs.
"Anytime," he responded but his tone had made you realise you'd pay for that one later.
Matt had showed you where the bathroom was and then your room. It was welcoming and warm the whole room taking on a shiny white hue from the wall paper and bedding alike. You imagine the colour would be starker in daylight. You peaked to check the window, regarded the black out blinds, you'd be grateful of in the morning.
"If you need me I'm across the hall," Matt mumbled snapping you from your daze, he was rubbing his eyes his glasses pushed back into his gold curls.
"Night Matty," you said forcing a smile, still angry he'd abandoned you.
He stretched out a hand to pass you your phone before pushing his glasses back onto his face, "Night."
You took the device from his hands and shut the door, crawling into bed. You checked the time, it was nearly one o'clock. A mix of being tired and the comfort of your bed sent you spiralling into sleep before you'd even been ready.
A/N hope you're all still enjoying this - nice long one for you.
Please drop me a comment if you have any suggestions - I do love to hear from you all.
THANKS - Els x