I look at Linda as I spoke,
"No matter how I tell myself one thing. I keep having a feeling that deny what I'm telling myself."
"So you're basically saying that you like Ryan but your using the 'friend excuse' to cover up how you truly feel." Linda explain to me.
(Am I that readable?)
"But I don't want to have a relationship. I have other things to work on." I said.
"Okay like?"
"Am next in line for your possession, having a relationship will just slow me down." I said talking a slip.
Linda sigh.
"You're getting the wrong idea of things." She said.
"Eh?" I look up at her.
"Having a good relationship doesn't slow you down Niya. If the person is willing you'll realize that all your goal will come to reality and even achieve more." She said taking a slip out of her drink.
She then continue.
"If I haven't met your father. I wouldn't of made it this far —" there was a long pause as place he cup down. She then gently caress my cheeks.
"And I wouldn't of made a beautiful Niya like you." She said.
I then smile at her.
"Get rid of all the excuses that is blocking you and do what's your heart is really telling you to do." Linda said.
I slightly nod.
Getting up she then place the cup in the sink and turn towards me.
"Think about what I've said... Goodnight Niya." She wave goodbye then walk out the kitchen.
Leaving me by myself, I finish my drink and got tried. I place the cup in the sink then yawn.
I then made my way sheepishly to my room. Taking off the light I walked over to my bed, and fell on it lazily.
"Get rid of all the excuses that is blocking you and do what's your heart is really telling you to do." The words of my mother repeated in my mind.
(What she's telling me to do was impossible... I've put everything expect love in fount of me, and too suddenly change it.)
I close my eye.
I don't think I can do it......
💖💖