Another Sleepless Night
Blake's POV
It hadn't hit me until I was by my locker with Jackie and her friends. They were so annoying, but I dealt with them. I tended to tone them out. And this was no different. Until they started talking about what happened.
"I think she's going to have a black eye! How cool is it that your boyfriend did that?" Bonnie, one of Jackie's friend said.
"Right? He's just so adorable when he's mad. I mean, did you see her face? There is no way she'll be able to talk to him again. No problem anymore!" Jackie said with a laugh.
I narrowed my eyes and turned around. Never have I felt like hitting a girl, I still don't. It was a complete accident. Levi was provoking me, and I didn't know Skylar was just going to jump out of nowhere and get in front of him. There goes any chance. At all. I'm such an asshole.
"Jackie, stop. I didn't do it on purpose! She's my best friend." I said through clenched teeth. All I wanted to do now, was leave. I don't think I could handle another day at this school.
"Blakey, relax. There weren't a lot of people there. It won't spread. Promise." She said with a smile, then kissed my cheek. Trying my best not to cringe away from her touch, I closed my eyes. She took it as a term of endearment, while I took it as an escape.
I've told myself that I was going to get Skylar back, but all of the things that have happened have gone against us. I'm starting to think that I am not a plan in her future. It's probably a bad omen. It means that we will never have another chance. I might have just ruined the other chance of becoming her friend a again. I didn't deserve her, I deserve someone like Jackie, and I'm supposed to be an asshole. A prick. That's all I know how to be...and I guess I have to start acting like it. There is no good left in me, no matter how hard I try. I'm doomed.
I heard all the girls laugh but come up short. Then I heard a gasp.
"Blake, uh, you might want to run." Jackie said. I looked at her weirdly. "Why?"
"BLAKE MATTHEW LONGWOOD!" I stopped what I was doing and looked up. Down the hallway stood Landon. His arms were crossed over his chest and I could see that his face was red. Oh boy, was he angry. I'm dead.
But I did see May trying to talk to Landon, but it wasn't helping. He was making his way over to me. I heard Jackie tell her friends to stay and support me. I wasn't sure if that sealed my fate or not. We were about to find out.
"I cannot believe you!" Landon said, his green eyes taking on a yellowish tint so that they looked gold. His upper lip was pulled back over his teeth, like an angry dog. I cannot blame him for being mad. I did just hit his sister and walk away. But I was ready. If being a bad boy was what I was supposed to be, I better start off right.
"What? Can your sister not take a punch?" I said then laughed. Jackie and her friends started laughing too. Some of them even said "burn." But I was focused on their reaction. So when May and Landon's eyes went wide, I knew I had struck a chord. He took a step towards me, but I stood my ground.
"How dare you hit a girl. One that you love? That's just messed up. Where in God's name do you get off doing that, huh?" He said through his gritted teeth. "Landy, calm down, we'll make sure she's okay after school." May said as she stroked his arm. It was really her who started this whole thing. But she's not to blame right now. It's all on me. While I'm already going to die, why not get some laughs, no matter how much it hurt me.
"First of all, I didn't get off by doing that. I've never gotten off with, Sky. She just doesn't do it for me, Land. And I could care less what happens to her now." I turned to May now. "Maybe the bruise will make her eyes pop even more." I said with a laugh. I was doing just fine when Jackie came up and pushed May. "Get over it. Bitches get hit all the time, I'm glad someone else thought she was worthless like me."
Worthless. That struck a chord with me. Why did it sound like we'd already had this conversation? I thought really hard, and then I remembered. Landon had called her Worthless when talking about his mom leaving. And she was so heartbroken. She said something... and I can't remember what... It was something like, "‘tell a girl she’s beautiful, and she’ll believe it for a moment. Tell a girl she’s worthless, and she’ll believe it for the rest of her life."
I can just see her face as she said that. It made me watch what I said to people from that point on. I never wanted anyone to feel bad about themselves. But I was one of the people who would sit back and let other people rag on. I was just as bad. But not this time.
"Jackie stop it! She is not worthless!" I basically yelled at her. There was no way that I was going to let this go. She looked taken back. "What? Now you're defending that little slut?!" She basically screamed back at me.
I ground my teeth together. So many emotions were going through me. But I was glad that Landon had finally spoke up. "My sister is not a slut! She's just going through a tough time right now." He growled. "And never call her a slut again." I added.
"Blakey, how can you be on her side? I was there for you this morning while she was hanging on that other guy. Who, is pretty hot, so I have to give it to her, but still."
"Don't even, Jackie. She was trying to hold him back. I didn't stop in time... I- I should have tried to pull back when she jumped in front of him, but I couldn't. I've never felt this low." There. I had finally said it out loud. I feel like a complete jackass, but I still had feelings for her. But I know what I have to do. "Just leave, Jackie. I don't want to date you. Just stay away from me. Far far away." I said with a sigh.
She gasped and slapped me across the cheek. "I hate you so much! That's twice, and for the same girl. Get over it. You ruined it." She said and walked away with her friends.
I hand came on my shoulder. I turned around to face May. Her brown eyes were shinning, and people would think she was going to cry. Who knows, maybe she was going to. I was going to say something when she flung herself into my arms. It was a bone crunching hug and I shot a questioning look at Landon. He shrugged and concentrated on his phone. So i reluctantly hugged back.
"So, uh, why are you hugging me?" I asked.
"You're such a jerk but you still love her." She mumbled into my jacket.
"What?" I asked because I couldn't quite hear her.
"You still love Skylar." I looked down and pulled away. Of course I still loved her. It was her stupid idea that we try other people out, so she got what she wanted. Levi. And now I have to sit back and watch their 'love' blossom into a hot and heavy romance. But I swear, if that kid did anything to hurt her, I would hurt him. Maybe even kill him. I wasn't quite sure.
"Listen, just change your attitude. It's not you. And no matter how badly I want to kill you now, I know that the old Blake is somewhere in there. In the back hiding because he's scared. You have to let it go, you have to act stupid. Because if you can't act stupid, then you don't deserve to be in love." He paused and looked up at me. "And I know you hate Levi, but give him a chance. He's not as bad as you think. He means a lot to Skylar just as much as you mean to her."
I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that. I'm pretty sure that she hates me now. Nothing I can do will ever make up for today. I mean, I wouldn't even talk to me. And I don't blame her if she doesn't. This was all my fault, and I desperately wanted to fix it.
"Thanks Land, but I think what Skylar needs right now is a break away from me. Please, tell her that i'm really sorry. I never meant for her to get hurt." I said as I turned on my heel. There was no hope for me, and I didn't want to cause anyone anymore pain.
So that night, at home, I stayed in my room. When both Mia and Jake knocked, I didn't answer. They obviously didn't know what happened today, and I didn't want them to. I just wanted to wallow by myself.
The silence got to me and I picked up a magazine, but I couldn't concentrate on that either. So I sighed and reached for my phone. My fingers ran over the buttons so fast, I thought I might have misspelled a few words, but that wasn't a problem. I clicked send and put my phone down. My vision started to get blurry and I hope that long text would help.
Even I couldn't stop the inevitable as tears spilled over my eyes and down my cheeks. I'm sure I sounded pretty manly. Crying into his pillow. A real knight in shining armor. Even while I was crying I got my iPod and put on the most unlikely song on there. No doubt due to Skylar and her computer. Sleepless Nights by Faber Drive came on as I picked my phone back up to look at the text I sent.
To: Skylight
I am a complete ass and I know u'll nvr forgive me 4 today, but i wanted u to know that i still love you w/ everything in me. That's y i'm letting u go with Levi. As long as ur happy, im happy. Just know that i regret everything i ever did to u that made u cry. Every time u hurt, i died inside. love you, skylight. forever & always.
Then my eyes closed and I went into a dreamless sleep.
**********************************************
Another sleepless night
I'm still starin' at the ceiling
I can hear him fighting
With her for no good reason
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Love's not enough when you say it
Don't you know you've gotta mean it
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Another day goes by and nothing changed
He's still the same
I can hear her cryin
Thinking she's the one to blame
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?
If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Loves not enough when you say it
Don't you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Another sleepless night and nothing changed
He's still the same
Another stupid fight and someone's gotta say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Loves not enough when you say it
Don't you know you gotta mean it?
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go
Never let her go
No, no, no
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Take her and make sure she feels it
Let her know you'll never let her go