Chapter Twenty-Two: Badass
Skylar's POV
My cheeks were stained red and they were still moist, but that is not what I was concentrating on right now. The only thing I ever want to concentrate on was Blake's lips against mine. His arms around me, as if I was being welcomed home after a long vacation. It felt as if this past month never happened, and we never broke up. But even when I was experiencing this loving euphoria, I knew that it was wrong, and that I cannot let Blake in as fast. I don't want a repeat of what happened last time. I'm too vulnerable right now. I need to toughen up before I can take on Blake again. I don't want to be a defenseless girlfriend who always needs some guy to come to her rescue. And ironically, cutting myself helped me see that. It showed me I was strong. I snapped back to reality and pulled away from his lips, gasping for air.
"I've missed that." He said, but all I did was look down and nod. Things never seem to be easy for him, for me, for us.
His warm hand reached my cheeks as he lifted my face to look at him. His blue eyes were swirling with life, and I just knew that he still loved me. And that is why I had to come right out and tell him that I wanted to think about it, for at least another couple weeks. He owed it to me after what he did. I know we both still loved each other, but can I count on that love to last forever? I don't think so.
I sighed. "Blake, I missed it too, but I need more time. Just a couple of weeks to figure stuff out." I looked up at him and waited for him to get mad. Yet all he did was stroke his thumb across my cheeks and sigh.
"I understand, I was just hoping it wouldn't happen. I mean, everything is perfect again, right?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Everything isn't perfect, even though I wish it was. I think we need to see if there is someone else out there for both of us, besides each other. If we can last a couple of weeks like this, then we should be fine, right?" I said.
"I guess your right. But let's say I find someone else, but she doesn't effect me like you do. What if I like her, but there is a problem? What if it's because she's not you? Am I supposed to just sit around and watch you move on with someone else when we had this chance? I'm standing here right now, telling you that I still love you and you still need a couple of weeks? How logical does that sound, huh? Cause I don't like it at all."
"Listen --" I started.
"No, you listen! I'm not playing your stupid game anymore. I said I was sorry, isn't that enough?" He yelled.
I was caught off guard by his yelling and flinched just a little bit. Then I remember what I told myself. I'm tired of being weak and defenseless, so i'm winning this argument. I silently cleared my throat and narrowed my eyes at him. Let the arguing begin.
"Listen to me, Blake, I just need more time. I don't really give a shit what you do anymore. If you're going to act like a baby then by all means go off and have sex with as many girls as you want, I don't care. And because you have the audacity to yell at me, I will not tolerate any mistakes this time." I lowered my voice at this time to my normal talking voice.
"You get to choose what you want, and what you want to fight for. Whether that fight be for the last bag of m&m's or who saw the good looking slut first, you're going to have to fight, and hard. I've never been outgoing because I never really thought of myself as pretty, but like hell am I just gonna sit around and let you move on without trying. If you want me, you're going to have to fight for me and that's that." I said in a tone that said this conversation is over.
Obviously he wasn't done.
"What if I don't want to fight for you, huh?" He growled.
"Well then I suggest that you stay as far away from me as possible." I said while walking closer to him and poking his abs. "Cause I don't want you to get heartbroken at the sight of me with someone else."
I stepped away and folded my arms across my chest. This was one fight that I was going to win. My mind is telling me that this is stupid, that i'm being irrational, but then I realize that i'm not. I want to be respected by people, and a cowardly little girl will not do justice. So i'm doing what I think is best in this situation.
Finally, I looked at Blake's expression. All the color had drained from his face and his blue eyes have never looked so dull. He was trying to figure out if I was serious. If this boy didn't think I was serious he as another thing coming.
"You cannot do this to me, Sky! I just don't see why you need more time. I thought you loved me? I freaking said I was sorry." He said, his voice raising a little louder.
Sorry. That's all he is saying. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, it was all her. I'm sorry, but I cheated on you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
"Sorry doesn't mean shit anymore, Blake! Can't you see what you've done? I had faith and us, so much faith in us, and then you just threw it away. You cannot expect me to be so forgiving. I deserve someone who gives a shit about me!" I said as I blinked back tears. There is no way i'm crying anymore over this boy.
"Skylar, just shut up!" He yelled.
I was ready with a whole new argument when my door flew open and I saw a skinny lady with blonde hair standing in the doorway. She had long legs and looked to be about twenty-three, if that. She was in a robe and didn't look too please. I had no idea who this lady was, but she was interrupting our fight. I was definitely not amused.
"What do you want? And who are you?" I asked in a snotty tone.
"Do not speak like that to Meredith again young lady." My dad chastised me as he walked in my room and saw Blake standing in one corner and I in the other.
I only just realized that they were both wearing robes. Gross! I don't even want to think about that.
"Well then who the heck is she?" I asked, utterly annoyed.
"She's my girlfriend. I expect you to be nice."
If I had any liquid in my mouth at that point, it would have came right out.
"Girlfriend? Dad she's like, five years older than me!"
"You will shut your mouth right now. You disrupted our lovely evening with your yelling. I think you need to settle down or else I'll have to ask your friend here to leave." He said. Boy, my dad changed his vocabulary, but he was still very strict with his words.
"Whatever. And this is Blake, dad, don't you remember him?" I said.
He turned to look at Blake with judgmental eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat.
"And why is he in your room? Yelling is not a good sign, Skylar. I can have him removed if you'd like."
"No, we were just straightening things out. Talking about our new friendship. That's all."
Meredith decided she should put herself into the conversation, and, no offense to blondes out there, but she was not the smartest.
"But yelling isn't talking about new friendships, it's arguing. And Skylar Rose, your Dad told me that you and Blake have been friends for a long time."
Great. Go ahead and jog Dad's memory you stupid bimbo. Gosh, I don't know where my dad found her, but I want her sent back.
"Yeah, you two were, what happened?" My dad said.
I opened my mouth to speak but at this time, Blake decided he would put his crappy two pennies in.
"We dated, things were amazing, but they ended abruptly and on bad terms. We were just trying to come to a compromise on how things were going to get handled now." He said while taking a sideways glance at him. Time to earn myself my brownie points.
"By abruptly and bad terms he means he cheated on me with a slut and I ended it. Now he's trying to get me to trust him again." tisk tisk, don't mess with me.
My dad's eyes went wide and he whispered to Meredith. She nodded and left the room while closing the door behind her.
"Well she's a lovely maid, I like how she shut the door." I muttered under my breath.
I felt a jerk on my arm and looked up. My dad was holding my upper arm with inhuman strength as his eyes bore into mine. Ah, good old dad was bad and angry again. Joyful. So, being the amazingly awesome badass that I now claimed to be, I jerked my arm back to my side and took a couple steps back. I will not let anyone win.
"Don't you dare talk to Meredith like that again, Skylar. I will not have it in my house. I will send you off to live with my brother in Illinois. Don't tempt me." He said through gritted teeth.
Ohhh, like Illinois scared me. Hell, i'd just go there and befriend some cows. They have to be loyal. All they do is sit around, eat, poop, and get milk drawn from them. No big deal. Bring on the Land of Lincoln. Then I was aware of Blake still standing in my room watching us like something scary was going to pop out at any moment. I rolled my eyes.
"Blake, I think it's time that you go. I'm done talking, and I need to talk to my dad right now." I said, knowing that he hasn't changed, and that's why Meredith left the room. Oh boy was I in for it tonight.
He set his jaw and looked at me. Everything about his body language screamed confidence and defiance. Like he was going to walk out of here with his pride and go to school tomorrow like nothing happened. Like I had specifically told him to go sleep around. I mean, hey, he's a senior this year. He needs to do that. I'm just a stupid sophomore.
But when I looked in his eyes they shown with uncertainty and fear. Ah, he was afraid that something will happen to me tonight. Nothing I can't handle, I told my new self. Everything will be good in time. I just needed him to leave so that he wouldn't drag this out. I gave him the are you going to go look.
"I still have to talk with Skylar some more. We still haven't reached an agreement." He said, his eyes on me the whole time.
"Leave. Now." My dad growled. I reached out and grabbed Blake by the wrist and pulled him to my door. I opened it and yelled a 'Get Blake out of here' and pushed him into the hallway. I locked my door quickly and walked back over to my dad.
I stood in front of him waiting for him to hit me. I was ready, and I was going to handle this like I should have in the first place. I gave him a little advice.
"Do it where I can cover it up. Not the face, please." Then awaited for the blows to come.
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And boy oh boy did they ever come. I woke up that next morning with a pounding headache (because after my dad was done, I hit my head repeatedly on the wall.... I hear you burn 250 calories each time) and my legs felt like jello every time I stood up. But I made my way to my bathroom and took a shower. Today is the day that I move on with my life. Today is the day I make Blake regret telling me that he didn't want to fight for me.
I smirked as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had done a complete makeover of myself and I had to say. I looked hot. I had on tight leather skinny jeans and a red hot tank top. I had on high heels, but not too high of heels. My hair was long and wavy and it was very golden. My makeup took me a long time to do, and the finishing touch was made when I put on the red lipstick. Time to walk the halls of school.
"This better be worth it." I said as I walked towards the bus stop.