May 17th, 2009
“Why don’t you ever tell me anything?” I shrieked, feeling like pitching my brother right down the flight of stairs that was beside us. “You didn’t tell me that you were dating Emily, and then you failed to tell me that you’ve been dating Dawson for the past few months?”
My brother shrugged, looking like he wanted to slink into his room without having to speak to me. “I told you that Emily and I broke up.”
“But you failed to inform me that you broke up with her for Dawson Summers!” I nearly croaked. “Why do you keep dating people from my school? Stick to your own!”
Austin shrugged again, and I felt like dislocating his shoulder. My brother really told me nothing at all! He didn’t tell me that he had been dating Emily, and he didn’t tell me that he broke up with her so he could date Dawson, who I hadn’t even spoken to since badminton was over, which was over a year ago.
“I have to break up with her soon anyways,” Austin sighed, and I couldn’t tell if he was upset by it or not. “I’m going off to Europe in a few weeks to study abroad…”
I stared at my brother for a moment, and I felt like I was going to faint. “Wait… what did you just say?”
“Oh, yeah,” Austin chuckled nervously. “I’m… kind of studying abroad in Europe instead of going to Yale.”
“You never tell me anything!” I screeched, taking a step forward and bashing my brother in the shoulder. “What happened to the promise that we made when we were kids, huh? We said we were both going to go to Yale!”
Austin smiled at me nervously. “I was kind of hoping that you forgot about that…”
How could I have forgotten the one promise that had changed my life? He was the reason that I had worked so hard to get to Yale, so we could go to school together once I had graduated! But now he was just throwing it all away to go study abroad in Europe?
“I can’t believe you,” I snapped, turning away from my brother and heading down the stairs away from him. “I can’t believe you could just break a promise like that and not even tell me about it until the last minute! I can’t believe you never tell me anything until the last minute! You’re unbelievable! You’re supposed to be my brother, not a stranger!”
“I am your brother,” Austin tried, slipping down the banister and beating me down the stairs. “It’s just I knew that you were going to react this way. I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell you because I knew you’d be upset like you are now. But hey! At least I encouraged you to go to Yale! You’re going to have a bright future ahead of you.”
He had a point, but I wasn’t about to stop being mad at him. When I learned that he wanted to go to Yale when we were children, I made it my goal to become smarter so I could go beside him. We had promised each other that we’d go together. But now everything was changing, and my brother was leaving.
“You’re an idiot,” was all I said to him, turning away and toward the kitchen, where I knew our parents would be. Austin followed right after me into the kitchen, which made our parents ignore me and gush over the fact that Austin was finally graduating.
I scowled, turning away and making my way outside into the driveway. Instead of getting into the car like I was supposed to, I just stared down at my reflection in the car window. I had spent hours on my hair and makeup and making sure my dress looked nice for this occasion. Now all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out and eat ice cream.
Austin was getting older, and so was I. I was sixteen-years-old, by barely two weeks, and he was eighteen. We weren’t children anymore, which meant I shouldn’t have been hanging onto a promise that we had made when we were stupid kids. I shouldn’t have been mad at Austin for deciding to do something with his life. It was his life, not mine.
“Already ready to go, Jordan?” I heard my mother suddenly say, and I looked over to see my family was now getting into the car, my reflection now gone. “You must be really excited to see Austin graduate.”
The exact opposite, actually. But it wasn’t like I was actually going to say that.
“Don’t be surprised if you see Jesse there,” Austin informed me as I got into the backseat next to him, and when he winked, all I could do was stare at him in complete shock. “His sister is graduating this year, remember? Or did you forget?”
I forgot. I definitely did. If I knew that Jesse Jacobsen was going to be there, I would have feigned an illness so I could have stayed home. I just would have had my dad tape the graduation ceremony or something…
I didn’t even want to go in the first place. Graduations had never been my absolute favorite things. I had to go to Dallas’s graduation the year before, and it just made me feel worse about everything that had happened with him. I was just glad that I wasn’t depressed about that idiot any longer…
As the graduation ceremony started, I felt like going to sleep. Dallas’s graduation ceremony had been long, but this class was even bigger than his, which meant it was going to be even longer than the year before. I was just glad that I didn’t have to go to any kind of graduation the year after this, and then would be my own graduation ceremony…
The principal read off the list of names, kids coming up one by one to get their diplomas. Unlike the year before, they did it in alphabetical order and not backwards, which I was actually thankful for, since our last name was near the beginning…
“Hunter Dr--” before their principal could finish the name, my head fell back and I was asleep. I was only able to sleep for a few moments though, because my mother then smacked me in the shoulder, giving me a look of death.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, even though I really wasn’t.
“Austin Emery,” I now heard, and my family cheered loudly for him. I clapped, but didn’t cheer along with the rest of them. I was not in the mood to cheer with someone who didn’t share anything with me when I shared almost everything with him.
I didn’t know many other people in this class, so I found myself falling asleep once again. I was about to doze off until I heard the name, “Camilla Jacobsen.”
My head snapped up, and I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten that Jesse and his family were there, somewhere around. Jesse was somewhere around me, and I couldn’t see him. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t see me.
As if he knew I was thinking about him, a head turned toward me and I finally saw Jesse Jacobsen. The last time I had seen him, he had just gotten over strep throat. Just like I thought, he had gotten sick after he had kissed me while I had strep throat.
When we were finally allowed to get out of our seats once the ceremony was over, I jumped up and stretched out. It had been hours since I had last stood, and I never thought my back could hurt as much as it did.
I looked over at Jesse now, and I felt like I was going to fall over when our eyes locked almost immediately.
When I saw him come towards me, I instantly took off in the other direction. I knew he was going to come over and talk to me once he could. I was not about to deal with him in the mood that I was in. Austin had put me in a bad mood, but Jesse Jacobsen would have just made it ten times worse.
Before I could get very far away, I ended up smacking my face right into someone’s chest, stopping both of us from going wherever we were planning on. I quickly pushed myself away, knowing that who I had run into had been a guy as I rubbed at my nose, which was now throbbing.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, taking a step back and looking up at the person I had run into. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m really sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
The boy I had run into was wearing a gown, so I assumed that he was one of the graduates. He had one blue eye and one green eye, which were undeniably pretty, yet almost cold. He seemed familiar somehow, but I didn’t think much of it at that moment. I had bigger problems that I had to deal with.
I then remembered that I was running away from someone, so I quickly nodded at the boy I had run into before running off away from him, not about to let Jesse Jacobsen catch me.
I would run all the way home if I had to. It wasn’t impossible; I didn’t live that far away. I knew that Austin wasn’t going to leave anytime soon, since this was the last time he was ever going to be around his friends and classmates.
“Jordan!” a voice cried out before I could escape the crowd, and I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around for the source of the sound. When I couldn’t see the person calling for me, I turned and was about to run until I heard my name again. “Jordan!”
My eyes widened when I saw Jesse’s sister make her way toward me, graduation gown and all. I only stared at her, waiting for her to say something to me because I knew I wasn’t about to say anything to her.
“I was hoping that I’d see you here,” she giggled once she finally caught up to me. “I knew your brother was graduating, but I thought you might not show up since Jesse would be here, too.”
I had been close to ditching the ceremony, but I knew I couldn’t say that to her. At least she was being nice to me, unlike her brother…
“Well, this is a really big thing for my brother and all, and I knew it meant a lot to him for me to be here for him,” I excused, even though I knew for a fact that Austin wouldn’t have cared if I had been there or not. If he was in Europe, I didn’t think he would be there for my graduation ceremony…
Camilla nodded. “You and Austin must be really close to each other.”
I nodded, not about to tell her that we weren’t that close since Austin never told me anything at all. “We’re the closest. It’s like we’re the same person! Aha…”
I didn’t know why Camilla was talking to me, but I wasn’t about to be rude to her. She wasn’t her brother, and I just had to keep reminding myself that. They both had the same green eyes though…
“So it must be really upsetting to know that he’s going to be in Europe for a few years,” Camilla now continued, and I really didn’t want to be reminded of this. “Jesse and I are not close at all, but I know I would be upset if I had to be separated from him for years while we were both in two different countries… That’s why I’m going to school in town and staying home!”
How long had Austin been planning on going to Europe? Did everyone know? Everyone had to know, since he and Camilla weren’t good friends at all… How had I not known until that day that my brother was leaving the country? He really did never tell me anything!
“I hope you and Austin can spend a lot of time together before he leaves next week,” Camilla now told me, and she continued on with something, but I couldn’t hear him any longer.
He was leaving in only a week? I assumed that he was going to leave at the end of the summer, when I had to start school again. I didn’t think he was going to leave while I was still in school, since seniors got out of school earlier than underclassmen…
“Are you alright, Jordan?” Camilla suddenly asked as I staggered to the side a little bit. I only nodded, looking around for my brother. There were so many people around, and my brother was nowhere to be found. I just wanted to see Austin.
“I’m fine,” I gulped, even though I definitely was not. “I just… I need to find my parents.”
Camilla nodded. “Oh, alright. I guess I’ll see you later then!”
She turned off and toward her friends, leaving me all alone, just like I wanted. I only stood there, not believing that my brother was leaving my family and me in only a week. He didn’t even told me, but that wasn’t the part that shocked me so much.
“Let’s go now, Jordan,” my mother told me, suddenly showing up behind me as her hand clapped down on my shoulder. “Austin is going to go hang out with his friends for a while, so we should probably head home.”
I didn’t want to go home without Austin. I understood that he wanted to hang out with his friends, but… I wanted to hang out with him, too.
My brother was leaving me. I thought that it was hard with Dallas, but it was so much worse with him. He had been there for me my entire life, and he was suddenly going to just be gone. He couldn’t just be beside me all of a sudden when he was in Europe. He couldn’t pick me up from school late anymore when he was in Europe. Yale was far, but not as far as Europe…
Everything was happening so fast, and it was tearing me apart.
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I sat on the couch, the entire room dark around me except for the TV, which was turned down and barely audible because both of my parents were asleep.
When I heard the front door open, I perked up and nearly ran toward it like I was a dog. But I stayed seated, not wanting to make it look like I was desperate to see him, even though I totally was.
“You’re still awake?” Austin asked when he saw me, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked from the TV and then to me. “You have school tomorrow, Jordan. You already have a hard enough time getting up in the morning anyway. You should go to bed.”
I didn’t move; I didn’t do as he told me. I just sat there, staring at the TV as if he wasn’t even there.
Austin rolled his eyes. “Fine, suit yourself. Have fun waking up in the morning.”
He turned away from me then, and I felt the lump in my throat burst. The tears that were brimming my eyes fell, and I shakily uttered, “Why?”
Austin stopped, turning toward me with his eyebrows still furrowed. He said nothing as he made his way back over to the couch, sitting down beside me. His eyes went wide when he saw that I was crying.
“What are you talking about?” he questioned, and for some reason his confusion annoyed me.
I swallowed, not wanting to think of how things would be like without my brother always there. The room next to mine would be empty; there would be one less plate at the dinner table… We were growing up so fast and I didn’t even realize it. I just wasn’t ready.
“Why are you just leaving like this?” I asked now. “You’re just going off to Europe next week like it’s no big deal at all! You didn’t even tell me!”
“Shh,” he silenced, covering my mouth with his hands and looking up the stairs. “Do you want to wake Mom and Dad up? They both have to work early tomorrow morning. And you have school, too.”
“I don’t care,” I snapped after pushing his hand away from me. “All I care about right now is that you’re deciding on such big things without even consulting me or telling me. And I know it’s your future, and your life, and I’m just your nosey little sister, but I’ve always been there for you and you’ve always been there for me and now it’s all about to change and--”
“Shh, Jordan,” Austin silenced again, placing his hand on the back of my head and pushing my face into his shoulder. “Just stop crying, okay? You don’t need to cry. It’s not that big of a deal at all.”
“Yes it is,” I disagreed, my words muffled by his shirt. “It’s a huge deal! You’re leaving! You’re leaving the country! You’re leaving me!”
“Just for a couple of years,” Austin tried, but that didn’t make me feel any better. “I’ll call, and I’ll definitely visit. It’s not like I’m going to be stuck in Europe forever. The years will go by quicker than you think it will.”
It was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn’t. Even if he did call, or write, or visit, he still wasn’t going to be there. And that was all that I really wanted.
When I fell asleep, I was sure that Austin did, too. I knew I had school the next day, but I didn’t care. I was with my brother, and that was all that mattered at that moment.
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I really love Austin, so... I had to make this chapter pretty much all about him. This is the last chapter he'll be in, considering there's only eight chapters left. I love Austin so much. :(
I didn't want Hunter and Jordan to see each other before they officially met in Thin Line, but I was just missing interaction between them so much. I was like... craving for them to have some type of interaction with each other.
I've been listening to Disney songs (so it was a normal day...) and I heard Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's the perfect song for Hunter with the way he feels toward Jordan, even though Hunter really loves Jordan, too...
Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! :D