Toni sat in her fold out chair, fiddling with her hands. She wished meetings like this didn't help. It was the same recovery story over and over again, but for some reason, they were motivational.
They didn't seem to give enough motivation though. Unfortunately, Toni relapsed three days ago.
As she sits in her chair the guilt falls over her. All of the people here were trying so hard to stay clean, and yet she's sitting here pretending like she was trying as hard as them.
The clapping in the room interrupted Toni's thoughts. A man was walking up to the stand, holding a few papers.
He was cute. His brown suit matched his wild hair, and scruffy beard.
Toni sat up in her seat and watched him. He smiled slightly as the clapping died down.
"Hi," the man took a breath, "My name is John Frusciante, and uh, for many years I was a junkie."
Toni listened to what John had to say. Sometimes, she would get lost in his words. Something about a fourth dimension and spirits.
But when John said the words Toni needed to hear, he made eye contact through the crowd.
"And, it's okay to fail. It's okay to relapse, because at least you're here and you're alive. You get another chance to try again. To try to make yourself a better person."
With those closing words, John left the stage. The applause was a bit louder this time, and Toni joined in.
John took a seat to listen to the other presenters. He was a few seats down on Toni's row and she couldn't help, but to fix her eyes on him.
John obviously felt her stare and looked in Toni's direction. Toni snapped her eyes back toward the speaker. She was certain John caught her staring, but that wouldn't keep her from acting as if she wasn't.
Time ran along, and soon the meeting was over. It was set for the same time next week and everyone went their separate ways.
Toni had lost track of John in the crowd. It wasn't extremely large, not too many junkies like these kind of meetings, but he moved quickly. He was probably itching to get out of there as much as Toni was.
Toni stood in front of the building. Her hands were stuffed in her jacket pockets and her foot kicking around a small rock. She had called a cab five minutes before hand, but there was always that dreadful wait. With LA traffic, there's no telling how long it will actually be.
I could really use some dope. Toni thought, but a familiar scruffy voice took her away from her thoughts.
"Hey." It said.
Toni looked up and were met with the gorgeous of John Frusciante.
"Hey.." she replied breathlessly. Was this what's it like to have your breath taken away by someone?
"I uh, saw you in the building there." He motioned towards it.
"Yeah," Toni paused, "What can I say? I'm an ex junkie." She chuckled cynically to herself. If only he knew.
"H-how long have you been clean?" John was standing next to her know. He was staring at the same rock Toni was kicking around.
Toni didn't really know what to say. Should she lie to John? He doesn't deserve that, but what kind of person do her habits make her look like?
Toni wasn't a bad person, she knew that, but what would John think?
"You want the truth?" Toni said just so she didn't take too long to respond.
"Sure." John replied.
"I relapsed three days ago." And with those words the guilt came flowing through her.
Toni was so embarrassed to admit that she couldn't hold on and be strong like the rest of the people around her.
"Oh," John started off, "you know, th-there's no shame in the right? Everyone has their time of weakness. Everyone has a weak point in their life." John explained.
Toni took note of his stutter when trying to express his thoughts. He did it a lot during his speech, but not in a nervous way.
John was just a wise person, and sometimes it was hard to get that wisdom out.
Toni shook away her thoughts, "Yeah, but I just felt like a hypocrite in there today. Like I had the word 'Liar' written on my forehead and everyone was judging me."
"I can't speak for everyone, but I can say this," John took a breath, "I wasn't judging you."
Toni looked up at him as he continued to talk.
"I could feel your- your energy from across the room. It's like," John paused and made a circular motion around his head, "it's like the spirits in my head were saying 'You have to talk to her.' you know?"
Toni nodded. "I loved your speech. You said some words I needed to hear."
John chuckled a bit. "I'm glad I could help."
Then there was an awkward silence. Toni didn't know what to say.
John was handsome, his speech proved he wasn't some empty shell, and the fact that he's here proves he's got his life together.
Toni was used to dealing with assholes,or people who had nothing going for themselves, not people that are just amazing like John.
"How do you do it?" She asked simply. It wasn't a question Toni really wanted to ask, she didn't want to seem rude. It was just an effort to save their conversation.
"Do what? Stay clean?" John responded.
Toni nodded.
"One day at a time." John sighed, "I take it one day at a time and keep the energy around me pure."
Toni scoffed and went back to kicking around her rock. "Yeah the energy around me is the furthest thing from pure."
"I could help with that." John said quickly.
Toni looked up at him again. Her eyebrows were raised in amusement.
"Wait, I realize how that sounds." John corrects himself.
For the first time the two of the share a laugh.
"What I mean, is that we can meditate together. Maybe go on a hike?" John offers.
"That actually helps?" Toni questioned.
"Yeah." John beams, "A-and if you like tea, I have a new flavor I've been dying to share. I haven't gotten my friends to drink it yet."
Toni let John's words soak in for a while. As the offer dangled in the air, her cab pulled up.
This is it Toni, make a decision. Her mind told her.
"Sure," she quickly replied, "just name when and where."
"How about now? If you don't have any plans."
"Oh.. well I-I don't. If you don't mind have company at your place I'd like to go."
"You're absolutely welcome at my place."
With those words, and a smile on both of their faces, John and Toni piled themselves into the cab.
Toni was on her way to have tea, and meditate, with John Frusciante.
((Author's note))
Hey! Oh gosh Toni this was so fun to write! I hope you loved it because I ran with this plot. Your idea was so freaking good. Sorry if I made you seem really gloomy and like a Debby downer, I just really got into it.
Like I've said before, I love John and I completely respect anyone who has ever suffered with addiction. I mean no offense whatsoever to anyone that has, or knows someone that has dealt with addiction.
Next imagine is Andrea and John!
Word count: 1,160