واستقبلت قمر السماء بوجهها *** فأرتني القمرين في وقت معًا
She faced the moon with her face, Just then I saw two moons at once
Tormented by the conversation he had earlier with Fajr, his mind was a rattletrap, he couldn't sleep. He needed to clear his head, even though the hour was late, around eleven, he got up, changed his clothes, crept silently down the stairs, walked out the door and went for a stroll.
He placed his hands in his pockets and walked aimlessly throughout the road, his thoughts racing, his words replayed in his mind. He was upset, he was not the type of person who would force a girl to marry him despite of herself. It was not like him at all, then why on earth did he say that to her?!
He just wanted to tell her that he could help her to find a way out of this matter if she wanted, but instead he said the opposite. He couldn't understand the reason he became someone else in front of her. Deep inside it bothered him that she was trying her best not to let this marriage happen, but why was he bothered? It wasn't like this marriage was his idea in the first place.
After a half-hour walk under the dark sky and twinkling stars, he returned home heading to his room as calmly as he left. He was still restless and kept moving from bed to chair then to bed again. He made his mind, he would never bring this topic up again, nor would he do anything to get her to agree. If she didn't want, then it was her problem, he just tried to help. Besides, she once called him arrogant! Who was being arrogant now? He asked himself.
At last, he ended up staying in the veranda, his eyes glued up to the dark sky and the full moon. When he dropped his eyes down, something got his attention, Fajr showed up, she walked around the garden then sat on a chair, wrapped her hands around her body. She was alone, and seemed lost in her thoughts as well. It looked like she too had trouble falling asleep, perhaps she was reflecting on what he said to her. He took a step ahead, and gripped the veranda rail. Upon observing her there, a strange feeling of relaxation grew inside him.
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Although he promised himself not to open that topic again and decided to stay at his apartment in the coming days to avoid Fajr and thinking about her, but what happened the following night took him off guard when he received a call from Muhsen telling him that Fajr needed some time to think. He didn't believe his ears and kept wondering how come? In less than 24 hours she had changed her mind and was ready to think about it. What did Muhsen say to her? Was it possible that he told her about his disease?!
Actually what happened was that, at an early hour of that morning, Fajr was sleeping when her phone rang. She opened her eyes lazily as she didn't have enough sleep last night. She sat on the bed and picked up the call.
"Good morning, dad" she replied rubbing her eyes.
"Good morning honey, listen ...be ready at 5 o'clock I am coming to take you in the evening."
"Where?" she asked with a sleepy voice and yawning.
"you will know later. Take care"
Just like that he ended the call leaving her puzzled.
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At 5 o'clock, her father was waiting for her in a white cab. She told Huda and Fatima that she was going out with her dad then she left.
Muhsen was sitting in the passenger seat, so Fajr couldn't question him easily about their destination. All what her father told her was that; "just wait..."
As she got inside the cab, the driver pulled off into the main street. Her father didn't give the cabbie any directions and this meant the man already knew where they were going. After about half an hour, they arrived to the beach and the car stopped. They got out of the cab and Muhsen told the driver to wait for them as he held his daughter's hand and they walked along the sand. There was no one else at the beach, just the two of them. It was beautiful; the sand looked golden in the shinning rays of the sun, the sea swelling and glittering as far as the eye could see. The scene took her breath away, her father stood at his spot while she walked up the beach, her feet just missing the waves as they rushed up to catch her. She stood like that for a while, then her father came near her and they both took a seat on one of the stone benches built on the shore and started staring at the Red Sea waves. It seemed they both were enjoying the silence of the environment, only the sound of the waves was the background music of the silence until Muhsen disclosed; "I love this place... although its surroundings changed, but at least the view of sea is still the same."
After a silence of minute, he spoke again; "I still remember the day I brought your mother here for the first time, she was pregnant with you. We came to Jeddah after we performed Alhaj. At that time, I intended to introduce her to my mother despite of my father's disapproval and everything. I was taking a risk, but Hassan succeeded in bringing mother here secretly. Here, mother met your mom for the first and last time." Fajr kept looking at her father as he was speaking his feelings openly, he continued;
"They sat here, hugged each other, talked and laughed while I played the role of a translator..."
A sad smile appeared among the age ridges of his face and he added; "you remind me of your mother...you are as stubborn as her..."
She didn't figure out to what he was referring, but she didn't ask because she wanted him to continue his speech on his own pace.
And she didn't wait for too long as he explained; "when I proposed to your mother, she rejected me..."
He smiled, but the smile faded at the memory of his dead wife while Fajr's eyes widened in shock; "really?!"
He confirmed with a nod; "she wanted my family to accept her first...I was getting crazy...I tried every possible way to convince her but in vain."
This talk brought too many memories, Muhsen paused for a good minute, so Fajr spoke up; "then?"
He looked at her and sighed; "I fell ill for a week not being able to eat or do anything until one of my friends suggested that I should have spoken with the Imam in order to send his wife to negotiate the marriage proposal with your mom and grandmother. Then she requested time to think and consult. The Imam's wife asked her to perform Istikhara before deciding, that's how she accepted at last."
A smile broke across his face; "every time she complained about anything, I reminded her of the hard time she gave me before marriage... she would laugh out loud asking me "so is this my punishment?"
Fajr closed her eyes for a minute, to stop the tears she felt welling up in her eyes. She missed her mother, her smile and laugh. While Muhsen continued; "your mother was a great woman, she taught me how to live life. Before I met her, I was living meaninglessly... without a particular aim... just like all the people around me... I thought living life means to study, to work, to get married, to have children and that's it...But your mother made me realize a lot of things that I never thought about. She once told me, if you plan on leaving this earth without leaving an effect on it, you have to know that you are not living!"
"She was working hard in the Islamic center in London, I was impressed at how she could gain all that energy. Even when she was exhausted, she would still wear a smile whenever she looked at me. That's why I named you Fajr, because it's the Arabic word for Aurora, your mother's name. I was greedy that I wanted to have two Fajrs in my life."
The beach didn't flatten itself, waves carried off more sand and dropped it in.
"I owe her so much that I was ready to give her anything in turn. But all what concerned her, was you... only you! I promised her that I would secure your future... I'd make sure to make you live a happy life."
He turned to look at her and said, his voice tender; "therefore..."
Time ticked away the seconds, alarm welled up inside Fajr, she clasped her hands together until her knuckles turned white. She knew where this talk was heading.
Muhsen leaned forward, his forehead creasing as though in concentration. He put his hand on hers and asked in a soft tone; "do you trust your father?"
She shook her head saying yes. Muhsen bowed his head and squeezed her hand, then he slowly raised his head and looked into her eyes; "I am not going to force you into this, and this was never planned, Khalid proposed and expressed his will without any involvement of me and Hassan...I felt happy because he is a good man... I heartily want this marriage to take place because I love you and I want you to be happy."
After a long silence, Fajr said; "He is married to your niece..."
Muhsen thought this was the only reason holding her back, so he assured her; "He WAS married and I talked about this with Hassan. He told me that matter was over and for Khalid it reached a level that can't be fixed."
She was silent... there were too many things roaming in her head.
"I really wish and hope that you both get married soon. Because I want to see you secured and not alone..."
His pleading tone struck at her heart. She swallowed, trying to control her rising panic; "I am never alone when you are always with me."
He bit his lip and his voice slightly subdued; "but I can't be there always..."
Her heart sank a little at this; "why are you talking like this?"
"I am a father...and I have the right to be worried about my only daughter...what would happen to her if..."
She turned her whole figure to face him; "for Allah's sake, stop talking like this dad..."
Observing the tears moist in her father's eyes, she was taken aback; "dad! What happened? What made you so worried about me that you are crying? I can't be the reason for your tears, I can't bear it. Please don't shed tears. Forgive me please for my ignorance... I am ready to sacrifice my soul for your sake not just getting married. I'll do whatever makes you happy and I won't question it."
He choked back a sob; "I want you to accept it willingly, I don't want to feel that you are forced."
She nodded her head; "Ok let me think and pray then."
He pulled on her hands, "you have all the time."
She shook her head in confirmation, so he cupped her face in his hands, kissed her forehead and embraced her.
At that moment, she requested with a trembling voice; "I just have a request...let me stay with you in the hotel, please."
He gave her a smile; "Ok...I'll reserve a suite for both of us in the hotel."
She nodded thankfully.