The echoey voice of Rose Weasley came hurtling through the phone, "What are you doing, Al?"
"Leaving a note." I declared to my best friend and favourite cousin, who was so far down below me I couldn't see the look on her face.
That's what people did, right? Left notes, but I felt it was better to leave a note in person, with the person who I believed could take it the best.
Of course there was the matter of my family, all my cousins and my brother and sister, my parents would be devastated, but not in comparison to the level I had been when it had happened.
When he had died.
I think part of it was that it wasn't even his fault. He was being careless, just messing around, and then...it was an accident.
But seeing him die changed me.
It's been a year now, and I haven't got over it, the way he died just couldn't have been, shouldn't have been real. But he had died. I had attended the funeral.
For two months I had retreated into the muggle world, turned to drugs and alcohol, his face haunting me. It didn't work. Rose found me, my Mother dragged me back, my father attempted to get me working. My dream had been crushed. We were going to work together, so that was ruined through and through. He would marry Rose, I would marry Alice, my forever crush, and we would be the dream team. In a perfect world. This world was brutal, cruel, deciding how and when to destroy lives. Our last day at Hogwarts, and that happened.
His mother and father had passed away from grief. His mother was already weak, she went first, then his father followed. God I envy them so much.
If grief had gotten me, guilt or sorrow, then I wouldn't have to be standing here, up on the Astronomy tower at Hogwarts for one last time. That's what we were doing...going around the school as students for one last time. Mucking around, messing about, being teenagers. And then he was standing, standing on the ledge of the tower and he tripped, and he fell, fell, fell. I almost catapulted off the edge after him, refusing to believe that he was dead.
Refusing to believe that my best friend was dead.
And now I was on that same ledge as he had been exactly a year ago. I had called Rose here so that she could listen to me, see me in my last moments. Because I have to face the truth. I can't live without him. I can't live with the publicity, the fame of being Harry Potter's son, the best friend of 'that guy that fell of the tower at Hogwarts', the one who is depressed all his life while James becomes a star Quidditch player.
I can't live without him.
I have to face the truth that I am now one half of a whole, platonic soul mates ripped in half.
One half of the whole I once was.
I wobble on the edge of the tower ledge, focusing on the figure away from me.
"Leaving a note...Albus what are you talking about?"
"He's been gone for a year, Rosie. I can't live without him."
She began to shake her head profusely, denying it.
"Albus, please. Get off of the ledge." She whispers into my ear through the phone.
"He loved you, Rose. And me, too. We were the best friends you have ever known."
"Albus, god." She was sobbing now.
"Tell my Mum and Dad that I love them, that they couldn't have done anything and I don't blame them. Tell Lily that she was the best sister ever and to stay being herself. Tell James that he needs to get a bloody move on and propose to Lily Darling, and sorry that I won't be there for the wedding, to be the best man he wanted me to be." I chuckle
"Albus, please stop."
"And you. Rose, Rose, Rose. There's nothing you could have done, so don't feel guilty. This is my choice, and this was all my fault. All my fault. I shouldn't have suggested a One Last Time trip around the castle. I should have been more sensible, got him off the ledge. Caught him, looked after his parents, not drowned in drugs and strong alcohol. My fault. I love you, Rose. You were always my favourite cousin. Tell Alice that I wish I could have stuck around to kiss her, and that I love her, with all my heart. I love you, Rose, too."
"Albus, no!" She is full out weeping now, holding up a hand as if that shall stop me. The ground below is empty except me and my cousin, all the students and teachers at their graduation ceremony in the Great Hall. That was ours last year, and I was so happy then.
I drop the phone, swaying. I close my eyes, and lean forwards.
Falling, falling, falling.
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"Albus Potter was a great cousin. He was one of my best friends, and the Albus I grew up with would never have jumped. He was brave, kind, mature, and all of that was strengthened when he met his, as he put it, 'platonic soul mate'. And that's exactly right. They were joined at the hip. Hurt one of them, you hurt the other. There was a seam, exactly halfway between them, and when one fell, the other became broken. These speeches are meant to be about how wonderful Albus was. But I can't lie to you. After he died, I was too depressed to notice how Albus was. He disappeared for two months, and I found him surviving on muggle drugs. After the death of his best friend, Albus was a mess. The only person who knew Albus better than me is dead, and that is why I stand up here today. Albus Potter was a great man who turned into a broken shell. Let us remember only the good soul, but also don't completely forget what a person who is close to us' death can do to a person." I sit down next to Hugo and Aunt Ginny, grabbing her hand as she holds back her tears. Harry is next to her, James and Lily sitting obediently by his side, both holding back tears. I know my speech was morbid, and it was meant to inject some thought into people's heads. Funerals can be dull, and I know that Albus would have hated his funeral to be as dull as any he has been to. That's why he managed to get up and stand at...his funeral - to inject some life into the people.
They lived together, for each other.
And now they have been buried together.
Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy.
Rest in Peace.
A/N: I'm sorry. Sincerely sorry.