Giovanna’s POV
This is what I wanted right? I wanted to see me family. I wanted to be with Jesse. I wanted to get out of that house.
When Jesse showed up at the door I didn’t know how to react. Happy? Surprised? Shocked? Never did I expect angry. Never did I expect David to do what he did.
But it all comes down to what was inevitable. I wanted to leave, not just for the sake of not getting too close. Because we all know how that’s been doing. But my doubts, such as the ones from the other night, have been increasing. Quickly. I was only being used to break the curse. And besides, what if I didn’t break it? I would be a failure. The sad girl who was useless to the man she loves.
Loves?
No! It wasn’t love. I loved the attention he gave me. I’ve been living with him for months. I haven’t seen many other guys. I loved the idea that I could actually live in some kind of a fairytale. But I didn’t love him. I needed time away to just clear my head. That’s why I’ve been thinking about leaving. I could save myself the disappointment, all while getting the freedom I need to understand my real feelings. I just didn’t know how I was going to ask for that. And now the opportunity presented itself, I didn’t know how to react. I was at first, relieved. And then, pissed. He lied. He knew how I felt about Jesse. I was so foolish to tell him my thoughts. How could I’ve trusted my captor? I shouldn’t have listened to Josh and his ‘fate’ crap. I control my future. No one decided that this would happen except for me.
Parts of me fought over what seemed right and wrong. Was it right to feel like a piece of shit? Should I be happy?
I’m seeing my family, of course I should be happy!
My sure mind faltered when my hand brushed against the IPod and earbuds in my pocket. I felt my frown deepen with every step I took.
“Giovanna?” I hadn’t noticed that we were almost at the driveway of my house. Jesse had stopped and was now a couple of steps behind me. I plastered a smile on my face and spun around. “Yeah?”
“I’m guessing you weren’t listening?”
“Sorry.”
He walked closer and grabbed my hands.
“Listen, I get what just happened must be hard. I know you’ve been living there for a while now and it’s tough having a friend just lie to you like that. I just wish that I found you sooner. Maybe I could’ve saved you the pain. But I want you to know that I’m here now and I won’t be able to get rid of so easily. You got that?”
I was taken back by his sudden outpour that I could only nod. He gave me a small smile while he continued holding one hand and walked forward.
We stopped in front of my house. The yellow paint still looked faded. The porch still had baseballs and basketballs and whatever other balls you could find really. The garden was still small and half dead. It felt so unfamiliar compared to David’s house. His garden; big and full of lively flowers. But that wasn’t home. This was.
“Giovanna!” Matt came running out and jumped into my arms. Gina was one step behind him and followed his lead. I could feel their tears against my skin as it easily washed away my doubts at that moment. I was home. Any pang in my gut or heart was ignored and overpowered by the love I felt in that moment.
It wasn’t until Jesse pointed out the dark clouds did we finally go back inside. Once we took a seat in the living room, that’s when I noticed how unhappy Matt looked. I was about to ask him why, but then Gina began talking.
“How’d you escape? How did you find her? Oh my gosh I can’t believe you’re here. With us. Physically!”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across face as the realization of the fact that I was home really hit me.
“I didn’t really escape-”
“Does that mean you have to go back?!” Gina exclaimed.
“No. I’ve left for good.”
“Oh thank God!”
“Well when Jesse showed up, we were all shocked. Especially David.”
“What? Why?” Gina interrupted.
“Okay. So, apparently David saw Jesse in the woods looking for me. And Jesse asked where he could find where I was and David totally denied that he even knew me. Now you could imagine how pissed I was when I found out about this. So I told him that I couldn’t live with someone that I couldn’t trust and left with Jess.”
“That’s it?” Gina asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well he didn’t fight Jesse? Didn’t beast out or anything?”
“What do you mean by beast out?” Jesse asked. I internally cringed at the question. Jesse doesn’t know about David being a beast. And I don’t think that it was my place telling him.
I gave Gina a weary look when Matt came in, “David has awesome karate moves. He can also box too. Wouldn’t want to mess with him.”
“Well he didn’t do anything. Well, except for maybe beg.”
“I really doubt what he was doing was begging,” I said. I hoped was more like it.
“I saw him on his knees.” I lost by breath as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
“You what?”
“I thought you saw too.”
“No. I didn’t.”
There was a pause and all I could hear was my loud heartbeat. Did I do that? Cause him to beg just by leaving? What would happen if I went back?
“You’re not...thinking of going back, are you?”
I took a deep breath and shooed away my thoughts.
“Nah you’re stuck with me, kid.” I gave them all a convincing smile, but the person who I was really trying to convince most, was me.
~~~~~
Dinner time soon came around and we were all still sitting in the living room. I told them stories of David’s home, but I never spoke of our true conversations. It wasn’t my place to tell them all of what happened. So I spoke of all the nice things he did for me and everything we’ve been through. Every story brought a small, knowing smile across my face. But I wiped it off before anyone could see.
“Let’s continue this over dinner. Jess, you staying?” Gina asked
“Is Giovanna cooking?” he smirked over at me.
“God no, we’re ordering.”
“Hey! I’m not that bad a chef! I’ll have you know that David loved my cooking.”
That quieted their giggles down a bit. I didn’t mean for it to though.
“What are we ordering?” I broke in.
“Your choice,” Gina replied.
“Chinese!”
“Chinese it is.”
As Gina ordered the food, Jesse and Matt set up the table. I, on the other hand, went upstairs. I was still in my dirt covered jeans and sweater. It was still cold around here, but I wanted to test David’s garden and see if the flowers I planted grew. I guess I wouldn't find out.
When I opened the door to my room, it was an odd experience. My eye sight shifted, making my head spin a little. It felt small and cramped and...not me. I closed the door behind me as I observed my room. The walls were still a light shade of pink, the bedspread were purple zigzags with a stupid amount of throw pillows, the clothes in my closet felt unfamiliar along with the rug beneath my feet. The only thing that seemed to be the closest thing to who I am was my desk. It was the same white wood like my old room. Only it was less grand. I had post its stuck to practically every part of the desk. Just like the one from David’s house. I sat down on my bed and took off my shoes. Next were my pants and sweater. I threw them onto the bed and slipped on some sweatpants and a t-shirt and sat back down on my bed. My body fell foward on all the pillows as I spread my arms across the mattress. I took a big, relaxing breath and went to throw my clothes off the bed when I felt the IPod and earbuds.
The locket around my neck felt heavier against my chest. I felt like I was being sucked of clean air and instead being replaced with a sickly, familiar smell. My head was spinning as I gripped onto my covers.
“No. Please no. Not now. I’m supposed to be happy,” I pleaded as I dropped to the floor on my knees.
My head was now buried in the bed while I knelt on the floor. I felt the hot tears flow as my throat tightened. Only this time, it was different. Instead of feeling like there was something in my throat, I felt like I was being hung. I choked on my coughs as the invisible rope tightened tauntingly around my neck, knowing that I could not do anything about it. I knew it was fake. And that’s what I repeated. Over and over again.
It’s not real.
There’s no rope.
No rope.
Rope.
ROPE.
The mere thought threw my attempt of calm thoughts out the window.
“Giovanna?” I hardly heard my name being called as I continued to keep the sheets in a death grip. From the side of my eye, I saw Matt enter and close the door behind him. My teary, red eyes met with his worried ones. He immediately ran to my side and rubbed my back. Gina taught him months ago remedies of calming me down when I had an attack if only he was around. You could imagine how scared he was the first time Gina wasn’t around and this happened. But now, he seemed to take control and firmly rubbed my back.
“Do you want Gina?”
I nodded my head no.
“Are you better?”
Minutes had passed and Matt’s presence and actions had calmed me down. I was still shaky, but the thought of rope didn’t make me feel choked.
“Thank you,” I shakily said as I sat on the floor. I was truly grateful for his presence. He made me calm down before it could have ended up into a bigger attack. Matt joined me as he took my hand and squeezed it three times. I love you. I squeezed it four times back. I love you too.
“You weren’t his Belle?”
“He wasn’t my beast. He was never mine to begin with.”
“Do you love him?”
“...I don’t think so.”
“I think you do.”
“I think that I don’t need to be thinking about him.”
“Why?”
“Because...I’m home now and he’s the past. I should be looking toward the future.”
“What if he was your future?”
“Then things would have gone differently,” I strained out.
“But-”
“Matt, please. I’m really not in the mood for the third degree.”
“Sorry,” he took a deep breath. “Tell me another story about it.”
I looked at him sadly. I know he’s intrigued by David’s home, but just by thinking about the story I wanted to tell made me heart scream. I was torn between sharing the magical night and dealing with the sadness of looking back. But Matt’s face looked genuine and we both knew that I wouldn’t hold this story from him.
“Okay, this one sort of starts of as a fairytale. So once upon a time, the beast wanted to give the girl a night she would never forget. He sent a fairy god mother to get her a ball gown and prepared everything to the very last detail. But, the girl was uncertain of what to do. She thought of leaving early, but the beast had caught up with her before she could make the foolish mistake. He had found her red shoe along the way and placed it perfectly on her foot... After a long night of dancing and rain, the two had to say goodnight. Only, the girl didn’t want to. So after of what seemed like hours of tossing and turning, she gave up and went to the beast’s study. There, he lay, peacefully sleeping. This was odd for the beast to do so the girl did not want to interrupt him for her own petty reasons. So she joined him. And they slept happily for about five hours or so.”
“What happened after five hours?”
“Well the sun rose and she woke up.”
“Oh.”
Before any of use could say anything else, we heard Gina exclaim, “Dinner’s ready!”
Maybe if I were lucky, a fortune cookie would help me out.