Nas.
June 27th, 1993
7:37 A.M.
I was up early preparing myself for one of the hardest things I would ever have to do. I was going to take Omar to rehab today and leaving my brother is going to be tough.
I wish I can stay there to be with him and go through this hard time with him but I can't. It's killing me to see him this way and I just wanna be there for him.
I don't know how these people are going to treat him at this place or how he's going to react. The first thing I know I needed to do was get rid of all the drugs he had so when he comes back home he won't have any setbacks.
"Get up Omar." I spoke lowly while shaking him.
He sat up and placed his feet on the floor.
"Nas I don't know if I can do this." He said while leaning down, putting his face into the palm of his hands.
I sat next to him on the bed and turned to look at him.
"Omar, you have to do this. You have to do this for yourself. You can not continue to live this way. This stuff is slowly killing you, please do this for you. If you can't find a reason to do this for yourself, do it for me. Think about lil' Destiny."
"I don't know man.." He replied.
"Stop acting like a fucking coward man." I said getting pissed.
"Man fuck you! Fuck all this shit I don't have to do a damn thing!" He yelled getting in my face.
"Nigga fuck you! The fuck wrong with your crack head ass!" I yelled back.
He punched me in my face and before I could say anything I found myself in a full fledged fight. I took jabs to my head as I slammed him into the dresser causing items to fall off. I had the full advantage so I took it and stared punching him in the face, not stopping until Chauncey ran into the room.
"Yall chill the fuck out! Why the fuck y'all fighting early in the morning!" Chauncey screamed at the top of his lungs.
"This nigga fucking stupid!" I yelled causing Omar to attack me again.
I'll admit he was beating my ass this time. I kicked him off of me and was about hit him again but Chauncey started restraining me.
"Chill the fuck out!" He was now in the middle of us trying to stop this whole situation by his self.
I observed Omar and his mouth was bleeding. I felt something dripping down my nose and I wiped it. It was blood.
"Nigga you broke my fucking nose!" I yelled trying to jump on him again.
"Shut the fuck up ain't shit broke on your ugly ass." Omar spat.
"Bitch you ugly!" I replied.
Omar hopped back up and popped me in my mouth before backing up and putting his guard up preparing to fight again.
"Watch your fucking mouth, bitch!" He put emphasis on the 'bitch' part.
Chauncey, who was now out of breath separated us again to the best of his ability.
"So what's going on?" He sighed, almost yelling.
"We had a misunderstanding that's all." I told him.
I wasn't about to go spilling all of his business like that. After all he confided in me, I couldn't tell someone else about what we discussed.
"It's too early for this shit man. How the fuck y'all wake up fighting? Where are y'all getting this energy from?" Chauncey questioned.
Both Omar and I stayed silent.
"Man let's get cleaned up, I'll go." Omar broke the silence.
"Go where?" Chauncey asked looking between the both of us.
I looked over at Omar to see what he was going to say.
"I'm going away for awhile." Omar mumbled.
"Please don't sugarcoat shit with me, tell me what it is. I ain't no damn child." Chauncey said to him.
Omar stayed silent and started looking down.
"You going to jail?" Chauncey spoke again.
"No man, rehab." Omar looked ashamed.
Chauncey took a seat on the bed with a blank look on his face.
"Rehab? For what?"
"I'm a drug addict." Omar stated.
Chauncey looked confused at first and then he looked up at me.
"How come nobody told me?"
"No one knew Chaunce." I told him.
"Can I come with y'all to take him?" He said referring to Omar.
"Yeah man but don't tell nobody about this, not even Ezra." Omar told him.
"Why?"
"I don't need them worrying about me."
***
I pulled up in front of the rehab center and looked to the side of me to see Omar staring out the window.
"We're here." I announced looking back at Chauncey.
I had already talked to someone over the phone and told them about Omar's addiction. They had gotten everything set up and all we had to do was check him in. The only thing I'm worried about is if Omar is going to stay the whole 30 days or not. This is a very expensive program.
"You want us to walk you in there?" I asked Omar.
"Yes."
We all got out the car and walked into the building. I went to the front desk and told the lady I was checking my brother in.
I had to fill out some papers and return them and they were ready to take him.
"Well..I'll see y'all in thirty days I guess." Omar said.
"Wait, lets pray." Chauncey stated.
"Go ahead." I encouraged him.
"Heavenly father, we are coming to you today to ask you to cover my brother in your blood. Help him stay sane in this place and help him recover from his sickness. Lord I ask that you take all of his demons away and lead and guide him in every possible. In Jesus precious name we pray, Amen.'
"Amen." Omar and I said in unison.
I hugged Omar tightly, feeling tears come down my eyes.
"I'm sorry man." I mumbled lowly.
"It's okay, I'm sorry too." He said back to me.
We released from our hug and then him and Chauncey said their goodbyes.
This was really rough for all of us. I loved my brother with everything in me and I wanted him to get the help he needed. I really hope everything works out and he doesn't ever have to be in this predicament again.
"I love y'all man." Omar said to us before turning to walk away.
Both Chauncey and I watched him walk away with some lady.
I turned to look at Chauncey and saw him crying. I started crying too.
Where the hell did we go wrong? Why does bad shit always have to happen to us? I swear we done been through so much shit over the past years.
Omar.
July 1st, 1993
11:37 P.M.
I couldn't sleep at all. All I do is think about drugs and how bad I need them. I was scared as hell because I don't know what was going to come next. I feel like someone is after me.
I was afraid to go to sleep because I kept having the same horrible nightmare. In the nightmare Ezra got killed. His brains was everywhere and people was acting like they didn't see it. They would walk right over it! They didn't see my brother man! My fucking brother!
I started throwing up for the third time tonight. I can't keep anything down and I just feel so weak.
"I'm ready to end all of this." I said aloud contemplating my suicide.
Killing myself would solve everyone's problems. No one would have to worry about me bringing shame to their life. I wouldn't have to deal with this horrible feeling I have. The feeling of guilt. I feel so awful inside for doing this to everyone around me.
I heard the door opening, immediately my heart started racing.
"Yo, who the fuck is it?" I yelled.
"Omar please calm down. It's me, your nurse."
"Get the fuck away from me! I don't need your help!" I tried to get up out my bed and run but I was in so much pain.
My whole body ached.
"Omar calm down!"
I heard her call for backup and other people came into the room.
"Y'all trying to kill me! Get the fuck away from me!"
They tried to restrain me but I resisted. I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.
"You fucking stabbed me bitch!" I yelled trying to grab at her.
I was too weak to do so. I felt myself getting super drowsy and I tried to fight my sleepiness but I couldn't.
—
Back to back? Y'all ain't fucking with me😎. Anywaysss, how do y'all feel about this chapter? Excuse any errors and leave feedback!!! I love to hear you guys opinions and stuff. Please tell me how y'all feel about this chapter because I got really emotional writing this.