Chapter 13: Sort yourself out
Walking back and forth in the back lounge wasn't helping at all. We played our set an hour ago and everyone went their seperate ways. I headed straight to the back longue of our bus. My head is so messed up right now. I love both Cameron AND Matty but I don't know which one to choose.
You wouldn't have had to choose if you didn't fuck Matty
"Shut up brain"
Sort yourself out Macy, you're making me go insane up here
"SHUT UP!" I screamed grabbing my hair and pulling at it.
I can't deal with this. I can't cope. I should just move away from all boys. Maybe I should turn into a lesbian. I can't love TWO boys, it's selfish.
Then choose
But I can't, I love Cameron but I love Matty. I've always loved Matty I just didn't know it, but Cameron's different, he treats me differently. He treats me like I'm his whole world.
That's because you are
I know but I think I'm just a distraction to him. He's definately a distraction to me, have you seen him, he's beautiful. Handsome, I mean handsome. Cameron James Hurley is beautiful. HANDSOME!
I shouldn't have to choose I should just know, shouldn't I?
Yes
So why don't I?
Because you decided to fuck Matty, that's why
I can't do this. This is crazy, it's insane. I'm insane.
"Macy!" I heard Matty call.
"In here" I shouted. He opened the door and then closed it once he entered the room.
"You okay?"
"No"
"Why not?" he looked confused.
"Because I have a boyfriend and then I slept with you and I realised that I had feelings for you that I didn't know I had and now everything's fucked up because I don't know who to choose because one of you is going to get hurt, but knowing my luck I'll be the one getting hurt. Why does everything have to be so complicated?" I rambled but fell onto the sofa putting my head in my hands.
"I know it's hard and I should have stopped you last night but I couldn't because I wanted it. You love Cameron Macy and I'm not going to get in the way of that. I don't want to mess up what we have, the friendship we have. Remember we tried dating before and it didn't work out" Matty said and I just looked at him.
"Yeah I remember it didn't work out because it would ruin our friendship"
"Exactly and I'm not going to ruin your relationship"
"But it's eating me alive, me sleeping with you"
"Then tell him" I stared at Matty with wide eyes. Did I just hear right?
"W-what?" I stuttered still in shock.
"Tell him"
"Oh and how do I do that? Oh hi Cameron last night when me and Matty were staying in the hotel I kissed him and then we made love, yeah cause that will go down really well Matty" I scoffed. Suddenly the door opened and there stood Cameron.
Oh shit.
Cliffhanger! How do you think Cameron's gonna react?