(unedited)
I can't let myself regret,
Such selfishness.
My pain and all the trouble caused
No matter how long
I believe that there's hope,
Buried beneath it all
"Let the Flames Begin" -Paramore
Even though I had been expecting it, Ashton's response still surprised me.
I wasn't sure if it was because I had been waiting for him to deny it despite the obvious facts or if there was still a part of me that believe the Elite were above this.
I had had weeks to accept that someone in the group had unhealthy homicidal tendencies, but I still hadn't. I mean, yeah, the Elite were rich, and mysterious, and they kept way too many secrets for comfort, but they were still teenagers. And last time I checked, teenagers didn't spend their time trying to decide what they wanted to use to make the life bleed out of someone wasn't successful in seducing one of their friends.
Matchmaking was normal enough- murder wasn't.
"You shouldn't have told her," Ashton told Jacen. His disapproving tone pulled me from my thoughts.
"Me?" Jacen asked. "You nodded."
"You told her about Olivia," Ashton replied. He was talking like I wasn't even here!
They probably think I'm in shock.
"Stop, Ashton. He can tell me what he wants." I glanced at Jacen. "Even though I don't believe most of it," I added, effectively wiping the annoyingly smug smirk from his face.
"Hey," Jacen said. "It was true."
I raised an eyebrow. "This time."
He rolled his eyes. "We've been over this, Elena."
"I don't have to believe you," I replied. "But, stop distracting me." I resisted the urge to curse when I realized I hadn't asked more about the fact that I might die if I couldn't get Ashton to fall in love with me.
How the hell was I gonna manage that, anyway?
Might as well start planning your funeral, Lena.
"I'm not trying to," Jacen said. "You're doing it all by yourself."
I shook my head, not wanting to get distracted again and opened my mouth to ask about the game.
Except, I didn't get the chance to, because Nathan Sinclair had the worst timing ever.
"Hey. Vane- Is everything okay?" He cut himself off when he noticed our expressions.
Ashton glanced up. "Everything's fine."
"Mhmm," Nathan said, not convinced. "You look like you want to give him a black eye."
And that surprised Nathan? All Ashton and Jacen did when they were around each other was fight- at least, that was all I had seen them do.
"It shouldn't surprise you, Nate," Jacen told him. "You know Ashton's always been terribly jealous of me."
Ashton turned to look at him. "Why would I be jealous of you?"
Nathan let out something like a cross between a sigh of exasperation and a snort. "Come on, Elena. Vanessa wants to talk to you." I stood up and followed Nathan out of the cafeteria, leaving Ashton and Jacen behind to argue, though they caught up with us a moment later.
"Thanks for leaving me with him," Jacen grumbled. "He looked ready to kill me."
Ashton simply rolled his eyes.
I left Nathan alone with the two of them in the waiting room, and headed down the hall to see Vanessa. She was in one of the examination rooms, half lying, half sitting on one of those long chairs that could fold down into a bed. "How you feeling?" I asked, sitting at the edge.
She looked a little pale, and there was an even row of stitches from wrist to elbow on her right arm, but at least there wasn't any more blood.
"Dizzy. They're getting me a sling so I don't rip my stitches." She scrunched her nose as she glanced at her arm. "What happened?"
"You don't remember?" I asked. It was possible, I guess. I mean, she had fainted right after she cut herself, so it wasn't too weird.
She shook her head a little. "Blood. That's all I really remember."
"You cut yourself on your locker, or something in your locker," I told her, going with the story Ashton had fabricated so if anyone asked Vanessa what had happened, they wouldn't be different. "You fainted afterwards."
"Oh," she said, looking a little confused.
"Hey, Vanessa?"
She glanced at me.
"Who knows your locker combination?"
"Jacen. Nathan, maybe." She shrugged. "Why?"
I scrambled for a quick lie. "So we can check your locker without cutting the lock off." It wasn't horrible. It didn't make sense why I didn't just ask her, but it was the best I could come up with without having to explain everything.
"You could've just asked me for my combination, silly," she told me. "It's thirty-six, five, forty-two."
I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, the doctor returned, sling in hand. I waved goodbye to Vanessa, then headed back to the waiting room. So Jacen and Nathan knew her combination. Could they have told anyone about it? Could I ask without it seeming to suspicious? When I got back to the waiting room, only Nathan was there.
I sat down beside him. "Where'd Jacen and Ashton go?"
"Ash said he had to go. I don't know where Jace is," he replied.
Well, now's as good as it's gonna get.
"Hey, do you know Vanessa's locker combination?" I asked.
"I think so." He paused. "Thirty-six, five, forty-three, or something, I think." Not exactly right, but close enough that if he, or someone else had entered it, her lock would've opened.
Now, how do I ask if anyone else knows without giving everything away?
"Did you tell anyone else?" Screw subtlety.
He glanced at me. "Why?"
I bit my lip. What excuse was plausible? I wanted to know because I was doing a survey? Yeah, that wouldn't fly. Because I wanted to know if Vanessa had been targeted by one of your friends who had homicidal tendencies? I had a feeling Ashton would kill me if I used that one.
His eyes narrowed when I didn't respond. "You and Ash said part of her locker cut her."
"Or something," I added weakly.
"What's the something?" he asked.
I didn't reply.
"Elena?"
I sighed. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea, but it wasn't like I could back out of it now. "We might have found a razor blade in her locker."
"A razor blade?" he repeated.
I nodded.
"So it was intentional?"
I nodded again.
"Why'd you and Ashton lie?" he asked.
"Ashton said he didn't want to worry you," I lied. And the lies just keep building up.
He let out a short string of colourful words, cursing Ashton under his breath. "I'm the older one and he still thinks he needs to coddle me."
I shrugged.
"So what? You think one of us did it?"
Well, yeah, considering one of you guys have killed someone, it's not that unbelievable.
Of course, I didn't tell him that. Ashton would have my head and I liked it where it was.
"No," I assured him. "But if you told someone, and people overheard, or something like that... And decided to use it to hurt her."
"Wait," he said.
I looked at him.
"Skylar got pushed down the stairs a couple weeks ago. There was a note for you," he muttered, almost as if he was talking to himself. Oh god, please don't tell me he's figured some of it out. I didn't want to go through the painful process of explaining everything and I wasn't sure if Ashton had wanted his brother to know.
"Yeah, I know," I said, keeping my voice steady.
"Vanessa's your best friend, right?" he asked.
I bit my lip and shrugged. "I haven't known her that long."
"But out of the rest of us, you're closest to her, right?"
"Yeah, I guess." I paused. "Why?"
"I don't think it's us whoever did it is trying to hurt, Elena," Nathan said. "I think they're trying to threaten you."
♡ the trouble with love ♡
I hid out in the library the next day.
I skipped lunch to see if I could figure out anything else about the Elite. Technically, I wasn't supposed to be here since the librarian was on break, but I needed a place to think.
Alone.
A lot of things had happened, and even though I probably didn't even know half of it, I had figured out a fair amount as well. It was all just a jumbled mess in my head.
I didn't know any reasons as to why any of the Elite would play a game that ended in murder, but if I found out who could've done everything- try to drown me, push Skylar down the stairs, kill Olivia, frame Daniel- I would be one step closer. Hopefully.
I had my Functions notebook, where I had scribbled the various things I knew first period instead of listening to the review lecture. But before I could open it and start piecing things together, a shadow fell over the table.
"Hiding?" A familiar voice asked.
"No, I'm catching up on work," I lied without looking up.
He sat down across from me. "I find that hard to believe."
"Just because you guys don't care about school," I said, finally glancing at Jacen. "Doesn't mean I want to fail my senior year."
He rolled his eyes. Then his eyes slid down to my notebook and he raised an eyebrow. "Catching up, huh?" he asked. I followed his gaze and bit back a curse when I realized the corner of a piece of paper was peeking out. I had written mostly everything in a sort of code and initials instead of names, but since Jacen knew what was going on, it wasn't hard for him to guess.
"Among other things," I replied, keeping my voice steady.
"Still don't trust me?" he asked.
I met his challenging gaze with my own. "Not even the slightest."
"Ouch. That hurts." He rubbed a hand over the left side of his chest.
"You didn't really expect me to, did you?"
He shrugged.
"You know who's doing this." It wasn't a question. "You might even be helping."
"I never said that," he interrupted, narrowing his eyes.
"Are you denying it?" I asked.
He paused, then slowly shook his head.
"Exactly. And you're asking me why I won't trust you," I said. "How do I know you're not telling me bits of the truth so I'll suspect something when it's something else entirely?"
He grinned. "Smart and pretty. I pick well."
I rolled my eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Jacen."
"Oh really?" he asked, leaning closer.
I didn't back down. "Really."
"Shame," he said. He was close enough that I could count exactly how many eyelashes he had.
"Jacen!" A voice called, interrupting our stare down. I leaned back and looked up to see Ashton approaching, an annoyed expression on his face. Whether it was directed at me, or Jacen, or both of us, though, I couldn't tell. "I said the study rooms, not the back of the library."
I glanced between them. They hate each other. So why are they be meeting in the library?
"My bad," Jacen said, standing up. "See ya, Elena."
Ashton sent me a warning glance as they walked away. Telling me not to follow, I think, which I was seriously considering. It's horrible to eavesdrop, but I wanted to know why Ashton and Jacen were meeting up at the library for.
Just as I was about to stand up, I heard a door spam shut in the silent library, and a lock click into place. Damnit. They were in one of the study rooms. One of the soundproof study rooms.
Guess eavesdropping is out of the question, then.
I sighed and flipped open my Functions notebook, pulling out the pages I had written earlier.
The first thing that had happened was getting trapped in the bathroom. I wasn't sure if it was related, or just a joke, though. It seemed pretty small compared to everything else. Anyone could've done that. Vanessa and Jacen had been last to leave the room, and Ashton had been the one to find me.
Then there was Skylar. Another thing that any of the Elite, except her, of course, could've done. I didn't know when it had happened; I didn't have any classes with the Elite in the morning. Nathan had found her, possibly while he was with Keira, but I couldn't really remember.
After that, someone had tried to drown me. It had been a guy, I knew that from the body, but that was all I knew. I had no idea where Jacen had been at the time, Nathan had probably been with Keira, and I had crashed into Ashton when I was getting out.
Then it was back to Skylar. Someone had tried to kill her. I had been with Ashton at the time, so I didn't know where the rest of the Elite had been. Nathan had been the one to tell Ashton, but I didn't know how he had found out.
Someone had killed Olivia after that. I knew next to nothing about that, since I had been out of town.
Thanks, Kaden.
Someone had framed Daniel for the murder, put Methanonel in his bag. Jacen had been at the hospital for sure, I knew that since he had Olivia's medical file. It couldn't have been Vanessa or Ashton, since I had seen them in the morning. The rest of the Elite were still unknown.
Lastly, someone had put a razor blade in Vanessa's locker. That could've been anyone, though Nathan and Jacen were the only ones who knew her combination for sure.
And that was only the stuff that had actually happened. There wasn't any obvious hint in any of it since almost all of the Elite had been able to do all of what had happened.
The most twisted thing was the game. Ask someone to make someone -Ashton- to fall in love with them in three months or kill them. It was its own little mystery. Why Ashton? Nathan was dating Keira, so that was understandable, but why not play it with Jacen or something? Another thing was, why me and Olivia? Why had we been chosen to take part in it? I had never spoken to the Elite in my entire life.
But the biggest question was why did they play it?
They weren't horrible people, or at least, they didn't seem like it. Nathan was pretty nice, Skylar wouldn't sink to murder, Vanessa wasn't the type to either and while Ashton, Jacen and Keira were all pretty suspicious, murder was huge. Why wasn't it just something smaller, like a ruined reputation? Why something they could actually go to jail for?
The whole group couldn't be going along with it, right? At least not knowingly or willingly.
Maybe Nathan, and Skylar, and Vanessa didn't know Olivia's death was directly related to her losing. Maybe Keira didn't either, though I couldn't see her being clueless, especially when her brother was in so deep. Ashton and Jacen definitely knew, though.
Olivia had lost. She had slept with Ashton three times and he hasn't fallen in love with her. Had Ashton known about the consequence of her losing then? Or had he only found out when she had disappeared? I wanted to hope that it was the latter. If he had known, and slept with her, knowing it would kill her... That was a whole other level or awful. Nathan had said he had started liking her when she disappeared, but Ashton had said he hadn't loved her.
Then there was Ashton and Kaden's case. If they were looking for evidence, then they obviously had an idea who did it. But they wouldn't tell me and for some reason, they seemed to be holding it off. Almost like they were waiting for something.
And the note.
The one for me after Skylar had been pushed down the stairs. A warning.
Elena, the less secrets you keep,
the more punished you'll be.
If Nathan was right, and Vanessa had gotten hurt because of me, was that the punishment? What secret hadn't I kept?
Hands slammed down on the table, yanking me from my thoughts. "You told Nate," Ashton said. "Why?"
I glanced at him. "Because he deserved to know."
"I don't want him involved, Elena," he ground out, taking a seat across from me.
"I'd say he's already pretty involved considering razor blades are being shoved in his friend's lockers." I glanced around. "Where's Jacen?"
"He left," Ashton replied. "Stop trying to change the subject."
"I'm not. It's just a question," I said, staring at him. He seemed strangely irritable today.
He glared at me. "You shouldn't have told him."
"You can't just keep people in the dark," I told him. "How do you know he won't end up with a knife through the heart?"
"He won't."
I raised an eyebrow. "You sound sure of that."
"Almost certain."
"How?"
"I can't tell you that."
I scoffed. "Of course you can't."
"Kaden doesn't want you involved, Elena," he said.
"I think I'm already on pretty deep," I pointed out.
He shook his head, a bitter smile on his face. "You've barely scratched the surface."
That was probably true.
But I'm not telling him that.
"How much does Nathan know?" I asked, going back to the previous subject.
Ashton seemed determined to keep his twin in the dark, which made me wonder if Nathan even knew the consequences of the game. It would make sense, if he didn't, since he didn't seem like the kind of person who would approve of it.
"Not a lot."
"Does he know Olivia was killed because she lost?"
His jaw clenched. "No."
So Nathan doesn't know. Who else doesn't? Skylar and Vanessa probably hadn't been enlightened either, but I couldn't be sure of that. I had a feeling Keira knew, from her thinly-veiled threats.
"Planning on telling him any time soon?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Keeping people in the dark keep them safe." He shot me a meaningful look. I chose to ignore it, though it made me wonder if that was really the reason, or if he was just saying that to try and drill it into my head.
"I'll figure it out," I told him, with a lot more confidence then I felt.
He glanced at the scattered pages around me. "Because it looks like that's going very well."
"Hey," I said. "I'm not completely clueless."
"Okay, tell me what you've found out, Nancy Drew," he replied. There was a mocking note in his tone, but he also sounded genuinely curious.
"Why should I?" I shot back. "It's not like you'll confirm any of it."
He hesitated. "I'll answer a question if I think you've got enough things right," he said finally.
I paused, considering his offer. It wasn't like this was stuff he didn't already know, and I needed whatever answers I could get. "Fine. One for one."
He nodded, and gestured to the papers, waiting.
Now, I have to decide what to tell him.
"I think it would be easy to control you guys," I started off slowly.
He raised an eyebrow.
I glanced down at the sheets in front of me.
"You're all... Connected, almost. Keira probably wants to keep Jacen safe. Nathan too. Jacen's close to his sister, and Vanessa. You're best friends with Skylar and Nathan's your brother. I think Nathan would do anything for Keira, and you." I paused. "Or anyone, he's friends with, really."
"What are you trying to say?" he asked.
I looked up, and met his eyes. "That if someone wanted to do something... bad. It wouldn't be so hard to rope some other people in for help."
He was quiet for a long moment.
Maybe you should've told him a more developed theory and not something so obvious and on the spot.
"Good enough for you?" I asked anyway.
"I didn't think you would notice," he admitted. "We were brought up not to show weaknesses and that sounds like one."
"You're not heartless, horrible people-" I said.
He raised an eyebrow. "We're not?"
I pressed my lips together, noting the slight tinge of bitterness in his tone. "Don't try and play that bad guy, Ashton, it doesn't fit you."
"How do you know you can trust me?" he asked.
I stared at him. "If you're trying to discourage me from finding things out, it's not going to work," I told him. "Why do you guys play the game? How'd it start?"
He looked away, and for a moment, I thought he wouldn't respond. Then he looked back, but didn't meet my eyes.
"It started," he said softly. "Because of me."
-- ♡ --
Teaser: "I regret letting you come already," Devon grumbled as he parked the car. "You didn't even know Olivia."
QotC: What are you guys' theories?