Saying I'm nervous is an understatement.
Saying I feel sick is an understatement.
"A tree branch is going to fall on my head and I'm going hit the ground so hard, my skull will crack open and I'll die.
I'm going to fall down the stairs and knock myself out then suffocate.
I'm going to die, this is it. My last day. I just want you guys to know I love you and thank you for everything you've done for m-"
"Mark, if you don't shut up about this 'I'm going to die' shi-"
"Language!"
"-then I'm actually going to hit you." Yoongi complained, spread out on my bed whilst Jin was rummaging through my closet, looking for something for me to wear.
"Look, Yoongi, if you want to fight me I will gladly-"
"Both of you, shut your mouth." Namjoon commanded, sitting on the floor by my bed. I was sprawled out on the floor, my face to the roof as I contemplated my life choices.
"Yeah, I'm starting to get annoyed with your voice, Mark."
"Jimin, you're like 100 times more annoying than Mark." Jungkook teased.
"Be quiet you coconu-"
"Everyone shut up! I found the perfect outfit!" Jin screamed, jumping for joy.
"I don't want to go anymore." I grumbled, sitting up from the floor.
"Don't even joke about it." Jin stated, passing me the bundle of clothes he had picked.
"I'm serious. I can't face him. I think it's just best if-"
"If you do this, Mark. You're going to be letting him down again. Do you really think you can afford to do that? This is the first time Hobi has willingly gone out anywhere in ages." Jin sighed, his voice has softened and his eyes searched mine.
He's right.
"Okay. Fine, okay. How long?"
"An hour until it starts. You should leave in 30 minutes so you can get there on time." Jimin spoke, jumping onto the bed and landing next to Yoongi.
"I'm so nervous!" I cried, into the shirt Jin picked for me.
"Mark, if you really want to make this whole act work, you need to start getting ready." Namjoon suggested, and I heard a chorus of 'yeah's'.
"Right. Yep. I'll be back." I nodded, picking myself up and stumbling into the bathroom.
I really hope this works.
------------•
"Mark, don't be nervous. It'll be fine." Hoseok reassured, giving my back a gentle pat.
We were in the back of Namjoon's car, Seokjin was in the front, Namjoon was driving which left Hobi and I in the back seat.
Taehyung gave me a full five minute pep talk before we left, and it didn't help at all.
It made me more nervous.
"I know. I just can't believe how everything turned out." I sighed, wiping the sweat from my forehead.
"It's crazy." Seokjin commented while texting one of his classmates about the homework he had, obviously, completed.
"I just, I want to go home." I confessed.
"We're already out-" Jin fought, but I interrupted.
"I mean America. I want to go back. Spend some time with mum, finish school there. Try and mend things with my friends."
"Why don't you?" Namjoon asked, pulling up to the stadium.
"We don't have the money."
"Oh." Namjoon nodded, giving his boyfriend a glance.
"Anyway, we're here. So let's go." I chuckled nervously, rushing out of the car.
We were 10 minutes early.
And it was already packed.
People rushed to the entrance, giggling, shouting awful remarks at the opposing schools and yelling words of encouragement for their own.
Seokjin and Namjoon walked in front of Hoseok and I, they guided us inside and sat us down on a seat on the far right of the court, near the front.
"This isn't the best seat but it's better than others." Namjoon confirmed, sitting on the side closest to the wall, whilst Seokjin sat next to him, followed by Hoseok then myself. There was room for another 2 people on the steel seats we sat on, and I prayed no one would sit next to me.
But I was wrong.
Luhan, the sports crazy man and his boyfriend Sehun decided to sit next to me. Which was fine, I didn't hate either of them. I just hadn't talked to Luhan in years.
"I hope Jackson plays a good game tonight." Sehun smiled at his boyfriend.
"Yeah, I hope he does too. If he doesn't do well tonight he could be kicked off the team."
"What? Why?" Sehun asked.
"Apparently he's been missing a lot of hoops lately. Hasn't been himself. Coach says if he doesn't get his stuff together he gets the boot."
"Of course you would know, you're part of the team."
"I know, and I would have played today except someone decided to give coach a lecture about my health."
"You know you shoul-"
"Hey Mark, what's up?" Luhan asked, interrupting his boyfriend and desperately trying to get out of the conversation.
"I'm doing well. How are you, Lu?"
"I'm alright. I heard what happened with you and Jackson. Sorry about that man, but you could do much better."
"I know." I laughed, and he gave me a friendly grin.
"Jackson's such a troubled child."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, his parents are never home, so he's alone all the time. He's never really had anyone. Then he got in with the wrong crowd. Typical teenager. Never known a real relationship... actually... I don't think he's ever been this depressed over a break up. I think you were the one." Luhan laughed, and I had to laugh too.
But inside I was screaming.
"It's too bad he ruined it."
"Would you ever go back? I mean, you broke up with him so obviously you don't love him. But if he loved you, like really loved you, would you?"
"I don't know."
"I wouldn't blame you. If I were you I would never be able to decide. Especially if I loved him."
"Wait, who do you love?!" Sehun interrupted, but we both ignored him.
"Yeah-"
"Ayo! Ladies and gentlemen... are you ready for the biggest game of the century?!" A deep voice over the loud speaker interrupted our conversation, I gave him a smile and turned to face the court, a signal to 'watch the game'.
Everyone in the crowd screamed 'yeah'. Except for me.
I was shaking.
"Let's introduce the teams!" Coach Smith yelled from the court, and in a matter of seconds Eastwood high's basketball team was running out onto the court.
My eyes scanned the faces.
Jinyoung came out first, followed by Eli, Kevin, Jun, Yoon, Soohyun, Kiseop.
Jackson.
I couldn't tell, but my hands were gripping the steel bench like my life depended on it, and my legs were trembling.
He looks tired.
A sudden hand touched mine and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Relax, Mark. Remember what we're here for." Hoseok whispered in my ear.
Right.
I gave him a stern nod as he placed his hand in mine and leaned his head onto my shoulder.
I wish he felt something.
"Thanks for being here, Hobi."
"Be quiet and watch the game."
It's okay though...
"Sorry."
I didn't feel anything either.
Coach said something about the other team that I didn't quite catch, and out came a bunch of boys by the name of 'Block B'.
Weird name.
And just like that, the game had started.
Both of them.
--------------•
The first half of the game was a blur. Jackson didn't glance at me, not even once. Hoseok had removed his hand from mine, and we continued to sit awkwardly, until a minute before half time, when Hoseok slipped his hand in mine again and whispered, 'Jackson might look over soon, we better start pretending'.
So we did.
I flashed him a smile, squeezed his hand, and scanned the room for Jackson.
I hope this works.
"Eastwood High is currently in the lead! 15:10 to Westbark State!" Mr Smith screamed, patting our team members on the back as they walked off the court.
Where's Jackson?
I watched as Jinyoung sat on the sports teams bench, and then everyone else sat down.
Except for Jackson.
"He's looking." Hoseok whispered in my ear, but from Jackson's perspective, it would have looked like a lot more than a whisper.
"Where is he? I can't find him." I mumbled under my breath, knowing only Hoseok would hear me.
"On the other side of the court, where the other team is sitting." He whispered, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around me.
I teared my eyes from Jinyoung and frantically searched he other side of the court.
There he is.
He was sitting next to, who I thought was the team captain, of the other team... and he wasn't happy.
Not at all.
He had the look. His eyes had turned to that dark colour, the colour his eyes would turn whenever he was angry at me.
Or jealous.
"Do you think it's working?" I asked Hoseok, breaking eye contact with Jackson and facing Hoseok.
"Only one way to find out."
"What do you mea-?"
"Kiss me." Hoseok mumbled.
"Wha-?!"
"While he's watching."
"Are you sure?"
"If it gives you closure, I'll do it."
"Okay." I smiled, trying to hide the fact I could feel Jackson watching my every move.
"Ready?"
"Ready than I'll ever be." I confirmed, trying to control my shaking hands.
Now or never.
In seconds, Hoseok had his hand at the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine.
I thought it was going to be a small, light peck.
But it was much more than that.
If we weren't in front of a crowd, there would have been no holding back.
I wish I could love him.
One of the most passionate kisses I've ever experienced.
But I can't love Hoseok.
And in a matter of seconds, it was over.
He can't love me, either.
He removed his hand, chuckled, and ruffled my hair.
"How was that?" He joked, "I think it worked."
"How do you know?"
"Look." Hoseok nudged, pointing towards the gym door.
The door Jackson was walking towards.
No, not walking.
Running.
"Is he-? No way."
"I think we made him jealous." Hoseok giggled, fixing up his hair.
"I think we did too." I breathed, my heart racing.
I made him jealous.
-------------•
"5 minutes until full time! 15:15, the next hoop determines the winner of the season final! This is the moment you've all been waiting for!" Coach Smith yelled, you could tell he was getting nervous.
Looks like I'm not the only nervous one here.
"This is so tense!" Seokjin squeaked, squeezing his boyfriend until he couldn't breathe anymore.
"Jackson better not screw up now." Namjoon commented, his eyes glued to the game.
"I hope he's okay. He looks a bit pale."
"I know, it's strange. The famous Jackson Wang is sick... maybe he's love sick."
"Shut up Namjoon." I complained, giving him a death stare.
"Sorry Mark." Namjoon said monotonously, sipping his drink.
Our conversation was interrupted by the crowds screaming.
Eastwood was at their goal side of the court, Eli had managed to pass the ball to Kiseop, who was making his way up to Jackson.
This is it.
Hoseok was shaking with excitement, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me in anticipation, despite the tense moment, I laughed at his actions.
Kiseop threw the ball to Jackson, who caught it with ease. He dodged two members on the opposing team, easily sliding past them. He was at the hoop, ready to take the shot, smiling brightly at the sound of the crowd.
That's when it happened.
He glanced at Hoseok and I, and the smile was instantly wiped off his face. His arms dropped to his sides and the ball was forced out of his hands, the force knocking him to the ground.
He saw Hoseok, wrapped around me.
And he froze.
There was a loud gasp, everyone was on the edge of their seats.
Jackson quickly got up, holding his elbow and wincing at the pain. But the time he got up, Zico was on the other side of the court now, taking the shot.
The ball flew through the air, and everyone in the stadium was silent.
No, not today. Please, not today.
The ball was just about to go through the hoop, when it bounced off the back wall, Hoon caught it and flung it across the court to Jinyoung. Jinyoung caught it, raced to the hoop, and went for the shot.
Come on, Jinyoung.
It was as if it was slow motion, the ball flew, bounced on the hoop, then the ball miraculously fell through the hoop, the crowd screamed, Coach cried and the Eastwood team gathered together, a triumphant smile on each face.
Except for Jackson.
Jackson was already halfway out the stadium door.
"I'll be back." I told Hoseok, rushing out of the seat, shuffling past Luhan and Sehun, and racing down the steps. I weaved my way through the crowd, pushing past anyone who got in my way, desperately trying to reach the stadium door.
It took me a good five minutes, but I finally reached it, pushing the door open and entering the school halls.
That's when I heard it.
Sobbing. A crash. More sobbing. Yelling. Sobbing.
It sounds horrible.
So I followed it, it didn't take me long though, because it was just around the corner.
This was the most isolated part of the school, and abandoned. No one came here anymore.
Except one.
A boy, sitting against a locker, violently throwing his head against them and sobbing until his cries were inaudible.
"Jackson?"
--------A/N-------/////\\\
ot edit
Considering this book is nearly finished (nOOO)
What would you guys like to read next? Angst is probably the only genre I know how to write lmao and I don't like smut (sorry fam)
But which would you like to read? : Ships, Idol X OC, One shots/Imagines
ANYWAY ENJOY
-Dimsum 💞 17/05/2017