WARNING: Angst angstangstangstangstangstangst
Because Hoseok, just so happened to walk into the room.
"Hoseok." I gasped, a little too quietly. I was completely surprised, he didn't have to show up.
But he did.
"What do you want?" He groaned, closing the door behind him and giving me an icy glare.
"I want to talk to you."
"I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it. I'm over this, Mark." He sighed in frustration, clenching his fists.
"Please, I just need you to hear me ou-"
"You never heard me out! You never listened to what I had to say! And even when you did, you never believed me! I warned you about Jackson countless times, even after that you crawled back to that backstabbing lowlife."
"Hos-"
"Mark, why should I listen to you?"
"You don't have to listen to me, but I wanted to apologise to yo-"
"What? So you could feel better? So you could sleep at night? Mark, words are just words. You can say sorry a billion times but that doesn't take back the weeks of misery I've been through." Hoseok hissed, his voice had cracked and I could tell he was getting upset. "I needed you more than ever, I trusted you with everything, and you just got up and left."
"Hopi-"
"When Jimin and Suga got together I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to die. I nearly did, but you know what kept me going? You. I thought maybe you would help me get through it, but you just made it worse, you made me realise how much of a failure I am."
"Jung Hoseok, you're not a failur-"
"I started taking my anti-depressants again, but even that couldn't help me, Mark." Hopie cried, leaning against the wall.
I felt tears cloud my vision, and I knew it was too late. I hurt him too much.
"Hoseok-"
"I'm getting better, it's a slow recovery, but I'm getting there. I don't want to trust you again, you'll just tear me down again."
And after that, he finally let me talk.
"I'm so sorry, I know what I did was wrong. It was more than wrong. I was stupid. I left you, I know. I know I should have just left Jackson once I heard about the bet, I wish I did. I shouldn't have got with him in the first place. I chose him over you, and I regret it every day. I wish I could have just ignored him, let him live his own life, but I didn't. I sacrificed everything, for some stupid bet... that isn't even a bet after all... so really, all of it was for nothing."
Hoseok didn't say anything, all he did was stare at me with an unreadable expression, so I continued. I was shaking and I felt extremely vulnerable in the middle of the room, but I needed to do this.
"I can't take back what I did and I tried to ignore it, I tried to ignore you. I try to erase you from my thoughts because every darn time I think about you, I'm reminded of how much of an idiot I am. I miss the way you used to laugh. I miss your smile. I miss you. All you ever did was look out for me, and I didn't realise that. But I hope one day, just one day, someone loves you Hoseok. Someone loves you more than anything because you're so precious, you deserve everything and anything. I hope someone treats you like a piece of art, because you are. You're the sunshine, an angel. You gave me so much hope, that I didn't realise I needed until it was too late. You're the best friend any one could ask for. I'm sorry Jung Hoseok. I really am."
I couldn't see him anymore, I couldn't see anything. My eyes were too filled with tears. Every time I would wipe my eyes, new tears would form. I was sobbing, the hardest I've ever cried, to the point I struggled to breathe.
"I don't trust Jackson. I never did. I know what he's doing, and it's not over." Hoseok sniffed, I heard his footsteps move towards the door.
He's leaving.
"You love him too much." Hoseok stated, and exited the room.
Leaving me in a confused, crying mess.
------------------------•
"How was Namjoon's?" Dad asked me, he had waited for me to come home.
We were sitting at the table, eating dumplings together.
"It was good, actually."
Apart from crying for a good hour, waiting 30 minutes to calm down, and then walking out to find out Hoseok had gone home already.
"Great. That's great." He smiled, happily eating a steaming dumpling with his chopsticks.
"Yeah... hey Dad? I'm sorry about being such a bad son lately, I've just been stressed out. I didn't mean anything I said, I've been ignoring you. Sorry about that."
"I get it. Moody teenagers, I was a teenager too... you know."
"No way. You? A teenager? Never." I answered sarcastically, to which he responded.
"Excuse me? I was a better teenager than you. I used to actually drink alcoholic substances and make out with pretty girls.. oh wait, you don't like girls."
"I don't like girls, thanks for stating the obvious."
"Nothing wrong with it, it just means there are more out there for boys who like girls."
"Okay, Dad. Thanks." I laughed, and we sat in silence, eating our dumplings.
Until Dad decided to bring up tomorrow.
"What are your plans with Jackson tomorrow?"
"I'm supposed to be going to his house for the afternoon, the rest of the day is nothing. We're going out for a date on Saturday to celebrate."
"Sounds like fun, stay safe."
"I'm always safe, Dad."
"I know."
And that was the end of our conversation, because I had a sudden thought.
I should probably unblock MONSTA X from my phone.
"I need to go, I'll see you tomorrow morning." I told him, giving him a quick hug and racing up the stairs.
I need to find my phone.
Where did I put it?
I can't remember
How do I forget where I put my phone?
I don't even know.
I looked everywhere, under my pillows, my blanket, on my desk, in my desk drawers, in the bathroom, the floor, my closet. Everywhere.
Nothing.
I couldn't find it anywhere, and I was just about to unblock them, try and mend things while I'm at it.
And I can't even find it.
I sighed, throwing my miserable self onto the messy bed and sighing in frustration.
Why does this happen to me?
And then I realised.
The hard, rectangular object in my pocket, is my phone.
I had it in my pocket all along.
You're kidding.
"Yes!" I yelled out in success, pulling it out of my pocket and quickly unlocking it.
This is it. This is what I should have done ages ago. I don't know why, but I hesitated for every single person. It shouldn't be hard, but I'm finally paying attention to people I have ignored for weeks, and it hurts.
It hurts a lot.
They only gave up because I gave up on them.
Guilt washed over me, my eyes started to tear up. I should have called them, I should have done something. So I did. Something I should have done weeks ago.
-
Ringing: Changkyun
-
Ring ring.
Come on.
Ring ring.
Please.
"Hello?" He answered, I heard a bunch of laughter in the background.
They sound so happy. I miss them.
"Hey, it's been ages. How have you bee-"
"Who is this?"
That hurt more than it should have.
"Sorry, wrong number." I choked before quickly hanging up.
He already forgot the sound of my voice.
I messed up.
I messed up big time.
---------------•
"Happy 6 month anniversary baby!" Jackson screamed once he saw me at school, he was waiting at the front entrance with a bunch of roses, and I was a little later than usual.
"Happy 6 months!" I screamed back, jumping into his open arms in a much needed hug, wrapping my legs around his waist.
"I'm so happy we made it this far." Jackson sighed happily, hugging me tightly.
"I am too, I love you so much."
"I love you too."
I just wish he meant it.
"We'll be late to class if we don't hurry up, I'll let you spend some time with your friends at lunch... so I'll see you after school?"
"Yes please." I agreed, showering him with kisses before jumping down.
"Be good." He whispered into my ear before handing me the roses and rushing off to class.
I really do love him.
~
"Hey, M to the A to the R to the K." Jungkook smiled as I walked into the art room for lunch.
"Hey, J to the U to the N to the G to the K to the O to the O to the K." I laughed, and literally everyone besides Jungkook in the room rolled their eyes.
Everyone being Namjoon, Jimin, Suga and Jin.
"Please don't do that every time you see each other." Namjoon pleaded, eating his sandwich as Jin played with his boyfriends hair.
"Sorry N to the A to the M to the J to the-"
"Mark, shut up."
"To the O to the O to the N" Jungkook finished for me, and Rapmon had sighed
the loudest I had ever heard him sigh.
"Jin, baby, can you tell them to be quiet."
"No can do, Namjoon."
"That sort of rhymes." Suga piped up from his corner.
"Shut up dope-man." Namjoon fought.
"Noodle."
"A to the G to the U to the SexuallyTransmittedDisease."
"Egg."
"Okay, you win." Namjoon surrendered, everyone else in the room was laughing to the point tears were starting to form.
I swear I can feel some abs.
Wait, I already have abs.
"Where's Hoseok and Tae?" I asked when everyone had calmed down, to which Jungkook answered.
"Tae got let out of hospital yesterday night, Hoseok stayed with him to keep him company."
"Why didn't you stay home with your boyfriend?" I asked Jungkook, and he merely shrugged.
"I think Hobi deserves a day off."
"Fair enough."
"Yeah."
"Mark, do you want to come to the Canteen with me? I'm hungry." Jimin asked me, and I nodded.
I too, am a little hungry.
"Great, let's go."
And with that, we made our way through the corridors and to the canteen. Jimin got a packed of chips and a sandwich, I just got a sandwich.
"Mark, I forgive you. I'm not angry anymore. You're back to your old self, I'm happy." Jimin confessed, and I had never felt happier. "You're spending time with us again, you seem happy. I know it's a little awkward but I reckon in time things will be back to the way it was."
Today is the best day of my life.
Or so I thought.
"Thank you Jimin, I really appreci-" I thanked, but got interrupted by a high pitched whine.
"Jackson leave me alone, Bambam annoys me enough. Stop it! Stop! Stop- stop- stop it"
Yugyeom.
I gave Jimin a look, and he gave me a small smile.
Maybe I should go see Jackson.
"Never." Jackson laughed, I heard their footsteps and figured they were in the next corridor. "I'm never ever going to stop poking you."
I love the sound of his laugh.
We don't usually come down here at all, but it's the closest one to the Canteen.
"Jaebum please stop him." Yugyeom whined and Jaebum finally spoke.
"Jackson, leave the poor child alone."
"Okay Dad."
And then someone else started talking.
"Hey Jackson, how's the thing with Mark going?"
Jinyoung.
"Be quiet, he might hear you."
"He's like 150 metres away, and in a room, don't worry about it."
"Fine, if you really need to know. Things are good. Haven't lost him yet, I've pretty much won."
Won?
"We'll see about that." Jinyoung chuckled.
"He's still here, isn't he? He stayed, so I've won. I just need to break it off tonight."
Tonight?
"Nice, break up on the 6 months, that's cold" Jinyoung laughed. "Are you going to come clean?"
"Maybe. Probably not." Jackson confessed.
"Boring. If you're going to break his heart, do it properly."
"I still think you should have at least broke up with him before he got too attached." Youngjae said, but no one listened.
"Okay, I'll come clean. Jeez."
"At least you never cheated."
Bambam.
And then silence.
"Remember that time I told you Mark found a bra in my room? Yeah that was SoJin from Maths."
He cheated on me. I knew he did.
"Jackson, you're disappointing." Yugyeom sighed.
"I was drunk, okay?" He defended.
"Well, that's pretty good. Considering you cheated on LuHan six times in a week when you were dating him."
"That's the record... anyway, let's talk about this later. We have a basketball match to prepare for." Jackson announced, and I heard a chorus of agreement, before their footsteps running down the hall, away from the Canteen.
The bet was never over.
I've suddenly lost my appetite.
----///---\\|\\A/N: Nope Edit
Markson is actually toxic, this book is such a bad influence and horrible and a perfect example of a bad relationship, sorry fam I'm a horrible person lmao
Anyway, plOT TWIST (I know some of you didn't trust Jackson bc same)
OKAY BUT the REAL JACKSON WANG IS ACTUALLY SUCH A FLUFFBALL AND SO IS MaRK I LOVE THEM
It'll make sense in the end I swear. OKAY LOVE YOU
-Dimsum xxxx 18/04/17