Photo : Matthias Rhoads' manilamatthias Instagram Account
Good morning my dears. Now that you know about Richard's past heartbreak, let's see Dei's own back story with Andrew. Anyone will agree that their first relationship usually shapes the way they would view future relationships. If your first relationship was traumatic, chances are, it will burn you and make you think twice before getting into another relationship again.
See how Dei's first relationship paved the way for her low self-esteem and lack of confidence. The choices we make either help us grow or retreat further, and in Dei's case, she allowed her experience to work against her.
Enjoying your thoughts and feedback so far, I hope I keep getting you engaged in the story. Please feel free to express your ideas, let's see where this story leads us :)
Dei walked into Vanilla Bean, looking for him, her go-to in times when she needed guidance. She walked around the café, looking around till her eyes settled on a tall and slim guy with chinky eyes and a well-toned physique.
"Andrew," She said fondly, coming into his welcoming arms.
"Dei.....hello stranger, haven't seen you in ages! Come on, sit..."
They sat across each other and smiled affectionately. Andrew has been Dei's friend since college days. Theirs was a complex friendship that would have some people shaking their heads, wondering how to make sense of this closeness, because it was actually this same Andrew, who was her first boyfriend, the one who broke her heart.
They met when they became seatmates in college, and Dei was drawn to Andrew's personality. He was quiet and mysterious, he kept mostly to himself. She imagined him to be lonely and needed a friend, so she was nice to him and made sure to talk to him during vacant periods. They developed a friendship and were teased a lot, with classmates and friends assuming that they were developing into a couple.
Andrew was affectionate and touchy-feely with Dei, fueling her secret attraction for him. It was second nature for them to walk around with his arm across her shoulders, or their arms linked together. At every student gathering, it was automatic for Andrew to take her home. There were times when they would even sleep beside each other, falling asleep while talking, relaxing in Dei's bedroom during times that her dad was away on business trips and Andrew would accompany her at home because her sister was also away.
It came to a head one day when they were playing truth or dare during a weekend at a friend's beach house, and it was Andrew's turn to spin the bottle. The bottle pointed to Dei, who was a bit tipsy from wine coolers they were drinking.
"Dare."
"Ok Dei, since you and Andrew won't reveal what the real score is between you two, we dare you to kiss him on the lips. Ten seconds, come on, no cheating because we'll be counting."
Dei froze, she'd never kissed a man before, and it was doubly awkward because Andrew was someone she was attracted to. Andrew looked embarrassed, and Dei, who was seated slightly higher than Andrew, leaned slowly down to brush her lips lightly against his. Their friends counted ten seconds, dragging on the last five, until she felt Andrew's hand steady her nape to avoid her losing balance. It only made the kiss deepen, and she felt his mouth open slightly.
"Ten seconds are over, you two! You can stop now."
They broke away from each other and smiled awkwardly. After the group dispersed, they took a walk along the beach, both lost in thought. At a certain point, Andrew stopped walking and faced her, willing her to look at him.
"Do you like me Dei?"
She felt there was no use denying it. After all, he was a good friend and she knew he wouldn't hurt her, not intentionally.
"Yes, Andrew. For quite a while now."
Andrew looked pained with her answer. He pulled her by the arm to hug her, cradling her head on his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around his middle and she relished this physical closeness.
"There's a debate going on inside my head Dei. I want to make you happy, but I might end up hurting you. Would you be willing to take the risk?"
She merely smiled happily and nodded, their lips meeting the second time that night.
The weeks that followed were blissful for Dei, as their friendship transitioned. Andrew was a thoughtful boyfriend, he made all the right moves, gave her ample attention. But Dei wanted more. She wanted physical intimacy as a validation of their feelings for each other. She envied other female friends who complained of boyfriends unable to keep their hands to themselves, of always being groped by their boyfriend. She wanted to feel that. She wanted Andrew to be so crazy for her that he would throw caution to the wind and just pin her down and have his way with her.
But Andrew was the consummate gentleman to a fault. She once tried to lure him by serving wine during their DVD marathon weekend, succeeding in getting him to bed with her, but not fully consummating the act because he said it was wrong. It was that same night that he finally admitted he was confused about his sexuality. That he was attracted to both men and women, that he loved her but his feelings were not enough to want intimacy with her.
It rocked their friendship, and for a few weeks they kept away from each other. Dei suffered her heartbreak alone, refusing to confide in any of her friends to protect Andrew's secret. She stayed away from him but felt no anger, not wanting to blame the way he was for the failure of their relationship. She accepted to move forward without him. But Andrew sincerely cared for Dei too, and persisted in winning her back as a friend. They eventually got back to being really close friends.
Looking at him now, Dei had no regrets. She was glad they never consummated their relationship. She was thankful she had Andrew as a friend, he was the only one she could trust with her secrets.
"So, Dei..........you seem to be in full bloom. Who's responsible for this?"
"You assume immediately it's because of someone. Really, Dru."
"Well....isn't it? Look at you, you're blushing. So transparent, hahaha."
"Ok, fine. Yes, there is someone. We're still getting to know each other. I need to be careful not to make the same mistake twice," She said as a joke, without any trace of bitterness.
"Oohhh burn. Must you bring that up?"
"Kidding. What about you? "
"Unattached right now."
"Huh? What happened to Carl? You've been together for so long."
"Yeah, well.....I caught him cheating on me. It got ugly and....he moved out."
"Dru, noooo..........Hey come here."
She made him transfer to her side of the booth and cuddled him. He leaned his head on her shoulder, her arm extended sideways, hand tapping gently on his jaw. They were quiet for a while, rocking their bodies in sync, enjoying the companionable silence, lost in each other's thoughts.
"Dei.....I miss you."
"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?"
"No......I miss you as a girlfriend."
"Don't say that. You're just vulnerable right now because Carl left."
"Yeah, maybe you're right. I'm so messed up in the head. Let's not talk about me, tell me more about this guy."
"He's the Creative Director handling my accounts. He owns Pallas Digital, and he's close to our age, maybe around 25? We've been dating for two months now."
"Two months dating? What does that mean?"
"Dating....we go out, spend time together."
"What about sex?"
"God, Dru....when did you start being so crude?"
"No intimacy yet?"
"Geez, no. You messed me up so bad I've become really careful."
"Goodness, you were into me THAT much?"
"Wow, easy on your ego, you might break off your head."
Andrew laughed and looked at her, pinching her cheek.
"Seriously, Dru. You gave me a large chip on my shoulder. I have trust issues because of you."
"Awwww. So sorry baby. Come here, tell me more about this guy." He pulled her by hooking an arm around her neck. "Is he as hot as that guy walking toward us?"
She was still smiling when she looked up, and then she froze as their eyes met.
"Fuck, Dru. That IS him. Take you hands off me, dammit."
She shoved Andrew away and straightened up from her seat. Richard was walking towards them, with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.
Damn, she was screwed.