Harry...
I wanted it to be Taylor.
I know it's pretty shitty of me to hope for it, but at least I'm being honest even if only to my thoughts.
I wanted it to be Taylor, or at least anybody significant enough to change or influence the flow of the game.
Selena was quicker to move as she put some distance between us, where we now stood facing Nina. By the nonplussed expression she sported though, we could tell Selena's attempt of secrecy was futile.
Her frantic eyes danced between me and Selena, mouth opening and closing.
"Nina, I-I can explain"
Selena's voice snaps her out of her stupor, giving us the short straw of an incredulous glance, her next movements both confusing and startling us. Turning around she reached for the door, shutting it firmly before facing us with a newfound stern countenance and a matching tone. "Cara's coming"
My brows drew together for a second before I finally grasped it. It was a warning.
Risking a glance at Selena, I find her orbs already fastened to me, her panic as clear as day. I widen my eyes, hoping it would be enough to send a message of calming her down. That was the only interaction that passed between us, as the door opened a second time.
"Nina, why'd you close the door? You knew I was just right be-" her voice trailing off as she finally spotted us "-hind you"
Just like Nina, her eyes took the both of us in. A reasonable space was now dividing us, but apart from that everything else probably spelled suspicion and by the look on her face I could tell she was grasping it all, detail by detail - my hair, that I could feel is now in a haphazard mess, our stiff postures and of course Selena's red rimmed eyes.
Cara must have noticed this too as she took a lot longer assessing Selena's state. My hand twitched by my side, yearning to reach out to comfort my girl, given the scenario though, it was obviously a foolish attempt.
"Did you cry? What happened?"
I don't know if it's just a figment of my imagination, but to me it sounded like there was contempt in her tone.
"I-I..just a small disagreement with my mom. I spoke to her on the phone a while ago."
Cara frowned, giving her a look "Doesn't look small to me. But what are you doing here anyway?"
"She needed some air, I brought her here." I answered in a firm tone before Selena could open her mouth. I respected her independence and her value for friendship, knowing she might prefer to deal with Cara on her own. But I needed her to know I'll be with her through it all. I just hope I haven't overstepped somehow.
Three pairs of eyes turn towards me, one curious, another edgy and the one holding the biggest impact on me - anxious.
"O-kay" she replied, head snapping back quickly to Selena. "I'm your best friend, you could have asked me. I would've accompanied you."
If it wasn't so inappropriate I might have let out a loud laugh. It almost sounded as if Cara's questioning was triggered by jealousy on Selena's preference of bringing me with her instead of Cara.
"I know Cares, but I bumped onto him when I got out of the ladies' room and you know how Harry is." Selena answered a little more confidently, albeit still with a shaky laugh.
"Oh, of course, never leaving a damsel in distress. The exact trait that had Taylor so whipped for you in the first place." I knew it was the alcohol lingering in her system that triggered that statement from her, since a fully sober Cara was never one to speak of Taylor and mine's relationship without caution. Nevertheless, it incited the expected effect as Selena, I and even Nina slightly cringed.
"Y-yeah, uhm, so what are you doing here by the way?" Selena asked, surprisingly and I don't know why but oddly enough I felt a surge of pride for her.
"Same as you" Cara shrugged, raising a glass to her lips that I didn't even notice she was holding. "Just the air part though, nothing about an argument."
"Okay then" I rushed out, signaling for Selena to start towards the door.
"Wait you're leaving already?" Cara asked, latching onto Selena's arm once she moved.
"Uhm, well, w-we" Selena stuttered, head whipping towards me.
"We've been here quite a while now and we were actually on our way back when Nina arrived." I continued. Cara looked at me again, but it was Nina's vague stare that caught my attention and I held it, silently asking her to keep quiet even just for now - for Selena's sake at least.
"Rosebud" Cara whined, pouting, drawing everyone's attention. "I feel like I haven't hung out with you in ages. You will tell me, if there's something wrong, right?" It was obvious she meant it as a whisper, but her drunk mind probably has a hard time grasping the meaning of a whisper, as of the moment.
Selena nodded, hugging the leggy blonde before taking a few steps to the door. I took that as my cue to haul the door open, ushering her inside then falling in step behind her. I reach for the door handle again, and the last thing I see before shutting it is the stern expression in Nina's eyes.
We descended the stairs in silence, my eyes taking in her worried composure. My hand clenched by my side, hoping to hold her. But Selena's gaze remained forward, showing no signs of wanting to talk about our encounter, so I kept my mouth shut. It was only when we reached the second landing that she surprised me, showing her distress. Stopping to rest on a wall, she hid her face in her hands releasing a breath. My steps faltered immediately, searching for signs of tears. Thankfully, her cheeks were dry this time when she removed her hands and straightened to face me. But still her anxiety was evident.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my right hand tucking some strands of hair behind her ear, before gently cupping her face. I wanted nothing more than to draw her in my arms and keep her safe. But given the recent events, I'm uncertain if she's craving my affections currently.
Her glossy hazel eyes dart to both of mine "Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe." She answered in between breaths, the night having taken its toll on her. She bit her lip tentatively before surprisingly launching herself onto me, her arms winding on my neck. My relief was immense as soon as I had her tight in an embrace, pretty face tucked under my chin.
It wasn't advisable, but our whereabouts was soon forgotten along with the circumstances we just faced. We stood there, unmoving, except for our breathing that had steadied, finding calm in each other. My left arm was draped on her shoulder, while my other stayed on the small of her back, thumb starting to move in circles on her skin, hoping to provide some comfort. I felt her sigh and press deeper onto me, making me smile instantaneously.
"I'm scared" she mumbled in a much calmer voice as she pulled back a little, eyes searching mine again.
"I know. We'll figure it out. Yeah?" I asked, brushing my knuckles on the soft skin of her cheek. For a moment I feared she might snap at me again with my lack of conviction and of a better answer, only to end up releasing a breath as she gave me a tentative smile and nodded. Her eyes were getting droopy and I reckoned the alcohol must now be departing from her, taking her bravado and leaving exhaustion in its tails.
"Do you want to go home?"
She nodded "Yes please"
"Okay"
"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked in a small voice giving me the impression she's afraid I might reject her. But I never could.
"Of course baby." I smiled, placing a soft kiss on her temple.
"We can't leave together though. I'm sure Nina will be wanting to talk to me."
My jaw clenched at her dejected sigh. Hooking my thumb to lift her chin up, I chastely pecked on her lips, enough to halt her words. After what just happened it's dangerous I know, but one, just one.
"Do you want me to be there? She hangs out with us too, won't be odd if I was seen with the two of you."
By her fleeting eyes I could tell she was greatly considering it, almost to the point that she's tempted to say yes.
"I'd like that. But I think I need to speak to her alone first." Closing my eyes briefly, I nodded. She smiled at me and I was certain she knew how much it troubled me to stray from her side during that moment. But like I said, I respected her strength and will, and I knew she appreciated that from me.
Lacing her fingers with mine we continued the trek down the stairs, the thoughts of what happened and what it will bring looming above our heads.
I rarely made a mistake in my judgment of people. Nina was just like Cara and the perfect word to describe them was genuine. A genuine friend and unfortunately a genuine enemy. With the events that'll inevitably come, I'm uncertain which will become fitting for them. I just strongly hope it'll remain the former.
(o)
Selena...
I kept an eye out at the end of the hall, never knowing if the next echoes of footfalls belong to who I'm waiting for. As soon as we reached the club, I didn't wait any second and tried to send Harry on his way. He wasn't happy about it, but eventually I was able to convince him with the argument that he has to leave earlier just to drive back to my place incognito.
Once he was out of range, I immediately sent a text to Nina, with the request of meeting me. I wasn't entirely sure if I should have waited a few more days, a chance to collect myself. But I thought it would be better this way, before the last ounce of my liquid courage had finally drained. I didn't even know how to go about explaining things to her, I just felt that I should - putting myself in her shoes, I'm pretty certain things got confusing for her.
Craning my neck, I still spot no sign of her and I begin to wonder if she's even coming. I release an exasperated sigh as I teetered on the balls of my feet, focusing on a small crack running downwards on the opposite wall. Perhaps I should have let Harry stay, his presence alone could send these jitters away. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I would've looked like a fish out of water the moment Nina and Cara burst through the door.
"Selena, sorry am I late?"
My mouth fell open as my head inevitably turned to the source. Standing at Five foot six with a slender body and long tousled locks, this friend of mine is truly divine.
"Selena" she asked, waving her hand at my face with amusement on her features once she settled herself in front of me. "Are you alright?"
I didn't even realize I was already staring in part amazement and disbelief that she actually accepted my invitation.
"Hi, sorry."
"No problem...so you wanted to meet?"
I guess it's time to face the music.
"Uhm, yes, you see about what you saw earlier, I... just want to explain."
"You love him?"
"What?" I asked, taken aback by Nina's blunt tone.
Nina sighed, running a hand through her mane "Selena, I just saw you for a good second or two but I think that was enough for me to know that kiss wasn't just a casual hook-up."
"You're right, it wasn't and yes I do love him." I said in a breath. I don't think there was a point in lying to her and frankly I didn't want to, she deserves a lot more than that.
She gave a nod, the look she was wearing still undecipherable for me and if anything it just added to the unsteadiness of my hands that I tried to hide by clutching my dress. "And you're worried I might say something to Taylor or Cara at least?"
I pressed my lips together "Well that and along of what you think of me right now."
Oh fuck, why the hell did I say that?
"What I think of you?" she asked, eyebrows sloping towards each other.
I took a pause this time, trying to think of anything helpful. But as of the moment, my gut's telling me to just stick with honesty. "Nina, you saw me kissing Harry, and he's an ex-boyfriend of my best friend."
This time, I recognized the incredulous look she sported. "Are you serious?" she asked, releasing a breath when I shrugged my shoulders. "Selena let me tell you something." she started, casting a glance for any sight of a passerby before stepping closer to me once we reckoned the coast was clear.
"Cara's amazing and Taylor...well I haven't had a chance to really get to know her yet, but I think she's cool," she paused, calming me down a little as she gave me a small smile, hands reaching for my own. "But do bear in mind Selena, I wouldn't have met them if it wasn't for you. I may not agree with your ways - doesn't mean you can't be happy though. I guess you should just tell them. I just can't promise Cara will be as understanding as me."
You might even take their side once you know the whole truth. I thought, reciprocating the smile that had turned a bit melancholic towards the end of her statement.
"I know, that's what's actually making it hard for me. I've already lost a close friend of mine. I don't think I could bear it if I lost the both of them at once."
"Does he love you?" she asked, worriedly.
"Yes, he does" I answered with no hesitation, though slightly curious to her expression.
She smiled again, sincerely this time. "Good. There's no guarantee of what'll happen when it comes to them, but at least you have him."
Her words did bring me instant relief. But my doubt was still evident, "So you mean to say you're okay with me dating an ex of my best friend? Don't you find it odd, or..." I paused, searching for the right word, Nina obviously blatantly hanging onto it.
"Or?"
"Or bitchy?" I finally settled for one, even if I knew it was way past an understatement.
Nina's face scrunched "I don't know. I mean, don't you think bitchy is a bit too harsh?"
My eyebrows sloped together, still thinking she hasn't grasped it yet "Put it this way, would you be okay with me dating Ian?"
Brown eyes stared at me, blinking twice before her loud laughter bounced against the walls of the narrow hallway. I guess citing me and Ian as an example did quite seem extreme.
Finding her composure, amusement still dangled on her pretty face. "Well, I admit you and Ian does seem quite a bit odd. But if you swing for him then go for it. I won't judge."
"Just like that?" I scrunched my nose, more skeptical that I was getting off the hook easily than freaked out by the mental picture me and Ian posed.
"Selena" Nina called out, sighing with a tone full of conviction that has me guessing who's on point and who's not. "It's all about moving on. I've moved on and am happy, that's why if you and an ex of mine happened, I'd be able to accept it so it'll most likely be the same with Taylor."
This time, it was my turn to blink, staring back towards an expecting Nina.
"Selena? She has moved on, hasn't she?"
Silence, my only answer was finding interest in my own feet.
"Oh Selena" Nina sighed again, this time more dejected than the last. Her hands clasping mine once more was what made my gaze find hers again.
"You've got Harry, it'll be alright. Maybe not soon, but I just have a feeling it will be."
I smiled. "Thank you."
Enclosing me in a brief hug, she returned my smile and backed a few steps "I gotta go back, they might get suspicious. Just keep in mind though, she deserves to hear this from you." Nina stated before turning around.
Even though her words were nothing but sweet and encouraging, a reply failed me as my breath hitched in my throat.
I've heard almost the exact same statement from Kate not even more than one – well two days now technically. But I can't help the more ominous feel to this one.
(o)
The drinks, dancing, stories and pictures always seem too inviting to pass up before a night out starts – until the downside sinks in.
The aftermath.
A few minutes after my conversation with Nina, I decided to finally call it a night. Taylor and Cara were both reluctant to let me go, but just a few seconds of it I managed to pry my arm from their grip. Thanks to a passing waiter carrying plates of macarons. Any other time, I would've given in to the temptation the delightful sweets posed. But the call of my plush bed was greater.
Stepping onto the foyer, I almost threw my stilettos away after managing to remove them, which was quite a task given my almost tranced state. Yet despite the drowsiness clouding my mind, I remember to text Harry, going on instinct as I climb the stairs whilst my eyes remain glued to the screen of my phone.
We were still far from stable, but I cannot deny the relief I felt when he reassured me he wasn't angry at me. I don't even think it was healthy – how fast our moods could transition from one to another. But with Harry and me, it seems everything is toxic. We needed to talk this out of course, maybe later, when he arrives. Or perhaps the more seemingly preferable option, tomorrow, when we've finally managed to douse in some sleep.
Besides, after the onslaught of events tonight, I couldn't even be more glad I'm finally home.
"Hi" A foreign voice calls just as I stepped into my room, turned on the lights and shut the door, my phone almost slipping from my hand.
After making sure I wasn't already dreaming and a figure was indeed tucked comfortably on my bed, a newfound dread washed over my sleepy state.
The short, sandy brown hair and the pale complexion – I think I have finally managed to put a face behind the cap.
AN: It's Nina!
But uh-oh, Selena's stalker enters the scene! I hope you guys liked it, until then, please vote and comment.
I love you all :)