This is basically a Filler I'll update really soon. promise.
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Liam’s P.O.V
8-9-11
Feeling the warmth of his body pressed against mine, the taste of his lips, the way his lips moved into the words of ‘I love you’ everything he does makes me fall in love with him even more than I already do. He makes me, me, makes me love life, makes forget about the negatives and believe in the positives. He makes me smile, makes me happy to be alive makes the monsters go away that hide under my bed of a night, holds me with dear life when I have a bad dream, kisses me out of the blue, sings to me as I fall to sleep. Everything he does makes me love more, his perfect, in every way, every sense of life and loyalty. I can trust him on my whole life, there nothing I can’t say to him, nothing I can’t tell him, cause his Liam, my Liam just a small boy from Wolverhampton who made it, who swept me of my feet, taking my heart with him every move he made and I love him so much for it, his the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, his the one I want to start a family with, his the one I want to die with, Liam, my Liam.
His words bleed, cut like knives, melted like fire. I hated it, I hated every second of it. I don’t get why he gave this to me, why does he want to break me, why doesn’t he get I’m with someone else, why does he want me to feel bad, making me want to push away everyone in my life and sulk over him, thinking of the times when they were good and we were perfect together.
I grunted pulling myself of my bed and throwing the notebook into the closest draw possible rubbing my eyes as I exited the room. My oversized hoddie that draped over my arms getting court on the door handle making me grouch in frustration as everything started falling apart.
I tugged on it tight, making the door slam shut in the proses, causing a tight rip down the sleeve. It wasn’t until then when I heard his soft voice, make my bones relax as his placed voice echoed my ear drums.
“You okay, Le-Leeyum?” Harry spoke. I turned looking at sadly, his face healing still bruised but getting there, his stuttering had quieted down, not showing one little bit of pain as he spoke, witch pleased me to see how well he was recovering so quickly.
“Liam?” he repeated. My head faced the floor, not bearing to make eye contact with him, too ashamed to speak. I felt his small body make its way over to mine, his long dangly arms wrapping around my thinning waist. “It’s felt like agers si-sine I’ve bee-n able to do this” he whispered, his head hanging low as his lips touched my earlobe.
“Yeah” I replied, my voice hazy and sounding completely sarcastic, when I didn’t mean it too. His head fell making me feel awful.
“I’ve missed you Harry, I really have” I mumbled pulling his body closer to mine. “I just don’t know where I am right now”
“What? What do you mean?” his voice cracking as he spoke.
“I don’t know, I just feel…dirty” he tugged on my shoulder bringing my face towards his, I could feel his steady hot breath hitting my ice cold cheek. I watched as his lips started to form into words but my ears wouldn’t listen, I was too distracted by the way his amazing lips looking lushes’ than ever, my mouth going dry and just wanting to pounce on him sucking the life out of his beautiful soul.
But I couldn’t.
My body was frozen and wouldn’t move, if I did I would feel worse than I already do.
So I just stared, and wanted, but nothing would make my limbs pounce onto him.
“…Liam? Leeyum, a-are you even lis-listening? Li are you okay?” My ears finally opening up and hearing his low voice full of worry, as his hand waved in front of my face. I blinked stepping back, nodding turning around and slowly walking away.
“Sorry, I-I have…to go” I mumbled my palms sweeting as my I could feel my heart ache threw my chest beating faster and faster as I made my way down the stairs, grabbing my coat but I was stopped in my tracks when I felt a hand trail my shoulder.
“What are you doing Leeyum?” he breathed.
“I need air”
“No Liam, the doctor said you have to stay in-doors and get rest.”
“No! I don’t want to, I want out, now.”
“Liam just relax, your fine, your just…you’re just confused.”
“No, I’m not I want out, Louis let me out, please, just please move.”
“I’m sorry Liam, just got back to bed.”
I stood there staring at his cloudy eyes, written with concern. I hate it. I hated seeing him like this. Concerned about me, when there was no reason to be, I’m…I’m fine. And everyone just has to get through their head. I might be different in appearance, but that doesn’t change me, I’m fine, I’m the same old me.
“Please Liam, jut rest” his hand came to sit on the top of my shoulder but I nudged it off, looking at him in disbelief. His eyes twisted as I gave a death stare making my way back to my room.
“Leeyum” Louis’ voice faded in the background as I started to get further and further away from the older lad.
My legs ached as they seemed to get weak and shaky, I gripped onto the nearest ledge that happened to be right next to me.
It hurt like hell but like a knife was suddenly being driven my calf muscles causing me to bend gripping them with pain. But the pain suddenly stopped when I heard the awful cries coming from the room next to me.
My heart ached. It burned, as I heard him chock on his tears, gasping for ear. “This is all my fault” I crushed under my breath allowing it only to be loud enough so I could hear. I was about to get up and make my way towards Harry so I could comfit him but I was stopped as the Irish accent came charging from the room.
“Harry, stop this yeah? Just breathe.”
“He, he- hates m-me”
“What who? Who possibly could hate you Harold?”
“Liam, he hates me.”
“Harry, no he doesn’t, why would you think that.”
“He does! Why, why is he we-wearing his clothes? Why does he have his stupid black book? Why does he whisper his name when he thinks no one is listening? Explain that for me, Niall.”
“He-he-his stupid Harry!”
My mined twisted and twirled as I continued to listen to their conversation, it was true I was stupid. Just like Niall said, Stupid. That explained everything. Why am I, wearing his clothes? Why am reading that book that only crushes me? Why do I keep repeating his name over and over? Because I’m fucking stupid.
I cursed under my breath, the ache in my legs completely gone as I made my way to my room slamming the door closed with force.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
Niall’s words kept going over and over my mind.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
I’m stupid for hurting him, stupid for crushing him, stupid for not keeping my promise.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
I’m stupid for falling in love with him, I’m stupid for making him hold me, and nurse me back together when all I do is mess up.
I’m stupid for not being good enough.
My hands wrapped around the lamp gripping it with force and throwing it to the ground, it crashed loudly making my emotions hit the table. And that’s when my body was over powering me soon realizing I was destroying everything, anything I could lay my hands on was soon on the ground in broken bits. My bed destroyed, and clothes flying everywhere. I couldn’t stop, my body just wanting this, it needed this. Tears where falling down my gagged cheeks, I was losing control, I could feel my feet being pricked with glass as I stepped on the broken parts feeling no pain what’s so ever. Everything was destroyed but that black leather book that just laid there on the floor, I picked it up staring at it with hatred, opening it up and staring at the pages my hands slowly glancing over the pages about to rip the pages out but his voice stopped me. He stopped me from doing what I had to do most, destroy this book.
“Liam, don’t” I turned to look at him pleading eyes just asking for this last thing to destroy but no, he gripped my waist knocking the book to the floor, my arms slivered around his back as my head sunk in his neck. My breathing was hazy, I couldn’t control it only making Harry sooth his hand over my shoulder blades causing me relax under his touch.
“I’m so, so sorry for doing this-“
“Liam, don’t, just leave it,” He cut me off. “I’ve got you now.”
“I love you so much.” I choked on my sobs, I felt him tighten his grip, but he didn’t say it back. Instead he pulled me back looking deeply into my eyes and before I knew it his lips where on mine, I was startled, I felt his lips lock harder against mine as I didn’t kiss back, but I didn’t just stay still for long, my arms brushing his hair as I finally moved my lips along with his, a moan escaping his lips as he pushed me my back colliding with the wall. It was so good, so hard, so loving-
“Guys?”
Harry and I both braking apart as our fellow band mates stood behind us, we just stared at each other deeply in the eyes taking in each other as all we could. His hands left my hips focusing on my hands.
I could feel the shock in the room as the Niall and Louis watched on.
Harry turned around facing the red faces that stood only meters away their mouths dropped open. “What?” Harry breathed, his hand cupping with mine squeezing it tight.
“Will- go” Niall spoke, both boys backing up towards the door, slamming it shut along the way.
My head faced the floor as I felt my cheeks go bright red, but Harry stopped that his hand pushing my chin up so I was looking him directly in the eyes.
He was grinning widely, peaking my lips making me blush lightly.
“I love you too babe.” He smiled, making me fall head over heels more in love with him.