Zayn snatched my hand up as we walked out of the tour bus, and I rolled my eyes. He just grinned at me, but I couldn't deny that the sparkle in his eyes as he gave me that perfect smile made me smile as well. My heart warmed and butterflies fluttered aimlessly in my stomach as he pulled me closer to his side, entwining our fingers as we walked towards the Wal Mart we would be doing a cd signing at. The crowd behind us screamed their heads off at the sight of us - the were the ones who couldn't gain access to the signing, but they still came to see us.
I smiled at waved at them, as did the boys. When we got into the store, workers shook our hands and, being a bit panicked, lead us through the hallways. I held in my laughter as they all fidgeted with their work shirts, probably feeling uncomfortable at the presence of International super-band One Direction. After taking our seats in the small room where we would be signing cd's, fans were allowed in. The screaming started instantly as they filled in the five rows of waiting until Paul, the boys' bodyguard, let the first few come down the line.
The signing consisted of a lot of signatures and girls asking the guys and myself for requests. When they gave us a present, we took it and smiled, putting it in a box behind us so we could sort it out on the tour bus later. Usually girls asked the guys for a hug, high five, or kiss on the cheek if not the opportunity to touch their hair or something as silly as that.
"I'm hungry," Niall complained from my left; Zayn on my right.
I agreed easily, signing a copy of the boy's album with my bonus tracks. "Yeah, same. Are we allowed to send someone for food?"
Louis glanced at me with a grin. "Someone just gave me carrots. Want some?"
"Yes!" Niall and I choroused.
The rest of the signing, people continued with their requests. Most took videos, but a lot of people snapped photos of each of us - although I did notice how people would practically shove their phones right between Zayn and I, snapping a photo of us. Eventually, Zayn noticed too, and chuckled before slinging an arm around my shoulders somewhat mockingly.
When the signing was over, we had to basically hide out in Walmart before the police and body guards declared it was safe to leave. That meant looking in the presents box, which I loved to do. Even though there were a lot of presents given to us and most of them were for the boys, I absolutely adored seeing the things that fans had taken the time to make for me or even bought for me. I mean, how much better can fans get?
So I discreetly rummaged through the box of presents, picking out a few things I remember recieving. Niall came up behind me and stuck his hand in the box, picking up a beaded green bracelet before slipping it on. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he sent me a smile, his other hand playing with the new bracelet on his wrist.
"A girl in a cute fringe shirt gave this to me," Niall told me, probably smiling because of the memory. "It had her number on it. I forget it though."
My heart warmed, and I smiled sweetly. "That's so cute. Why didn't you write down her number so you could call her?"
He shrugged. "She lives here. I live in another country. Long distance like that doesn't work out."
I frowned after Niall as he toyed with the bracelet on his wrist, walking away and over to Harry and Liam. Did the guys feel like this often? Watching them, I saw Niall talk about something before the guys pointed out the bracelet, softened expressions dawning on their features, looking understanding. Wow. The guys actually shared the lonely feeling together?
"Trying to steal all the good presents?" A familiar voice asked from above me.
I stood up and whipped around, smiling sheepishly at Zayn who smirked. "Just trying to remember what I had gotten and what I didn't."
"Yeah, sure. I saw Niall get a bracelet out of there."
"Did you know they felt so... sad sometimes?" I questioned in a low voice, glancing at them to make sure they didn't hear me. "Niall remembered what the girl that gave him was wearing. A thousand people must've come through here, but he remembered her specifically."
"Sometimes they see a girl they want to start a conversation with and then remember that they can't."
"But..."
"Yes, Rose, it's sad. But they're all happy more than they are sad."
"Do you ever feel like that?"
Zayn looked at me, obviously caught a bit off guard. After a second of studying my curious sideways glance directed at him, Zayn shook his head, telling me that he didn't.
"Why?" I questioned. "You're just like them."
He shrugged, "Because they don't have a girlfriend," He grinned teasingly, taking my hand and pulling me towards them. "Hey, guys. What's up?"
"I kind of want to go outside and sign some cd's for the fans," Harry told us. "I mean, they came out to see us and we won't be back in the U.S for awhile. I feel bad for them."
"You feel bad because they aren't getting the chance to drool over you?" I giggled.
"Everyone wants a piece of Harry Styles."
"Yeah, sure," I said, rolling my eyes. "But it seems like a good idea to go interact with them. Can't Paul protect you incase some major fan goes crazy?"
Louis shook his head at us, frowning. "The girls are directioners; not fans."
I laughed at him, and he simply grinned. The fact that this is how they really felt about their fans gave me growing respect for my five friends - oh, and one 'boyfriend'.
-*-*-*-*-*-
"If I begged, would you get me ice-cream?"
"Nope."
"Why?"
"Because I'm comfortable here."
"But... So am I."
"Make Liam or Niall do it," Zayn told me, flashing me an obvious smile as he played with my hair. "If either of us move, it won't be comfortable."
Zayn and I were currently on his top bunk bed together. While he was leaning against the small headboard for back support, I was laying down on his bunk bed with my head on his chest and his arm around me. Butterflies swirled in my stomach when I first realized he was acting like this simply because he wanted to - no boys or cameras were around to prove this moment was really happening - and my smile never left my lips.
That is, until now - I pouted up at my best friend, my hand poking defined abs. "Please, Zaynie? I thought you were my boyfriend!"
He took my hand, capturing it in his as he smirked down at me. "Just skip the ice-cream tonight, dear."
"Yeah, skip ice-cream my ass." I muttered, taking my hand from his.
In this process, I unknowingly revealed my wrist to him. Zayns eyes trained on my wrist as the smile vanished from his lips and he grabbed my hand to make it stay still as he assessed the old scars. Embarassment washed over me as well as panic at the realization that I was caught - by Zayn, of all people. Quickly, I tried to rip my wrist from his hold, but he held it tighter.
"Zayn, let go," I demanded, my voice only slightly wavering. "I, um, want to get ice-crea-"
"What is this?"
When his gaze met mine, I felt disappointed in myself almost immediately. His eyes held so much sadness for me, but I could see the disappointment and slight anger in them as well. Shying away from his gaze, Zayn brought his other hand up and forced it under my chin to make me look at him. I felt the tears burning my eyes so I just shut them, refusing to look into his eyes and see all of the emotions that I've been able to hide from.
"Let me go," I said somewhat sternly, blindly wiggling away from him, but to no avail.
"Rose, what is this?" Zayn repeated, his voice sounding more like a growl than his gentle tone from before. "What did you do to yourself?"
A tear slipped out of my closed eye, my heart breaking as I felt myself grow weak. No, I had to stay strong - I wouldn't cry in front of Zayn, and I wouldn't admit to my past when it was so stupid and thoughtless. Embarassed and angry at myself, I punched his arm childishly until he loosened his grip enough for me to hop out of his bed and practically run into the bathroom and shut the door. I leaned against the shower, tears escaping my eyes, sobs coming up from my throat.
But that wasn't the end of it. It only took a few moments of me being at the farthest end of the bathroom before Zayn got in and found me. Preventing him from seeing my tears, I turned my head so I faced the wall as he walked over to me. To see the disappointment and sympathy in his eyes again would be unbearable - and frankly, very unsettling. But like he knew I didn't want to talk, Zayn gathered me up in his arms and we slid down to the floor, sitting in the shower as I cried into his shoulder, my body shaking with every sob.
Why did he get to be the first person I cried in front of? Why did he get to be the first person who saw my scars from the tragic past? More questions swarmed in my head as I pushed them away, all giving them the same answer without much thought: because I cared about him, and he cared about me. I tried to stop the tears, but they kept coming. With his arms wrapped around me and the curtain shielding us from everyone else, I felt a tingling sense of safety that went along well with my softening feelings toward him seeing my scars.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, the tears falling onto his shirt as he openly accepted them - accepted me - as I was.
Zayn gave me a squeeze, murmuring into my hair, "Don't be."
0o0o0o0o
crying because i met them help
all in all, my life is complete.
but this chapter is super short omg don;t hate me but HEY ZAYN FOUND OUT HER SECRRET