Toby's PoV
- Goodnight Gracie. Sweet dreams.
- Night Spencer, Night Toby.
We slowly close the door and head up to our bedroom.
- You okay Spencer ? I ask
If you want i can go on the couch.
- What's that suppose to mean ? She asks in a really serious tone i haven't hear in a while
- Nothing. It's a real question. I answer sincerely
Although, i'm kind of tired because i barely slept in 10 days because of her panic attacks.
- I'm just saying, maybe you would be better without me in the bed Spence. I scare you
- What?! This isn't true.
- Oh come on! I raise my voice a bit but slow it down when i realize that we just put Grace to bed
- Come on what Toby?
- You're scared of me. Everything i touch you even a bit you jump out of the bed !
- Excuse me ? How could you say this ?! You know why i react like this! I still have proofs on my body!
- I just want to sleep Spencer! I can't deal with all this! I can't even give you a hug anymore without feeling like i'm harassing you!
- How can you say that to me ?! You think this is easy for me ? I miss you having you in my arms! You think it's easy for me to not trust my husband, the love of my life, you because a random dude raped me!
- Don't say i-
- ACCEPT IT TOBY! Say it! I have been raped! And this is our life now! Yes i jump every time a door bangs, i shake every time you touch me but this is me now! This isn't my fault and you need to understand this! How can you be so selfish?! You think i've been sleeping lately? Not that much either.
She sits and start to cry.
Oh my god. She's so right. How Can I act like this. I don't know a bit what she's been through. I have been so selfish. I shouldn't be the one complaining about all this... This isn't me, why Am I acting like this oh noo. I don't deserve to be here, i've been such a jerk
I sit on the bed and start to cry too.
I need to get this out
Spencer noticed my state and comes near me, while trying to dry hers
- Toby I-
- No, it's me. You're right, i've been a selfish jerk. It's just that Spence, i miss you so much. I hate being the reason you scream at night. I feel guilty, even more than before.
- Toby it's not your fault, not before, not now, not never. But you gotta give me time.
- Of course honey. I'm so sorry it's just, sometimes i have the feeling that i need to get everything out on someone, but it shouldn't have been you...
i'm gonna go and let you sleep now. Again I'm so sorry.
- Toby wait! Take the bed. It's the least I can do
- Spencer, you don't owe anyone anything. You're not the problem, i am for being this stupid.
- I insist. Take the comfy bed Toby.
- You sleep here princess. I'm right here anyway, try to sleep tight okay, i'll just undo the sofa bed.
No negotiations
- Ok then, good night Tob's
She kisses me on the cheek and i walk to the living room.
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The both tried to sleep but they felt lonely without each other. Spencer didn't feel any safer without him next to her, and Toby didn't sleep better without her screaming.
He just looked at the ceiling for an hour or so.
His phone suddenly ring
" I miss you
S-"
" Miss you too"
He could just go to her room to tell her this, but he doesn't. He wants to give her the place she needs
Spencer doesn't understand why she feels like this. She actually thought it would be better but, no. That why she texted him, she was hoping for him to come and hold her until she falls asleep
Of course he's not coming. The last time he tried to hold you, you freaked out Spencer
Her brain has a point on this.
He's one door away, but it feels like a million miles away for some strange reason. She don't know why, but all of a sudden. She wanted him. Right now, she wants to feel close to him.
Fuck you Wren! She said to herself
You don't get to ruin my life, or my sex life for that matter
She knows he's up, so gets out of her room and slowly walk to the couch/bed.
- Spence, go back to sleep. He says in a tired voice
- I want you. She whispers
- What ? No Spencer you're not in-
- I want to feel close to you again Toby.
- You're not ready. Last night you couldn't even-
- Please Toby, i need this.
- I don't want to be the reason you cry again. I can't see you cry, it makes me f-
She interrupts him with a kiss. Right now she wants to forget everything. Wren, A-, her actual life... She just wants to be with him again
Toby doesn't respond to the kiss, he thinks, about everything and then, she pulls away.
He can see that she looks disappointed, he can see that she wants this, it's not just because of the fight earlier.
She starts to get up because of his "non-kissing back" act but he pulls her back on the couch and kisses her.
He hadn't kissed her like this in ages. It's weird, every passionate kiss they're having feels like the best one, the right one, the perfect one.
That's when they both realize that when it's the person that you love, the kiss gets better every-time, because it's always perfect.
She gets on top of him and takes his shirt off.
She kissed every inches of his body
She wanted to get the last "sex" she had, out of her head, she wanted her husband, the man she loves in her head. And that's what is happening right now.
She only sees him.
At some point she takes her shirt off too. Toby makes her roll the the side. He kisses her every bruises and scars
"I'm sorry does it hurt?"
" No please, keep going"
She moans a bit. She feel so loved unlike last time. She feels desired no matter what happens when it's Toby next to her.
They keep kissing like this until Spencer takes all of her clothes off.
" Are you really sure ? We can sto-" again, she interrupts him with a passionate kiss while taking off the boxer he has on.
They made love all night and this time, Spencer wasn't screaming because of the pain she had.
They fell asleep, cuddling on the couch with a large blanket on them.
For once, they were actually sleeping like babies
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Toby's PoV
- Toby! Spencer! Come one! I'm gonna be late if you don't wake up
- Sweetie we have plenty of time. Spencer says while stretching and moaning
- It's 7.54
- Oh shit! We both say in sync.
Grace go get your stuff meet us at the car.
She goes to her room and we sneak out of the couch to our's to get some clothes on.
Shit, we made laundry before dinner and forgot to make it dry
- Spencer do you happen to have a shirt of mine somewhere ?
- Alllllll in the washer. I only have this.
She hands me her bathrobe with "Spencer" written in pink letters
- Really ? I say laughing
- This or nothing, you choose Cavanaugh
- You're driving then, and we come back here afterwards ^^
I put on her robe and heads to the car with Spencer.
.......
- We're late now. Grace says as we park to her school
- We know and we're sorry. We'll write you a note if your teacher wants one.
Love you <3
We say as we give her a kiss on the forehead.
She gets out of the car and asks
"Why were you sleeping in the living room anyway? And why are you wearing this Toby ? "
Spencer looks at me with love and answers
"Grown up stuff, now go if you don't want to get in trouble"
"Gross" Grace says before running to the portal of the big school.
We start laughing as she goes away
" She is wayy to smart it scares me" i say
" I'm not even surprised anymore" Spencer adds.
We go back home and I manage to find a proper outfit for the day.
I go back to the kitchen and Spencer asks me
- Coffee?
- Yes please
I get behind her and kiss her neck
- Thank you for last night.
- No, thank you . She giggles
I really needed this
- You're amazing do I tell you this enough?
- One more can't hurt.
She turn around and i lean in
*vrrrrr vrrrrr* says the phone on the table
I look up
- Shit, i have like 4 missed called from Em'
- Is it bad ? Spence asks with concern
- What is ?
- I don't know, usually when someone calls you 4 time there is always a problem.
I listen to the voicemail she left
" Hey Toby, no big deal but we have something important to tell everyone. Meet us at Hanna and Caleb's with Spence okay ?"
That's weird, she still has this weird voice she had when she told me the police refused to let them search the building. I must imagining it.
- So?
- We have to go to Caleb's now. They have big news or something
- Good or bad ?
- Couldn't tell honestly, the words seemed "good" but her voice said "bad"
- Let's go then.
____________________
We arrive and everyone is waiting for us in the living room. Hanna looks good, better than 10 days ago, so does Caleb. They seem, peaceful.
Emily seems really worried, but she tries to hide it. I can tell. She had the same look the night of the prom in 2010. She's hiding something but what?
Ali, Aria and Ezra seem excited. Not that excited but they found something good
- Sit down guys, we have something to show you. Ezra and Aria tell us
- So, we lied. Ali adds
- About what ? I ask
- We told you we couldn't search the building because of the cops.
We lied. We did, and found something actually
- When ?! Caleb and I say in a surprised voice
- The night after it happened.
- Why didn't you tell us?! Gosh you promi- i start to yell a bit without being aggressive
- We thought it would be good for you to rest a bit. And we were right. Look at you four, you look happier than the last time we saw you
She has a point
- What did you find ? Why did we meet here anyway ?
- We were getting to it. Aria answers before Ali could
Caleb, do you still know how to hack computers ?
- Hum, i guess so why?
- We found a secret hole with this *she pulls something out of her purse* inside.
- Wow that's... old.
- I know, it must be like 10 years old. Aria continues
- 7. Emily adds. It's from 2013
- How can you be sure? I ask, surprised that she'd know such a thing
- I hum, i worked at an electronic shop that summer remember ?
Ok she's totally lying, we all know she wasn't working in 2013. Am I really the only one who notices this ?
- Anyway, i know it's old but it's locked. Do you think you can unlock it ?
- Sure but it's gonna take a while. Do you have the charger or something ?
- Of course. Here.
- Ok i'll start.
He turns on the computer and try two or three things
"It's a number password. Should be easy to crack"
- Wait. Emily exclaims
I've learned something in prob' once. To find a number combination you don't know.
Let me try something
She takes the computer and press 6 numbers.
"Wow, it actually worked! "
- How. How did you?
We all ask, VERY surprised
- Sometimes, you just feel that these are the right numbers, but i gotta say, this is the first time it actually worked.
She fakes a laugh
- Well, thanks. I'm gonna get the driver to copy the files just in case.
Guys, look what's inside meanwhile.
Spencer goes and sits next to Hanna to go through the computer. I follow them but Emily asks me
" Hey, Can i talk to you somewhere private? "
" Sure, kitchen"
I follow her and say
- So, what do you know ?
- Why should I know anything ? I don't know anything. She scratches her head
- Em' come on, you've been acting weirdly over the past 10 days. And you are the one who wanted to talk to me. I point out
- You're right who Am I kidding. She laughs nervously
Do you think they noticed me ?
- No they are preoccupied right now. So, what is the problem. Are you okay Em?
- Toby... I think I know who A- is...