Here's Artemis trying to be sentimental, which just looks mental
On an unrelated topic I just sneezed on my knee.
*(2020) edited this chapter
Ryou's hands felt clammy and his jaw clenched tightly, his phone against his ear, his gaze out the window, and his heart beating hard and fast in his chest.
"Please, please...pick up...please pick up...."
Melvin hadn't given Ryou his own phone number, so Ryou had no choice but to hope he still kept the one he gave him. He called and called again and again. He didn't hear it ringing through the house, so he assumed the Melvin had it with him.
Finally he heard a voice, and Ryou drew in a sharp breath.
Then the voice said, "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
He grunted and decided to leave his voicemail. "Mel---?" He remembered not to call him that in public. "Mariku? Where are you? I can't find you anywhere. You've left no note, you didn't tell me about where you've gone! This isn't funny!"
He waited a moment, realizing that not only did he sound so very clingy and invasive—he was doing it again.
This is exactly what he went through before. His ear at the phone, panic and worry in his chest. "Please come back" under his breath. "Please don't leave me alone."
Ryou wasn't going to lose someone again because of this.
"Look, if you've run off, then that's fine. I just worry that you're in some kind of danger. I don't doubt that you could handle it, but it doesn't make me worry any less. I..." Ryou wrinkled the bottom of his shirt and crumbled it in his sweaty palms. "...I care about you, that's all. Listen...I..." he breathed again.
For a moment he expected a response, but then he remembered it was voicemail.
"You're welcome back if you feel like it. Call me back when you can."
And he set the phone back down on the windowsill with a shaky hand.
Ryou stood for a moment, looking out the window with watery eyes. He blinked any tears away, but that didn't choke down the fear that Melvin could be in trouble—or, more realistically, leaving for good.
He tried to convince himself that Melvin could handle himself in any given situation, which was probably true...aside from the fact that he only accepted Ryou's hospitality because he was locked out of his apartment.
Melvin wants nothing to do with me anymore. I shouldn't have acted like I knew better about his problems...
Continuing about was the only course of action left, Ryou knew, so he decided to painfully wait it out. If Melvin wanted to come back, he would.
He jumped when his phone started to ring.
Ryou rejoiced and didn't hesitate to answer the call—he put the phone to his ear and began to ramble. "Where are you? Are you okay? Are you safe?"
"I'm fine, actually." A husky voice that was absolutely not Melvin's spoke, and Ryou could almost hear his sneer. Bakura said, "I'm assuming you're surprised?"
"Why do you have my phone?" Ryou's heart lodged itself beside his stomach and tried not to shake. "I gave this to Mariku. Why do you have it?"
"Oh, hush up, I haven't seen him. How the bloody hell should I know where he is?"
"I don't understand...how do you have my phone?"
"Melvin wanted his phone back from me, so we traded. Didn't he tell you?"
No, he didn't. "I didn't ask." Ryou bit his lip. "Why'd you want it?"
Bakura scoffed. "You ask so many bloody questions, don't you?"
Ryou didn't say anything. In the pause, Bakura sighed.
"I need a favor. From you specifically. You'd blocked my number, so...I figured you wouldn't be thrilled if I tried to talk to you in person."
"I didn't block you," Ryou said, "You blocked me."
Bakura turned awkwardly silent. Ignoring it, he said, "I didn't want to ask you, believe me, but you're the only person I could turn to."
"Oh, wonderful," Ryou paced uncomfortably. "Glad you finally want to talk."
Then Bakura said the strangest thing. "Walk with me."
Ryou froze. "I beg your pardon?"
"Meet me at the park today. Noon."
"What for?"
"Will you stop bloody asking—!" he barked, but then he sighed. "...so we can walk."
Then he hung up, leaving Ryou filled with dread and confusion.
***
It was noon, and Ryou waited around for Bakura to show up. He thought he left this behind, waiting around for him to return. This time, he said he would come. And there was no surplus amounts of food or tea to distract himself with.
When Bakura arrived, Ryou feel odd. He was dressed in black jeans and a black jacket, and his shirt was striped with white and blue.
Ryou, on the other hand, was dressed in light blue jeans and a blue sweater, and also a striped shirt of blue and white.
To ease the tension, Ryou said, "Looks like one of us is gonna have to change." But he didn't smile.
Bakura refrained from telling him to shut his ass up and pulled a box of cigarettes from his pocket. He offered one to Ryou.
"No, thank you," he said, and then, "You're gonna Die from those."
"That's what I'm counting on," Bakura said before he took one, lit it, and let it hang from his mouth.
They began to leisurely stroll through the park, passing trees and rocks. Their shoes hit gravel and Bakura's cigarette smoke made Ryou choke down a cough.
"So, what are we doing here?"
"We're walking."
Ryou pursed his lips. "That's it?"
"What's wrong?" Bakura glanced from the corner of his eye. "Were you expecting something?"
"I dunno, perhaps an...explanation? For that favor you were talking about?"
Bakura sneered. "You're not even going to pretend like it's the old times?"
"The old times." Ryou repeated, almost laughing. "You're the one who ended them."
"No harm in pretending."
Ryou shrugged. "I suppose."
Bakura blew out more smoke. "How's your new flatmate?"
"Missing. If you haven't figured that out, yet."
"Ah, right." He scratched the back of his head. "I don't know where he is. You might want to check at that one diner, downtown. He really likes the fries, there."
"Thank you, but I'm not going to look for him." Ryou crossed his arms. "If he wants to come back, he will."
Bakura raised a brow at him.
"I learned that from you."
"Yeah, I heard that dramatic monologue of yours," he took a drag. "You're getting significantly less clingy. Good for you."
Ryou wanted to hit him. He wasn't strong enough, so he didn't try, but he wanted to.
"You think Mel's in some sort of trouble?"
"I dunno, maybe." Ryou looked at him. "You know him better than I do."
Bakura winced—Ryou couldn't tell if it was about the one night stands or something worse, because there was something that glossed over Bakura's eyes that he unsettled him.
"He could be. I know he owes the complex a lot of money." He settled on that answer before switching gears, "But you give me too much credit. That bastard would do anything for you."
Ryou laughed out loud this time, turning away to hide his disbelief and blush. "You're only saying that to make me feel better."
"Whatever you say..." then he thought, and added, "Creampuff, was it?"
It sounded weird coming from not-Melvin, but Ryou didn't say anything.
"His fondness of you fascinates me. You seem like polar opposites, but you're similar in a lot of ways, as well."
Ryou frowned. "What does that have to do with anything? Mariku doesn't—"
"Why're you still calling him that? You know his name." Bakura's words rode the smoke. "And he picked such a weird...his brother's name is Marik. He really just stuck a 'u' at the end?"
"He has a brother?"
Maybe Ryou didn't know as much as he thought.
"Oh, yeah. And a sister and another brother."
Ryou gaped. Why did he go to me for help if he has a family?
"What about his parents?"
Bakura went quiet again, that same wince that left Ryou with more questions than answers.
"That'll be a conversation for you two eventually. If you last that long."
"If we last?" Ryou shook his head. "There's no we. It's just him and me. But not really an 'and'. Just...us. But we're not—"
Bakura laughed, this time, looking at Ryou and laughing. "Calm down, I was teasing." He coughed a little on the smoke. "You're already in denial."
Ryou faced away again, blushing hard on his pale face.
"But seriously," Bakura said, "Are you two a thing?"
Ryou said nothing, Bakura asked again, "You and Mariku. Are you a couple?
"No."
"Oh, okay," Bakura nodded before sneering again. "I never thought of you to be the kind of guy who does one night stands, but—"
"What?! No!" Ryou covered his face with hands. "Nothing of the sort!!!"
Bakura snickered. "I know, I know..."
They began to walk along the bridge and let it creak beneath their feet.
He couldn't understand it. Bakura had never wanted any contact with Ryou until today. He was at the point of being friendly. Well, Bakura wasn't a friendly guy, but it was his own special way of trying, Ryou assumed. The only question now was why.
"I'm sure you didn't bring me out here to question my relationship with Mariku."
"Well, yes," Bakura seemed to fumble over the thought in his mind. "And no."
Ryou stopped walking and leaned against the railing of the bridge. It moved ever so slightly against his weight, but not by a lot. He watched as Bakura leaned too, moving the railing just a little farther. He avoided eye contact, though. Both his eyes and the tip of his cigarette faced away from Ryou.
"I'm happy for you. Even though you don't want to admit it." Bakura let his cig fall from his mouth and into the water below, where Ryou began to silently pray for the little fishies.
"It's good to know someone knows what they're feeling."
"Bakura?"
He let out a sigh and decided to start. "Ryou, tell me how you got Mariku to love you back."
"I..." Ryou was skeptical of how to respond. Just last night, Melvin broke down and talked of how much he hated Bakura and what he'd done to him. How he made him feel. The heartache and abandonment that he left him with. "...I'm not sure if he—"
"Don't get modest. He'd kill for you. I witnessed that the other night."
Drawing in sharp breaths, Ryou thought of an answer.
"Just answer this, then." Bakura finally turned and faced him, but his eyes looked solemn and tired. "Do you feel the same about him?"
And Ryou answered, "He left. How I feel doesn't matter."
"He probably left to chase a butterfly; I doubt it was because of you."
Ryou felt a sting at this particular remark. He almost. Bakura, of all people, should've known why he shouldn't've taken it so lightly.
His voice was hardly a croak, but was still audible. "You left because of me."
Bakura had expected Ryou to bring this up, and he found no pleasure in talking about it. "You're still upset?"
"Yes."
He turned his head to crack his neck and release the tension. "See here, its flattering that you still think of me, but let it go, yeah?"
"I'm breaking up with you. That's all you had to say," Ryou hated that he couldn't fight the way he sounded when he was about to start crying. "You don't tell me everything I've done wrong as you walk out the door, leaving me all alone, having that be the only thing I think about for months."
"Oh, what do you want to hear? An apology for the truth?" His hand clutched the bridge edge. "Is that why you're still here, and not home?"
"Not all of us can come and go as we please. I'm waiting for the lease to end—...and..." Ryou looked at the lake. "My parents divorced. They don't have enough money to help me out, and I can't really pick sides right now."
Even Bakura took a step back. It was the second time he'd seen Ryou get angry, so he wasn't going to mess with a power he didn't understand.
"I'm trying to move and get my own place. Living in London isn't cheap."
"Oh." Bakura wasn't sure how to respond, except with, "I'm sorry."
"Yeah. It's alright." Even though it wasn't.
In that moment, it was as if it really was the old times. Bakura's eyes caught the light, making them look brown and slightly a tangerine color. His eyebrows raised to the point where he looked much less bitter. This look was entrancing, almost. Ryou realized this was the look he'd loved before.
"I don't mean to fight, or mislead you in any way," Bakura sighed, his head crashing into his hand that held his bangs. "You're the only person I could think of that I could talk to about this."
"About what?"
"Uh..."
Then he waited for an answer.
"...that...one...thing."
"I can't help you unless you be more specific."
He shuffled his feet, considering reaching into his pocket for another cig. "It...starts with an L."
Ryou huffed. "That doesn't help."
"Ends with E."
"Bakura, just tell me."
"Second letter is O."
Then it clicked; Ryou's face lit up. "Love?"
Bakura sighed in relief. "Yeah. That."
Ryou nodded, trying to wrap his head around the fact. He said, "You love someone.", and it came out more statement than question.
Bakura stiffened. "Well, I haven't said 'I love you' or anything like that..." even the pretend words felt unreal in his mouth. "...I mean, we're not even an official item or anything like that..."
"But you love them."
He bit his cheek, looking down at the pond. "Yeah. I guess I do."
Ryou decided to check his surroundings, spotting the afternoon sun setting ever so slightly. It might've been a romantic setting, with the leaves and petals falling from the trees, the chill that pulls people closer together, and a bridge over clear, sparkling pond. Bakura looked uncomfortable, but Ryou figured he might need to get used to it if he wants to travel down this path. Ryou asked, "Who do you have in mind?"
The bridge made a long, eerie, and awkward creak as Bakura shifted his weight. "I..." he looked for the right way to phrase what he wanted to say. "...remember that one bloke I had over a couple times?"
The one you cheated on me with? Ryou pressed his lips together. "Is it that one bloke with the tan? And the bleached hair?"
"It is natural, first off. It's not—" but when he saw Ryou's face he realized he walked right into that one. "His name's Marik."
Ryou's half-smile turned into a frown. "That...wouldn't happen to be Melvin's...?"
Bakura winced—painfully, this time.
Ryou's eyes widened. "Bakura...you didn't..."
"Oh, sod off. What do you want me to say? I cut things off with Melvin. And Marik and I...we're not together. He won't even admit he's gay."
"Now I'm just confused." Ryou thought of Melvin, who felt so used and betrayed. He felt angry for him. "You and Marik are...whatever you are. But you and Melvin happened first?" All this while we were together?
"I'm not proud, Ry. I'll give you that at least." Bakura hadn't called him 'Ry' in months. "I didn't know what I was looking for. I don't know why I did it."
"...but?"
There was something to Bakura's smile that Ryou had never seen before, at least not while they were together. It was involuntary, to start with, and he looked happy. Not an I-killed-a-puppy-with-no-remorse smile, but more of an I-feel-as-if-I-will-pick-daisies kind of smile.
"I just..." he seemed to be unable to find the words to express himself. "Marik is...I've never felt this way...about anyone."
Ryou exhaled through his nose, trying to keep from letting his aching heart take over his thoughts. He wanted to cry, yeah, and yell and whatnot. But if he told Melvin to forgive, he'd have to as well.
"Have you told him, Bakura?"
He shook his head. "I'm worried I might scare him away. I've done that before."
"Then do something friendly, for a start. Get some ice cream, or play a board game or something."
"A board game." Bakura repeated, unimpressed, itching to say something mean but deciding against it.
"It doesn't seem like that much, but it's good to start. Just something one on one, where you can simply coexist and not focus on things that aren't each other." Ryou didn't know why Bakura was asking him. He was the one who told Ryou that he was uninteresting, boring, and inattentive to feelings. "You can't overwhelm him with romantics if he hasn't figured himself out yet."
"So...why?"
"Because if you don't give him time to think of how he feels about you, then he might not take a chance on you."
"What? I have to let him think? We wouldn't want him hurting himself—"
"That." Ryou pointed. "That right there is what you need to stop doing."
"I make fun of people all the time."
"If you care, you have to make an exception." He dared to step closer and fix Bakura's hair, stroking it a bit to make it neater. Then he adjusted his collar and fixed his shirt."
Bakura was dumbfounded. "What the hell are you doing now?"
"You might want to make an attempt to look nicer. Marik might not approve if you look like—"
"Finish that sentence and it will be your last."
Ryou quickly silenced himself and stepped back.
Bakura smoothed out his shirt again, but then he quickly apologized.
"Your threats might have to go too." Ryou smiled, although he had tried not to shake. "I'm not telling you to change who you are, but you might want to clean up your bad habits. That's all."
And it was just like that, Bakura had to turned to leave. There was no send off, no goodbye, and not even a thank you.
Ryou frowned. "Oh, thank you, Ryou. You really didn't have to come out all this way to help the guy who abandoned you or anything."
Then Bakura turned and shot him a glare. "Tell me something," he then started to walk back toward him, making Ryou stiffen. "Why are you doing this for me? I've ruined your life and you're here. Why?"
Ryou didn't even know. He shrugged.
"You didn't hope that we'd...well, get back together...did you?"
There was a moment of silence before Ryou said, "Not really."
Bakura scowled at him. "Is this one of your acts of kindness, then? A good deed for the needy?"
"I dunno. Closure?"
"...oh," Bakura crossed his arms, lessening on the offense. "I guess that's fair."
"And I worry about you. As a person who once cared about you a lot."
"Well, stop that. I can take care of myself."
Ryou knit his brow, saying, "You called your ex-boyfriend for advice about telling another guy how you feel."
Bakura looked away again.
Ryou decided to elaborate. "You can hop from place to place, from person to person, and that's how you live and I can't do anything about it. But you're hurting people around you, and eventually you'll hurt yourself." Ryou thought he would stop there, but he couldn't. "I guess it's not really my place to say what you put Melvin through. But I can tell you that it is nearly identical to what you put me through—and it hurts like hell."
Bakura's face was empty while Ryou spoke. Not once did he blink.
"So when you talk about a guy, a guy that isn't confident about who to love yet, you better be bloody certain that you have your emotions sorted out. Because if you back out and change your mind, that's another life you might've ruined." Ryou knew that this wasn't kind, but this was what he needed to hear. "That's not to say that I'm not happy that you've found someone that you might genuinely love in the long run. But love isn't about you or how you feel—it's a constant effort. A choice."
"You seem to care rather easily," Bakura said, "Isn't that how you manage?"
Ryou shook his head. "When you kept disappearing, I was giving the effort to hang on. To wait for you at the kitchen table, until it got too late and I went to bed. If you gave the effort, it could've lasted. Who knows?" he looked away this time. "When you left for good, I was exhausted. And what I thought was love had faded when I had nothing to give effort to."
Bakura frowned before stepping toward the railing of the bridge. "So what are you saying? That it's hopeless?"
"You being right here? You're already trying to get this to work for you and him. I can tell you love him quite a bit." Ryou's roll was dying down. He simply breathed, trying to piece together all that had happened. "It just worries me that you'll break another heart." Now he needed a good closing line for that epic speech. "So, be good. That's all."
Welp.
It was dead quiet afterwards. Surprisingly, Bakura did nothing.
Well, not nothing.
He hugged him.
And Ryou stood there, unsure of what to do. He lifted up his arms and hugged back, but much more loose than Bakura hugged him.
"Ra," Bakura muttered, and Ryou could tell he was smiling. "This is making me uncomfortable."
"You don't have to hug me."
Then Bakura let go.
"Sorry."
"Don't be."
Then Bakura reached for another cigarette and lit it, taking a drag and blowing more smoke. That reminder made Ryou happy that he hadn't kissed him or something.
"You might be in denial about it, but," Bakura managed some sort of soft smile, a gentle tug at the corner of his mouth. "Melvin...he hurts more than he cares to admit. You're good for him. You'd be good together."
Ryou just nodded. Don't get my hopes up like that. I don't even know where he is.
"Goodbye, Ryou."
"Goodbye."
Then he was off.
Then he was hit with a sudden realization as he glanced at the evening sky. All that was left to do was find out if Melvin wanted to come home.
Super long but I'm not down to preview it rn
If you're ever bored feel free to read the tags of this story