"Whatever this is that's going on between us, let's end it."
It echoed in my head like thunder.
"What?! What are you talking about?!" I shouted in panic.
I couldn't help it. It was so sudden! I didn't know why she said it.
"Take the USB and leave, Alyssa. Let's pretend all these did not happen."
I stepped towards her but she stepped back. I flinched. What the hell was going on?
"I don't understand," I said with forced calmness. "Where is this coming from?"
She wasn't looking at me. It was as if she was struggling to say those things to me.
"I'm cutting off all your attachments to me so just go. Please," she begged. There was a quiver in her voice.
I clenched my jaw and took the box from her. She looked up and I saw that she was hurting.
I dropped the box on the floor. Her eyes widened in surprise.
"I have already almost forgotten about that recording. Honestly, I don't care about it anymore. What I want to know is why you're doing this," I said firmly.
She didn't answer. I lost my cool.
"Damn it, Mika! Tell me why!" I shouted.
"Because I like you!"
My heart started racing and it seemed like it was about to explode. She said she likes me. She likes me. God, why was I not kissing her yet?
"Gustong-gusto kita, Alyssa."
I was confused why there was a sad smile playing on her lips and why her eyes were glassy. It was hurting me.
The happiness it gave me when she said she likes me was short lived because of that tension in the air.
"If you like me then why are you cutting your ties off with me?"
"Because I want you to be happy," she said firmly. "It's not too late for you and Den, Alyssa. You can still get her back. Ayokong makagulo."
"If this about last night and Den-"
"No, Alyssa. It's not just that," she cut me off. "Don't waste your time on me. I'm not worth it." She smiled sadly again.
I stepped towards her and enclosed her in my arms hastily. I hugged her way too tight I was probably hurting her. But she did not stop me. I was so angry at her and she knew. I had to let my frustrations out and I chose to hug her close to me. Painfully.
"I'm the one who gets to decide who I want to spend my time with," I started to whisper harshly in her ear. "Just so you know, I like you, too. Very much. And I want to spend my time with you. You're worth every nanosecond of my time."
I felt my shoulders getting wet.
"Hindi mo dapat sinabi 'yun, Ly. Now it will be even harder and more painful for me to let go," she sobbed.
I pulled back and cupped her face. I stared at her eyes, trying to make her see just how damn serious I was.
"I'm not going and I'm not letting you go."
I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't thinking. The words just flew out of my mouth from the bottom of my heart. Oh, fuck it. The heart wants what it wants and my heart wanted Mika.
I won't let go.
She covered her face with her hands and cried even harder. My heart broke and all my anger slowly diminished. I didn't want to see her cry. I pulled her back to me. Softly, this time. I held her. I let her cry.
"M-masasaktan lang kita, Ly," she cried.
I sighed. "I know we'll probably end up hurting each other but I just can't stay away from you now," I admitted.
It was hard to imagine us being together or staying together for a long time because the world is unfair so I really knew we would end up hurting each other one way or another. But it didn't have to be right then. I'll prolong our separation for as long as I could.
She stepped back. "You don't understand, Ly. Masasaktan lang kita," she said firmly.
She was certain. It was in her voice. It reflected in her eyes. I saw the agony. I saw the guilt. The tears that kept falling from her eyes expressed her apology.
"Why?" I whispered.
Her tears started falling faster.
"I-I-.... I c-can't, Ly. I'm sorry. So sorry."
She covered her face again and it felt as if she was already feeling the pain she said she was about to cause me. I hurt too.
I closed my eyes. I considered for a moment if that was a sign for me to try to get back together with Den. If it was God's way of showing me a way out of the mess I was in with Mika. But just the thought of leaving Mika, of not talking to her again, of not seeing her, of not being beside her, felt like a million stabs to my heart.
I walked towards her and hugged her again. I pushed her head to my shoulder softly and I kissed the top of her head.
If she couldn't tell me yet, it was fine. I didn't have to know. It didn't matter because...
"Then I guess I'm gonna get hurt."
She looked up with wide eyes. I smiled softly.
"Ly, I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm willing to get hurt if it means I get to be with you."
She gasped. I finally leaned to kiss her. Her lips tasted salty because of her tears but it was not enough to overpower how sweet she was. I started moving my lips against her softly. She hesitated but she kissed me back after a few beats.
When I was out of breath, I pressed my forehead against hers and caressed her cheek lovingly.
"I'm not taking the USB. And we're not separating or letting go, understood?" I said firmly.
She hesitated and I glared at her before claiming her mouth harshly and biting her lower lip lightly. She flinched.
"Understood?" I asked again.
She nodded still with hesitation but it was enough for me.
I grazed her lips with my thumb.
"I don't know what you did to me or how but... you've bewitched me."
Her eyes widened again and her cheeks started turning red. She put her arms around my waist.
"And you're making me selfish," she said.
I got confused. Selfish? Jealous?
"Were you jealous of Den?" I asked.
She turned even redder and avoided my gaze. She hid her face at the crook of my neck.
I let out a deep breath. All these started by that?
I chuckled exasperatedly.
"I know I've had moments where I kinda got jealous pero mas malala ka pala, Babe, when you get jealous."
She hugged me tighter.
"I told you, it's not just that," she whispered.
And the dreadful feeling was there again. I wanted to get rid of it. I wanted to just get past our problem. I steered away from that.
"Well, in any case, I just want to make this clear. It's alright to get jealous but it's not alright to separate. Got it?"
She moved back and seemed to be searching for something in my eyes. I held her gaze steadily.
"Ly, I'm giving you one last chance to go or we're both doomed," she said gloomily.
I smirked. "I'm not going."
She sighed in resignation before cupping my face.
"Alyssa Valdez, I..."
I saw it in her eyes. I felt it in her touch. I tasted it on the kiss she gave me.
I love you, she meant.
"Mika Reyes, I..."
I gazed at her lovingly. I held her softly. I kissed her passionately.
I love you, too, I meant.
I don't know since when. I don't know how much. I don't know for how long. All I know is that I already do.
I love her.
I'll be damned. I'm actually in love with Mika Reyes.
END OF CHAPTER.
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Author's notes: Just a short one to give myself a break from dying. Hahahahaha. 😭😭😭 Let me know what you think please! Para ganahan naman ako magsulat. Char. Magpapahinga pa ako.
And woohoo! Panalo ang UP! Hahahaha. Sa mga LS fans, okay lang yan. Pati naman ALE tatalunin ng UP eh. 😂😂✌&❤