A/N: frick, the first like 10 chapters are SO. BAD. IM SO SORRY LMFAO i'm re-writing them, i promise, but plzzzz bear with the bad writing --' thank u <3
graphic warning: some parts later in this chapter are gory/graphic. read at your own discretion.
~~~~~
[f]
The warm summer air was filled with excited chattering. A small group of young soldiers spoke cheerfully among themselves as they looked upon their new cloaks with spellbound awe. An overlapping pair of wings; one blue, and the other a white. Eren Yeagar, in particular, seemed to be the most animated, running his fingertips over the stitching proudly.
Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert stood beside him, holding their own cloaks. The glisten in their eyes was just as jubilant; although they shared a subconscious thought for the true purpose of their division, they were happy to have finally found a purpose. They would proudly don the Wings of Freedom. Several other young men and women stood beside them, nervously trying on their cloaks.
Although there was a collective familiarity that surrounded the group as if they were a family, there was an individual who stood a small ways away, hidden under the shade of a tree. Her back leaned against the thick trunk, and she held her own cloak as well. It bore the same symbol as the others.
She threw a longing gaze to the group of excited soldiers, a strange sense of yearning tugging at her gut. But she tore her eyes away and sighed, slipping the cloak over her shoulders. There was no point in brooding over such trivial matters. Turning away from the group, she headed to the training grounds beside the small clearing where the people stood.
A tall wooden log with stubs jutting out from its body stood tall from the ground—a training dummy. Shifting with the new weight around her shoulders, she slid one foot back, crouched, and raised her fists.
She pounded one against one stub, causing it to spin around, almost hitting her in the head before she ducked and landed a roundhouse kick to the middle of the stump. It cracked in half, flying and rolling away in the direction of the group of newbie soldiers. The top part flew and nearly nailed Eren's head, the bottom rolling towards him. He leapt over it just in time and whipped his head to look at Chi in disbelief. The rest of the group followed suit, eyes widening when they spotted the two pieces of shattered wood.
"Oi! Chi! What was that for?!" Eren shouted, his face flushed.
"I'm sorry!" she apologized sheepishly, waving a hand. "I didn't mean to do that." Jean, a tall ash blonde, smirked from behind Eren.
"What a shame," he commented. "It totally should've hit you." Eren turned to glare at Jean, irritated, and they began quarreling. Mikasa intervened and ended the dispute quickly.
Chi watched the ordeal with a sigh, staring back at the others who proceeded to stare at her. They were rather astonished to find that her kick was powerful enough to destroy the training dummy - although these feats of strength were not stranger to them when they were wee recruits. She looked at them exasperatedly, raising a palm in question. They quickly resumed conversation and turned away from her, allowing her to focus on her sparring once more.
This time, she closed her eyes and imagined an opponent. With a slight bend in her knees and her heels digging into the dirt, she threw punches forward and swung her arms. Once she raised them to block her imaginary opponent from landing a jab to her face. She dodged swift kicks and delivered some of her own. Her body twisted and turned, flipped and bent, to defeat the illusion.
But soon, Chi became quite tired. Not physically - she became tired of the lack of a challenge. This wasn't nearly enough. She needed a real opponent - a strong opponent, one that could maintain a good and healthy fight. As recruits, she often sparred against Mikasa, and it never took long until Chi was able to take her down.
"Seems like we've got a decent one this year," a bored voice mused from behind Chi. She spun around, coming face to face with someone she recognized as "humanity's strongest," a man who went by the name of Levi. She immediately straightened her back and spread her feet apart, tucking her left arm behind her back with the back of her right fist on her chest where her heart was.
"Corporal Levi!" she saluted.
Levi scoffed. "You made it into the Survey Corps," he scorned. "There's no need for you to kiss ass anymore. Fake, shitty people aren't needed around this hellhole, anyways."
Chi dropped her arms and slackened her posture, her eyes of molten gold flashing in slight perturbation. "Yes, sir."
Levi stared at Chi for a cold, hard moment. "What's your name, newbie?"
"Matsumoto—Chisaki Matsumoto, but please call me Chi."
Levi's eyebrows twitched. Narrowing his eyes, he studied her closely,
Auburn hair cascaded down her back in straight locks, her bangs pushed back against the side of her face. As for her eyes, they were a sunflower-like color that shone brightly with the light reflecting from the sun. Her face was sunkissed from her years of training in the hot, unforgiving sun. Full, rosey lips were carved into her face.
"Since you snapped that training log in half," Levi said nonchalantly.
Chi's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You don't normally spectate on new Survey Corps members, do you?"
"I'm talking about your skills," he trailed, his voice thick and calculating.
"Yes? And what about them?"
Although his demeanor seemed rather careless, there was an edge to Levi's voice. "They're far more impressive than many you get around here."
"So?" Chi scoffed. "What of it?"
Levi's lips curled back into a slight frown. "Why did you join the Survey Corps? You do realize you could be within the safety of the innermost walls if you'd joined the Military Police?"
"That's not what I want. I joined the Survey Corps for my own reason."
Levi's eyes flashed; he had found what he was looking for. "And what is that reason?"
"I want to destroy every single titan," Chi spoke valiantly, "and I want to save humanity. It won't matter if I throw away my life. I've trained for five years for this reason alone—and I know it wasn't all for nothing. I will go outside this cage and destroy what's stopping us from getting our freedom."
Levi wasn't too surprised at such a response; he had expected as much from someone with her character. Chi's tawny eyes blazed with a young determination. He hadn't heard such a reason before... except, maybe from Eren. But then again, Eren was now part-titan, and Chi was only human—though her powers excelled those of a regular human.
"How about we spar?" Levi offered, removing his cloak from his shoulders. "I usually don't get myself involved, but my interest has been piqued."
Chi's jaw dropped. She was appalled; this corporal wanted her to spar with him? Should she have been afraid of him? Should she have refused his offer? Or was this some kind of test to prove her loyalty?
With her own mind still unable to comprehend the reality, she gave a slight disoriented nod and shifted into her stance. Her fists were hesitant when she raised them to her chest. Levi dusted off his shoulders and cracked his neck a few times before copying her.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted the new Corps begin staring and whispering - probably wondering about who would win. There was probably some talk about her insolence as well; her first day as a Survey Corps member, and she was already picking a fight with the head honcho? Regardless of why people were watching, this was most definitely quite the sight to see.
"You got this, Chi!" Sasha, a bright brunette, called. After her, the entire audience began to roar with cheers and jeers.
After a few breathless moments, Chi gave a slight nod, and Levi lunged for her. He aimed a punch straight to her face, not bothering to pull back on his immense strength. Chi blocked it immediately and grabbed his wrist, twisting to the side, and let it slide past her face as she aimed her elbow at his neck. Levi noticed and ducked down, bringing his leg around to clip her in the shins. She was too quick and leapt up, landing a kick in his left shoulder. Levi rolled to the side but rose to his feet quickly, resuming an offensive stance.
Again and again they clashed, without landing any truly successful strikes on one another. Chi could tell from the way Levi flexed his movements that he was holding back against her - but she was holding back against him, as well. It was a reluctant battle. Though they moved fast and together like dancers, there was no end in sight.
After what seemed like an eternity of playing cat and mouse, Chi decided to end it. She ducked under Levi's upcoming arm and twisted around until she was behind him, kicking him right between the legs. He let out a choked cry of pain and fell to his knees, though he was already recovering within a split second. Chi shoved him down onto his back and straddled his waist, pulling up her right hand with only her pointer and middle finger straightened, the rest of her fingers curled; the other was around his neck. She held his arms to the ground with her knees. Levi's eyes widened in surprise as he realized she focused all of her energy into those two fingers.
This move was one Chi had sharpened greatly, training it until she could easily slice her way through thin trees with those two fingers. His almost indifferent expression didn't change as slightly when she brought her fingers down right toward his face, feeling the air rush past him. But... she didn't come. Her fingers had stopped right in between Levi's brows.
Chi's once smooth and calm hair was now tangled and distraught, giving her the look of a wild beast. Her golden eyes glared down at him in defiance, chest heaving with quick and shallow breaths. He was the best opponent she'd ever sparred against... and she loved the sensation of it.
Of fighting.
Climbing off of Levi, Chi leaned over and reached out a hand, smiling warmly. "Thank you for training with me, Captain. I had a lot of fun," she thanked. Levi's brows furrowed in confusion as he took her hand and dusted himself off. His once pure white pants were now covered in dirt and grass stains, twisting his face into a grimace once he spotted the mess..
Chi nearly toppled over as the entire group of new soldiers suddenly enveloped her, each throwing a barrage of questions and shouts.
"Chi! You actually just took down Corporal Levi!" Christa cheered.
"Let's go eat to celebrate!" Sasha suggested.
Chi glanced over curiously at a few men who had surrounded Levi. They were whispering and looking at each other intensely. Without a glance backwards, Chi broke through the crowd and went straight to Levi. Everyone backed away until they were encircling the two, not daring to utter a single word. She felt as if she were an animal kept in a pen to look at for amusement.
She held out her hand, indicating him to shake it. Levi stared at it for a few seconds as if it were something a titan just spit up, but took her hand anyways and shook it slightly.
"Let's do this again sometime," she chirped. "And next time, give it your all." Her eyes flashed mischievously, an eyebrow raising to taunt him. She absolutely loved a good challenge, and Levi was the perfect person to manage that. His usually furrowed eyebrows arched, but he returned her glare perfectly with emotionless gunmetal eyes.
"You've already become quite annoying," he snapped, "but that doesn't mean I'm saying no. I have something to ask of you, as well."
"Hm?" Chi cocked her head inquisitively.
"Your skills show that you will be of great use in the Survey Corps. Will you join the Elite Squadron? Or you can call it the Special Operations Squad, whatever helps you shit better."
Almost immediately, whispers erupted from the crowd around her. Her flaxen eyes widened in shock. How in the world did a fresh graduate like herself receive recognition from someone like Levi? The Elite Squadron was on an entirely different level than the regular Survey Corps unit—and not to mention, they lived in a completely different building than the regular Survey Corps. But this was the perfect chance for her to sharpen her abilities, and she would more likely be able to engage combat with titans.
Without a shred of doubt, Chi nodded in response to the corporal's invitation. Almost immediately, the rest of the graduates swarmed her, cheering and crying out about her first accomplishment as a Survey member. If this much had happened in so little time, what else was there in store?
~~~~~
After dinner, everyone filed out into the house from the dining hall. The sun was setting now, and everyone had finished all of the chores that needed to be done, so now they were headed to their dorms to get ready to sleep. The next day, they would go over their strategy and train in the essentials of avoiding or taking down stray titans.
Chi stayed behind a bit longer to scrub a few tables and tidy up the area a little better. After she finished, she realized that there was only one other person still waiting around - and coincidentally enough, they were doing the same thing she was.
It was Levi.
They made eye contact and he sneered at her, looking away instantly. Chi was momentarily taken aback, but she sighed and finished her cleaning without uttering a word.
She tossed her rag into a bucket of water beside the doorway of the dining hall and made her way out. But where was she to go? She wasn't supposed to stay at the dorms with the rest of her friends because she was now a part of the Elite Squadron. All of the dorms were connected, rounding around in a U-shape around a fountain. Chi sighed and trudged over to the elegant fountain, sitting down on the edge.
She looked at her reflection in the water. Unnerving yellow eyes stared back - just like a predator. Thrusting her hand into the surface, she broke her reflection, ripples destroying the clarity of the mirror. Her heart throbbed with regret every time she looked into her eyes; they were a reminder of the fatal mistakes she'd made, ones that resulted in her absolute failure.
Allowing her eyes to travel to the sky, she stared at the disappearing orange and sunk into her thoughts.
~~~~~
Chi was picking flowers in a field of her home district, Shiganshina. She and her best friend, Maki, was preparing for the wedding of Maki's older sister, Mina, and her fiancée, Sato. It seemed like the brightest day in all of 845, with a beautiful sky and wonderful, warm sunlight. On that day, they were picking white daisies to bring to decorate the wedding.
It was just like any other day, until a tremendous rumble shook the ground and knocked Chi off of her feet. She fell forward, but Maki caught her, the both of them stumbling to catch their balances. Maki stared in horror at the wall before them as a gigantic titan peered over the massive wall, steam rising from every crevice in its body.
Chi could only watch, horrified, as it created a hole in the wall with an earth-shattering kick. The hole in the wall was not what terrified her, though; it was what was entering the wall at that moment. Titans began flooding into Shiganshina, and it was as if the entire world had fallen into ruin at that moment. It was that moment that sealed the fate of every person in that district. Maki pulled Chi's arm, jolting her from her fear.
She dragged Chi with her as they sprinted back to their village, faster than their feet could carry. Chi had been living with Maki, ever since her parents had joined the Survey Corps, only to never return from an expedition. She had always assumed that they were too busy to return, though her memory from that time was particularly unclear.
As soon as they reached the pavilion where the wedding was to take place, Mina and Sato were already gone, running for their lives. The two girls ran in the opposite direction of the wall from the pavilion. The wedded couple had escaped through the town, winding through the destroyed streets aimlessly. Maki and Chi chased after them, screaming their names as trembles continuously shook the earth.
A giant shadow suddenly crossed over Chi—and it was headed right toward Mina and Sato. She then realized that the shadow belonged to a slab of what used to be the roof of a house. Sato noticed it first, his eyes widening in horror as it headed straight for the two. In the blink of an eye, he shoved Mina forward and let the debris crush him. Mina tumbled over her limbs as she was sent flying; she lifted herself wearily, letting out a choked cry when she saw that Sato's legs were pinned beneath the debris. She shakily rose to her feet to run to him, but tripped over her dress once more. Ripping off the lace in haste, she ran toward her husband-to-be.
She collapsed to her knees and held his head in her lap, tears streaming down her cheeks. Sato's face was etched in pain, but he mustered a sad smile as he reached a hand up to hold Mina's cheek. Maki screamed, but Chi's voice was trapped in her throat, unable to cry for them.
She was completely terrified. Her eyes widened in shock and fear as she stared at the pool of blood that began to form around Sato's weakening body. It stained his suit and Mina's dress. He tried pushing her away, thrusting her arms back, but she kept crawling back to his side.
"Go! Run!" he yelled desperately, but Mina vigorously shook her head.
"No! Not without you!" she screamed, clinging onto him. Sobs wracked her body. "I'm not going to leave you here!"
Today was supposed to be the special day where Sato pledged his love to Mina—the day he would promise to live with her forever in happiness.
Why... why did this happen? Why did this have to happen on this day?
"Mina, please! You have to survive," Sato insisted, growing weak. "For me...!"
But it was all for naught.
A seven-meter tall titan came around the corner of the street, its dead, emotionless eyes finding the despairing couple. Maki and Chi froze in their spots. Their blood ran cold.
They scrambled to hide behind a building, praying desperately for it to walk away, praying that it had yet to see them. Chi peeked her head around the corner... and she couldn't tear her eyes away from what began to unfold.
"Sato!" Mina screamed as the titan bent over, picking her up in its grimy hands.
"Mina!" Sato cried, reaching desperately for his bride as she was lifted up into the air. Their hands grasped each other desperately—but it was no match for the titan's strength. Sato refused to let go of her hand. The titan wrenched the both of them up, Sato's legs tearing away with a sickening rip. He screamed, streams of blood flowing endlessly from the stumps of where his legs used to be.
The titan brought the two closer to its mouth, already stained in the blood of its past meals. Sato embraced Mina tightly, his eyes wet with tears. They pressed their lips together. Their bodies entered the titan's mouth, and it clamped down, perfectly separating the two into clean halves. Blood splattered everywhere around its jaw, mixing together as the titan finished off the couple.
Chi nearly screamed out loud, for Maki's sister was just like her own. She had loved her with all of her heart. But that titan... it took it all away. Sato was a kind, humble man who put everyone else before himself.
Why... why did they have to die this way?
Chi spun around to find no one behind her. Her blood ran cold. Where was Maki?
"...Maki?" she called out softly. No answer came from all around her, as the screams and booms echoed through the streets. "Maki! Where are you?!" She ran down the alley and looked around frantically. She kept calling her name as she weaved in and out through the town, refusing to find refuge until she found her one last remaining companion.
Maki was truly all Chi had left—and she couldn't afford to lose her. Especially right after Mina and Sato were taken away so heartlessly.
She spotted the obliterated pavilion where the wedding was to be held, where the chapel used to be—but it was now replaced with a gigantic boulder.
And under it... was Maki. Her entire left side was crushed.
"Maki! No!" Chi screamed, sprinting toward her. Her best friend—on the brink of death.
"No, no, no no no!"
"She couldn't lose her too!"
"She was precious to her."
Chi skidded to a rocky stop when she realized there was another titan now, headed straight in their direction. Maki lifted her head, weakly reaching out a hand toward Chi.
"Chi—sa—ki," she gasped, blood dribbling from the corners of her lips.
"Maki!" Chi tried running faster, but her trembling knees gave out, and she tripped over her own feet, tumbling down the cobblestone road. Pain exploded throughout her entire body and her muscles screamed out in pain. She felt something warm trickle down her forehead, and then to the side of my face. Some got in her mouth and she spit it out, recognizing the rusty taste of blood.
She struggled to get to her feet, but the world was swirling. In her daze, she could see the titan lift the boulder from Maki's unmoving body, casting it aside as if it weighed nothing.
"Ma—Maki! No!" Chi screeched. Her throat hurt from screaming. "Let her go!" She somehow managed to get back on her feet, but she wobbled and the world turned upside down once more. Somehow, she refused to let her body fall and stumbled toward the titan that was now picking up her best friend's limp, crushed body between two fingers.
Her body was turned toward Chi, a horrified, pleading look on her face. She mouthed something, her voice to weak to speak, but Chi couldn't make out what it was. Something white slipped out of her grasp and fell to the ground as Chi watched the titan bring Maki closer to its mouth.
"Maki! No!" Chi cried with the last of her breath as Maki disappeared into the mouth of the Titan. It chewed her mangled body with its wretched jaw, her crimson blood dribbling down its smiling lips.
It hadn't seen Chi yet, and lost interest in its surroundings as it turned around, continuing toward other parts of the district. I felt as if someone had stabbed her in the chest with a knife. She stood, frozen, as a cold hand wrapped itself around her heart. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, hot and wet.
"You'll pay!" she roared, her voice hoarse and sore. Out of the corner of my eye, she spotted the half-eaten body of a soldier. There was a sword in their hand. Dashing over, she yanked it from the fallen soldier and charged at the titan, leaping across the rubble, struggling to climb to the roof of a dilapidated house.
She screamed as she charged toward it. Her body moved unconsciously. Before the titan noticed her presence, she jumped from the roof and thrust her blade into the back of the the titan's neck, running it across its nape before jumping to a roof on the other side of the street. Her landing was uneven and she crashed hard into the stone slabs. The titan stopped moving and plummeted to the ground, a harsh cloud of steam rising from its body.
With godspeed, Chi ran back to the pavilion. She spotted the puddle of blood that belonged to Maki, where she used to lay broken beneath the boulder. There was something laying in it, soaked in that cursed water. Her breath caught in her throat as she neared it, crouching to pick it up, out of the puddle.
It was a small bunch of white daisies, bound together by two small rings. One was gold with a heart engraved in the band. The other was a smooth silver one, the same heart shape engraved into the precious metal. Chi knew exactly what they were; Sato had worked endlessly for months to save up enough money for the blacksmith to make them. It was Mina and Sato's rings.
~The Cursed Memory~