He looked it over a second, before placing it in his already packed bag and swinging a chair around to straddle. I always loved it when people straddled chairs. Josh clasped his hands together, then looked right at me. My eyes flickered down. "Listen, darling . . . I'm not entirely sure that you're going to be able to catch up to our project performance . . ." He let that sit in the air for a second and the way he was acting made me nervous that he was going to make me drop the class or something. I was really looking forward to this class. "I'll tell you what," he said, his voice considerably brighter. "How's about we get Sleeping With Sirens down here to play open mic at Cupcake's, yeah?" Josh stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Next Friday, alright darling?"
I blinked, looked at him, scrunched my face in confusion. Sleeping With Sirens? Performing? I sat there in complete shock. So many thoughts were running through my mind all at once I didn't know what to say first. And what the heck was Cupcake's?
"Wait what?"
It was the first time I'd spoken all day but even though I was completely mortified, Josh didn't seem phased. He turned back to me, winked, then walked out the door.
It took me another ten minutes to sort through the confusion of everything and I still had no answers. How did Josh know about my band? Had he heard our demos? I had no idea at all. But the most important question was; Was he actually going to make me do it?
There was no way that I could. No way. What if my parents found out? I froze.
Oh shit.
My eyes shot to the clock. It was 3:55. It took me ten minutes to walk to school this morning. I jumped out of my seat gathered my things and sprinted out the door, down the sidewalk. I ran steadily the whole way, not caring about how much my scrawny legs ached or about how I couldn't breathe. I just ran as fast as I could, panic almost taking over.
I made it there two minutes late and I wasn't going to lie, I was basically freaking out. I knew that if I looked in the mirror I'd be paler than a cloud. My hands were shaking as I got out my key, but the door flung open before I could unlock it.
"Home late on the first day?" My father stood in the doorway, his arms folded, hip jutting out to the side. That was his pissed stance.
I was pretty sure I heard the slap before I felt it. My mother grabbed my arm and dragged me inside, shoving me to the floor. My father's boot immediately struck my ribs. Hard. I heard the door slam shut as it happened again. Then again, and again until it all blurred away into one huge ball of pain. I knew that my mother was laughing, my father was screaming insults.
I didn't know when it stopped, all I knew was waking up in the same place the next morning. My eyes opened, focused on the wall next to me and all the pain hit me at once. It felt like I was on fire.
My mother walked by and nudged my head lightly, "Get up, Worthless."
I shifted, then groaned, my vision blanking white for a moment. I felt her iron grip on my arm as she yanked my small form to my feet easily. She slammed me against the wall, getting in my face. "I said get up, you idiotic fiend."
I nodded, keeping my teeth tightly clamped over my tongue until I tasted my own blood. There was no way that I could make any pained noises. They hated those.
"Now what did we learn yesterday?" my father asked, coming up to stand behind her with his arms crossed.
I opened my mouth, "N-not-"
My mother shook me against the wall, "Don't stutter you babbling little prick!"
I swallowed, took as deep of a breath as I could without it hurting. "To come home on time." My voice shook but I didn't stutter and my parents seemed satisfied with my answer. My father opened the door and mother shoved me outside. I tripped down the steps, felt my backpack land on my legs, then heard the door slam shut. I jumped at the noise, then clambered to my feet before they could change their mind and figure out something else to blame me for.
The walk to school took longer than usual, due to the fact that every step was hell. Who knew something as simple as breathing could be this difficult? I was still there thirty minutes early, though. Thoughts of being forced to sing next Friday were swimming through my head and I immediately went into the school to find Josh. He wasn't in the music room when I walked in, though. I was a little disappointed. I was really hoping to talk to him about it. Ask him how he knew my band. I looked around for any sign that he was here, but found none.
My eyes drew to the piano across from me. It wouldn't really be that bad to play just a few keys?
I made my way over there slowly, checking behind me for someone who could be watching. I placed my bag on the floor and started the intro to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, my karoke song. I wanted so badly to sing it, but I couldn't risk anyone hearing me. I didn't want to get into trouble. I played the whole song, and broke down a bit to hum at the end. I looked at the keys, for once considering that Friday thing. I would do it just to get a chance to see my guys. I missed them.
Someone slowly started clapping, the sound coming from right behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin, and I did fall off the bench. I caught myself on my hands and knees but wasted no time scrambling to my feet. My ribs and stomach lit up in pain and one arm instinctively wrapped itself around my waist protectively, the other one stabilizing me on a nearby chair back. My vision blurred for a moment.
Vic raised an eyebrow at me, smirking, "Calm down, hermano. It's just a song. You weren't caught doing drugs or anything," he laughed, then pulled out his cell phone. "I found him," he said after the person he was calling picked up. "Yeah, we're in the music room . . . Alright meet you there." He hung up, then picked up my back pack and threw it at me.
I gasped as I caught it and turned away as he walked to the other side of the room. I let the bag drop onto my support chair, then leaned against it, this time with both hands in front of me. I felt like I was going to throw up.
"C'mon loser let's go. Mike and-" I could feel the air behind me turn sour with concern. I almost rolled my eyes, and I quickly composed myself, swinging my backpack around and up to my shoulders. I gritted my teeth and made my way to him with my head down. He didn't question me and I was pretty happy about that.
The walk to the math room was silent, but it was a comfortable silence. I was glad that I was with Vic because I wasn't sure if I could find my way there by myself. I felt pretty queasy the whole way, so I was keeping my eye out for a bathroom if I needed to jump in really quick. I didn't end up finding one, though.
We made it to the door and I followed Vic in. Mike waved at me enthusiastically.
"What were you doing in the music room, dude?" Jaime asked. I wondered if he was feeling better but didn't know if it was really my place to ask. I also didn't want to weird them out by writing it down and showing it to them. I wish I was comfortable talking like everyone else. I wished that I didn't have such an annoying voice.
I shrugged in answer to him and pulled out my iPod. I was starting to feel a little nervous and out of my element so I figured listening to my guys would be a pretty good idea.
"He was talking to Josh," Vic answered for me. "About the project." I spun to look at him, wondering why he was lying. Nonetheless, I was grateful for it. His face was impassive, though, so I was left with my confusion as he turned to his bag and started pulling things out. I plugged in one headphone and let Better Off Dead fill my ears. I winced as I heard myself start singing and tuned that part out. The background was so much better anyways.
I spent the rest of math class studiously doing the work Mr. Page had given us and not listening to a single word he said. I'd learned about this stuff ages ago. I sat and just listened to my music for a full twenty minutes at the end of class, having nothing else to work on. The bell rung and Mike, Jaime, and Tony did the pitch match thing again. They walked me to Ms. Perry's and Tony firmly told me to meet them in the cafeteria after her class was over. I nodded, though I felt a bit uneasy about it.
Ms. Perry's class was english and they were in the middle of reading this really horrible book. I hadn't even remembered the name of it and the reading she'd assigned last night for homework never got done. Not for lack of trying, I might add. I never got the chance to do my homework, I realized.
"Alright, children, open up your computers, I've emailed a link to a quiz on the reading from last night." I looked around uneasily. No one had mentioned needing a computer.
Everyone pulled out identical looking ones, though, so that gave me some hope that I wouldn't have to cough up the money for one myself. Or ask my parents. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote, 'I wasn't aware that we needed computers. I'm new here.' I raised my hand and Ms. Perry glared at me. "What?" she snapped, startling me. With shaking hands I held up my paper. Ms. Perry rolled her eyes and huffed, standing up quickly with a scowl on her face. She stomped over, "Mute boy, learn some manners!" She snatched the paper out of my hands and I shrunk back. The way she was so willingly insulting me was starting to get to me. My palms broke out in sweat and suddenly the walls felt way too close.
I quickly mapped the best way to a bathroom or something, but then I realized that I had no idea where one would be. Maybe I'd go to the music wing it was pretty chill down there. No one would have to see me.
Ms. Perry snapped in front of my face, bringing me back to the situation at hand, then pointed aggressively to the door, "I said take your stuff and go down to the computer lab. By tomorrow I expect you to have a sufficient computer to use while in my class. Did you not read the syllabus I gave to you yesterday?" Without waiting for an answer she stalked back to her overly organized desk and flopped down into her seat with another annoyed huff.
The whole situation had me on edge. I could practically feel my nerves fraying with each passing second I was in there with that woman. Still, though, I managed to walk calmly out of the classroom, then I bolted to the end of the hall, flew down the stairs and jumped into the music hallway before breaking down completely.